webnovel

will rewrite, remove from library

A man from our(?) world finds himself in a place he knows nothing about. The "place" in question being the version of hell from the shows, "Helluva Boss" and "Hazbin Hotel", of course. Now reincarnated as a certain baby imp in a body he hates, he must find a way to survive in this brand new literal hell hole! ________________ (notes from the Author) 1. I won't be specific but I'm still pretty young and only plan to do this for fun or to relieve stress. So feel free to expect typos, inappropriate punctuation placement and so much more!! 2. I plan to keep the humor just about the same as in the source material. In the case that you're against reading about violence, gore, cursing, epic fight scenes and other stuff like that, I'd recommend you don't read this epic tale. 3. Story will have lemon scenes with not completely human characters. There'll be a warning in chaps like those. And they won't happen for a looooong time. 4. I love to hear your criticism since I am writing this to improve my writing abilities. This also happens to be the reason I'm starting by writing a FF, because I do hope to make my own novels at some point. 5. Still on the topic of criticism, if you complain abt something that i've explained in one of these disclaimers or make a shitty review just to be an ass and discourage me, I'll fucking find you. . . . jk . . . . 6. I likely won't have an update schedule for this, but bonus chapters may become a thing in the future depending on stone donations and stuff. And don't go removing it from your library after just a few weeks of no new chaps, I'll eventually come back. 7. Don't forget this is a FF so don't go complaining when I change things from the story or use my own theories to fill in blanks. This is especially important considering the fact that neither "HB" or "HH" are complete. 8. This story will more closely relate to the themes of HB than HH. Making the characters look cool and form valuable relationships will have more priority than the redemption of tainted souls. Though even with this in mind I'll try to even out the HB and HH content as much as possible.(along with a lot of my own stuff and shit) 9. Slow-pased as fuck Alright cool, with all of that out of the way hopefully the weaklings have been weeded out. For those of you still reading, get ready for the ride of an after-life time(maybe)! ( I own nothing except for my theories and original characters. Hazbin Hotel and Helluva boss are owned by Vivziepop and A24, Studios all rights reserved to them ofc. I also don't know who made the cover, if the original artist would like me to remove it, I will. Also, everyone can feel free to message me on Discord: SickPickle or bicndalls idk)

MeButBetter · TV
Not enough ratings
8 Chs

Cousin?

(A/N thanks again to people consistently reading this, I love all of you. Fun Fact: chapter six landed this fic at a total 9999 words, just thought that was cool, BYE!)

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About a week after the incident with Crimson, I still didn't get why he did it. I hated him but I couldn't help but wonder.

He hadn't talked to mom since it happened and he'd only come to me to break down every once in a while. I looked away from him each time.

My reflecting was broken as mother walked in with a faint smile on her face "Come, come Moxxie. It's time for us to attend your First Festival" she put an emphasis on the Fs. A giggle escaped her mouth as she covered it with her hand, "Ohh, I do love alliteration." Weirdo.

Glad to see she's doing well! She picked me up and walked at a hastened pace to the front door of our mansion. As she opened the door, my eyes met with a black, purple, and golden carriage. Intricate designs covered the full length of the outdated mode of transport.

Seriously, what era of technology is this place in? I see cellphones all over the place, but the cars seem so old. The use of this carriage is probably just tradition, but still. All this plus the hologram moon is just confusing.

(A/N it technically would have been the 80s on earth when Mox is born, but don't worry I'll have an explanation for this . . . . . . . . eventually)

The carriage was pulled by two flaming horse skeletons. Cool, I want one! I pulled mother's shirt and pointed, saying, "I want a horsey." So what if I'm spoiled? I'm royalty, baby!

Sensing my intentions, she shook her head, "Sorry Mox , but you can't have that horse. Don't worry though, I have something much more 'epic' I plan to give you!" It feels weird hearing her say that word.

She gave me a long kiss on the cheek and only stopped when someone began stepping out of the carriage. It was a bird man, or bird . . . . .boy? I honestly can't tell. He's shorter than mother, but it could also be a species thing like with some animals. However, my question was answered as he spoke.

"Auntie Poltis! Oh how I've missed you!", He began prancing over with his arms to the side. I can tell from his voice that he's in his teen years. 

I can also tell from his voice(and walk) that this dude is totally gay. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT! 

Some of my best friends were gay in my past life. Wait, why am I defending myself? I didn't even say anything derogatory! But my gaydar is going haywire around this guy.

(A/N way to be weird about it my guy)

ANYWAYS, he spread his arms for a hug from my mom. She reciprocated and dropped me in the process, though I was caught by a cloud of smoke. Phew.

They embraced for a moment before a voice sounded from the carriage, "Hurry the fuck up, you limp dick!" Damn! The voice was yet another English-accented one.

[Stolas and Stella imgs]

"Yes sweetie! We'll be there in a moment.", poor guy seemed distressed. Mother had a scowl looking over to the other bird woman, though this time the bird wasn't an owl. I'm actually not too sure what she is. Wait, did he call her sweetie? Maybe I was wrong, this will surely teach me a valuable lesson about making assumptions!

We ran to the carriage and took our seats, I'd been taken from my smoke loft by this point. I was now sitting next to mother, across from the angry woman. The tension was heavy as the bird women glared daggers at each other, throwing insults every now and then.

The guy, who I was assuming to be the "Stolas" I had heard so much about these past few months, spoke in a hurried voice to attempt to break the tension, "Is this little fellow the Moxxie that I've heard so much about?" Huh, great minds think alike I guess.

