The 9th Circle of Hell, IKEA (Unsurprisingly)

Give me Power Stones, or you will be forced to go shopping at IKEA

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Dohnaseek was not having a good day. Especially after Mittelt had dyed all of his extra suits pink, as a 'joke'. This was his limited collection, valued at millions of dollars, that he had collected throughout several centuries. Some were well over half a millennium old. He could probably buy an entire city with their entire combined value. 

 Kalawarer then had fucked off to some strip club, leaving him the only available person for Raynare to send off to do her bidding. Mittelt was too much of a brat, lazing around the church 'guarding' it while she read her collection of Manga. Freed was busy slaughtering 'heretics' and Raynare herself was busy investigating some boy who might have a useful Sacred Gear. 

 That left only him, as Raynare rightfully didn't trust any of the rogue exorcists they employed. And so he was sent to interrogate Viser, who they had made a deal with, and why she was drawing attention to herself recklessly. Needless to say, he was not happy about it. Especially on what was supposed to be his day off. 

 As he was walking through the streets towards the meeting location, a warehouse they had provided for Viser to stay in and lay low, he had a sudden feeling. Something brushed past him. An unexplainable, dangerous feeling. In that fraction of a second, not even a heartbeat long, he had died. His heart had froze, his entire body still as a statue. Then he had to remind himself, he was a fallen angel. He literally didn't have a heart. 

 He turned around quickly, looking around at the people passing through the streets. Searching. For a few minutes, he continued to do that. He didn't exactly know why. But it was an instinctual feeling. 

 'What am I doing?' He eventually questioned himself, after continuing to stand in the street. He was beginning to draw attention, people stopping to ask if he was okay. He gave them a cold look, and they backed off. He finally turned back, breathing in deeply. He rested a hand against his chest, where his not-heart beat wildly. Rather, the core of their being, that existed in the shape of a ball of light. It pulsed wildly, pushing energy throughout his body at a dangerously fast rate. 

 He took a deep breath, before wiping his forehead. He pushed his worry out of his mind. He continued on, he had somewhere to be. But before he did, he saw his hand out of the corner of his eye. Covered in sweat, and shaking. He ignored it. 

 He walked quickly, intent on getting this over with. But, his intuition was screaming at him. He had only lived this long by following his gut. He was a careful man, having been a double agent in Heaven for the Grigori before he fell for Centuries. He was then contacted by Kokabiel, who had offered him a deal in exchange for joining a small team to complete a mission.

 His instinct had never failed him before. He decided to follow it, doubling back multiple times and taking long complex routes to throw his possible pursuers off. He had nearly walked the entire distance of Kuoh before he arrived at the warehouse, still on edge and paranoid. 

 He was being watched, that much he was convinced of. His meeting with Viser went about how he expected it. She blew off his warnings and commands, only caring about Raynare keeping her side of the deal. He suspected their deal would be nullified by a third party soon enough anyway. She was attracting too much attention, killing dozens of people every day. And the Satan's wouldn't like such a person being in the same town as their siblings. 

 Still, his role would be over soon. The church girl would be arriving soon, and Raynare's plan would finally begin. Of course, Kokabiel ordered him to keep a close eye on her, should she grow too ambitious. 

 Still, as he watched Viser slither away into the shadows, likely to head to some secret hideout in the sewers, he felt the familiar feeling. Of being watched. He looked around slowly, not giving his pursuer any indication he had noticed their presence. 

 Who had found him? Was it one of Azazel's Agents? One of the Satan's sibling's peerage members? He backed away into the shadows, waiting quietly. He was a patient man. He had once spent 20 years as a Chinese man, gathering information on the whereabouts of Sun Wukong and his connection to the Hindu Pantheon. He could wait as long as it took. 

 He was surprised when what seemed to be a young man in a suit walked in, looking around. He detected no magic from the boy and no sign of any sort of magical artifact. In fact, he felt nothing at all. No sense of danger, no killing intent or presence. It was like he wasn't even there. 

 This of course sent alarm bells off in his head. To hide your presence, was the skill of trained assassins and thieves. And very skilled ones at that. He looked around, confident and unafraid of anything. He didn't even bother to cast any detection magic. This was even stranger. Why was he so confident no one was here?

