another story with a hysterical character in the style of Sensei, for fans of adequate pass by.

In the case of your argument on Tigress, I immediately recall the saying "woe from wit" a person who thinks too much about a situation loses to someone who goes through it decisively...well, or you are incompetent and cannot write what dozens of other people have written. To be honest, for any writer or other creative person, it is impossible to take a massive step back, and for the reader it is a disappointment in his writing potential. It's a pity that this statement was interesting to read, but I'd rather follow a less talented daredevil than a smart coward.

I have mixed feelings about what I saw, are you sure you can't put an old version of the story in parallel?

the man who jerks off to mediocre jobs tells me, I'm so upset... no

In order to survive, you need to have a brain, there is also a problem here)

6/10 for the System, the only thing that supports the interest is the choice of the character and the more or less acceptable adequacy of the writing of the plot

Congratulations, from this moment on, you will lose all your uniqueness of history

at first glance, you can draw a parallel with another story of the harem movement in this world, but on the other hand, your story surpasses it on all fronts. And I'm not just saying this because of the lack of a stupid System, you managed to create a live character. On the one hand, he has a cool image of a lone wolf, on the other hand, a good background, self-preservation instincts and most importantly, he is not an OP and has already faced sad consequences for himself more than once.

To be honest, I'm surprised. When I started reading the story, based on the name of the story, the image of Jaune and the initial reaction to it, at first I thought that this was another shitty story that this site is rich in, but the author was able to surprise me. Yes, the characters have OOC behavior, yes there are plot deviations, yes in places it is rustic and silly, but if we consider the world of this story as a parallel universe, especially considering how Jaune performed at the beginning of his original story, this version of him eclipses him not only with its growth, this story is worthy of collection and recognition.

Yes, yes, a cool lone wolf who died ten times like all these teenagers if not for the System (-_-)....No, in fact, he's just as much of a jerk. Ignoring this crutch, vpi needs to work out the plot, and not narrate at the speed of a Locomotive. You already have a system that creates a dull tastelessness, at least compensate for this with a smooth plot. And again, the whole story is kept at the expense of the Moon ;-)

the author makes mistake after mistake. First, we have a squad officer who behaves like an Otaku now wants to go home? Well, if he wants to go back the way he came, he has to put a bullet in his head, LoL.

Unfortunately, I will have to take my words back over time, this story has lost its perspective and has slipped to the level of the writer's previous stories.

To be honest, I'm disappointed, I understand that this is the world and this time Kiyoshi at least knows what he's doing, but the fact that he's wooing girls with such a pathetic method is devastating. Part of me hopes that the ending of the scene will not be so gloomy, but looking at your past work...

Idiot. found time to play games and take revenge on the wrong person. The original Kiyoshi can be justified by the fact that his "situations" were accidental and he did not always even realize them, he was just an idiot acting on his emotions and useless risks in the case of Mkiko. I'm not saying how he fooled her by using Marie's trump card (although if Meiko is so astute to believe in Kiyosha's innocence, she should quickly understand such machinations, no?), but Kiyosha's further "tricks" no longer command respect.

Gakuto's thinking, albeit distorted, has a logical rationale. In order to escape, you need everyone to be on the same team and no one to stab you in the back especially, even if it needs to be done forcibly. His method would be effective if Kiyoshi was the same "genius" as him and the other guys, but Kiyoshi is clearly a subject of a different level who understands that if he supports this group, even pretending, he will face more violence and loss of support from Meiko. Kiyoshi is also physically unable to resist directly, so the best method is the neutral behavior of an individual prisoner, plus this is the second time Kiyoshi has been beaten because of the deliberate misconduct of the same person. It's a pretty bad situation in which it's difficult to cope alone...you need to wait for another supervisor's girl with whom Kiyoshi canonically had "incidents", with the right approach, she will be a good ally ;-)

at least I'm glad that Kiyoshi drew a line between himself and his "comrades" in misfortune. How funny it was for me the first time when I studied this world, the second thoughtful viewing guys, to put it mildly, caused nothing but disgust. This is a collection of fetishes that are ridiculed in other Japanese works and any moments when they can be sympathized with are destroyed in a short time by the next act. One of the few people who can be morally perceived normally without "karma drops" like other guys, Kiyoshi himself, although he also had his moments. This author's version of Kiyosha is perceived as an improved (really "plus version") with the absence of some flaws, but at the same time the same personality of the original is felt in many ways, which makes this story interesting.

I'm not a fan of this line of behavior, but it could be much worse in this world. Kiyoshi at least did not ruin his position, although his behavior towards Meiko is quite biased, again unfortunately he does not know how much she is actually softer with him than it would be in the canon.

what has the degradation of the characters come to if everyone whines about bonuses from the doorstep?

not bad. I'm not a fan when a character is given crutches from the prologue (when he's already from a noble family and could get and achieve a lot on his own), but at least you don't abuse it, which many local writers can't boast of. Plus, try to reduce the number of exclamation marks in sentences, it will look strange.

no