lstreader
Writing
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3 Hours straight isn’t that long to work
Honestly, a really great idea for the fanfic, but its execution is terrible. Grammar is not good, possibly because it seems like it might be translated. Little to no dialogue, and they don't even add " " to show someone is speaking. They don't show Toji's thoughts for being reincarnated, ending up in the shinobi world, or anything else. He just trains and then works as a mercenary, nothing else interesting happens. He barely meets anyone or talks to anyone. Anyways, I gave a 2.4/5
Overall, a good story. I like the idea, it's unique from other pokemon fanfictions I've read in the past. It's quite early on in the story though, with the MC only being five as of Chap 40. My biggest issue is the writing style. The author writes in an overly flowery manner, and it's become quite annoying after a while, so I gave the writing quality only a 3 stars. Despite my dislike for the exaggerated writing style, there's few spelling mistakes and grammar issues that I've noticed.
Unless I missed it, they didn't even mention learning Thunder Wave too
You mean Staravia? Staraptors are 1.2 m
ascend*
I'm not sure if this is because it's an AU, but there have been non-human chancellors before
How would that Vulpix end up there, I thought Alola was a newly found region by the time Ash traveled there, and this point it would have been completely unknown
Thought it was white and not purple
Yoriichi had a wife before so he knows how to properly interact with others, I don't think he was this socially inept
Need to make sure to add commas
Sake*
Earth is still there though? Night City is just that, a city.
Dude just said how he should take it easy and then immediately goes and does all that
I thought this dude had perfect memory or smtn
2
"Enormously powerful power" sounds a bit ridiculous. Perhaps just say "There is no way she could have sensed anything" or something like that
I might be rusty on HP knowledge, but isn't it Patronum?