PancakesWitch
An enthusiastic fantasy writer. https://www.patreon.com/pancakeswitch
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technically still alive, like Pandemonium she was fragmented, most of her soul remains in the Chaotic Plane, the other fragments remain in the Ragnarok Dragon
this universe is not connected with Kireina, so this Chaos is a completely different person, she's one of the first people that were reincarnated in Yggdrasil like Pandemonium
also now that i think about it, this thought process doesnt fit at all with a character that hates to be controlled and desired freedom and to free and save others at all costs, he's more of a revolutionary and someone that fights back, so him thikning slavery is "not so bad, actually" is really dumb and completely breaks the character Elion has built until now
New Cover: Villains. Pandemonium, Father of all Demons. Chaos, Mother of all Miasma and the Chaotic Plane.
Dragon veins are a concept in Feng Shui. It refers to channels of energy flowing through mountain ranges. They are underground channels of Qi. In most cases, it is also implied they channel Spirits and Elements.
Dragon veins are a concept in Feng Shui. It refers to channels of energy flowing through mountain ranges. They are underground channels of Qi. In most cases, it is also implied they channel Spirits and Elements.
Dragon veins are a concept in Feng Shui. It refers to channels of energy flowing through mountain ranges. They are underground channels of Qi. In most cases, it is also implied they channel Spirits and Elements.
hmm, but there's no stopping you for mixing them both, no? you're making these plots and you have a goal, why not put monsters in between, invading creatures, evil players trying to ruin the NPC he's tryint to help, and so on? you could make all these opportunities but you're making things feel rather smooth and relaxed, there's a need for some tension to keep the readers in a grip so they keep reading, but at the end its up to you, you know best
this is a rather relaxed novel, there's been little action so far, despite what the genre usually indicates, have you read any of the popular VR stories? they always start with a lot of action, and usually never stop. This would go to a more slice of life story because you seem more focused on exploring the NPCs and the world building, wihtout enough action to make it easy to digest. try adding more action if possible (and if you want)
i wouldnt say the main character changes, more like there's multiple points of perspective or Multiple POV, that's a deal breaker or a deal maker for some. Though, if you dont want to make it too abnoxious for readers, show these POVs in third person, for some reason they hate it when its in first person, but third person is mostly fine, as long as these POVs aren't longer than a chapter, preferably half a chapter are the best ones, with some of MC's perspective at the end