Christmas Chapter (2023) (1)

Yello~

This was just a fun chapter before the actual chapter since it isn't actually done so enjoy for now.

This was the prototype of Yozakura: Termite, the first written. Behold on your unworthy eyes~!

Anyways this is just something to 'eat' before the two chapters coming up.

Enjoy~

~~~~

What is the point of life?

A question so widely asked yet no agreed upon answer to be found.

Of course there are some answers such as "The point of life is to find a purpose" and yes while that is true in my personal opinion it is all about 3 things: circumstance, angle viewed, and thought process.

Then let me ask you another question. What is the point of 'Art'. It is to find a purpose, no?

My thought process changed when I saw something. Doesn't this happen to everyone though? If you get into a car accident you may get trauma but in my point of view 'trauma' is the way a brain protects itself. After something life threatening it must adapt so that it will never be in that kind of danger again. Don't take my word for it though I'm not some kind of neuroscientist. 

Most if not all people normally don't think about their brain that much. But how could that be? It's what makes us 'human' after all, not something that lives off of instinct like animals.

I'm getting sidetracked. Let's go back to the question of 'What is the point of 'Art'?' My answer would be that it gives perspective of life. That is what Art is after all. The maker of the 'Art' gives it a meaning and the viewers interpret the 'Art'. In essence it is the perspective of life of the maker through 'Art'.

Usually I wouldn't monolog like this however ever since waking up to this 'place' my entire thought process changed.

Death was a regular. It would come and go reaping the lives of those unfortunate enough to meet its path. I of course found a way to 'cheat' death. If not I would have been one of those unfortunate.

How many were there when this all started? I'm pretty sure they said it was 1000 exactly. Now looking around I only see around 100…

Hah… How crazy. In a month 900 kids died here.

When I first awoke it was in a modern slave market. That was the first, I'm sure of it. This was where my little 'world' collapsed.

At first I thought I was kidnapped but that wasn't right. After all, I could easily make that conclusion due to the fact that I now had 2 sets of memories. So just like any other Otaku from my past life I came to the conclusion of reincarnation.

But why?

I don't want this. I never did. I was a consumer of the media, not the media itself. After all, who would want to become entertainment? If I was unknowing that would have been fine but I know of the genre.

The tests were nothing I thought they would be. Once at every end of the week we would need to fight and kill another child. The remaining kids would be trained until they fight another kid at the end of the week.

By the first week 500 kids died.

By the second week 750 kids died.

By the third week 875 kids died.

By the last week only 100 kids remained. Out of the 1000 kids that started out only 100 kids remained… The last 25 were taken somewhere else. Most likely to kill them but who knows? Maybe these psychopaths need human experiments to test on.

In this 'experiment' as they call it there were 10 people leading it, all with varying personalities. Each one of them is what I view as the pinnacle of human evil. 

But… At this point… What is evil?

Good and bad. Yin and Yang. Heaven and Hell. All depictions of what 'good' and 'bad'. But in its truest form. What is 'good' and 'bad'? 

Depending on the person the meaning can change drastically. However my personal opinion is that for 'humans' 'good' is something that helps humanity further progress and not hinder it. 'Bad' would be things such as natural disasters, murderers, and anything that hinders humans is considered 'bad'.

However for a moment let's play a little experiment. Imagine where murder helps advance humanity. Someone lets say… reincarnates in this world and tries to survive. What do you think will happen? The clashing worldviews would destroy the person that reincarnated and thus die. After all, in this 'world' murder helps humanity progress and thus in my point of view would be the 'good' in that world. Everything that hinders this progress would be 'bad' things such as firefighters, police, law, order, etc… And even this 'worlds' view on 'heros'... 

I used to be such an innocent person.

Striving for a law degree and graduation to make my parents proud.

Oh how much I wished for those days to never end, but fate had decided to make my life a living hell. Can I even call this hell? I don't even know anymore. The things I thought that used to be simple are now all abstract and incomprehensible. 

I read a book once. I read it because a character I liked was based on it. I now feel very much like him…

The main character felt like he was an outlier from the people around him. He didn't feel hungry yet ate food. Didn't understand emotion yet tried to 'feel'. He felt too much different from the people around and made himself a fool in order to fit in.

Did you guess the character yet? 

It was a book called "No Longer Human". The main character's name was "Oba Yozo". The character I liked was Osamu Dazai from Bungo Stray Dogs.

I'm now glad I read that book. At the time I only read the book because it was used as a base for 'Osamu Dazai', so I pushed through reading it. But now I can sympathize with the main character.

