Nacho4U
Hello! :)
Writing
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Alrighty, for your first novel, this is pretty good! I'll admit, there are writing errors, but that's to be expected and which you can easily fix. I definitely felt like some parts were dragged out for way too long, and naming one off characters only to be killed wasn't exactly necessary either. But there are definitely interesting ideas you managed to create, 'the entity' can easily show up in any of your other stories should you decide to create any. I personally feel like being a cosmic being unable to physically change the world, but influence is an idea I like very much. You can practically make your stories connected somehow, or at least reference this story within your other future ones. Overall, for your first story, it's okay, there are ideas that work and you should develop more. Also tone down the grim dark stuff next time, admittedly that might make people to stop reading entirely and drop your novel.. 😅