 Of course, he confronted the boy, but things only got stranger. He was confident, way too much so. He barely even winced when a spear pierced through his foot. He then became panicked, but he still was confident. At this point they would be weeping on the ground, begging for their life. But he kept to his story, that he was a 'real estate agent'. 

 The envelope of money confirmed his suspicions. He was likely an investigator, or a mercenary hired to follow him. He coldly made up his mind. He would likely have to torture this boy until he revealed who he was working for. As he made up his mind, the boy dropped the act. 

 He asked if he could ask a question, confident and calm. He smirked, far too calm for the situation he was in. This again set alarm bells off in his head. Something was wrong. He was far too confident, and far too calm. 

 And that was the story of how he ended up here. The boy had activated some sort of spell, or perhaps a Sacred Gear, and he had been teleported here. Where was here? Well, Ikea of course. 

 He blankly looked around, confused and bewildered. He was not stupid. He had spent several years in America on a mission from Heaven, investigating the tragedy that was Salem. He then spent several decades there before he fell. He had seen society advance and transform. 

 He also knew of the place known as Ikea. An American store that sold various household furniture. They were somewhat common and famous in America. Still, he was rather confused about why he ended up here. Did he get teleported to America somehow? A magical teleportation spell of that magnitude, to teleport a person halfway across the world, was impressive. Still, how did he not notice such a spell being cast? Such a spell would require a few minutes for a Master Mage to set up, and several days for an average one. It would also take a massive amount of magical energy to activate and complete, but he detected not a drop of magical power in the boy. 

 He looked around, the white industrial light lighting up the entire warehouse. He frowned, before flaring his wings and flying up, landing on a giant warehouse shelf that nearly touched the ceiling. Chairs were stacked along the top of the shelf, and he moved one over slightly to give himself a bigger area to stand on. He then looked around for the exit. 

 He blinked. This was a very big warehouse. He turned, looking in every direction. It was a very big warehouse. 

 He cast a spell, giving himself enhanced eyesight. He looked around. It was a very, very big warehouse. 

 He cast a more complex spell, giving him even better eyesight, along with a simple clairvoyance spell. He should be able to see several miles in every direction. He looked around. It was a very, very, very, very, very big warehouse. 

 At this point, he knew something was wrong. He couldn't see the walls of the warehouse, no matter how far he looked. It seemed to span on forever, with no end in sight. An infinite Ikea. 

 He grimaced, blinking, reassessing his situation. What was this? A dream? An illusion? Perhaps. Some images were extremely adept in hypnosis and hallucinations. An infinite imagined world was not out of the question. He then considered the worst-case scenario. It could be a pocket dimension of some kind, created through an extremely powerful ritual or spell, likely using divinity. 

 He grimaced, contemplating his options. Angel's didn't dream, and illusion and hypnosis were ineffective against their race. But not impossible to use. He cast a few rudimentary spells, seeing that they seemed to work fine. 

 Magic wouldn't work in a dream or illusion, given that your soul or mind which was imprisoned in said dream or illusion possessed no magic. Your magic was found in your body, after all. He briefly did some calculations, before giving up. He briefly tried to logically think of how magic might work in a pocket dimension made of magic but gave up. Such a complex idea was far outside his capabilities as a magician. 

 He did another spell, but nothing happened. He frowned. Unlike a normal mage, who drew mana from the world or his body, Angels drew from the powerful energy within their cores. This time, instead of drawing power from his core, he tried to gather mana from the air. Nothing. 

 He frowned, casting out his senses. He blinked, slightly shocked. He sensed no mana. This place apparently contained no trace of mana, or any sort of distinguishable power forming it. He frowned, reassessing his options. 

 He looked over the horizon, trying to find something of note besides what seemed to be endless furniture. He spent several minutes doing this before he detected movement a few isles down. 

 He quickly spread out his wings, before flying to the shelf and looking over the edge of the shelf below into the isle. He frowned at the figure standing silently in the center. He observed it quickly. At first glance, it seemed to be a human male, having a strange figure, at least from afar. But on closer inspection, it was anything but.

