Light, Camera, Confusion

Synopsis:

Japan's most famous series, Naruto, was hailed by all ages; after all, who wouldn't want to be a discreet ninja who screams and creates a thousand copies of himself?

What nobody imagined, however, was the confusion that happened when actors, Kishimoto and a camera got together.

...

..

.

Moments of tension. The hero of the Ninja World, the number one, hyperactive, empty-headed ninja - there is no better and more convincing nickname for his strength there - was in front of his own mechanical image and with a simple height of five meters, ready to kill him at any moment. instant. But Uzumaki Naruto, the savior, was not afraid of anything - only Sakura - and therefore would save everyone with his strongest and most skilled jutsu, probably one of the only ones he knew how to use.

- Kage Bushin no Jutsu! - It couldn't be another jutsu.

Two clones appeared from clouds of smoke with frowns in apparent fury. Naruto and his copies ran with fire in his eyes - not literally, of course - towards the huge Mecha-Naruto - Godzilla's cheap copy. Everything was going perfectly well, they would hit the enemy in a heroic way when one of the clones slipped in a package of Doritos - who ate ... ah, Chouji - who was on the ground, falling beautifully on his butt.

- CUT! Shouted Kishimoto, the director and creator of that wonder. - Is that serious?

- That makes creating more fillers, sir. - said one of the extras who was filming the series. - Shall we skip that part?

- Of course not! After that, let's make the ninja ostrich filler! - the producers sighed, their boss had these crazy things sometimes. - A series is nothing without good fillers.

"Don't you think it's best to jump right into the Fourth War?"

- I'll pretend I didn't hear that so I wouldn't fire you, Rogério.

Poor Rogério, a misunderstood extras.

- How do you slide in a packet of snacks, 'ttebayo? Naruto crossed his arms, looking annoyed at his copy. - It's a red dot in the middle of the green chroma key. It doesn't work like that, Shino!

Shino removed the blonde wig, snorting. That was the third cut they made for the same scene. The first time, Shino forgot to close his sandals, falling to the floor; in the second, he punched the mechanical doll so hard that he felt all the blood in his body stop circulating; in the third, that fateful moment, slipped into Doritos' package. Life was far from easy.

- I just wanted a few more seconds of screen. He whimpered. - I don't think I'm a clone.

- Come on, Shino! - Said Hayate already without the wig that, after dying in the Chuunin Exam, decided to become a clone of the protagonist. - There must be ice around here.

Hayate took Shino by force to the dressing room. Naruto ruffled his hair with some irritation, deciding to leave the recording room. He had been recording for hours and had not even had time to eat his precious and greasy pork ramen - perhaps that was why he had applied for the role of protagonist. So, not even the main actor in the Naruto series had the easy routine, no, no.

Naruto, a blonde with blue eyes who coincidentally had the same name as the protagonist, greeted his colleagues through the halls of TV Tokyo. All the actors were acquaintances, many of them his friends from school; it's not a coincidence, no. They made a stupid bet when they were retarded teenagers entering puberty about taking an amateur audition to become actors. Conclusion: they worked for TV Tokyo. It would be beautiful, if they earned a good salary.

Doing what, worker life is not easy.

The dear protagonist decided to spend the free break doing what he liked most after eating ramen and acting: irritating people. He passed the first room he saw, the leisure room. Naruto came in anyway seeing Rock Lee, the most famous bowl-haired teenager with tattooed eyebrows in Japan, watching "Rock Lee vs. Gaara - Linkin' Park "for the tenth time. Why would he like to see his own fight to the sound of Linkin 'Park? Nobody knew.

Naruto ignored Lee rooting for himself and walked over to the redheaded figure sitting in the corner of the room drinking black tea while fiddling with the computer. The dim light from the screen illuminated his shaved eyebrows.

- Hi, Gaara! - greeted. - What are you doing?

- Hacking some American website. - He spoke as if it were as common as crying while cutting onions. - Lee still watching that stupid video?

- Yes - Lee let out a roar of satisfaction when he saw his "me" child beating Gaara child.

Very educational video recommended for all audiences.

- Ah, they only had fifteen thousand dollars. "Did Gaara happen to know how much a dollar was worth?" - Bag, I'm going to hack Samsung, Americans are not 'so with anything.

- Just out of curiosity, what do you do with all the money you steal?

- The most obvious thing in the world. - It made suspense. - Buy my action figures and, obviously, paint to touch up my tips. Oh, and black eyeliner, the strong ones. My beauty doesn't stand alone, you know?

What a waste, Naruto left the room before the madness hit him. I would toast everything with Teuchi-san's ramen.

Naruto then went to the next door, the dressing room. He found only Neji and Tenten being groomed by one of the maids who apparently tested new hairstyles on their guinea pigs. The hair from Hyuuga were full of flowers and barrettes, while Pucca's cosplay had only a tiara on the brown threads.

