Panic Attack

I coughed hysterically and opened my eyes, immediately feeling a sting as it started to burn.

I was drenched in sweat and there was a thick smoke in the room, I couldn't see anything.

Fire burned the walls all around me, moving like a raging monster. I was scared and all alone and I just wanted my mummy and daddy.

I held my teddy to my chest as tears started to flow, making it even harder to see but what scared me the most were the screams I heard coming from outside.

"Mummy? Daddy?". I called out over and over again. Each time, louder than the last.

"MUMMY!!!"

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"Doctor! I think she is waking up!" I went to the door and shouted.

Immediately, a nurse came in to check and few seconds later, the doctor followed.

I stood at a corner waiting, moving my weight from one feet to the other. I was agitated, I really hoped the movements she had made meant she was waking up, finally.

My phone vibrated in my back pocket and I took it out. Answering the call, I place the phone to my ear and said hello without looking. I just couldn't take my eyes off kendra.

"Sweet heart, how is she? Any changes?" Mom asked.

"Oh, mom. It's you. I-- I think she is waking up. She started moving all of a sudden so I called the doctor in. She is checking on her now.

"Okay, that's good honey. You did good and I'm sure the worst is over now". Dad said.

"I don't know dad, she just couldn't breath all of a sudden. The doctor said it was a severe case of panic attack, it happened so fast. I don't know dad".

"Calm down sweetie, she will be fine". He said, reassuringly.

"Hello Miss Kendra, welcome back" The doctor said and relief washed over me. "What is the last thing you remember?" The doctor asked.

"I gotta go dad, update you guys later" I hung up then moved closer, to the other side of the bed.

"Where I'm I?" Kendra asked looking around, till her eyes found me. She didn't have any problems with movement, just looked like she had just woke up.

"Zie? Am I in a hospital? What happened?" She asked and I had no idea how to answer. So, I looked at the doctor and she took the initiative to explain.

"Yes Kendra, you are in the hospital. You fainted from a severe case of panic attack and your friend here--" she gestured to me "--brought you here. Now, can you tell me the last thing you remember?"

"Okay. Ummm.... Zie was on the phone with her parents when they asked to speak with me. I was just about to, I remember them saying hello to me but...but... I remember now. It was like I couldn't breath. I was so scared..." She recounted, spacing out. Her hand reached out and grabbed mine, hold it tightly.

The doctor looked at me and I nodded my head, confirming what Kendra just said.

"Very good Kendra, can you tell me how many times you have experienced this?" The doctor asked.

"I used to have them when I was much younger but it's been years since and I thought I simply outgrew it". Kendra responded.

"Well Kendra, I'll be referring you to our psychiatrist". The doctor informed her and Kendra's face contorted.

"Don't worry, it does not mean anything serious--" she quickly added when she saw the look on Kendra's face. "--it's just routine, considering it was a severe case of panic attack, nothing unusual". She turned to me...

"One or two more hours and she should be good to go home" she gave some instructions to the nurse then left.

I had questions and wanted to run after the doctor but Kendra was still holding unto me. I bent over her and whispered, removing stray hairs from her face.

"I'll be right back, okay? Just need to sort out some things. I won't be long". I said, gently removing my hand from hers. At first she refused but eventually, she let go with a nod.

I went out and looked all around but there was no sign of the doctor.

I had to ask the nurse so, I went back into the room.

"Nurse? Where can I find the doctor?" I asked her.

"Towards the exit, second to the last door". She replied and I ran for it, I did not want to be away from Kendra for too long.

Getting there, I opened the door and walked in. She was behind her desk, working on her computer.

"Doctor? I just need clarification on some things". I told her.

"Please sit" she gestured towards the chair before her desk and I sat down".

I didn't know where to start so, I just blurted out the first thing in my head.

"Doctor, will she be alright?" I needed to be sure.

"Yes she will be fine, you have nothing to worry about now. She just needs some more time and she'll be back on her feet, good as new".

Hearing it from the doctor like this, caused another wave of relief to wash over me.

"Okay, I'm relieved but, what is severe panic attack?". I asked.

