Izuku insults Endeavour

The night where Hitoshi discovered about Shoto's abusive household was the same night they all got in a relationship. They were sitting on the floor of Shoto's room, having just finished a movie when Izuku had suddenly blurted out that he liked them both as more than friends. Shoto had smiled warmly before freezing.

"If we get together" He had stated, eyes guarded. "No one can know."

Izuku seemed to telepathically understand whatever the problem was because he immediately grabbed his hand, reassuring him softly. Hitoshi had to admit he was rather confused.

It was then that Shoto started to explain about Endeavour's lust for power, how he married a woman - a girl, really, she was barely out an adult- with an ice quirk to make a hero stronger than All Might, how his siblings were discarded as failures, how he got trained as soon as his quirk appeared, how his mom snapped.

While Shoto talked Izuku had raised to a kneeling position to hug Shoto's head against his torso, a pained expression on his face.

Hitoshi didn't know he could get this angry. He had grown bitter by years of resentment towards his parents that had abandoned him as soon as his quirk appeared, towards the system that had discarded him, towards the classmates that thought it was funny to point in his direction and call him a villain, but not once had he felt this anger, no, this fiery protective rage he felt hearing about what Shoto went through.

He would wonder how the fuck Endeavour was still a hero, but he understood it perfectly: flashy quirks gave people a pass to be the human equivalent of dumpster fires. Look at Baka-go and his entitled attitude. Just because he could explode shit he was put on a pedestal so high he couldn't be bothered to look down on lowly peasants. Authority figures weren't to be trusted, even Aizawa-sensei. He respected him and trusted him to teach Hitoshi how to defend himself and be a good hero. He even trusted that he would put his life in danger for his students, but he wouldn't trust the man to intervene in these kinds of situations.

He did force Izuku to work with his tormentor.

Hitoshi wasn't present at the moment but after seeing Shoto plant himself between Izuku and the explosive blond he had asked what the deal was.

He was told in detail about how Bakugo had tried to fucking murder Izuku in their first exercise and how Bakugo had hit Izuku so hard his cheekbone was messed up during their exams where they had to fight All Might.

Shoto didn't sound surprised when he told about how no one intervened or how the blond didn't receive any punishments.

Hitoshi knew how this thing worked too, he was aware of how letting adults know about these situations wouldn't solve anything.

Still, the thought of a small, defenceless Shoto being beaten black and blue because he had to become a good hero made his blood boil so violently it made Hitoshi dizzy.

One look at Izuku's face told him he was feeling the same, but his priority was to calm and reassure the boy in his arms.

Hitoshi admittedly wasn't used to physical affection since he never received much with him living in foster care, but the contact seemed to sooth poor Shoto, so he willed himself to hold one of his hands.

It wasn't much, but the cold hand between his squeezed carefully before the heterochromatic boy melted in Midoriya's grasp.

They had spent the entire night curled around one another, Shoto sandwiched in the middle.

They snuggled and broke apart when the discomfort of being touched for so long after being starved for physical affection for years made contact unbearable and cuddling again as soon as the feeling was gone.

They had lightly dozed off as they plotted minor ways to inconvenience Endeavour. Hitoshi had laughed himself hoarse at how diabolical Izuku could be: his ideas went from switching sugar and salt to changing his shampoo with bleach to slowly rearrange the living room one centimeter at a time to make him think he's slowly losing it.

"We can slip wasabi in all his food, only his plates and make him think he's weak because no one is reacting."

"His quirk gives him a bit of a buffer against spicy food." Shoto had said, half asleep sprawled on Izuku's chest and under Hitoshi's hand.

"Well, I'm sure I can ask auntie Mitsuki to make her super hot sauce. It's really spicy."

Hitoshi had dozed at that point, falling in a light sleep.

*

The next day he woke up to sore muscles and sun shining in his eyes. Maybe sleeping on the floor without a futon wasn't the best idea. Still, Hitoshi couldn't regret the night spent cuddling and comforting Shoto. Speaking of which, he was now curled up against him and Izuku was nowhere to be seen.

He was bleary trying to turn his brain on again when the green haired boy entered the room. Izuku was wearing comfy looking clothes and had a tray in his hands. He smiled softly at them, quietly greeting Hitoshi and placing the tray on his desk. He then handed him a cup of coffee and they sat on either side of Shoto, Izuku humming as he braided heterochromatic hair and Hitoshi silently drinking his coffee while observing the action with fascination.

