3. Radio Silence

In which it's a miracle Adrien hasn't died of dehydration due to all the crying.

Adrien tapped his fingers impatiently on the armrest, gazing out the window and looking at the drops of rain slide down the glass.

Nathalie had initially refused Adrien's request to be taken to the hospital, what with the threat of Demoman and the rain pouring outside looming, but one quick call to his father imploring for his understanding had quickly solved that problem. Gabriel's eyes had even softened at his son's plea, a rare sight, and even urged Nathalie to not delay Adrien's visit any longer.

Adrien had hopped eagerly into the limo, urging the Gorilla to step on it.

Seeing that they were alone in the backseat, Tikki poked her head out of the neck of Adrien's jacket.

"Are we there yet?" she whispered, looking around apprehensively.

"Almost, just a minute or two to go." he whispered back.

Tikki nodded and hid back in the folds of the coat.

Adrien swallowed nervously. The news playing on the screen on the dashboard in front of him kept asking for Chat Noir and Ladybug's whereabouts, noting their blatant absence and even questioning if they had both been defeated by Demoman. What made his insides squirm even more was the reporter posing the question of whether or not Ladybug had made it out of the encounter at all, all the while replaying the horrible clip of the battle where she was last seen.

He tried to focus his mind elsewhere before he got sick again, setting his eyes on the road. They kept driving past streets that had been closed off by police, as the roads ahead had been destroyed by the Akuma. He lost count of all the shortcuts Gorilla had had to take, and he tried not to think about what awaited him in the near future. With Ladybug indisposed, he'd had to fight the Akuma alone. He couldn't suppress a shudder, and he felt a comforting pat on his chest. No doubt from Tikki; Plagg wasn't that empathetic.

At last, the tall and gray facade of the hospital's emergency unit came into view. The limo had barely pulled up to the sidewalk when Adrien jumped out the door and rushed into the lobby, quickly dialing Alya's number. A set of quick directions from Alya and an elevator later, he found himself in the hallway to the waiting room.

He stalled at the door, his hand lingering on the doorknob. Suddenly, he felt inadequate, like he didn't belong. Behind the door was Alya, sure, but so were Marinette's parents, Tom Dupain and Sabine Cheng. Something about that realization made him get cold feet.

How could he face them?

"What are you waiting for?" Plagg complained suddenly from the folds of his jacket, "Go inside, Tikki is getting anxious."

"Is something wrong, Adrien?" Tikki asked gently, popping up beside Plagg.

"I-I don't know." He said, "I feel… like I shouldn't be here."

"It's in your head, kid," Plagg scoffed, "Get in!"

"Her parents are in there…" Adrien argued.

Tikki looked at him blinking in confusion, her eyes turned sad as she seemed to realize something. Whatever that realization was though, she didn't express it and instead shook her head..

"Plagg is right, there's nothing to worry about…" Tikki said reassuringly, "But Adrien, I'd like to talk to you later, if that's okay?"

"Uh, okay…" Adrien said, raising an eyebrow questioningly. He then braced himself with an intake of breath. "Alright guys, hide."

Both Kwami slipped under the neck of his coat and, after mustering enough courage, Adrien grabbed the doorknob and pushed the door open.

What he saw was nothing short of what he expected; The small room felt depressing and heavy with tension. Light subdued by rain filtered through the only window in the room, giving it a gloomy feel. Sabine sat on a chair, her face flushed and tear-stained as she dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief. Tom sat beside her, an arm around her petite shoulders, the other rubbing soothing circles on the top of her hand. Their eyes were glassy and red with dark rings around them, their frames hunched and tired. He found a similar expression on Alya as she turned away from the window and saw him standing in the doorway.

"Adrien…" Alya said, her voice tired.

Everyone turned to look at him and for a moment Adrien wished the earth would swallow him whole. He suddenly wanted to run away, break down somewhere, and just pass out to make this end.

"H-hey…" he choked.

"Adrien," Tom said softly, rising from his seat to greet him and smiling a little despite himself. "It's nice to see you, son."

"Likewise, Monsieur Dupain." Adrien said politely, offering his hand as Marinette's father approached him.

"Tom will do." Tom replied with a chuckle, shaking Adrien's hand and patting him on the back.

Adrien then turned to Marinette's mother, his heart squeezing painfully.

"Madame Cheng." he said inclining his head in respect. Sabine also attempted a tearful smile, reaching out to him with her arms.

