Can someone explain to me how “punctuation could use some work” seems to be the biggest critique anyone has posted for this? The only paragraphs of this chapter that don’t have some kind of problem are the game loading/start lines at the end. The complete lack of commas in this chapter isn’t the only problem here; there’s also bad sentence structure, no use of contractions, mistakes with tenses, and a few instances of poor word choice. I really hope this dramatically improves in the next couple of chapters, since the premise is really interesting.