"Well, a panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions, even when there is no real danger or apparent cause. Sometimes, it can be triggered by a memory or meeting someone that is connected to their object or cause of fear, or even anxiety that brings back those fears. Fact is, there is always a trigger". She answered.

"What causes it and can it be cured?"

"The cause of panic attack is psychological. It's usually a psychological trauma that has created an impression, so deep that memories f it brings fear and anxiety, thereby leading to panic attacks. The only cure is to work through the psychological trauma, which is the reason why I am referring your friend to a psychiatrist". She explained.

"Well, what can I do, can it be maybe managed?"

"Some people get panic attacks which goes away in a little while with the help of some learnt techniques but in some cases, it's so severe that they faint almost immediately it starts. Just like Kendra's case. So, if it does happen again, bring her in right away ".

I sat there and just took all in all she said.

From what she explained and I understood now, Kendra's panic attack is very sever and it was triggered by something yesterday but it was just me and her so what could have triggered it? Perhaps I could ask her...

"I am Angela, and you?" She asked.

"Call me Zie" I simply replied.

"Okay Zie, you looked like you were thinking hard about something. Do you know what may have triggered it?" She asked, trying to get in my head.

When I did not respond, she continued, "It would make treating her a whole lot easier if the psychiatrist had this basic information".

I smiled and replied, "Doctor, I just became her room mate today. Before today, I didn't even know she her. How could I possibly know what triggered it? I'm just trying to learn as much as possible". I stood up to leave.

"Thank you doctor, for being patient with me and explaining things to me". I said then left.

I felt unhappy with the fact that Kendra was so scared of something, and feared it to the point that it affected her like this. I may have just met her but I wanted to help so bad and I didn't know how.

"Hey, I was just looking for you". Someone suddenly said behind me, making me stop and turn...

"Oh hi... Uhhh.... I'm sorry, I forgot your name" I said when I saw who it was.

"It's Daniel, and I didn't give you my name before". He said

"You didn't? Right, you didn't". I asked and answered like an idiot.

I wasn't in the mood for this or any conversation. I just wanted to go check how Kendra was doing.

"Are you going to tell me your own name?" He asked, smiling in a way that made him look way hotter than he already was.

What I'm I thinking? ...and did I just call him hot?

I hoped I wasn't blushing cause' that would have just been too embarrassing.

Moreover, I really couldn't be thinking about this right now, maybe later though. Still, I couldn't help but smile which I quickly hid by looking down.

"Yeah, it's Ziela but nobody calls me that. Call me Zie and thank you so so much for helping to carry her. She is awake now by the way...". I replied.

"She is? That's a relief. Guess you're headed back to her now?". He asked, his face showing seriousness and I knew what he would ask next. So, I beat him to it.

"Yes, I need to check on her now and would have invited you along but, she kinda won't be able to deal right now. Later?"

I rhetorically ask, walking away, not necessarily waiting for an answer. I knew we would meet again, something told me we most definitely would. He didn't seem the type to just, back off.

"Yeah, later and cool name by the way!" he shouted after me, bringing out that smile again. I just couldn't stop it, my face seemed to have a mind of its own.

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KENDRA

The nurse left and I was finally all alone, I just needed some space to sort my head out.

I had questions, questions that I needed answers to yet, clearly too scared to prod them.

It had been a while since I had one of these attacks so why now? Why last night? And this dream, why did I have to have it now?

I had terrible nightmares about it a long time ago but they finally stopped. I didn't want to go through that again, the bad memories and the series of shrink sessions.

I'd rather just gladly kill myself than do all that again.

Tired of laying on my back, I turned to my side, facing the door. I was sorting some more of my thoughts when the door opened and Zie came into the room smiling.

Her head was bent low so she didn't notice me looking at her.

"Hey" I said to get her attention. She looked up and stopped, surprised. Her smile instantly faded and was immediately replaced with concern.

"Don't let it go on my account" I said as she shut the door and came to my bedside.

"Let what go?" She asked. She placed her hand on my head, probably checking for a fever.

"Expected you to be asleep but you look pretty much normal. Not one sign that you had fainted and only just woken up a little while ago".