"Come," she said gently, her voice low and weak.

Adrien obeyed without hesitation, moving closer to her and kneeling before her so she wouldn't have to stand up to greet him. He gasped in surprise when she suddenly pulled him into a warm hug, softly stroking the back of his head. "Thank you for coming, Adrien. We really appreciate it. I'm sure Marinette would be happy to see you, too."

Adrien fought the incoming sting behind his eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat as he returned the embrace. "Of course," he said, his breath catching. He squeezed Sabine gently and pulled back, bowing his head again. "I'm so sorry… about all of this."

There was no way they could know he was Chat, but he felt like apologizing anyway. Apologizing for not being good enough; for not protecting their daughter like he should've.

Tom shook his head "It will be okay. She is a fighter," he said, his smile quivering, "We'll get through this."

Adrien didn't know how to ask. He wanted to know, but was afraid to know, afraid to acknowledge the severity of the situation. He swallowed thickly, his mouth suddenly dry.

"H-how is Marinette doing…?" he managed.

Tom opened his mouth, but hesitated, closing it again. Sabine's chin trembled, and she looked down at her hands.

"I'll update him," Alya interrupted, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "Let's talk on the way down. Would you like something from the café, Mme. and M. Dupain-Cheng?" she asked Marinette's parents.

"We are fine Alya, thank you." Tom said, eyes softening. "Go get some fresh air. Thanks for being there for Marinette."

"Anytime." She said with a small smile, "We'll be right back. You have my number if you need anything." She hooked Adrien's arm in hers and dragged him with her as she closed the door behind them.

She released his arm and they walked down the hallway, taking the elevator. She was silent the whole way down to the lobby, her eyes trained on her sneakers, but Adrien was okay with it. He didn't know what to say and he preferred to wait till Alya was ready to talk before asking anything. For someone who had seen the horrid, bloodied state of her best friend, Alya was holding herself pretty straight and composed. Adrien was really impressed by her fortitude. He wished he was that strong.

They reached the first floor and entered the hospital's café, where Alya promptly ordered some warm drinks for them. Adrien moved to pay, handing some euros to the cashier before Alya had a chance to protest, though she seemed too exhausted to fight and gave him a soft thanks instead. She was handed the drinks and she nodded her head toward a lone table in the back of the café.

He nodded and followed her in silence. She set the drinks down on the table, but before she had a chance to sit, Adrien grabbed her by the arm and gently pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her.

She was unmoving for a moment, taken aback, then her shoulders sagged. She clutched at the fabric on his back almost instantly, sinking her face in his chest, her body trembling with the silent sobs she had been holding in all evening while trying to be strong for Marinette's parents.

"You said you could use a hug," Adrien mumbled, smiling against her head.

She chuckled against his chest. "I sure did. Thank you."

She pulled away after a moment, wiping at her eyes, then motioned for him to sit down. He nodded but moved to pull the chair out for Alya first. She sat down and he pushed her chair forward. Alya made a quip about him being a gentleman even in desperate times and he smiled, seating himself across from her.

Alya drank quietly from her cup then put it down, her face downcast as she gathered her thoughts. Adrien reached out and placed a comforting hand on hers, rubbing the top of her hand with his thumb. He remained silent, waiting patiently for Alya to speak when she was ready. He could only imagine how hard it was for her, watching her best friend, practically a sister to her, in the bloody mess she was in.

He could relate, in a way, because even though he had not known Marinette as deeply as Alya, he knew Ladybug. She was his trusted partner, his yang, the one he could not live without, and as Plagg had aptly put it: the love of his life. It pierced his heart every time he remembered that she was somewhere in that hospital behind a cold, unfeeling door, battling for her life.

How had the day turned around so badly?

Alya smiled a tired smile, her eyes glistening as she looked at him. "Thanks for taking my call, Adrien."

"No problem. I know Nino is sorry he couldn't be here," Adrien replied softly, "But I'm here for you and Marinette. If there's anything I can do to help…"

"If you can make her okay, then that would be super." Alya commented almost as an afterthought, but instantly regretted it as she saw the flash of pain that passed through Adrien's eyes.

"What I wouldn't give," Adrien mumbled, his eyes downcast. If all the money he owned were enough to save save her, he'd give it away without a second thought.

He turned back to her, eyes filled with dread. "Alya, what is going on? She is not going to… you know..."

"We don't know…" Alya whispered, catching his meaning "She was… in really bad shape, Adrien."