Mom was more than happy to bring a conversation to this trip and said, "Yes, this is my little Mox." She pinched my cheek, "He'll be coming with me to live with you!" WHAT?!

Since when was that the plan? Not that I'm complaining though. I don't particularly wanna live in a house with a psychopath any longer than I have to. But is he really just gonna let that go?

As I pondered, the woman, who I heard call herself Stella at some point, said, "We never agreed to have that half-breed in our home. I won't have MY walls dirtied with his diluted blood.", well everybody pray for this bitch, cause she's about to be dead.

Finishing my thought, a sludgey and black arm with many violet colored eyes all over it, reached out from the wall on Stella's left and grasped her neck. I looked over at mother and there was steam exiting her mouth as she breathed heavily.

The coachman stopped the carriage as Stella let out screams. It seemed like she was scared of something she was seeing instead of the pain, though.

"Don't ever talk about my son like that again. Else, I'll tear all your disgusting feathers out and stab them into your whore eyes." Despite her 'choice' language, she spoke in an eerily calm voice.

The arm disappeared and left no mark on Stella's neck. Mom looked over to Stolas with a smile, "I hope you don't mind if I bring Moxxie to stay with you."

He responded as though this woman didn't just threaten to kill his wife, "I don't mind at all, I'd love to get to know my little cousin more!" He clapped his hands together. I assume it was from excitement, but the coachman took it as a signal to resume our travel.

"Thank you, Stolas! Say thank you to Stolas, Moxxie." She tapped me on the shoulder.

I stepped down from my seat, a steep drop for me. After arriving at Stolas' feet I signaled him to pick me up. When I was in his arms I gave him a hug and said, "Thank you, big brother Stolas." Yes, I shall act as the cutest, nicest baby ever!

He was left gobsmacked by what I called him as well as the intelligence I displayed. I let myself down from his lap and took a single step towards Stella as they were right next to each other.

I pulled on her dress and she broke from the trance she'd been in since the arm disappeared. I put my hands behind my back and twisted my foot back and forth, "Sorry if my mommy scared you. Please don't be mad, big sister Stella." I truly am the embodiment of adorableness!

I asked her to pick me up and she didn't say anything, just grabbed me and placed me on her lap. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. Though I saw her cheeks flush as I closed my eyes. Kill em' with kindness as they say!

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I guess at some point I actually fell asleep and only woke up when mom took me back from Stella. Stella seemed a bit dejected as I was taken, but I'm sure she'll be fine.

We stepped out of the carriage and I was nearly blinded by the dazzling gold and white all around us. After my eyes adjusted, I looked around and saw a large pair of golden doors and a large sign next to it, I couldn't see what the sign was since we were on the wrong side.

I then looked in the direction we were headed, a large ticket booth lay in all its magnificence before us! Just kidding, it was just a shitty booth you would see anywhere else. In fact, it was a bit below average and not to be rude, but the dude that gave us our tickets smelled weird.

After purchasing the absurdly priced tickets- well, I assume it was absurdly expensive considering the fat stack of cash we handed him. Anyways! What was I saying?

Oh yeah! We're currently headed for the massive doors I mentioned earlier. I could now see the sign, I assumed it showed where the elevator led. I say 'elevator' because the sign read, "Elevator 487: Schedule", is this what mother was talking about a few months ago?

I look around to see if she was right about what she said before and saw that people were indeed ogling us, though they seemed much more focused on mom than me. I barely heard whispers from a few people, but I could make out some words. The word "Hero" seemed to stick out the most.

Are they talking about what happened in Loo Loo Land? I guess they made her into someone to look up to instead of a scandalous royal like I had feared.

We had to stand in the elevator for a few minutes while waiting for more people to get in. In that time, I continued to stare at the sign. Aside from the line at the top, there was a short list below it. Everything on this list was named after one of the seven deadly sins.

I assume this means that the "rings" I've heard so much about are what the sign refers to. I can further deduce that the rings are layered on top of each other because elevators are needed. I don't know if the sign has them in order, but if so I've come up with the most plausible arrangement.

(A/N this'll be the order I go with for the entire story)

In descending order, Pride Ring, Greed Ring, Lust Ring, Wrath Ring, Gluttony Ring, Sloth Ring, Envy Ring. I'll try my best to remember this, but damn, I've never heard of any version of hell being built like this.

Since we're going to Wrath, we'll probably have to make a stop at Lust. Hopefully it doesn't take long to go between floors.

The doors closed and the elevator finally started moving. Stella seemed like she was on the verge of vomiting all over the place. She gagged every few minutes too. STAND AWAY FROM ME IF YOU'RE GONNA DO THAT, BIRD BRAINS!

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[Many hours later]

(3rd person)

In a bush just off a main road in the Wrath ring, a large group of armadillo-like imps were hunched over and their backs were starting to hurt!

"Boss are you sure they're coming? They should've passed by hours ago."

Another chimed in, "Maybe we missed them?" 

A much more angry-looking one said, "Or they don't fucking exist! I mean, who in their right mind would wanna have four royals assassinated at once?" He also thought, 'And you'd have to be even more insane to try and kill said royals."

The largest of them, who seemed to be losing his temper responded, "Well we better fucking hope they're coming or it's all of our asses. An up and coming crime boss in the Greed Ring ordered this job. And it seemed personal, if we fuck this up we're all as good as dead. So if you'd be so kind as to SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'd appre-"

One demon wearing a cowboy hat interrupted, "Oi boss, is that the carriage we were told about?"

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(A/N yet another beautiful cliffhanger, it's enough to make a grown man cry🥹. See ya in the next chap!)

(1931 words) New record🌹