Kyrus
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Kyrus5dReplied to Daoist_Dan- Kyrus8dReplied to Mikemaiku
He lazy.
'So I have a user of a long lost kekkei genkai, a genius that replicated the jutsu of a tailed beast, and a talented healer that would probably grow as capable as Chiyo herself. What an infuriating team that Kazekage dropped on me.' sighed Ishito. - Kyrus8dReplied to Charlie_English
That's a weird timeline. Maki, Pakura's student, is about a few years younger than Kakashi.
They often meet up after academy lessons and would always train or spar with one another to help each other improve. He was genuinely surprised to see that Rukia could actually keep up with him and Rasa. Her title as Suna's third prodigy was well deserved in his opinion. She was apparently a genius in chakra control, already capable of sticking to even harder and stronger materials like rocks and pebbles across her body instead of the usual leaf sticking exercise. - Kyrus10dReplied to Drojam"Nope. It isn't that fast and besides, the readers can't wait for you to go to the next world." God muttered as he looked at you.
- Kyrus10dCommented"Hmph, Mr. Henry, when you were discovered to be a mutant, you lost any legal rights," a black muscular man sneered.
- Kyrus10dCommented
*you're too nervous
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*I am grateful for being alive!
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*you would have been a great ninja.
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Never start a sentence with "and".
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relationship*
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Needs capitalization and structure to the paragraph.
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*fully fledged ninja.
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It has promise, but please get an editor or use some editing software.The layout is atrocious and difficult to read. There are many options out there to help you polish your work up a bit. Maybe even try chatGPT to fine tune your work. There is no shame in using AI to do that. Especially if you tell it to properly format your work in novel form. I had to actually force myself to keep reading because of how bad you have the speech arranged.
- Kyrus11dReplied to EisenCrown
- Kyrus11dCommented
She is the goddess of youth/prime of life. She was also the cupbearer for the gods and goddesses of Mount Olympus, serving nectar and ambrosia. Also known as the goddess of forgiveness and/or mercy.
"Ah, my name is Dia. It's a pleasure to meet you." - Kyrus12dPosted
I went in knowing nothing about the game and was interested enough to dive deep into the rabbit hole that is Rain World.What a crazy concept for a game. Not to mention the insane amount of information available in the communities. I ended up watching a two hour documentary about the games fauna and flora... I haven't even played it and I already know so much. Crazy.This novel is worth a try, the game it is based on is so huge and the author seems invested in writing about it. Excellent potential.
- Kyrus12dCommented
Inadvertently insulting her goddess.
Muichiro looked genuinely surprised by this suggestion, causing Alice to clarify, "Women won't actually go crazy over your vibe. Well, 99 percent of them, anyway. There's always that one crazy chick." - Kyrus13dCommentedThe man extended his tongue. "Oh, I can't see it properly. Let me take a closer look." Suddenly, the man's tongue was in Michikatsu's hand, even though Michikatsu stood a couple of feet away.
- Kyrus17dCommented
Your pacing plus long chapters makes a great combination that is very satisfying. Keep it up.
but there are a few key events and interactions I'd like to do that require these 3-4 chapters. Hope the pacing is okay for you guys! Any suggestions in that regard really help! I'm struggling to choose what IS important to convey and what ISN'T.