Gene_Guirand
of reading
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I need the author to stop explaining plotlines that he intends to reveal later on. It's brilliant writing already and if people are not patient enough, so be it. Clearly the author's strength is foreshadowing. But it's getting ruined by telling us it will be explained later.
Realm of the dead. He got the ability from Hel... makes sense right?
Foreshadowing? Now the mind elder shouldn't be a problem right?
At first, I was like here we go... another story of someone reincarnating and going into a VR game and taking advantage. However, I must say that I am hooked. Good writing that is easy to follow what's going on. While we do have an arrogant MC, it makes sense in the story. While he does have great fortune early on, it's not like he is completely OP. It is a good read to add to the library.
It is an interesting storyline. However, a couple things to be wary about. The writing never improves. I don't mind the minor grammatical errors. But the sentence structure is just awful. It requires too much thought to figure out who is speaking. Then the author screws up the difference between " & ' so often times what should be a thought, is said out loud but followed up with "thinking to himself" But my biggest issues, the constant repeating chapters. Mistakes happen, but even after being informed, the author does not put a message to warn other readers that the chapter is a duplicate. Worst of all, the chapters don't often have the same name, which tells me this is a malicious act. I'm done with this book, which is a same because the plot is well done.
Also, I see what you were doing with the jumping offsides, but there was some missteps. It would've been better if the rookie was a linebacker. A corner would never be that close to the line of scrimmage for the hard count to be effective, he's too far to be impacted by it. More importantly a corner would only be that close if they are playing press coverage and if that's the case, they're not blitzing because they'd never get to the QB in time.