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D0nk3yK0ng

D0nk3yK0ng

Lv6
2017-09-04 JoinedGlobal
596.1h

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  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng4mth
    Commented

    The author skips over the difficulties of making guns. Like where did the gun powder come from? Make good percussion caps so the cartridge doesn’t misfire? How did the blacksmith know how to make the scope, specifically the lenses? Did the other two guys practice before?

    Ch 37 Firearms
    altalt
    Taking the Mafia to the Magic World
    Fantasy · RVN_1998
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng4mth
    Posted

    The writing, grammar wise, is fairly terrible. It’s all in passive voice, so everything sounds funny. It makes it less enjoyable to read. Honestly it seems to be on purpose to make the word coung longer. Even if English isn’t your first language, you have to actively try to sound like Yoda all the time. I think the wrong tense choice is also because of everything being in passive voice. Grammar aside, the story is wonderful thus far. Interesting magic system and world development. It’s not one size fits all, you have X tiers of power with X subtiers. It seems different enough to stick out, but not unnecessarily complicated just to be different.

    altalt
    Taking the Mafia to the Magic World
    Fantasy · RVN_1998
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng4mth
    Commented

    The passive voice is driving me mad. It’s like Yoda is talking. All. The. Time.

    Ch 6 Back to the Academy and Threats
    altalt
    Taking the Mafia to the Magic World
    Fantasy · RVN_1998
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng5mth
    Commented

    Mixed feelings about this chapter. I think if there was more internal monologue cementing that he isn’t Alex anymore since he can’t even think of his old name and had to be Shang now it would have been better. Instead it’s the author describing what the character feels and thinks instead of the character telling us.

    Ch 51 Chapter 51 – Alex and Shang
    altalt
    Sword God in a World of Magic
    Fantasy · Warmaisach
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng5mth
    Posted

    I like the world building set in medieval times. The protagonist isn’t shielded by plot armor left and right. Side charactes are developed and have a distinct feel. Magic & knight system are kind of glossed over, same with the enemy’s power level. My only big complaint is the over use of rhyming. It started as a distinctive MC trait, and now every other character is doing it. Like characters who were introduced earlier weren’t doing it are now doing it. It’s kind of becoming a detriment to the dialog, because instead of working on different character’s tone it’s become how can I make things rhyme and kind of get my point across.

    altalt
    I Became The Pope, Now What?
    Fantasy · MisterImmortal
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng5mth
    Posted

    The one glaring problem is the author’s issue switching between 1st & 3rd person perspectives randomly. It’ll start with he (Elias) doing something then jumping to I (Elias) am doing something. Does that with other characters. A smaller complaint is the transition between chapters. It makes everything feel disjointed. Everything else is wonderful. The world development is interesting. The magic system isn’t tropey. He doesn’t have plot armor defending him left and right. I like the idea of the runes even if I don’t think they’re named aptly. Norse have runes, but I think India and similar cultures technically use scripts.

    altalt
    The Tellus Mage
    Fantasy · Junethephatcat
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng6mth
    Replied to D0nk3yK0ng

    Should have commented after reading lol

    Chapter10- Continue Refining, Rare Tear!
    altalt
    Sacrifice's Rise: I Became Invincible After Entering Godslayer Temple
    Fantasy · White_Ink
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng6mth
    Commented

    Tier

    Chapter10- Continue Refining, Rare Tear!
    altalt
    Sacrifice's Rise: I Became Invincible After Entering Godslayer Temple
    Fantasy · White_Ink
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng6mth
    Commented

    Good story so far. Not tropey. Grabs your interest. You need an editor though, the grammar is pretty bad. Wrong tenses & run on sentences.

    Ch 1 Prologue
    altalt
    Miracle Card Shop: All My Cards Can Be Actualize
    Urban · RavenClaw471
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng1yr
    Posted

    The story itself is rather enjoyable. Rather quick paced with very little to no filler. He basically gets a day of rest before he needs to go back into action. The universe isn’t overly unique, but still fairly developed. The side characters aren’t super devloped. They feel more like place holders while the MC does his thing. The most glaring issues are the terrible grammar and continuity. Plural and conjugation errors abound. Definitely in need of a proofreader. People and things are spelt one way then changed mid chapter. And then there are random ramblings interjected in the middle of the story for no explicable reason. Final thoughts: interesting without the usual tropes of most cultivation novels. Which this is, it’s just set in space with science and technology.

    altalt
    Ace Of Terrans
    Sci-fi · THE_WORDSMITH
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng1yr
    Commented

    You said a week-ish, but still radio silence. Hope you’re feeling better and it’s not too serious.

    Ch 2034 Golden Knight (Part 2)
    altalt
    Supreme Magus
    Fantasy · Legion20
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng1yr
    Commented

    R&R, feel better

    Ch 2034 Golden Knight (Part 2)
    altalt
    Supreme Magus
    Fantasy · Legion20
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng1yr
    Commented

    Enjoy your coma.

    Ch 1978 Becoming a Magus (Part 4)
    altalt
    Supreme Magus
    Fantasy · Legion20
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng1yr
    Commented

    Bye! Enjoy your break.

    Ch 1958 The Die is Cast (Part 2)
    altalt
    Supreme Magus
    Fantasy · Legion20
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng1yr
    Posted

    Updated from my previous review now that I’ve read all the free chapters. The grammar doesn’t get any better. There are “paragraphs” of just run on sentences. The author definitely needs an editor. Now that the Gender Bender is a permenate thing, Marcus just coasts through being a girl like nothing is different at all. There’s a modicum of it when he has to learn how to wear underwear and a dress, but mostly it’ background until he offends someone and they’re pissed off he’s a girl.

    altalt
    Transmigrated as a Ghost
    Fantasy · MegaC
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng1yr
    Posted

    Just started, but it needs to be said that the grammar is terrible. The fisst 3 chapters have been edited, but they still read awkwardly. Too many commas and run ons. Like they had a bunch of run ons in the first place and tried to fix it by adding commas in weird places instead of rewriting the sentences. I do enjoy the use of the Oxford comma though, it is nice when they list various things and has it there.

    altalt
    Transmigrated as a Ghost
    Fantasy · MegaC
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng2yr
    Commented

    Is no one going to mention the last name change? Or that his mother’s age changed?

    Ch 2 There Are Another 90 Eggs Just Like This
    altalt
    My Fusion System: Fusing a Thousand Chickens at the Start
    Fantasy · Snow Over A Thousand Hills
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng2yr
    Commented

    Sword Ki or Qi

    Ch 25 A Mortal Is the Owner of the God of Heaven Mountain
    altalt
    Disciple, Don't Cause Trouble, Master Won't Leave the Mountain!
    Eastern · Abundance Every Year
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng2yr
    Posted

    Overall the story is great. Distinct characters with their own voices. The antagonists are a little cookie cutter, always, “Who is this nobody? I’m the greatest”. The universe is interesting, though still filled with mystery. The only complaint I really have is that grammer needs work.

    altalt
    Second World
    Games · UnrivaledArcaner
    detail
  • D0nk3yK0ng
    D0nk3yK0ng2yr
    Posted

    It had a lot of potential, but it got sloppy at the end. The author uses his own vocabulary a lot, so many characters end up sounding the same tonally. For instance, every character at one point says something go the effect, “stupid amount o….” or “stupid hard/crazy”. The character developemnt stagnates and there’s a bunch of filler of him grinding skills that don’t do anything plot wise other than his word count.

    altalt
    Unlimited Power - The Arcane Path (COMPLETED)
    Fantasy · ExSoldierLv99
    detail