Adrien cringed, unable to hide the shudder that overtook his body. Alya sighed, bracing herself to tell him everything. After taking a few steadying breaths, she began.

After Alya had seen Marinette being taken away in an ambulance, she immediately called Marinette's parents. The Dupain-Chengs closed the shop and rushed to see their daughter straightaway, their faces white with dread.

When they got there, they found Marinette had been rushed to the Emergency Room to be stabilized, her injuries too life-threatening to wait around. Alya recounted the extent of the damage to Adrien as the doctor had laid it out to them: Broken ribs, collapsed lung, head split open, hip shattered, immense blood loss… a dreadfully long list of injuries so severe they couldn't fathom how she was still alive. Most incredible of all was the fact that, save for her lung, none of her organs were damaged or malfunctioning, and yet, considering the state of her body, they couldn't explain how she was still breathing.

She was truly a fighter.

"They let us see her for a minute and then they moved her to surgery like two hours ago," Alya croaked, clutching her cup, "To close her head and fix her hip and... God, it was so awful..." She covered her mouth with a hand as fresh tears sprung from her eyes, her body trembling at the memory.

Color had long since drained from Adrien's face, his knuckles white from squeezing his fists too hard on the table. His eyes glazed, and he could feel his frantic heartbeat in his ears. He was cold inside, his stomach tossing and turning.

"Marinette's parents are devastated. And I'm just… It's hard," Alya continued, her voice breaking, "Because she is my bff you know? And they said that even if they manage to fix her, they don't know if she will recover, because the injury on her head is so bad and even with a transfusion, she had lost so much blood. So I really don't know what will happen. None of us do."

He nodded dejectedly. They stayed silent for a moment, and she sipped on her cup. Adrien grabbed his, but did not drink, too busy battling his own inner turmoil. Deciding to give Adrien some time to take it all in, Alya idly looked up at the TV screen hanging above them to distract herself. It was muted, but it was displaying the local news, showing scenes of the destruction, of Demoman, of Chat Noir, and Ladybug…

"It's a good thing Chat Noir was there."

Adrien tensed, and if it wasn't because he was still sitting upright he could've sworn his heart stopped and he toppled over. He looked at Alya, glistening eyes wide.

"If he had not saved Marinette… I don't think she would still be here, you know? I wish I could thank him and just… talk to him. About Marinette… about Ladybug. She hasn't shown up since Demoman attacked her. Do you think she is okay? I haven't exactly been able to jump back into the fray-"

But Adrien was not listening. His brain was short-circuiting.

It's a good thing Chat Noir was there? What good he did, indeed! If he had actually been any good, Ladybug - no, Marinette - wouldn't be here right now, cut open and bleeding, lingering in death's threshold because he was not competent enough to keep her safe!

Adrien trembled in anger, gritting his teeth.

"Adrien?" came Alya's worried voice but it didn't register with him.

He squeezed his eyes shut and ran a shaking hand through his hair, breathing heavily. He wished so badly to see her. To feel her breath on his face and her heartbeat under his hand; to feel her warm skin under his touch, her soft hair through his fingers. If anything, to cling onto any indication that she was still alive and not lying dead in a surgery room somewhere, doctors hovering over her and deliberating how to tell her family that she could not be saved...

If they needed blood for her they could pump him dry for all he cared, as long as Marinette was safe. He wished he could just trade places, to be the one under the light right now-

"Adrien, breathe…" Alya said, standing up suddenly and hovering over him, eyes filled with concern. "Breathe with me..."

His heart rate had increased, his pulse throbbing underneath his skin. It was getting increasingly hard to breathe. His eyes burned with hot tears and he could feel himself choking.

"Hey, I'm here," Alya soothed, dragging her chair up beside him, sitting down, and pulling him into an embrace as she saw him unravel. "Let it all out."

And he did.

He reached out and clung to her like she was a life line. Heart-wrenching sobs ripped from his throat as he cried against Alya's shoulder, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. He completely let go of any inhibition, of any semblance he had tried to show that he was strong and composed, crushing the image of the upstanding model that he so carefully upheld. He let out the fear, the dejection, the guilt, and the sadness he had been harboring all day. His fingers clutched at the fabric of her shirt, his face completely hidden in the crook of her neck like a child.

And he wished so hard… he wished so hard that she was there. His mother. Who had disappeared some time ago without a trace, who had brought warmth to his home and his heart. He wished so badly to be consoled by her, to be told that that it wasn't his fault, and that everything would be okay.