"Your hair is so beautiful, Neji," Tenten commented, looking at his own locks.

- I am beautiful - he reinforced the idea, admiring himself in the mirror. - perfect, captivating, intelligent, smart, modest, an eye candy! - Just out of curiosity, Neji is metrosexual. - You will never reach my level, Tenten.

You can see that Neji was very sincere too.

- Naruto-san! - The maid smiled hideously. - Join us! I'm sure a feathered hat will highlight your blue eyes and ...

- No, dear, thank you. - Denied quickly. Get away from me, witch. - Go on ... ah ... making Neji beautiful.

- One more admirer of good taste for my list, now it's 10384. - How did Neji memorize those numbers? Good question. - How many do you have, Tenten?

Neji loves to humiliate me, Tenten huddled in the corner, thinking of his humble 53 admirers. I need to do something that will leverage my image in the series, he thought to himself. I already know! I will ask to seal Uchiha Madara!

Naruto left before the maid tried to abuse his beautiful blonde locks.

There was still twelve minutes to go before the break ended, so he continued to stroll around the studio. His mouth felt dry, deciding to turn the aisle to go to the room reserved for the bar scenes that, coincidentally, also had drinks available. Entering the room, he was not surprised to see the pinguço trio played by the chairs.

- Shall we play guessing? - Jiraiya said.

Yes, Jiraiya, the so-called Ero-Sennin of the Naruto series, inspired by one of the most loved Japanese heroes in the world, wanted to play divination. That which gives childhood to spend beating one for porn magazines; then he wants to make up for everything by playing the elderly with a childlike spirit.

- I start! Shouted Orochimaru, completely beside himself. Those who think that the snake was the only one of the sannins who did not drink are mistaken. Orochimaru alone turned doses more than the two together. - On here! - He took two watermelons from Narnia, placing them close to his chest, tuning his voice. - Who am I, Jiraiya?

- Tsunade! - the pervert old man laughed. - It is perfect!

Tsunade, who was not aggressive only in the series, took the counter - yes, tore it off the floor - and used it as a weapon to beat her dear friends, who, as adults, were just laughing. Naruto rolled his eyes, remembering that Jiraiya was his grandfather.

- I'm glad I didn't get his stupidity - He shuddered at the thought.

Surprise yourself, Uzumaki Naruto is an idiot only in the series. In real life he is just an embarrassed teenager who is successful because he is a blond Japanese with blue eyes.

The thirst is gone. Naruto then decided to invade the other recording studio to see if he found a living soul - who had no mental retardation problems - to talk for the next ten minutes. Instead, he found Inuzuka Kiba shouting at a kneeling man, dressed entirely in neon green, barking at nothing.

If you thought the man was Aburame Shino, congratulations, you got it right.

- Urusai, Akamaru! - shouted to Akama ... Shino. - I'm sure we will hit the jutsu this time.

- Au, au, au - In the language of the dogs that meant: I can't stand you anymore, damn it, I'm going to take myself to the ninja cart.

Luckily, Kiba knew nothing about dogs. In fact, he didn't even like dogs, but his role forced him to pretend he was a canine lover. His opinion did not change anything when he discovered that the figurative dog could not stand a human sitting on his back. Therefore, Shino applied - again to have more screen seconds - for the position of giant Akamaru.

- Come on! - Naruto leaned against the doorframe. He loved the visual effects. - Gatsuga!

The extras threw green confetti across the stage while Kiba and Shino fumbled in the middle of the chroma, luckily they wouldn't show up in the middle of editing. The final scene only showed a huge stone - it reads: Styrofoam painted green - in pieces and Kiba and "Akamaru" celebrating the success of jutsu.

All very real, true - wow - but that was just a filler used to increase the budget for the series. They were so fucked up in finance that they had to cancel dubbing for other countries. Brazilians who struggle looking for episodes with subtitles out there.

- Just ignore. - Naruto turned to the voice, finding Hinata typing quickly on the Iphone. - They are retarded from birth.

- You also do not participate in the scene, 'ttebayo?

Hinata stopped chatting to her boyfriend - Toneri, a gray-haired man who in the future would be used as a pivot for a planned and completely cannon film -, staring at him with scorn. Her character's normal clothes were thrown in the corner of the room, leaving only a cool tank top that did not cover her body. Hinata hated her costume, so she always managed to get it out when the director wasn't looking.

- Female characters are not developed, remember? - Naruto nodded his head. Fateful, but real. - In fact, the boss decided: let's be the main couple.

Naruto's eyes widened.

- I swore I would break up with the bastard Sasuke! - Hinata agreed, everyone thought. - That story of running after your best friend always seemed to me to be repressed sexual tension, 'ttebayo.