It was human-like, with the figure of a human male. It towered at over 7 feet tall, wearing a yellow shirt with blue stripes, blue pants, and brown shoes. Simple clothes that looked to be a uniform of some kind. 

But that was where the similarities stopped. Its arms were long, about 5 feet long, reaching the creature's knees as its arms hung by its side. Its hands were disproportionately large, with long fingers with more joints and phalanges than a normal human. Its hands were easily big enough to wrap around an entire person's head. 

 Its entire skin was pale, dull, and unblemished. Its head was devoid of any hair, seemingly bald like a human. Dohnaseek observed its form, slightly unnerved by its appearance. The creature then turned its head upwards, towards his location. He leaned back instinctively, out of the creature's view. He stood motionlessly, not making a sound, calm and collected. Normally he would be unafraid, viewing most creatures to be beneath a being such as himself, but he was a stranger in a strange place and needed to gather information if he wanted to escape. 

 In that split second of eye contact, he was able to see the creature's face. Or, where it should be. Instead, a layer of skin covered where its face should be. Its face wasn't completely smooth, with indents and depressions on its blank face where its eyes and mouth would be, with the outline of jawbones and nasal bones being visible underneath its skin. He also noticed the lack of ears or any other discernible features. 

 He leaned away from the edge of the shelf, careful not to move too much or make any noise. He calmly waited for several minutes, as he imagined the creature continuing to stare at the spot where he leaned over to observe it. 

 His breathing was calm and even. He was a rational individual who understood what needed to be done and when. He idly considered the ramifications of the creature's existence. Mainly, how the creature noticed his presence despite his skill in espionage and stealth. 

 Its physical appearance was deliberately made to mock a human male, wearing clothes like a human would. Yet, it possessed no obvious biological features for detection, like eyes to observe light, ears to hear, or nose to smell. But, then, how did it notice his presence?

He then heard the clear sound of shoes clicking on marble, as the creature began to walk away. He decided to follow the creature, hoping to gain some sort of clue as to where he was. He flew from shelf to shelf, easily casting a few spells to make himself less noticeable by muffling his footsteps. 

He followed the creature as it walked through the shelves and displays of furniture sets, a mock kitchen and living room, and a bedroom. As he did so he noted a few things. First, there were many more creatures of the same species walking around. 

Dozens of the creatures walked around, seemingly searching for something. Alarmingly, he noted that they seemed to be keeping around the location he appeared in. They wandered around in circles, slowly growing their search outwards. 

He was silent, making sure he was out of sight, unseen. But too many of the creatures were around, making leaving the area without being noticed impossible. He instantly realized that they were trying to make sure he didn't leave the area. 

He then noticed something particular. What seemed to be… 2 normal humans? A young girl with blond hair and a tall, muscular man with short brown hair. They stood at a distance, watching the creatures and their activities. 

He obviously decided to make his way to them. Slowly, he made his way through their formation. Ducking behind furniture and keeping to the top part of the shelves. Eventually, through his skill in patience, he made his way to the edge of the formation. 

He grimaced, seeing several of the creatures standing idle, slowly panning their heads, as if they were keeping watch, despite having no eyes. The area he woke up in, with many rows of industrial shelves that reached the ceiling, resembling a warehouse ended here. He could only see displays of furniture and mock rooms in the area beyond, where the humans were watching the creatures from. He would be much more visible without the advantage of height and cover on his side, with no shelves to hide on top of.

He needed a distraction, he decided. Thus, he manifested a spear in his hand. He then crouched, aiming a bit away from his location. He then focused, before launching the spear. 

A loud sound echoed through the seemingly infinite store, as an explosion of light manifested where the spear impacted a shelf. Then, a groaning slowly echoed, before the shelf toppled over, falling against several other shelves. 

Like dominos, the shelves collapsed on one another. A strange scratching rang through the place as several of the creatures were crushed by the collapsing shelves. The screeching continued as the other creatures rushed over to the disaster, strangely walking directly into the line of destruction, getting crushed themselves. They didn't move as the shelves slowly tipped above them, as if they didn't care if they were crushed or not. 

 He didn't spare any more time thinking about it, instead using the chance to escape. He cast a rudimentary invisibility spell, before taking to the sky. Of course, he only did this so the humans wouldn't see him. Invisibility spells only worked when your target had eyes to see in the first place, after all. 

