TheBestSeagull
Wuxia, Game Element and LitRPG Novel fanatic
of reading
616
Read books
He assumend the "worst"
ok lets start with the obvious. - grammar so bad i cant continue to read this. (a pass through grammarly would already help alot i think) - same old vrmmorpg background, which isnt anything bad per se but that with alot of repeating the same thing over and over again just isnt a fun read. - info dump in ch 5, which is just boring af and somewhat obsolete imo, because you just dont have to explain to the readers in sooo much detail what what does. Its enough to get the point acriss in a way that doesnt take a section of text for each stat or ATP or what you call it here. - this tries to reinvent a part the wheel and fails epically... just call your stats STATS and dont come in confusing everyone with ATP or whatever you use here. - oh suprise neighbour anyone? yeah me neither... why not introduce him earlier when the mc is still at his parents home? would give some more background earlier but whatever. now some more of my opinions: - the start of story should have been WAY more detailed! the more small details the better (as long as it isnt annoing. which can be pretty hard to balance but thats what expirience in writing does to you i guess). 10 chapters where the mc is still at his parents would be more like it. - well you can expand my previos point to everything it just all feels a bit rushed. like the author is some 9 year old adhd kiddy with way too much energy who is trying to explain a complicated maths problem. its just not understandable. also that was just a metaphor and isnt meant to be hurtful to anyone! thanks to anyone willing to read my ramblings xD
"more advanced" souds better than "much-advanced"
in the first sentence did you mean long and not strong Author?
So first of all, i cant say how the writing quality is in the later chapters because i just cant bring myself to continue to read. Now with that disclaimer out of the way, lets get to my thoughts about it: - The novel is one of the better ones in its genre. Its a pretty original idea (at least as i can asses that) and its not too rushed. - IT NEEDS EDITING! The reason i cant bring myself to continue to read this is, that some sentences just do not make any sense at all or just arent finished. its sometimes almost as if the novel is just a mediocre MTL... so please Author please edit tgis novel. Maybe most of my issues are fixed if you just run this all through grammarly once, but PLEASE fix them grammar errors!
hippity hoppity your designs are now my property
or you just put quite high in that spot
i really like this novel! although i would have liked to see a bit more romance at the end of the novel its also not a dissapointing ending like some other novels have so its a full 5/5 from me