This place has twisted me into something that can't even be called a 'human' anymore.

I sometimes wonder in this place why I keep fighting for my life. I no longer understand anything and have nothing to fight for except this pitiful excuse of a life. I wonder how it would feel to be dead. It must be so liberating. So... free…

When fighting the other kids I sometimes gave up… Yet the moment I did I just fought harder than before. Why? In my mind I know I should just let go. But in my heart, hope is there, blooming, making me fight.

The imbalance between the two makes me feel like my existence is being ripped apart. 

Yet I continue on.

*

*

*

"......."

The atmosphere was dark and the silence was suffocating but all the people in this room were used to it.

No one made a move as everyone had their own thoughts to sift through.

The room was dark with only 12 people in it. 5 on each side of an oval table with a scientist presenting, along with a computer showing a video call with a puffy white haired man. The only other notable thing would be a glass box filled with black gas.

"Begin."

"Yes Doctor." The scientist replied with a bow.

"As you all know the first phase of the 10th trial has ended…"

"With it we have found one. However, we do not know if he will be able to match your standards."

"Hah? Just pull up his profile instead of wasting our time."

"Yes Combat"

A document was shared with all ten of the people leading this experiment along with the additional person.

A code number, image of his looks, background, and what he has achieved so far was displayed on the document.

"... How long was this first phase again?" 

"It was exactly from March 17 to April 17 which is today Knowledge."

"... I see…"

"What do the rest of you think?"

"Is he the one?"

Doctor asked the other nine with a clear tone.

"Hmm~ How about we make this a bit more fun with a vote?" Trick with a clear intent to fill his boredom asked the others.

"If this meeting doesn't end by the allocated time given, I will leave."

With a serious tone, Doctor replied to Trick's antics.

"Boooo~! What a buzzkill! Come on! Raise your hands if you vote that he should be the one!"

The first to raise their hand was Knowledge.

"For what reason did you raise your hand Knowledge?"

Makoto Kawashita or another known as the leader of the criminal organization Tanpopo was the one who funded this 'experiment'. 

"He has the potential and his feats are nothing to scoff at. Especially when it seems that his body has a talent for adapting."

"Hmm. I see."

His talent reminds me of one of the Yozakuras… A random thought came to his mind while listening to the others opinions on the matter.

"How about the rest of you?" Makoto asked the others with a palm resting on his face.

"If that means Lord Giga and Shion Yozakura die then I have no qualms." Data replied with an irritated tone while she bit her finger nails.

"Ah haha… Right you were here for revenge… I forgot…" 

Another raised their hand. From Makoto's experience he was the most elusive out of the 10. A man whose code name was his name. 

Technician.

"Oh! Why did you raise your hand Technician?"

With a small upwards of his lips on the man's face he said, "Just a gut feeling."

Over the course of the next 10 minutes arguing amongst peers was happening in front of his eyes.

Just like always the conversation somehow led to Combat and Neuro constantly arguing on whose philosophy was better to live by.

The rest were just waiting for this fiasco to end.

At some random time Makoto had brought out a whiteboard and started doodling on it with a black marker.

"Ah! You're not listening, are you Makoto-sama!"

Combat roared at Makoto

"Actua-"

"Oh! Wait, Makato-sama, please end this debate! Whose philosophy is better? Me or that gangster wannabe!" 

Neuro cut off Makoto

At this point Makoto was sweating buckets at the amount of pressure directed to him. While this man could be scary when he wanted to. The rest of the time he was a laid back pushover.

"P-please calm down everyone. Stop looking at me like that! I'm supposed to be your superior right!?"

"So who is it!?"

Both Combat and Neuro yelled for an answer.

Bleep!

In the end Makoto ended the video call with a small Gif of a white flag waving.

Doctor looked over to his watch on his hand.

For a brief moment he stared at his watch. He then suddenly got up and left the meeting room.

Technician looked over to the electronic clock on the wall.

Punctual as always

He thought with a slight amusement.

The exact moment when he left the room was the exact second the meeting ended.

At least we got all the votes this time

The final score was 5 yes, and 5 neutral.

*

*

*

"#0731 Follow me."

A soldier. He (She?) was equipped with all sorts of weapons.

I knew it was going to take a while to reach the place where I'll be training at so I immersed myself into my thoughts again.

.

. .

. . .

Oba Yozo. 

If I could explain his life in a short and brief description it would be this: 

Some people just aren't meant to escape the abyss… The harder you try to escape, the deeper the abyss pulls you back in.

In some ways I could relate. His feelings and my feelings were almost the same.

I (unlike him) had a clear idea of what 'happiness' and 'joy' were. Perhaps it's because of that, that I no longer understood what they were. My mind now questioned everything. From why I was here to what my existence even was.