- It was the council. - Naruto snorted, hated those old men. - They said that a gay couple would influence young viewers to follow the same path.

What?

- How will we develop as a couple if we barely have screen time together?

Hinata shrugged.

"Fillers," he replied as if it were obvious. - maybe a movie or two ...

Kiba called Hinata to discuss the next filler - something about chakra-sucking insects -, giving Naruto the opportunity to leave. His stomach rumbled, begging for carbs. He still had a good seven minutes to fill his belly before the last recording of the day; so he decided to go to the pantry.

On the way, he realized that the door to the disguise room was open, taking the opportunity to take a peek. He was not surprised to see the trio of old men arguing as usual.

- My cover is the best! Shouted Gai, stroking the large wig and thick mustache. - Simple and subtle, representing all the strength of my youth!

Youth in their forties, of course.

- Mine is much more elaborate. - Kakashi removed the brown hair wig. The purple patches were still on his pale face. The smile, however, did not come out. - Nobody realized who it was until I was revealed. Admit it, Gai, I will always win on and off the show.

- You are two losers. - Obito, or Tobi for the intimate, waved the lollipop mask between his fingers. - Tobi is the best actor in the entire series.

- You're overreacting.

- Tobi is a good boy. The voice forced. They had to admit, Obito was a great actor. - Tobi tells you to take it up the ass.

Tobi is a bad boy, thought Kakashi.

- Ah, honestly ...

- Get over it, Gai. - interrupted him. - I am better.

- But ...

- I'm the best actor in this shit! - exalted himself. - EXCEED!

In a second, the three of them were hitting each other in the middle of the room. Naruto rolled his eyes, closing the door slowly so as not to attract attention. The reality was that the three disguises sucked - it was the best thing I could do with the budget, and with that, look at the consequence, more fillers.

- Naruto-san is mine! The voice screamed so loudly that it passed the auditory barriers on the walls. Naruto frowned.

- He is mine! Another voice replied. - He hugged me in the movie!

- Great shit, we almost got married!

- I kissed you, losers.

Naruto decided to open the door - he started doing it wrong there. It was the small internal fan club formed by the girls who participated in the loose fillers - also used to separate the budget: Sara (from the demonic puppet film, where Naruto returned 20 years in the past), Shion (the crazy woman who killed everyone who lived with her) ), Isarabi (the first girl who kissed Naruto and no one remembers existence), Fuuka (the aunt who steals jutsu for the kiss) and Ryuuzetsu (the girl disguised as a Blood Prision man).

Your fangirls.

- NARUTO-SAN!

- Oh, hi. - smiled yellow. - Goodbye! - Closed the door. - Crazy ...

Five minutes to the break and Naruto finally saw the cup. The only thing he wanted to do was prepare an instant ramen and eat it in a hurry, feeling the carcinogenic taste take five years out of his system. But it was obvious that, in the case of Uzumaki Naruto, nothing in the drug of his life was normal.

- WHAT DID YOU CALL ME? - He hit the table hard. - SHANAROO!

- Calm down, testuda! - Ino held an angry Sakura by the long red hair. You didn't expect pink short hair to be natural, did you?

- If you haven't heard, I can repeat. - Sai smiled. As in the series, in real life he was also clueless. - Hag.

- AH!

Shikamaru pushed Sai aside, snuggling at the table. Chouji tried to explain it for the thousandth time the answer to the question of the test he had in college, but, try as he might, he understood nothing of what his friend - who, believe me, ate a lot, but was not fat; it was just filling - he said. Nara snorted.

- It's no use, Chouji. - He pushed the notebook. - I don't know anything about math, physics, logic ...

- How your character is so smart and you are so ...

- Donkey - Completed.

- I was going to say devoid of gray matter, but that also works.

- It's just a more gourmet way of saying that I suck, Chouji!

I'm going to leave here before idiocy becomes contagious, left the pantry, going to the games room with bar. He found the entire Akatsuki cast assembled. Deidara seemed to be cooking something while Konan braided his hair - no, it wasn't a wig - long; Kisame, Sasori and Zetsu - who were missing the black makeup they used to record - played; Hidan did satan ... Jashinist rituals - yes, and stem - in the corner; Kakuzu counted money; Nagato slept on the bar stool and Yahiko, Pain without fantasy, clapped her hands. But who did he clap for?

- HABATA ITARA - Naruto almost went deaf. - MODORANAI TO ITTTE!

Uchiha Itachi was scary in itself, especially when he fully embodied his character - especially in the very real scene in which he pretended to take his eyes off Sasuke while laughing malevolently. However, seeing him dancing and singing out of tune Blue Bird - Naruto Shippuden's third opening and perhaps the most loved by viewers - was far worse than any villain role.

And he was not embarrassed alone.

- MEZASHITA NO WA AOI AOI ANO SORA - he sang as out of tune as his older brother.

