Analyzing?

Hiram is his other grandfather. That's William.

Might want to change from ' to " because ' generally means he thinks it while " means he speaks it. Pretty confusing but besides that pretty good so far.

good luck

(Status) would be better

affinity would be better than convergence. Unless it has more meaning later in the story

Change health to vitality

Hermione is an idiot. His parents died and he ran away so she thinks its old Snape? The only thing she knows for sure is that the timeline changed by him resigning from Hogwarts and running away (she doesn't know if his parents died in the previous timeline). Wouldn't it just be a completely different timeline? Genuinely amazed by the sheer stupidity.

no

(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)

*wrote this after just 2 chapters were posted* So far it has been pretty good. The only real complaint I have is the massive amount of misspellings(??). More like using the wrong word for the sentence. Like after you write it you just use autocorrect and don't go back to reread it. Smile instead of small, fore instead of fire, and self instead of shelf just to name a few. Honestly pretty good start so far just correct the spelling. Good luck with this story(I'm not dropping). Thought this meme was relevant.

*disclaimer* only read to chapter 2 as of writing this review. Pros: 1.intersting way of adding system into the story 2.the system is nice and simple(hate overly complicated systems especially talking ones) Cons: 1.quite a few spelling mistakes (not mistakes in diction or anything like that just spelling) 2. hasn't shown the status screen just described it (you can just add it in as a picture in the comments if that makes it easier) Over all I really like it and will be reading it going forward even if the 2 cons aren't fixed/changed. Good luck with this story author. Here's a pic I like.

Future Gohan Maybe? (obviously with an arm)

Jasper and garnet

The nurse seeing* my* state also shed some tears trying to calm* me but I cried for some minutes before* falling* asleep.

I could hear * someone (remove the the)

He is* warm and stable.

voices telling her* to 'push' (it's easier to put a pound sign * instead of typing out what you put after the correction so I'll just write out the right way to do it and a pound sign* after the word or words I changed/added from now on)