A SURE MAYBE

Yohan arrived, he got a much tanner skin right now, surely because of his training. His lips are obviously dry, his skin too; but got much leaner now. You can obviously see how fit he is because his clothes just clang to him as if it was part of his skin.

Nothing much changed about him, it's just that there is a deep sadness in his smile.

Fern met him in their backyard. She was much delighted so she quickly hugged him, and he gladly returned it back with a tight hug. Both of them knew in their heart, maybe that there is uncertainty; however, Yohan hoped that it would go well.

The hot black coffee filled his body with warmth and prayed that this warmth in his body will never dissipate because his shiver caused by his nervousness will be shown. They were both waiting for both of their parents to arrive. So they first tried to be with each other. Yohan was shocked to know that just after Fern's miscarriage, she turned up to school the next Monday. Fern assured him that she took an absence to heal herself but he and she both knew that, that event is a wound that could never be healed. It might heal but it certainly will leave a scar to the both of them.

Yohan felt sorry again but Fern kept on assuring him that she is okay. She is okay with her decision to let him go.

"You know, its the right decision that you went back, because if you didn't then there will be nothing left for us in the future"

"Fern, I'm really sorry this happened, and I wasn't even had the time to be with you"

"It's okay, because I know you will always be with me today and even forever"

She said with a little bit of laugh that pulled Yohan to smile a bit also.

"Then prepare yourself because I will cling to you like a cicada".

He replied that really brightened up the mood.

While sipping their coffee, Yohan really had the time look at her, really to look at her. He remembered how they first met each other.

He was young, she was younger and both of them had their own interest. They see each other at their high school campus but that's it. They only started to have a little chit chat when mother connected them through their friendship. Their mothers were friends, but Fern and Yohan never knew about them. They were both just as surprised when they saw each other.

It was Yohan's mother's birthday party. It was not exactly a party; it was a family dinner with close friends. Yohan can clearly see that Fern has this quiet confidence in her. She talks only a little bit and her whole being can clearly express if she was interested in something. She has her own charm that magnates Yohan's older brother, Jonathan and even his father to her.

They already had their own circle after their dinner, the mothers, where Fern and his mother are the main speakers, the teens where he belongs, the young adults where mostly of his older siblings are, and the odd group of Fern who was also still in high school, Jonathan, his older brother for a year and his father the weirdest and oldest of the group.

Their group was the quietest even though he can see that they are talking. It seems as though they are in a deep conversation, it's as though it's a serious topic with a little bit of burst laugh from the three of them that would engulf the whole house; which would make the other people look at them, Yohan knew that his older brother has a little bit weirdness in him but didn't knew about his father's full weirdness and also Fern.

That was the only thing he could remember at that time because he was not focused at that thing, he was more focused on Daisy, his girlfriend at that time. She was not there; she was invited but chose to not appear.

That was their first contact, and their conversation that went;

"who is the president in your year?",

Yohan asked to just break the ice because they were both the only kitchen at that time.

"me"

She replied just as she was just obliged to do so

"ah…...okay"

He said

But at least that made something in their relationship at school, they would nod at each other when they met at the ground, at the cafeteria or at the hallway. He even still remembers that she would go the other way or look the other way and would not firmly nod when Yohan is with Daisy.

Her attitude in that situation made him chuckle a little bit.

And that made him chuckle a little bit in reality, Fern looked at him with a smile on her face with wondering. She really looked at him and saw his sad smile. Fern knew she loves him and she knows he loves her so she hates the feeling of sadness that they are sharing right now and might share for the rest of their lives.

Their parents came by the time they finished their second cup of coffee, bitter it was but their nervousness was stronger than the coffee so it seemed fine. Both of them were practically adult now but they need the advice of their more adult peers, they still need their parents, and their older siblings. Only Yohan's older siblings were there to be accurate because Fern has only younger siblings.

"Then, do you want to get married to each other then?"

Is the final question that their parents asked them after so many talks and advice.

"Yes, I want to marry Fern if you allow me to marry her"

Yohan said firmly but with nervousness and glanced at Fern right after saying it. And with that he saw something else from her eyes, his heart dropped.

"Are you sure you want to marry me?",

Fern asked again but with tears already.

That's the question that she had been asking him, after she asked for a time for both of them to answer. Their parents left them and everyone left them, it was just the two of them in her room.

Yohan was there, just sitting beside her. He was just there, he won't answer and don't want to look at her. His anger and dismay were capsuled in a tear that he can't control any longer.