- What the fuck? Naruto whispered, dumbfounded.

Sasuke was his big inspiration inside the studio - but don't say that to him, probably the ego would rise so high that it would come out of the duck's own head. However, his respect for the Uchiha decreased almost completely when he saw that ridiculous scene.

- Ah, I won again! - Itachi celebrated when he saw the result of the karaoke fight. - I'm always the best, otouto.

Mental note: Uchihas, without exception, are proud and have egos that can pop out of their heads.

- Baka, let's go again!

- Hi, Teme! - Naruto caught his attention. Sasuke smirked when he saw him. - The next recordings will take place in two minutes.

- There's still time for an ending, Dobe, just a minute ...

- Not! - Sasuke pouted. - Stop your tantrums, Uchiha, we have to record the Tsukuyomi Infinito scene.

Sasuke snorted, dropping the microphone on the floor. Itachi did the same, going to the dressing room to get ready, after all he would also participate in the scene and it should be perfect to shine for the cameras.

- Is it the one that I leave the village to overcome otou-san?

"I don't know if it's related to Fugaku-san or something," he smiled. - but in all cases the emo that revolts is you, Sasuke-Teme.

The Uchiha snarled under his breath. He had tried to make some changes to his character's storyline, like changing his hair style or Konoha's escape, but Kishimoto didn't open any gaps for changes in his script. It is worth mentioning that Masashi changed the whole story just so that Itachi would be considered the hero of the Fourth War in the future.

That was the shit of being the little brother.

- You only say that because you're the damn protagonist!

- You are too frowning to be the hero, you would scare the poor children. - Sasuke rolled his eyes. - Yes, that face! Who sucked lemon with salt!

- Lemon with salt?

- I don't know, it looks bad - He made a face.

- I don't know the lemon - His stride was obstructed. - but my cupcakes are perfect, hn.

Naruto stared at the fluffy dumplings filled with icing and sprinkles. They looked really appetizing.

- They look cute. - Naruto took one of them. - Won't you, Teme?

- I hate sweets, Usuratonkachi.

- They are very cute! - Naruto confirmed, savoring the sweet taste just right. - They're cute because I beat the dough with all my anger, hn.

What?

After wasting a minute and a half with the cupcakes, Naruto and Sasuke ran to the recording studio - Kishimoto hated delays. Upon arriving in the room, the first thing they saw was Minato and Kushina, the most cannoned and acclaimed heterosexual couple in the series, arguing.

- What did you say, Minato?

Kushina's natural auburn hair flew upward, contrasting with her black eyes in complete anger and hatred. Minato considered himself a dead man.

- What happened this time?

- Minato-san said that Kushina-san could not participate in a fight scene. - a little boy in a red cap said. - She was furious, you know.

What does the immortal brat do here? Sasuke thought.

- Shouldn't you be recording your series, 'ttebayo?

- I got fired, I came to get my things. He snorted. - The boss saw my mustache.

- Which Ash were you?

Little Ash - or rather, old Ash - sighed. As his character was 10 years old forever, they needed children and not teenagers exhaling hormones and emotions from puberty. Another Ash would be hired in his place and he would probably become a voice actor for anime extras. He had even given his resume to Kishimoto, who agreed to let him narrate the ninjas of the Fourth War.

It is worth mentioning that Pokémon was one of the most famous series on TV Tokyo together with Naruto, of course.

- Number 567. - He shook his head, that was past. - You can call me Wellington now.

- Wellington?

- Is my name.

- Are you a brat or a 65 year old man with lordosis, 'ttebayo?

- NARUTO! Kushina's voice echoed through the studio. Shit! - What did you say about good old people?

Rikudou from heaven ...

- Let's get ready for the recording! - Kishimoto took the black and white pet clapperboard. - Light ...

- I save you, my son - Minato ran, holding Kushina by the shoulders.

- Camera ...

- I'll punch them both! She broke free from her husband's grasp.

Minato and Naruto looked at each other, closing their eyes and surrendering to imminent death by Uzumaki Kushina, the Bloody Pepper. The smaller blond tried to ask for help to Sasuke, his best friend and companion of all hours, but the Uchiha was very well distracted talking about pokémons and bijuus with Ash-Wellington. They just had to wait for the attack.

- Action!

Shino touched the red button to pause the recording, smiling victoriously. He had recorded all of Naruto's routine and the studio's craziness. When posting that video on the internet, it would certainly be recognized and its name would be acclaimed by all fans. Without thinking twice, he posted it.

He just didn't have the possibility of being logged in, not on his account, but on Rogério, the extra filmmaker.

- I'm famous! He shouted cheerfully.

Shino cringed in the corner. He just wanted to be famous.

In the end, Shino was just an extra who witnessed the confusion of TV Tokyo studios.