But she wasn't there. And things would not be okay because it had been his fault, for not fulfilling his role of protecting Ladybug at the cost of his own life. He had failed, Marinette paid the ultimate price, and it would all be on his head. And here he was, crying like a child and lamenting the loss of yet another light in his already dull, miserable life. He was consoled by a friend who had much more of a right to cry over Marinette, and who had every reason to hate him if she only knew who he was.

But she held on to him, gently stroking his head, patiently rubbing his back.

The café was mercifully empty, and the baristas had turned away, giving them the privacy they needed.

"If only Marinette could see us now," Alya chuckled half-heartedly after Adrien had cried his fill and they had let go of each other. "Being so emotional over her...Especially you…"

"Me?" Adrien croaked, "Why me?"

There it was again. Singling him out. He recalled Alya emphasizing that he, Adrien, should be there and he had wondered why. Marinette was warm and friendly and had plenty of friends, why was Alya so adamant on having him there? She hadn't even mentioned her boyfriend, Nino.

Alya hesitated. "She would kill me if I told you but.. I guess it can't be helped. I just…" she wrung her hands nervously, "In case anything happens and…if Marinette…"

"Please, don't finish it." Adrien warned. He didn't want to hear it. Implied or otherwise. He had enough with his own dark thoughts.

Alya nodded and Adrien waited, wiping his tired eyes with the sleeve of his jacket, looking curiously at Alya.

"Marinette kinda… Well, not kinda… Marinette positively l-loves-"

She jumped suddenly with a squeak, a buzzing sound reaching their ears. She hurriedly reached into her pants pocket and took out her ringing phone, touching the green button and placing it against her ear.

"Hello?" Alya said.

Adrien saw her give a small gasp of surprise and nod at whatever she was being told on the other end. After a minute or two of being quiet, she spoke again. "Yes, we'll be right up!" She put her phone back into her pocket, turning back to Adrien. Whatever she was going to tell him earlier, she completely disregarded it as she grabbed his hand.

"She's out. There can only be two people at a time so we're in after her parents see her. Since she's in ICU we get 10 minutes." She explained hurriedly, pulling him to his feet and dragging him out the café. Adrien stumbled, following her blindly and just letting her drag him to the elevator and back to the waiting room, all the while repeating the same thing over and over in his head:

She was out. She survived the surgery. She was alive.

Marinette was alive.

Relief flooded him, and a weight he didn't know he was holding alleviated from his shoulders. She still had to recover, so it was a small but important step nonetheless.

They reached the room again, finding it empty. Marinette's parents were gone, probably in for their 10 minute visit. He knew that friends were not usually allowed to visit a patient immediately after a surgery, but he assumed Tom had pitched in for them and convinced the doctor to let them in.

Alya took a seat, pulling out her phone to occupy herself with, probably to talk to Nino, and after a moment Adrien started to pace.

The next 10 minutes passed by excruciatingly slow. He was convinced that if the floor had not been solid tiling, he would've made a hole in it by now. Alya tapped her foot impatiently on the floor, scrolling rapidly down the contents on her phone. Adrien was convinced she was not really looking at whatever was in front of her, her mind miles away.

He could feel Tikki's nervous fluttering against his chest, mirroring his own growing nervousness. What would he say? What would she say? Would she be confused? Would she remember what brought her to that situation in the first place? So many questions flitted in his head.

A sudden creaking sound snapped him out of his thoughts and he jumped, arms shooting up defensively as the Chat in him surfaced momentarily. Realizing it was only the door on the back opening, he blinked and quickly put his fists down. He was glad Alya had not seen his reaction as she stood up to greet Marinette's parents coming through the door, a doctor in tow.

Adrien studied their faces carefully to determine what awaited him. Tom and Sabine looked haggard but their faces were not quite as lined with worry as they had been earlier. The tears on Sabine's cheeks had dried, even if her eyes still looked dead and tired. Adrien couldn't quite place the emotion he was reading. What he saw there was different; It was no longer the fear of uncertainty and hopelessness. No… It was a sort of relief but with a lingering sense of dejection. There was still sadness but it wasn't for the loss of a daughter. It was for a sort of loss but low key in comparison to what could've been. It was...

Resignation?

Adrien didn't quite know what to make of that.

