“Isn’t this THE same as becoming a slave of THE government instead of a slave of THE Dhovrix?” Based on the flag besides your name author, I would have thought English was your first language? It sure doesn’t seem like it.
Ok, so a skeleton, really? You make him a night elf, a relatively unexplored race at least when it comes to MC’s and full with exciting possibilities and potential. And you make his “battle form” a cheap ghost rider knockoff? You make him depend on an artifact for power? Couldn’t you have come up with something a little less chuuni?
So you made the mc struggle against a bug he could easily stomp on if he used his full strength, just to do some world building? That kind of clumsy writing is the kind of thing that pulls me right out of any fantasy world. At least mention it in the character’s mind or something that he is hiding his abilities for some reason or another otherwise it makes the fight feel very artificial and forced.
Sigh… 😩, so cringe. Gauntlets are NOT weapons. They don’t increase your fighting range, they don’t act as force multipliers, they only make your punches harder. They are barely better than a naked fist. Authors need to stop this stupid trend of using spiked gauntlets for their MC just because it looks ”edgy”
I almost never leave reviews, but this novel needs one. First off, let me state that this novel is by far the best written I have encountered here. By the standards of Webnovel, it is a diamond. It is so good however, that I’m not holding it to those, I am going to hold it to the standards of actual published books. If you judge it as such, unfortunately, the novel falls short. Let’s start with my number one issue: PACING. The novel is slow, tediously, almost painfully, slow. I know some novels start off this way and then pick up the pace but with this one, I feel that is highly unlikely, mainly due to mthe writing style. The author apparently feels the uncontrollable urge to explain absolutely everything, no matter how meaningless. Everything, from the mechanics of the weather to how the sewage system works is expounded upon with excruciating detail, all while letting us know the mc’s feelings about it, and the feelings of the people who built the sewers as well. At the rate this is going, the icecaps will finish melting before Shang gets anything done. Exposition is like sugar on a cake, too little and the cake is bland, too much and it’s inedible. Info dumps can be useful tools when used properly, in faster paced novels they are meant to get the worldbuilding out of the way so you can get to the action faster, a bit crude, but it works. Another way of exposition (and the best way in my opinion) is to spread bits of information about the world as the character explores it making it feel more natural and engrossing. The operative word being “bits” of information, you can even alternate these methods if you want, along your story. What you should not do however is make every ”bit” an infodump as the action of the story stagnates. Overall, the author is good writer, his style reminds me of Robert Jordan’s, and most people would agree he was a great writer. Unfortunately I cannot keep reading this novel, for the same reason I never finished the Wheel of Time, the same reason Jordan died before he finished writing his epic tale, the pacing is glacial.
The premise of the story, though unoriginal, is always a guilty pleasure of mine, transmigration into a cultivation world with a system, dual cultivation and a harem with r18 scenes, so far so good, nothing amazing, but good comfort food. What I absolutely cannot stand however is the quality of the English in the story. This is Webnovel so I have already massively lowered my expectations, however this is ridiculous. The story not only suffers from typos, but also glaring grammar and syntax errors. Simply put half the time the writing cannot be recognized as English, and even grammarly would not be able to help. The author stated that English is not his first language and I understand that as it isn’t mine either, but he is far off the point of being able to write any story in this language, let alone a Webnovel, so to the author I’ll just say this: please stop writing for now, until your English improves, or get several beta readers and an editor, you trying write this novel with your English level is like a toddler trying to compete in the 100m sprint in the Olympics.
Maybe you’ve heard this before author but elbow length black gloves are extremely feminine looking, try a google search and all the models using them are women, not to mention the guys that are using them are into bondage and stuff. I really just can’t picture the mc using them without looking ridiculous, sorry I’m a pretty visual guy.
The “would” here makes it unclear as to wether this is somethIng that happened or will happen in the future. Considering the second sentence, it happened already so the sentence should read “they hit it off” or “they had hit it off”
Author, quick tip: Please stop using “He would do this” and go back to using “He did this” The “would”makes it hard to ascertain if something actually happened or if it might happen,making it confusing as hell to read. Other than that this is one of the better written books in this website so keep up the great work!!
Quick question... Isn’t our MC an unrivalled swordsman in this world? Why is he fighting barehanded and even using his last resort technique instead of using his sword will? or even combine undying wrath with his swordsmanship as the way I see it, it’s just a general amplification of power and should not interfere with his swordsmanship at all. The mc complained about not having a sword about 10 chapters ago and now he has one but doesn’t use it? Please be more consistent with the MC’s fighting style.
2.5 meters in diameter is waaaay too wide to be considered “concentrated” given that it’s both wider and taller than the person casting it.
Author, the ash created by burning wood is light grey, I think the word you are looking for is soot not ash, also, this could have been avoided with a more specific description from the beggining.
Just started reading. Very well written novel so far, and an interesting world to explore, I can see some similarities with other isekai novels but it has its own unique flavor. Going to give this one a tryKeep up the great work!