Well, honestly? Too stupid fantasies. Completely stupid actions, and if your story was even a little like the original, he would be punished 10 times. And your intelligence agent looks more like a stupid schoolboy

well, I couldn’t force myself to read further than the first volume, the author writes about what he doesn’t understand at all, another mother’s businessman and builder, its clear for me that this is not about economics, business, construction and sociology with psychology, but why add any of this to story if you do not understand anything from this? The details are absolutely not worked out, but more like the fantasies of a beggar from Africa

well, like your hero is full of the same garbage as the main characters whom he hates, the person is the antipode for the OP of the Main Heroes, this is the one who, by his own strength and by any means, will achieve his goals, without the help of magazines, systems and other shit, otherwise here usual shit OP MS. A story in which an ordinary person without cheats and a system, because of hatred and envy for the main characters, could overthrow Momonga and capture Nazarick using any means and opportunities would be interesting, otherwise you have one trash MC against another trash MC

I hope there will be no harem, and there will be at least one MC who will truly love Hestia and give her all his attention

leave Tsunade to the usual Tsunade, make the hero an ordinary transmigrant without OP powers, even the usual knowledge of the canon sttory and an adult mind will make him quite strong, do not give him more cheats.

we are waiting for him to start using his sacred gear for orgies with a bunch of tentacles, otherwise it is unrealistic to sexually satisfy so many strong and hardy ladies

like dude what else is a normal life, you have an adult SI in a world of death? I hope your character is not a complete idiot who will go to school and waste his time. Restoration of documents I do not think that it will cost him dearly, in extreme cases, he will simply help himself with hypnosis.

The situation is far-fetched beyond measure, like what does he even care about random people? Like, do they even have any points of pressure on him? Nobody will leave the business without real reason,especially in England. Killor subdue, please, and no duel will help him avoid this attention if someone really want it. Creating false tension is not worth it, your character is acting out of character again.

don’t be stupid, maybe Hiruzen could bend under the daimyo (and then danzo should be good at controlling garbage nobles), but I highly doubt that Kiba would have any respect for any daimyo or nobles, the maximum treaty for protecting the land of fire in exchange for funding, with any attempt to impose their will on the daimyo will quickly be changed. Daimyos simply have no reason to control Konoha, as soon as the shinobi expand the pool of their activities, any possible leverage on konoha will disappear. Without power, all you have to do is praise the gods every day for surviving. And what about the daimyo alliance? (It’s very easy for Kiba to make an alliance with other Kage and replace them with more loyal daimyo who will not dig under the ninja, here the fire daimyo just brazenly tried to intimidate Kiba, but instead he hung a target for himself, because no one can tolerate such will not.

Well Kiba definitely couldn't stand it. send the Hokage as a mongrel? He must receive a very expensive bill for his mission. I doubt that Kiba would waste his Shinobi potential in fighting for a daimyo or in a low-paying job. Rather introduce and will expand mass education to many other areas of activity (medicine, construction, agriculture, science, etc.) shinobi have a lot of potential not only in military affairs. Of course, basic military training is essential in such a world, but I think it's just compulsory education in a shinobi academy for everyone, with a further choice of direction, and not throwing 12 year olds into battle.

what exactly does he calculate if he already has a ready-made formula and the meaning behind this formula? the magician only puts the meaning and the program of actions into the manna and it follows the instructions, the speed of the execution of the commands by the manna should absolutely not depend on the computing power of the individual

Well, to be honest, your SI feels somehow completely useless. What did you do with math magic? For the sake of an Op cheat for your MC, you turned it into complete garbage, where does the cast time come from? a person with a perfect memory should not have any problems with fast casting, what other strange calculations do you derive? The essence of mathematical magic is that you reduce all the necessary effects to a ready-made formula, and you need to change or recalculate something only when you change or create new spell, I honestly don't understand the logic behind your magic system.

mmm did you forget that your hero trained sakura? who had perfect chakra control without him, let's be realistic, in order to suck chakra from someone who controls it well, you need to have either much stronger chakra or much stronger will, I don’t know why in all fanfics they expose Aburame as something very strong, they are certainly strong as covert assassins or scouts, but no more. In 1v1 tournament fights, he will have no chance at all against any shinobi with common sense.

Seriously, all the dregs with contracts seem wildly unreliable, and again, your hero has a common sense, and he will definitely risk it for no reason, so a random call will be sent away, Toads are too suspicious and honestly on their own minds. In general, you showed the hero as a sane person, familiar with the scientific approach, and he would rather want to create autonomous puppets or take out reliable familiars himself than rely on something about which he has no information, he will even investigate the senzutsu itself on the experimental subjects and what effect natural energy has on the body and mind of the user and only after successful safe tests will be used on himself.

but in general, I hope that your hero will be without any contracts, and will learn how to use senjutsu like Hashirama

for some reason, I don’t see your Kiba at all with either Monkeys or Toads, they are of little use to him, they simply do not suit him, and your Kiba will not sign any contracts until he understands how they work, as you have shown, he has common sense.. Rather, your Kiba would trade the Slug contract with Tsunade, I think it would be difficult for him to do this.

it was a great fanfic before the MCU and Natasha came along. Creating and distributing his Evil Pieces doesn't even make sense for your character with his personality anymore. In general, your fanfic turned into a complete trash in just 2 chapters.

Well, so far everything is fine except for the presence of TenTen, well, she is stupidly ordinary, well, like Wu would never marry her, and certainly would not allow her to somehow limit him. Momets with TenTen feel the most fake in your story

there are too many things in the story and in the end it is not focused on anything, and the system and the chat group and Op eyes, and the world of Overlord, and a whining story. Basically everything and nothing. The story would be better if you just focused on the world of the Overlord and relations with Evileye

seriously, a hero without a strong personality, will and mind, somehow still has not died and has not experienced any trials, but got a bunch of OP forces from somewhere. You are insulting Nasuverse more and more by continuing to write this