 He then landed a bit away from the humans, pondering whether or not to show himself, before deciding to not. This place was far too strange. Why were humans here in the first place, if this was some sort of pocket dimension?

 He overheard their panicked conversation as they debated whether to flee or not. "What the hell!" The girl shouted, obviously disturbed by something. "Did Johnson's group go fucking insane?!" She questioned hysterically. 

 "No. They merged with Cassie's group after they were overrun." The man calmly stated. But Dohnaseek could tell he was alert and carefully surveying the surrounding area. 

 "Then what was that?" She asked, throwing her hands in the air in hysteria.

 "I don't know. The Employee's haven't been this agitated since those Serpent's Hand guys started causing a ruckus." He stated. He then saw something in the distance, his eyes widening in fear before he grabbed the girl's arm and pulled her back. 

 "We need to go. Now." He stated ominously.

 "What?! We can't go back without answers! We haven't seen anything like this before!" She exclaimed in a confused tone. 

 The man then calmly pointed to something in the distance, the girl following his finger, before her eyes also widened in fear, before speaking a low tone fearfully. "Security. A Manager. What the fuck are they doing here?!" She whispered fearfully. 

 "Something's wrong. Something that they really don't like." He whispered. 

 Dohnaseek then looked to where he pointed, seeing another group of creatures, this time dressed in black uniforms with the word 'Security' painted in white on their backs. Leading them was a creature dressed in a red shirt and black pants. The 'Manager' the human spoke of, he guessed. 

 He then looked back to the humans, seeing them begin to flee from the location, the screeching of the creatures still vivid, as the 'Manager' let loose a much louder and more complex scratch of its own. 

 He decided to follow the humans, to see where they were going. This place was only growing more confusing as he gathered more information. What the hell did that kid do to him?

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"Well?" 05-8 asked impatiently, sitting in a dark office, with a figure standing in front of his desk. "You better have found something, John." They asked impatiently, tapping a finger on their wooden desk. 

'John' as he was called, stood alert, his hand behind his back, his shoulder pulled back. "My men were able to discern something from 05-2's Caretaker. 05-1 visited 05-2 some time after the meeting, to talk about something. No personnel were allowed in the room when the conversation took place." He stated formally, with a blunt and emotionless tone. 

"That means nothing! Why the hell did 05-1 miss the Council meeting!? He hasn't missed one since I was appointed 05-8!" They angrily ranted, unsatisfied with 'John' and his response. 

"Without his vote, I was overruled and the proposal fell through." They grumbled, upset at the absence of 05-1 during the last 05 Council Meeting.

 "Sir, I was able to learn a few other things though." 'John' stated emotionlessly. 05-8 motioned in the darkness that covered their figure, making 'John' begin to speak. 

 "During the meeting, 05-1 apparently had a private meeting with the Administrator, though no one was present to confirm this. Both of them seemed to vanish, but the Administrator's public schedule is ambiguous and unreliable at best."

 05-8 growled, rapping their knuckles on the desk. That man. He was a constant pain in the 05 Council's neck, more so to 05-8 more than the others. He was the man responsible for 05-8's many failed attempts at dissolving the Ethics Committee. 

 "We looked into any suspicious activity during the time the Council meeting was taking place, and we found a phone call to an area between the Tigris and Euphrates river." 'John' reported. 

 05-8 blankly thought of the implications. Now, one might wonder why such a phone call was seemingly done unsecurely by the highest power of the SCP foundation, but then one must wonder who would be crazy enough to try and intercept a phone call from 05-1. Especially when the very words and sound of 05-1's voice, along with any recording or image of him, was considered a cognitohazard, and infohazard of the highest level, only being able to be understood and safely heard by someone like 05-8, or a member of the Red Right Hand, like 'John', the special ops unit of agent loyal to the Council.

 "He's calling 05-14? Why the hell.…" 05-8 trailed off, deep in thought. Why would 05-1 call the site where the Gate Guardian, one of the SCP-001 proposals, was located? The 05 Council, the highest authority of the SCP foundation, had 13 positions held by 13 individuals. 05-14, while possessing level 5 Security Clearance, was not on the 05 Council. 05-8 knew little about him, only that they were connected to the 05-1 and were responsible for the control and monitoring of SCP-001, the Gate Guardian. 

