Crazy_potatoes
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Crazy_potatoes30dReplied to emir_adarthe story feels like it's forced, every action, convo, too much speed.
Vali rushed towards me even faster, driven by newfound motivation. I decided to allow him to land at least one hit to boost his morale. As he threw a punch, I made it look as though he'd struck me. Albion noticed what I was doing, but chose to remain silent.- Crazy_potatoes30dReplied to emir_adar
but you're not him, i'm just saying it's reasonable to put the background story on the account, cause nothing will make sense if he's betrayed in the past then he trusts very easily even now?
In the end, Theo is friends with Susanoo, and he doesn't believe they would harm him. - Crazy_potatoes30dCommented
for a guy that's been betrayed, he trusts very easily. i don't know why or how but i think it's naivety because he knows the plot.
In the end, Theo is friends with Susanoo, and he doesn't believe they would harm him. - Crazy_potatoes30dCommentedTheo: "Thanks for waiting for me. After all, it's normal for a king to move around with his army, isn't it?"
- Crazy_potatoes30dCommented
trying hard to be cool .....sucks and cringe at the same time
Then, a hundred shadows emerged from his shadow, and he began to walk slowly towards the guests. - Crazy_potatoes30dReplied to emir_adar
more like speeding things up
Vali rushed towards me even faster, driven by newfound motivation. I decided to allow him to land at least one hit to boost his morale. As he threw a punch, I made it look as though he'd struck me. Albion noticed what I was doing, but chose to remain silent. - Crazy_potatoes5mthCommented
seriously bruhh
Within the interrogation room. Erix was currently sitting with a handcuff in his hands having been brought by the justice league as precaution seeing he was a bigger threat than Darkseid himself! - Crazy_potatoes9mthReplied to Azoroth
You're welcome and your fanfic is interesting btw.
As I extended my hand, a familiar sensation enveloped us, the magic of teleportation whisking us away from the throne room to the enigmatic realm of the 11th. In that fleeting moment, I cast a last glance towards Momonga, a silent promise that together, we would confront the mysteries that awaited us. - Crazy_potatoes9mthReplied to Azoroth
and please if you want to enrich your vocabulary and literature then place this on the literature section of webnovel to note the reader, thank you.
As I extended my hand, a familiar sensation enveloped us, the magic of teleportation whisking us away from the throne room to the enigmatic realm of the 11th. In that fleeting moment, I cast a last glance towards Momonga, a silent promise that together, we would confront the mysteries that awaited us. - Crazy_potatoes9mthReplied to
I meant no offensive words btw, but on how things that you write on those very specific lines like, ex: " i grab him in the hand, the smooth yet rough skin of his hand that endure countless hours of work, left me with awe and admiration to him" see to me if i'm not aware of his gender the people will mistaken him to be a girl. that's what i'm saying to much dramatic words on too little action will be boring to read and it's becoming annoying really it's not a Shakespeare book to be a dramatic, But town it down a little bit it's more interesting to be specific in battle scenes. And you didn't write it in your synopsis that you intend to sharpen your vocabulary....
As I extended my hand, a familiar sensation enveloped us, the magic of teleportation whisking us away from the throne room to the enigmatic realm of the 11th. In that fleeting moment, I cast a last glance towards Momonga, a silent promise that together, we would confront the mysteries that awaited us. - Crazy_potatoes9mthReplied to The_Blind_Bandit
and by any means don't add the word "not" if you already use the word "don't" cause it will be like this "do not not"..
Kahn: (raising an eyebrow) "Pirates, huh? Might as well give 'em a little fireworks show. Shell 'em." - Crazy_potatoes9mthCommented
it seems like the mc is the wife of momonga the way of describing it... too many dramatic words for being lazy to describe the stats of the MC. just "NOD" is fine author.
As I extended my hand, a familiar sensation enveloped us, the magic of teleportation whisking us away from the throne room to the enigmatic realm of the 11th. In that fleeting moment, I cast a last glance towards Momonga, a silent promise that together, we would confront the mysteries that awaited us. - Crazy_potatoes9mthCommented
sounds gayy
"Exactly," I replied, offering a reassuring mental nod. "We'll face this head-on, step by step. Together." - Crazy_potatoes9mthCommented
where?
This paragraph has been deleted. - Crazy_potatoes9mthReplied to Azoroth
?? where?
This paragraph has been deleted. - Crazy_potatoes9mthPosted
yoo author just came here to say that i dropped this fanfic a while ago then see that you updated so i checked it to see if there's improvement to the mc then checked the comments and guess what i see this reader AnRa dunno if its correct and it's very accurate!! you just make soooo weak and pathetic that knows SUN WUKONG strength to this little s***... then to add to the already horrible strength he's in YOU even make it that "you're worthy" thing to use staff, etc, to use his powers that he owns like wtf bruhh give me a break... this isn't thor he's sun wukong i bet stronger than thor! and IF you make it that he can wield it if the person is worthy of the staff "that he is worthy" already why can colossus lift it? even thor's hammer cannot be wielded by anybody? huh that some rule bending s*** i read for a while now. Soooo good luck on your fanfic cause people will find this absurd to the point that "NOT WORTH READING" and has brain aneurysm itself.
- Crazy_potatoes9mthReplied to King_of_Dogs
you go first
"get your ass up and plant that fence down before I whip your dirty ass nigg-" - Crazy_potatoes11mthPosted
- Crazy_potatoes11mthCommented
they don't bow they use guns....jwk
The female police officer immediately bowed slightly quite politely before heading towards the police car parked by the roadside and leaving to continue her patrol.