Her eyes scanning my face for maybe signs of tiredness or something out of place? She worried way too much.

"Hey, I'm not sick. I only had a panic attack but I'm just fine so, chill". I said, removing her wondering hands from my body.

"...and don't treat me like I'm fragile or that I need help and constant watching. Don't do that. Reminds me of my mother and right now I just need a friend. Please?"

I couldn't take playing the role of patient again.

She studied me for a bit then said, "You scared me, I was really worried".

"I know but it was just a one-off thing. I'm fine, promise".

"Okay". She simply said and in an instant, her mood changed like she wasn't just worried few seconds ago.

I like this girl.

"So, are you gonna tell me?" I asked.

"Tell you what" She looked confused.

"Why you were smiling like that when you walked in or rather, who made you smile like that". I replied smiling.

"What makes you thing there was a who?" She asked and I could see she was trying to keep a straight face but failed and she too started smiling.

"Mmmm...?"

"What? Okay fine, there was a boy. Maybe not a boy. Okay there was a guy but we met again on my way back from the doctor's office".

"Again?" I asked, suddenly more interested.

"Yes again. When you fainted, I couldn't carry you so I went out and grabbed the first guy I saw in the hallway and that was the first time I met him. He came to check up on you and I was just thanking him, that's all" She explained

Yet another person that was now aware of my problem and I was so not happy about that but I didn't let it show.

"I guess I would need to thank him too, but doesn't change the fact that you like him and don't even think about denying it but let me give you an advice". I said, sitting up.

"You are new here, only just arrived. Don't be quick to jump on the first boat you see, those usually are the fastest routes to disappointments. Just take your time, test the waters, try different boats, eventually you will find the boat that's going the same direction you are going". I stood up, suddenly feeling suffocated.

"What are you doing?" She asked, surprised to see me stand up.

"I'm leaving, we are leaving. I don't want to be here for another second more". I said, almost whining. Hospitals brought back really bad memories for me.

"Maybe we should wait, the doctor would be by to release you soon".

Her voice was etched with worry and the concern she wore before was back again.

I sat back down, my mood plummeting.

I thought this could work but clearly it couldn't. No one that has ever found out about my condition, has ever treated me like anything but a sick person that needed help.

I thought she would be different, I thought the universe placing us together was a sign but maybe not.

I could just leave, I did not need her consent or whatever but I hoped that for once, I wouldn't be alone. Someone would have my back.

I had just made up my mind to leave when she suddenly grabbed her stuff and took my hand.

"Fuck it, let's go" she said and I jumped off the bed and followed her, excitedly.

We started walking fast so no one would stop us.

"Bill?"she asked.

"Insurance" I replied and she nodded.

"You do a lot of fishing, don't you?" She asked again.

"Yup, whenever I'm back home".

"That explains your very weird analogy before". She said, her face turned up like she was thinking of something.

"I swear all I heard were boats and water" she said again and we both started laughing.

"Excuse me miss" a female voice called from behind.

Maybe the nurse that treated me before? We didn't bother to check.

"Miss?" She called out again and Zie turned to me and said...

"This is the part where we run".

She let go off my hand and we both started running.

In no time, we were running out the door and out of the massive hospital. Yet, we didn't stop running. Not because we were being pursued but because it was fun, so much fun.

So, we ran.

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SOMEWHERE OUT THERE

"Hello Rothaire"

Rothaire looked up and was surprised to see Lucian standing at a corner.

"Lucian! A bit unusual I must say, to see you out and about".

"I know, but I had to. I'm running out of time brother".

Rothaire sighed deeply. Hearing how weak his brother sounded pained his heart.

"I'm sorry but your love made it so she could never be found by anyone till she turned eighteen. You know we tried but it was just impossible. Patience brother, it's almost time and soon we will hear the verdict". Rothaire said, examining his brothers features. He was really not doing too good.

"Don't call her that" he snapped and I grinned. It always got to him.

"Anyway, you remember the plan right? We must kill her so that I can become myself again!" Lucian said angrily, and the temperature in the room dropped, making it cold. Too cold.

"Calm down brother, everything is going according to plan".

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