St_Pat
Every fanfic is wish-fulfilment. Fav. Genre: Grimdark, LitRPG, Reincarnation, Self-insert, Strategy. Fav. MC Char: Amoral, Apathetic, Cunning, Perfectionist, Pragmatic, Ruthless, Scheming, Secretive
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St_Pat1dCommentedCh 2 Chapter 2- St_Pat1dReplied to CubozooTony Stark who was currently working on one of his armor turned angrily and answered. "Rhodes, for the umpteenth time, I didn't make this damn Minecraft!"
- St_Pat16dReplied to Dere_Isaac
Sorry about that. I am just used to distinction between thoughts and dialogues while reading. Anything inbetween double quotations I take it as dialogues/speaking. That's what most authors use to distinguish dialogues. And for thoughts, they use single quotations.
Ch 1 In the Bloody book... - St_Pat16dReplied to Yepaje_13
If so, then I must have misunderstood it for something else. My bad. It's just that, I am so used to the different quotations (single quotation for thought and double quotation for dialogues) use for distinction between thoughts and dialogues/speaking that anything inbetween double quotations I take it as dialogues.
"That's the bloody protagonist Jung Soohyun. I gotta act cold like him if I'm gonna get these girls. Especially the milf. Hehehehehehehehehe," he chuckled like a madman inside his head, then answered the man. "Sure. I guess I need your uniform if I need to look normal, don't I?" - St_Pat16dCommented'The Great Plains of Death is indeed a place no ordinary person can cross. But I have grown tired of it. My patience is running thin. If we don't get to our destination soon, I'll start poisoning the food supply, so that I can at least distract my mind watching people cough up blood as they die...' -Leylin thought in annoyance.
- St_Pat16dCommented
Agreed. When there are Knights and others, so many kills single-handedly seem far-fetched.
[That was a fine scrap. You took a lot of them down, Doctor. I counted 108 direwolves.] - St_Pat16dCommented
Whole chapter was confusing. Can't even tell which are 'thoughts' and 'dialogues'. Why not distinguish both with single and double quotation? It is confusing because, if MC is talking then, why can't anyone beside him hear it. What about movement of mouth? Can't they see it?
Ch 1 In the Bloody book... - St_Pat16dCommented
Is he speaking out loud? If yes, then why can't woman hear him talking? And if this is thought, then you should distinguish between 'thoughts' and 'dialogues'. Maybe use single quotation for thoughts and double quotation for dialogues.
"What? Is that me? That can't be me. Why do I look like I'm five?" He raised his hand to his face and to his amazement, he had small, slightly chubby hands. - St_Pat19dCommented*Title: First Of A Kind*
- St_Pat20dCommented
Too many grammatical mistakes.
We are currently at the balcony of the Airship together, and I see the Heavens Arena City below we are around thirty sixty metres in the air… then I look at Mikasa and I hear her ask. "So where is the rope leader that we will go down with Sensei?" - St_Pat22dCommented
???
"After a brief excursion, I plan on revealing myself. Not only that but I also plan on asserting my control over Mistral fully not just from the shadows. That includes controlling its Military, and its cities. Even its nobles." Salem's voice changed as she spoke again, - St_Pat22dCommented
you are*
Still standing still, Shen said something. "You know for an old man your strong and pretty damn fast." The next moment he twisted his body and heel kicked Xander. Xander's face nit itself together as he was sent flying back, crashing into his desk and breaking it. Lowering his leg, Shen held out his hand. - St_Pat22dCommented
you are*
Torchwick's words made Neo, who was beside him, roll her eyes. "Don't tell me your still mad I made you work with him? You looked like you were having fun." Crossing her arms, Neo didn't look at Torchwick as he shook his head. "Well, no matter, I'm still interested in seeing exactly what he has planned for Argus. He's made it this far, so I doubt he'll disappoint." - St_Pat22dCommented
they?
Blake, who spotted Sienna as well, greeted her respectfully. "Hello, Mam." Although Adam personally hated Sienna, she didn't. "Blake, you've been coming to this base more than you used to. Is there something you need?" Sienna returned to her normal scheming self as Blake diverted her gaze. "I'm… I've been looking for someone, but they don't seem to be around." - St_Pat22dCommented
You are*
Lying inside of an X-Ray machine was Sienna. The X-Ray machine began to power down as she exited it. Walking into a separate room, she was met by a Faunaus Doctor. "From what I can tell, your perfectly fine, Mam. There's no issue with your heart, and the X-Rays don't show anything at all." - St_Pat22dCommented
Grammar is a mess!
"I see your members of the White Fang. I didn't know you operated this far out from your holes in the ground. But I guess animals tend to wonder." Both Torchwick and Neo stared at Shen quietly, expecting him to say something in return. However, Shen instead looked directly towards Torchwick. "Your reputation precedes you or should I just say infamy?" - St_Pat22dCommented
you are*
"I see your members of the White Fang. I didn't know you operated this far out from your holes in the ground. But I guess animals tend to wonder." Both Torchwick and Neo stared at Shen quietly, expecting him to say something in return. However, Shen instead looked directly towards Torchwick. "Your reputation precedes you or should I just say infamy?" - St_Pat22dCommented
?
Shen glanced into space for a moment as he spoke. "Just imagine it. All your hopes and dreams gone, scattered into dust in an instant just by me moving my finger." Shen's hand moved slightly as Sienna felt whatever was around her neck tighten. For the first time in she had forgotten how long she was afraid. - St_Pat23dCommented
Is this 'thought' or 'dialogue/speaking'? Please distinguish between thought and dialogue/speaking. Like use single quotation for thoughts and double quotation for dialogues/speaking.
"That's the bloody protagonist Jung Soohyun. I gotta act cold like him if I'm gonna get these girls. Especially the milf. Hehehehehehehehehe," he chuckled like a madman inside his head, then answered the man. "Sure. I guess I need your uniform if I need to look normal, don't I?" - St_Pat23dCommented
Developing 'morals' in shinobi world when he didn't even have them in his previous world, seems like the dumbest thing. 'Might makes right', 'Kill or be killed', 'Do or die', 'Law of the jungle' are some of the few rules that are BEDROCK of the 'Shinobi' world.
'These men... Each and every one of them could've had families... I may have been technically defending myself, but I still willingly tore away someone precious to someone else...'