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Aenin

Aenin

Lv5
2018-01-29 JoinedUnited States
55.7h

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9

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24
  • Aenin
    Aenin2mth
    Commented

    You really need to work on the grammar. Use a grammar checker or something. Dialogue from different people should be on different lines, not jumbled up into one paragraph. Also, names should be capitalized. Nick Fury not nick fury.

    Ch 59 059 The Mountains And Rain Are Coming!
    altalt
    marvel:Self-Evolution Into superman
    Anime & Comics · write999
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin4mth
    Commented

    Author, you really need to use some spell and grammar checkers. Just using something like Grammarly, and it'll improve your writing immensely. You have a lot of errors all in each chapter, but your story itself is great.

    Ch 50 the battle
    altalt
    The Immortal (twilight fanfiction)
    Movies · Beans_on_a_tree
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin8mth
    Commented

    If you want to improve your writing, don't start sentences with 'and'.

    Ch 1 Chapter 001 – Prologue – Born without a Chance
    altalt
    The Wanderer - A X-Men Crossover Fan-Fiction
    Others · GodOfFreedom
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin1yr
    Commented

    Suicide is for those of weak will. I'd remove that part and just have him be murdered by one of the mutants instead.

    Ch 1 Rebirth [1] - The Price Of Knowledge
    altalt
    Limitless Evolution: The Path To Immortality
    Fantasy · Animosity
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin1yr
    Posted

    I like the story but the translation could use some work. The dialogue contains a lot of multiple paragraphs not formatted properly which makes it difficult to read. Sometimes, words are translated inconsistently. When working with multiple paragraphs of dialogue from a single person, you need to put quotes at the beginning of the paragraph.

    altalt
    Realizing This Is A Wuxia World After Cultivating For 300 Years
    Eastern · Sole Cloud Flying Cave
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin1yr
    Posted

    Wow, I really liked this story until the author just gave up and wrapped up the entire story in one chapter. What the fuck. Why waste our time reading this shit if you're going to drop it? Don't read this as the author gave up on writing it.

    altalt
    I Become Invincible By Signing In
    Urban · Sweet Brand Chewtoy
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin1yr
    Replied to HolyDragon17

    The MC has an immortal cultivation technique. It just starts in a Wuxia world, but that's just a mortal plane amongst the myriad planes of a Xanxia world.

    altalt
    Realizing This Is A Wuxia World After Cultivating For 300 Years
    Eastern · Sole Cloud Flying Cave
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin1yr
    Commented

    What's with the bait and switch, using MTL? Way to ruin this webnovel...

    Ch 41 Chapter 39 - making trouble from within (1)
    altalt
    God-tier Farm
    Urban · Gentleness In A Steel Gun
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin1yr
    Replied to Dragon_ball

    He's already said why he is giving them out. It's just a beginner technique and not that strong. He's expecting to get a lot more stronger cultivation techniques in the future that will maintain him being stronger than everyone else.

    altalt
    I Become Invincible By Signing In
    Urban · Sweet Brand Chewtoy
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin2yr
    Posted

    The grammar on this story needs some work. One glaring issue is that dialogue. The person speaking and what they said are in two different paragraphs. It makes it really hard to tell who is talking.

    altalt
    Infinite Survival: I Can Plunder Passive Skills
    Sci-fi · 8k Dollar
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin2yr
    Commented

    Let's hope he isn't so dumb next time and just kills people who are actively trying to kill him.

    Ch 48 Sued!
    altalt
    Future News: My Phone Mutated
    Urban · Mirage
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin2yr
    Commented

    incantation, not incarnation

    Ch 7 Material
    altalt
    Harry Potter: Dimensional Wizard
    Book&Literature · LazySageDao
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin2yr
    Posted

    Well, that was a fun ride. There were some parts where the story was just pure info and little characterization. Chen Chen was almost 2d where he didn't seem to care about anyone, so that took a little out of the story. I kept getting a Warhammer 40,000 vibe, so I was glad that the end basically spelled out that it is what the story was either based on or an alternate reality of wh40k

    altalt
    I Have A Super USB Drive
    Sci-fi · Darkness Black Bear
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin2yr
    Commented

    Hey translator, why are you splitting up dialogue into paragraphs? This is very odd and it makes it hard to read. Please read up on writing dialogue in English.

    Ch 1 Registering at Kunlun Mountain
    altalt
    My Girlfriend From Turquoise Pond Requests My Help After My Millennium Seclusion
    Eastern · Red Pepper Afraid Of Spicy
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin2yr
    Commented

    You seem to started to write dialogue improperly. I know it's popular with some authors on webnovel who don't understand english, but you seem to be doing well so far. I would avoid writing dialogue with the format of 'name: "text". I've enjoyed your story so far, however, if you continue writing dialogue in such a way, I will have to drop this story.

    Ch 41 Yang Mei'er's Visit
    altalt
    Supreme Grandpa
    Urban · Venerable_Linfeng
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin2yr
    Commented

    You need to call it alchemy and not "the pill".

    Ch 3 Everyone’s Talent
    altalt
    Supreme Grandpa
    Urban · Venerable_Linfeng
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin3yr
    Commented

    Well, that's not a good start. They all have to split up and leave a "heavily" warded castle? Why would they do that instead of waiting for reinforcements. Also, they can all apparate. Why would they have to split up and use brooms? This makes no sense.

    Ch 3 C2 Trust
    altalt
    HP: The Guardian
    Book&Literature · BrownAmerican
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin3yr
    Commented

    your -> you're I would suggest using grammarly to fix some easy spelling or grammar issues.

    Ch 1 Reincarnation..
    altalt
    Swallowing The Spider (Linear)
    Anime & Comics · DragonField
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin3yr
    Commented
    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    HxH: Researcher
    Anime & Comics · VQuintessence
    detail
  • Aenin
    Aenin3yr
    Commented

    You should remove the bit about him closing one of his eyes when shooting. Is he an *******?

    Ch 4 Ambush
    altalt
    MCU: A Man From War
    Movies · Tempestus_Scions
    detail