Vaibhav_Mehra
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Vaibhav_Mehra1mthCommentedI like this system
--ELIMINATING HOST...PLEASE WAIT--- Vaibhav_Mehra2mthReplied to Meowder
I must say, this is the fastest reply from an author I've ever seen, and having you say that is reassuring
Unfortunately, he doesn't know how to open the system. - Vaibhav_Mehra2mthCommented
Should've been 'he "didn't" know' instead of 'he "doesn't" know' Pretty nice so far, other than these small grammatical issues with the narration
Unfortunately, he doesn't know how to open the system. - Vaibhav_Mehra2mthReplied to Uckerfay_12345
But whatever you choose to do, it's gotta be consistent This one is 'mostly' in the past, then all of a sudden there's 2 paragraphs narrated in present That's the source of the jarring read
Michael checked his status once again, truly. There are core sciences that he needed to level up. Geology, Oceanography, Astronomy, Biology, and Chemistry. He wanted them to be at least level 3. But to do so, he'll have to read tons of books and do research on those areas. - Vaibhav_Mehra2mthCommented
How much did they sell for exactly? 1,500,000 Pesos (1.5 mil) or 1,500,000 Pesos (I don't even know how much that is)
It was eight o'clock in the evening and 1,500 solar panels that were displayed at the event venue were sold out. Raking in a total of 1,500,000 million pesos in sales. Michael didn't expect that they'd be able to sell all of the solar panels within the day, given that they are just a new company. - Vaibhav_Mehra2mthReplied to Uckerfay_12345
Hmm, that's actually pretty much up to how the author wants to portray it, but having the narration in the past tense is the mainstream way Even this novel, for most of the part keeps the narration in past, for example: "I am very impressed by what you have presented, Michael" Bridget said That's an example, not actual text from the novel, just something I made up, but it suffices for explaining purposes The narration, which in this example would be: "Bridget said" is in the past, while the dialog, which would be: "I am very impressed by what you have presented, Michael" is in the present That's because most novels, including this one, tell a story that has already taken place, so to say While it would not be wrong to have the entire narration in present tense, trust me, it feels pretty jarring to read
Michael checked his status once again, truly. There are core sciences that he needed to level up. Geology, Oceanography, Astronomy, Biology, and Chemistry. He wanted them to be at least level 3. But to do so, he'll have to read tons of books and do research on those areas. - Vaibhav_Mehra2mthCommented
My dear author, you need to brush up the grammar a bit, make all the narration in the past tense instead of present, for example, in this paragraph, instead of "There are core sciences he needed to level up", the correct way of putting it would be: "There 'were' core sciences he needed to level up" Other than that, it's a pretty neat work with a novel concept
Michael checked his status once again, truly. There are core sciences that he needed to level up. Geology, Oceanography, Astronomy, Biology, and Chemistry. He wanted them to be at least level 3. But to do so, he'll have to read tons of books and do research on those areas.