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Eugene_OMalley

Eugene_OMalley

Lv1
2021-03-12 JoinedUnited States
1d

Writing

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3

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34
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley1yr
    Replied to Devilngle

    In the end, only one girl will be chosen. But along the way, it's anyone's game. I still haven't completely settled on how things will end.

    Ch 1 I am a Rock
    altalt
    Waiting to be Free
    Urban · Eugene_OMalley
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley1yr
    Posted

    The story has a decent balance of different elements. It does well in showing that its MC is a world-weary man, while preserving the mystery of his experience. Each setting is well crafted to paint a good mental picture. And the way it's written, the character's inner turmoil can be clearly felt. The pacing is relaxed, but nothing to complain about. Only gripe is that some of the MC's self loathing inner monologue seems to be rather heavy handed and melodramatic. Aside from that, I think this is shaping up to be a good read.

    altalt
    The Guardian of Rynnlee
    Fantasy · NobleQueenBee
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley1yr
    Replied to Slime_King

    A cyclops is a monster from Greek mythology. Physically, it's similar to a human, except for the fact that not only is it a giant, but it has just one eye in the middle of its head.

    "Yeah", he sighed, "M-my older br-brother is K-Kenshiro the Cyclops."
    altalt
    Waiting to be Free
    Urban · Eugene_OMalley
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley1yr
    Replied to NobleQueenBee

    You are welcome, faithful reader

    Ch 79 Black Box Warning
    altalt
    Waiting to be Free
    Urban · Eugene_OMalley
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley1yr
    Commented

    Needs a comma after 'Dear'

    Elias's gaze became far off, "Dear Zephyra has no control over the thoughts of her subjects, least of all the one in front of you."
    altalt
    Empress of the World
    Fantasy · NobleQueenBee
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley2yr
    Replied to FluffyHaremPlz

    Just the one. However, we are copious amounts of chapters away from a definite conclusion. And by the time we get to that point, I hope that the one who gets chosen will not only make sense but be mostly agreed upon that she's the best choice.

    Ch 56 Philia
    altalt
    Waiting to be Free
    Urban · Eugene_OMalley
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley2yr
    Replied to Yaxael

    Geez, what did I do to inspire that gif?

    altalt
    Waiting to be Free
    Urban · Eugene_OMalley
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley2yr
    Commented

    Could probably drop 'It's useless" with the past sentence

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    omwah
    Fantasy · dead_oop
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley2yr
    Replied to ChrisMit

    And you can't smell your own s**t on your knees

    'It's all relative to the size of your steeple', Benjiro quoted in his head pretending he was more lost in thought than he appeared
    altalt
    Waiting to be Free
    Urban · Eugene_OMalley
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley2yr
    Commented

    Should be 'bloodied clothes'

    He ran throughout up to the junction with blooded clothes when Jeremy saw a skateboard. 
    altalt
    客服药物 (Eh. Will be rewritten)
    Fantasy · BrewingFantasies
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley2yr
    Commented

    I think the word should be "followed" not "flowed"

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    客服药物 (Eh. Will be rewritten)
    Fantasy · BrewingFantasies
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley2yr
    Replied to ChrisMit

    Sorry about that. I just figured out that by changing my genre to female leading, it would be classified as romance, which this is.

    Ch 12 Paper thoughts
    altalt
    Waiting to be Free
    Urban · Eugene_OMalley
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley2yr
    Replied to ChrisMit

    It doesn't taste fantastic on its own, but it really adds a lot of flavor when added to soup broth.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Waiting to be Free
    Urban · Eugene_OMalley
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley2yr
    Posted

    You do very well in describing your world and characters. The imagery you create just makes them seem so real. Just be sure to check your spelling and capitalization and break up your paragraphs when you have dialog. Otherwise, this story shows much promise.

    altalt
    The Tribrid Girl
    Fantasy · Darkswan
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley2yr
    Commented

    Should be 'practice'

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    I am the King of the Undead (has now been moved)
    Fantasy · mattfuncool
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley2yr
    Commented

    That should be "Oh, how I pity you, my friend. So tell me more. I'm interested in hearing."

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    I am the King of the Undead (has now been moved)
    Fantasy · mattfuncool
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley2yr
    Commented

    Could probably say "As you can see there is much I don't understand"

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    I am the King of the Undead (has now been moved)
    Fantasy · mattfuncool
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley2yr
    Commented

    Could probably lose 'if you think I intend to disrespect you by lying.'

    "Queen Luann if you think I intend to disrespect you by lying, I had no such thought as what I have told you is true."
    altalt
    I am the King of the Undead (has now been moved)
    Fantasy · mattfuncool
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley2yr
    Commented

    Should be 'those two' and add a question mark

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    I am the King of the Undead (has now been moved)
    Fantasy · mattfuncool
    detail
  • Eugene_OMalley
    Eugene_OMalley2yr
    Commented

    Add question mark

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    I am the King of the Undead (has now been moved)
    Fantasy · mattfuncool
    detail