. . . 

. .

.

Cha chink! 

A heavily thick metal door opened up.

"Please come in."

A kind (?) voice asked of me.

What greeted me was a man. A man whose whole existence was filled with mystery.

I have seen him a couple of times. 

Technician. 

I eyed my surroundings. A dark room with only 2 chairs and a table.

I sat across Technician.

"Hello there #0731. How are you today?"

I analyzed him. He was a fairly tall man around 6'0'' with (almost) closed eyes.

"I'm doing fine, Professor Technician. Thank you for asking."

There were all sorts of lessons in this place meant for all sorts of subjects. However they mostly revolved around fighting and assassination techniques. But they also taught things such as etiquette and disguises.

"Nothing you want to ask #0731? This is the first time we've talked after all."

"No sir."

"... I see."

His small welcoming smile turned into a small frown. Did he expect something from me? If it means my survival questions can be asked later.

"Well I'm sorry to say this #0731 but this must be done."

What is he talking about?

I blinked. I sometimes wonder to this day (even though I know how he did it), if I hadn't blinked would this have never happened?

I looked down. My arms were trapped. They were held with straps. The same for my legs.

When did this happen?

I thought back to when this might have happened. The only possible explanation would be when I came in. Otherwise I would have noticed the chair equipped with the straps. 

"Oh! You don't seem very surprised do you?"

"..."

I just stared.

"Hmm~ Well it doesn't matter."

"Start the procedure!"

Cha chink! 

"Well… It was nice meeting you #0731 but I must get going…"

Slowly the sounds of his footsteps gradually become quieter.

However, what came in exchange for that I will never forget.

Rattle! Rattle! 

Chains. I never knew how they could even capture her. She was an anomaly. The antithesis of what a human being should be in all forms…

Her very presence is poison in its truest form…

I could tell…

What I went through during this one month was not even a speck of dust compared to her.

My eyes instinctively closed. I didn't know why but my instincts sure did. I knew… Once I see what this abomination is, any hope for change would be impossible. 

I started moving. It was like having a spasm, I was violently moving trying to get away from her… But it came to no avail.

Cough! Cough!

It's like suffocation. The air was so wrong that my body would rather die than be in this presence any longer.

Plop!

She was across from me…

.

. .

. . .

I once read about a certain character.

It was a manga. Now that I think about it, I guess I was a bit cracked even in my past life. 

The manga was a mystery one that focused on a young adult called by the police to interrogate a murderer to get info on how to stop a bunch of lunatics from copying the work of the murderer.

Truly it was one of my favorites. The ending was also satisfactory and in its own way it taught a lot about humans in general.

My situation right now reminded me a lot of the manga.

If I remember correctly, the meeting of the main character and the murderer was also somewhat similar to what I am going through right now.

Isn't it interesting?

I want to see! 

No I don't…

I Want To See!!

NO I DON'T

I WANT TO SEE!!!

I can't…

Just why?

Why did this have to happen to me?

Ah

AH

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The pain wouldn't stop.

It never would stop…

My eyes opened to a picturesque scene that for a moment, just a moment, made me forget the pain I was in.

The whole room was filled with some type of black gas that came from her.

She was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. Everything was perfect about her, from her face to her body everything was proportioned to perfection.

But…

What was it?

Something just… felt wrong.

So wrong…

What was it?

The black gas?

No…

Her hair?

No…

Her eyes?

Getting warmer…

Her nose?

Getting closer…

Her mouth?

Closer…

… Her face??

Ah.

A quote from No Longer Human: 'I think that even a death mask would hold more of an expression, leave more of a memory. That effigy suggests nothing so much as a human body to which a horse's head has been attached. Something ineffable makes the beholder shudder in distaste. I have never seen such an inscrutable face on a man.'

The horror of such an indescribable face that contains all the evils of mankind. It's a face which cannot be described but a face which one would know is wrong.

I stared at the face of such contradictions. My mental fortitude, a partner which I had full trust in throughout the first phase, was now a paper wall in front of this contradiction.

I couldn't pull my gaze from her.

This walking, living, breathing thing had a kind of enrapturing aura. Beneath all the ugliness was a kind of beauty that gave a kind of enraptured feeling that made the viewer appreciate the view. An ugly beauty so to say.

However because of that my mind was cracking and slowly disappearing.

If I wait any longer then I will turn into a feral beast, one without any rational thinking, the opposite of what a 'human' is.

I made myself pass out. By cutting my blood flow to my brain or in other words choking myself till I passed out I was able to buy some time.

But at what cost?