Savage_C00KIE
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This sentence needs to change the 'he' in 'she'.
This entire paragraph needs to be redone with S/she* instead of H/he.
she*
Vegeta*
'She* said...' '...she* wants to...'
"...a stroke."*
This is something that just felt off but you should put - at the end of skin just to have it look 'completed'. Great chapter though!
You need to rework this entire paragraph to have female pronouns.
right*
OD*
...an* outpost...
"*Can I..."
"*Imagine that..."
her*
Knight*
'*In case...'
"*Oh, right..."
"*No kidding,"