Crazy_potatoes
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the story feels like it's forced, every action, convo, too much speed.
but you're not him, i'm just saying it's reasonable to put the background story on the account, cause nothing will make sense if he's betrayed in the past then he trusts very easily even now?
for a guy that's been betrayed, he trusts very easily. i don't know why or how but i think it's naivety because he knows the plot.
trying hard to be cool .....sucks and cringe at the same time
more like speeding things up
seriously bruhh
You're welcome and your fanfic is interesting btw.
and please if you want to enrich your vocabulary and literature then place this on the literature section of webnovel to note the reader, thank you.
I meant no offensive words btw, but on how things that you write on those very specific lines like, ex: " i grab him in the hand, the smooth yet rough skin of his hand that endure countless hours of work, left me with awe and admiration to him" see to me if i'm not aware of his gender the people will mistaken him to be a girl. that's what i'm saying to much dramatic words on too little action will be boring to read and it's becoming annoying really it's not a Shakespeare book to be a dramatic, But town it down a little bit it's more interesting to be specific in battle scenes. And you didn't write it in your synopsis that you intend to sharpen your vocabulary....
and by any means don't add the word "not" if you already use the word "don't" cause it will be like this "do not not"..
it seems like the mc is the wife of momonga the way of describing it... too many dramatic words for being lazy to describe the stats of the MC. just "NOD" is fine author.
sounds gayy
where?
?? where?
yoo author just came here to say that i dropped this fanfic a while ago then see that you updated so i checked it to see if there's improvement to the mc then checked the comments and guess what i see this reader AnRa dunno if its correct and it's very accurate!! you just make soooo weak and pathetic that knows SUN WUKONG strength to this little s***... then to add to the already horrible strength he's in YOU even make it that "you're worthy" thing to use staff, etc, to use his powers that he owns like wtf bruhh give me a break... this isn't thor he's sun wukong i bet stronger than thor! and IF you make it that he can wield it if the person is worthy of the staff "that he is worthy" already why can colossus lift it? even thor's hammer cannot be wielded by anybody? huh that some rule bending s*** i read for a while now. Soooo good luck on your fanfic cause people will find this absurd to the point that "NOT WORTH READING" and has brain aneurysm itself.
you go first
they don't bow they use guns....jwk