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Chaddts

Chaddts

Lv1
2021-01-27 JoinedGlobal
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Writing

4.3h

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689
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts8d
    Commented

    Way way too extra. Far too much telling and not enough showing.

    Ch 4 Training Skippu Chp 4
    altalt
    The Ultimate Saiyan Warrior Reborn
    Anime & Comics · DarkHelixDragoon24
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts8d
    Commented

    I have to drop it here. You committed the cardinal sin of erasing the memories of the person who was isekaied What's the point after that? He isn't the same person who died so its not really an isekai at all anymore. Furthermore I can't see Bruce accepting the symbiote unless he was desperate, and certainly not giving up control of his body.

    Ch 6 Chapter 6: Assessing my situation
    altalt
    Reincarnated as Venom in the DC universe
    Movies · Kenji_Makoto
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts8d
    Commented

    You Need to show that who is speaking changed somehow.

    Ch 2 Chapter 2: Batman...begins?
    altalt
    Reincarnated as Venom in the DC universe
    Movies · Kenji_Makoto
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts2mth
    Replied to Comicstorian

    The translation is not good enough at all. for instane brother-in-law. why was that used instead of the mans name? therre is a noticable lack of "her""he" and other pronouns where is would be natural. its frankly just bad.

    altalt
    H.P: My Hogwarts Journey
    Book&Literature · Comicstorian
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Replied to BlitzKrieG_K

    Haha, no, thats a writing skip.

    Ch 2 Let's See What We Have Here
    altalt
    Naruto: His Ambition
    Anime & Comics · BlitzKrieG_K
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Commented

    Way, wag too much telling, and not enough showing. For instance you said the z fighters introduced themselves, vs actually writing the introductions. The difference between telling vs showing is like a Summary vs a scene. You need to write the scene, not a Summary of what happened during the scene.

    Ch 1 1. Awakening
    altalt
    Dragon Ball: Freebird
    Anime & Comics · Gabe_
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Commented

    Terrible, all telling, and no showing.

    Ch 1 Chapter 1: New World
    altalt
    One Piece: Trafalgar Law
    Anime & Comics · komega
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Commented

    Bad translation. Also why does Dumbledore call himself a wizard to a muggle?

    Ch 1 Chapter 1: Wool's Orphanage
    altalt
    Harry Potter: Journey to Godhood
    Book&Literature · bobthewriter
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Commented

    Kind of a let down after last chapter.

    Ch 191 Chapter LIV: Blasphemy
    altalt
    Skyrim: A Sorcerer's Tale
    Video Games · Rastislav
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Commented

    Ehh I saw it coming a long time ago, far too cliche. I know you did it justbto don't it, but Morrigan would have been more expected.

    Ch 190 Chapter LIII: Royal Rumble
    altalt
    Skyrim: A Sorcerer's Tale
    Video Games · Rastislav
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Posted

    Another lazy orphan m.c trope. Nothing original here. I tired of the author not wanting to write characters. Over half of the isekai strories on here are " orphan m.c tropes" it's infuriating. Write a story with characters or not, but this orphan crap is unbelievable. Have some pride in your work for (f)ucks sake.

    altalt
    I'm a Daemon, so what? (Tensura/Multicross)
    Anime & Comics · theogbasilisk
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Replied to Devils_and_angels

    The fact he even mentions his race is concerning.

    Ch 1 The One Bearing 'All the Evils of the World'
    altalt
    Danmachi: Captured by Freya at the Beginning!
    Anime & Comics · U22
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Commented

    This chapter makes no sense. Where did Phil go? They were having a conversation and it just stopped? Sp weird.

    Ch 6 6
    altalt
    New life with a sci-fi system
    Others · Guardian1
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Commented

    Robot translation.

    Ch 1 Chapter 1
    altalt
    I Am The Patriarch Of Naruto
    Anime & Comics · Uchiha_shisui
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Commented

    Luna, idc, if he is in her brother body lol. She best girl.

    Ch 1 Waking up
    altalt
    HP: The Sun (reborn as luna's twin brother)
    Book&Literature · Bter
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Commented

    One the best works ever posted here in web nove. Keep it up!

    Ch 182 Chapter XLV: Of Divine Staves and Elven Goons
    altalt
    Skyrim: A Sorcerer's Tale
    Video Games · Rastislav
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Commented

    Too many weird issues. For instance Martha SMELLED the crash. How can you smell a crash?

    Ch 1 Chapter 1: The Second Spaceship Descends on Kent Farm (Edited)
    altalt
    Superman's Saiyan little brother
    Anime & Comics · INIT
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Commented

    you cant even get the names correct, its Lucifuge, Not Luci-fudge. beyond that, the intro was so boring. Why are you telling us, instead of showing us? the very first chapter and its a bad, poorly written infodump...

    Ch 1 Chapter 1
    altalt
    Multiverse: Rise of the Demon Queen
    Anime & Comics · CrystalWisp
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Commented

    classic case of too much telling and not enough showing. nothing about the story feels organic. Just a rush of meaningless "He did this", "He did that". The first mission was incredibly poorly written. you didnt show us what he did, instead you told us in the most boring way possible, and then timeskipped without building any kind of personlity or relationships with any of the characters.

    Ch 4 4
    altalt
    New life with a sci-fi system
    Others · Guardian1
    detail
  • Chaddts
    Chaddts3mth
    Commented

    a little too "out there" for a harry potter fanfic.

    Ch 2 Chapter 2 First night
    altalt
    Slytherin devil
    Book&Literature · _Arthas_
    detail