When Shoto had woken up Izuku had offered him some hot tea from a thermos.

They cuddled until Hotoshi's brain started working again and the other looked a little more awake. Izuku had spent the time gently fussing over them, making sure they were both comfortable.

"I don't think we can keep our relationship a secret from our classmates." Izuku started, before flushing bright red. "ThatisifyouwanttobemyboyfriendsIdidn'tmeanto-"

Hitoshi raised a hand to stop the panicked rambling.

"I...think I want to be in a relationship with both of you." He said, feeling the back of his neck getting red, so he covered it with his hand.

"Me too." Confirmed Shoto casually. He was probably still a bit sleepy from the look of it. Hitoshi found it super cute how he was so lethargic in the morning, hair messy aside from the few braids in his hair Izuku made and slowly blinking as he drank tea. Next to him Izuku was covering his head with his arms, clearly embarrassed.

"You were saying something about our classmates?" He prompted and Izuku jolted.

"Oh yeah! Our class is really close, especially after all the attacks, so I think they'll notice if we suddenly change behaviour around one another." Izuku took a hand to his face, looking deep in thought. "I don't think I could keep it a secret from Ochako-chan, she can be quite...persuasive...in her search for drama. She once threatened me with launching my quirk notebook in the Sun if I didn't spill the beans on who Kacchan has a crush on…"

"Bakugo has a crush on someone?" Shoto perked up, suddenly interested.

"No, the real question is: Bakugo has feelings other than anger and irritation?" Hitoshi asked, legitimately perplexed. Izuku froze before bursting out laughing so hard he was wheezing and crying, holding his stomach.

Shoto and Hitoshi exchanged glances, confused.

"Kacchan has a huge crush on Kirishima, it's so obvious it's painful to watch" Izuku explained as he calmed down, drying the tears.

"Bakugo has a crush on Kirishima?"

"No, wait, I'm still not over the fact that Bakugo can experience other emotions. Like, normal emotions. What will be next? That he can talk in a normal voice level?"

"I mean…"

"No, don't. I can't handle thinking Bakugo is an actual human and not three raccoons with rabies under a trench coat."

Izuku burst out laughing again and Shoto sorted quietly.

"Why three raccoons tho?" Asked Shoto. "Wolverines and honey badgers are more naturally aggressive". Hitoshi hummed.

"Than maybe he's a rabid wolverine with a quirk that makes him look human"

"Ok, ok, enough or I'll seriously die." Izuku pleaded, wheezing again. "I can't deal with the mental image of a wolverine with Kacchan's hair".

Shoto huffed amusedly and Hitoshi snorted before raising an eyebrow.

"How did we end up on this topic again?" He asked, perplexed.

"Izuku said he couldn't keep secrets from Uraraka."

"Oh yeah!"

Izuku took a deep breath, finally calming his giggles. "As I was saying...we should tell our classmates to keep our relationship a secret from Endeavour. He acts like a dumpster fire on a good day, no one would be surprised for him to be an homophobic dumpster fire." He rose and started rummaging in a drawer under his desk. "I think I have the analysis I wrote on why he shouldn't even be a hero here somewhere somewhere and we can make them read it if they're not convinced...aha!"

He magically produced a stack of papers from the mess that was his desk and handed it to Shoto who skimmed it as Hitoshi looked over his shoulder, whistling in astonishment.

There were graphs, photos, extracts from public records and interviews all from reliable sources that deligned how that man was extremely violent and was more prone to thinking about subduing the villains -more often than not with excessive force- than rescuing and protecting civilians.

Shoto looked at Izuku with big, shiny eyes and threw the analysis to Hitoshi to take the green haired boy's hands in his.

"Marry me."

"I-what?!"

Hitoshi snorted. "Are you going to propose to anyone that bad mouths your father?" Shoto turned and looked at him dead in the eyes.

"Can anyone else write a 50 page essay on why Endeavour should not be a hero without even touching on my family's abuse? Because Izuku did and it was the most savage and beautiful thing I just laid eyes on."

Izuku started sputtering and Hitoshi hummed.

"Fair enough."