Alya hugged them both, asking them if they were okay. They nodded and murmured something to Alya but Adrien was not paying attention. He was looking at the black haired doctor behind them expectantly as he jotted something on his clipboard. Once he was done, he rearranged his spectacles, shook his mustache a bit, and looked up at both Alya and Adrien.

"These must be Mlle. Dupain-Cheng's friends, correct?" The doctor asked Tom.

"Yes, Dr. Longuevie."

Dr. Longuevie nodded, placing the clipboard under his right arm and gesturing with his left to the door where they had come from. "Well if you will follow me, I will brief you on the proceedings."

After Dr. Longuevie got them to clean their hands and arms, he guided them through another hallway, explaining the visitation rules as Adrien and Alya listened on silently. No latex balloons and no flowers are permitted in ICU; hands must be thoroughly cleaned before entering the room; they will only be allowed 10 minutes at a time since Marinette's condition is delicate and they need to monitor her constantly; use encouraging words; even if it seems she isn't listening, she is; keep your voices level; do not disturb her; do not touch her head or hip; do not be alarmed by the strange machines and sounds, and so on.

Adrien was only half listening, nodding his head from time to time. He was growing anxious. How long was this hallway anyway?

After what seemed like forever, they finally reached the room. The doctor opened it for them and let them through first. Adrien was immediately assaulted by a myriad of strange smells and sounds. Beeping and booping came and went at different intervals, soft whirring sounds were heard in the background. The smell of disinfectant and analgesic attacked his nostrils. A nurse moved around a bed in the middle of the room, looking at machines and jotting things on a clipboard methodically.

It was a small room, fit for only one patient. A window was at the far back, curtains drawn closed so the light was subdued and easy on the eyes. Doctor Longuevie was saying something but Adrien was too distracted to tell what it was. He just heard the sound of the door closing and his eyes fell on the bed before him, on the inert body dressed in a pale blue robe and sunken chest deep into pristine white sheets. He walked towards her automatically, not really thinking.

Alya reached her first, rounding the bed so Adrien was free to linger on the side closest to him. There were tears in the corners of Alya's eyes as she reached out with a hand to caress Marinette's pale cheek, and Adrien felt pain. Pure, unbridled pain.

Marinette's skin was white, her cheeks flushed with sickness, and her closed eyes sunken. A tube of sorts came out of her mouth and connected to a ventilator at her side. The great majority of her head including her left eye was wrapped in thick, white bandages. What little hair they could see under the bandage lay sprawled over the pillow. All over her were cables and tubes connecting to her body in some way; on her arms, on her chest underneath the robe, on her temples, tethering her to all the strange monitors around her. She breathed slow and short breaths, trembling with every try, as if she was struggling to suck in even the simplest of breaths.

Adrien came closer almost hesitantly, ignoring the feeling of his heart in his throat and idly tapped his chest twice with a finger. He felt the hurried flitting of a Kwami moving up underneath his jacket and slinking down his right sleeve, and he subtly raised his forearm. He felt Tikki's little head underneath his palm, hiding behind his fingers as he pointed his hand to the bed so she would see. He felt her tremble.

His left hand moved on its own, brushing his fingers softly against the back of her hand. She was cold to the touch. She looked like she had been to hell and back, purple and black blemishes peppering the distinct parts of skin they could see. He felt moisture building at the corners of his eyes again, but kept them at bay.

"Hey, Marinette." Alya whispered, her voice cracking as she laid a hand on Marinette's arm. "You did great! I'm so proud of you. You're such a fighter, girl."

Marinette didn't stir, nor respond in any way, but Alya kept talking encouragingly, rubbing Mari's forearm gently. Adrien looked on, his voice gone. He just watched, taking in the image of her beaten, broken body, wishing he could so much more for her than just caress her hand.

"When do you think she will wake?" Alya asked the nurse that had so far lingered in the back to give them privacy.

"We currently cannot determine when she will be waking." The nurse said. She looked at them in such a way that made them feel like what she said was the most obvious thing in the world to know. "Depending on her recovery, it may take some time."

"Why is that? Sedatives?" Alya asked, raising an eyebrow.

The nurse looked at her curiously, then her eyes softened in realization. "Did Dr. Longuevie not brief you on Mlle. Dupain-Cheng's condition?"

"Uh, not really, just visitation rules."

The nurse hesitated, looked over at Marinette briefly, then turned back to them, her eyes sympathetic. Adrien found himself regretting Alya's question before the nurse even spoke next.

"Mlle. Dupain-Cheng is in a coma."