 'John' decided to continue, Looking dead ahead with no emotion in his eyes. "We were also able to find a log that someone visited D-9341 during the meeting. As well, a Level 05 access was granted to someone while viewing the SCP-3008 file." He reported. 

 05-8 sighed. "His pet project? The Spiral Gestalt? And that access to the Infinite IKEA file likely means nothing. 05-7 likely just got bored and decided to read the incident reports for fun." They speculated out loud.

 D-0341 was someone of interest to 05-8, being the D class responsible for the mass containment breach of Site 19, almost causing the containment breach of SCP-683, 'The Unkillable Lizard'. They were a senior researcher of some note, before due to unauthorized access to the phenomenon known as "The Spiral Gestalt", 05-1 had his memories wiped and demoted to D class. Knowledge about them was something 05-1 restricted, and even 05-8 wasn't stupid enough to mess with his personal project. 

Not that he hadn't tried. However, the file on D-0341 was protected by Level 6 Security Clearance, which was only held by the Administrator. To view a Level 6 Security Clearance File, you had to hold a vote, and the majority of the 05 Council had to agree to allow the individual to access the file. Which meant that 05-1 and the Administrator likely did have some connection to him missing the meeting, given the file had been accessed. 

"There were some inquiries into the monitoring location of the various SCP-3008 sites, as well as orders given to the Overseeing Researcher of the SCP-3008 sites." 'John' justified the reason for believing that a connection might exist. 

 "Well, that really means nothing. Once again, it was likely 05-7 bored out of his mind, or the research team there requesting authorization for some experiment." They dismissed the connection. 

What the hell was so important to miss a Council Meeting? His strange fascination with his pet project is going too far." 05-8 growled out, before waving their hand. 'John' took this as a sign to leave. 

 05-8 waved his hand, and a computer materialized on his desk. They idly clicked a few buttons, as it booted up. It was several centuries out of date, but the computer interface was highly advanced. They clicked through a few files, wondering what was so important for the Founder of the SCP Foundation to miss a meeting. 

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You may notice a few road blocks in my writing as I realized that Dohnaseek was an Fallen Angel, and therefore different than a human. Sorry about that. 

Explanation, for those who want to know. I tried to leave out as much personality and character from he Council members as possible, keeping their Gender's Neutral, for the most part. For those in the know, I will likely edit this chapter much, much later if we return to the SCP universe so the 05 Council Members are canonical to the version's in Djkaktus's "Ouroboros Cycle" 001 Proposal. The 05 Council has 13 members, (Accepted generally as fact across SCP Mythos), and 05-14 is a unique character that is only mentioned and appears in the SCP-001 Proposal "Gate Guardian" story. Level 6 Security Clearance is canonically accepted in the Mythos, labeled "Cosmic Top-Secret", but is exceptionally confusing in the Wikidot description. Apparently it is only available to 05 Council members. Who are named 05, because they have Level 5 Security Clearance. Why aren't they named 06 then? The explanation about the Administrator having Level 6 and the Voting to have access to Level 6 is my interpretation. You got all that, right? (Your in the know, right?)

D-0341 is the D class character you play as in the game SCP: Security Breach. The backstory about him being a researcher, having his memories wiped, and the Spiral Gestalt is cannon, to the game at least. The Spiral Gestalt is not cannon to the Wikidot/Mythos, to the best of my knowledge. The Spiral Gestalt is the in-game explanation for the players ability, or D-0341's ability, to Save/Reload/Delete, all those 4th wall abilities. Most of SCP: Security Breach is not canonical to the Mythos/Database on the Wikidot page, for better or worse. 

Sorry for such a long author rant, but I feel I needed to explain. If you hate me explaining so much or long author notes, please tell me. This is the final chapter I have written for now, But will probably start on the next one over Christmas Break. School and Other Commitments mean updates to both this story and my other one will be highly infrequent, but this story is made of passion. 

Please do feel free to leave comments, review, or show support in any other way. It really does a lot. Thank you. Also don't forget to give power stones if you want.