Prologue: Where Kakashi waits in line and gets special treatment
Disclaimer: Naruto and Percy Jackson and the Olympians are not mine.
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Hatake Kakashi is pretty sure he died.
He distinctly remembers getting the brunt of Pein's attack and, as good as he is, Kakashi knows that even he – the copy-nin, master of a thousand techniques – can't possibly survive the sheer intensity of that jutsu.
With this in mind, Kakashi doesn't have a clue as to why or how he woke up unwillingly waiting in line for something he can't fathom with people he doesn't really recognize or know.
He attempted to escape or cut in line but, strangely, his body doesn't heed his command.
In resignation, Kakashi tried asking the people around him for information instead – at least to know what they're waiting for – however; they don't seem to understand his repeated questions and persisted to speak in a language he couldn't discern. For a while, he sought to crack the code to pass the time because the line was slow-going, but Kakashi got fed up with it quickly when he realized that most, more or less, only repeated a sentence or phrase again and again. Without proper context, his new endeavor was quite fruitless and what he learned was pitiful at best.
He still doesn't know what "Fucku" or "Shiet" mean.
Since Kakashi can't understand and communicate, he deduces his situation with the use of observation.
From his estimation, it seems like he really is either dead, insane or bad at counting since he'd been able to wait in line for approximately two weeks without the need for food or sleep - a feat that is deemed impossible even with experience and use of chakra. Since Kakashi doesn't fancy the idea of insanity, he decides that he must be in his afterlife. (The 'bad at counting' option shouldn't even be considered because he's Hatake Kakashi for kami's sake and he's not far gone enough to act like an amateur.)
Dubbing his afterlife as the "Pure World" – because that's what other shinobis call the land where souls reside, and if he's not there then where the heck is he?! –, Kakashi personally thinks that his afterlife sucks. He used to think that when he died, he'd get to see the precious people he'd lost, but instead he gets something like this. Fate must have a grudge against him or something.
This idea is reinforced when he reaches the end of the line and is met by a relatively good-looking man that disturbingly reminds him of Orochimaru of the Sannin. With the man's bleached blond hair and tan skin, one wouldn't make the comparison at first glance. However, Kakashi's more discerning than most and can practically feel the inhumanness – the lack of humanity wafting from the creature. It's on par – perhaps even eons above – the mad S-Rank shinobi who made human-experimentation and soul bastardization a living.
"Yo." Kakashi greets casually. "Can I ask why I'm here exactly?"
Surprisingly, the man replies in the same language. "Oh. A foreigner, I see. I haven't seen anyone like you for a long time. Don't you know?" Pausing dramatically, the man continues in a sober manner. "You're dead."
Kakashi rolls his one eye at the man for stating the obvious. "Duh. I know that already. I'm asking what I'm waiting in line for." Surveying the man up and down, taking in the suit and the ridiculous tortoiseshell shades, he continues, seemingly unimpressed. "No offense, but are you supposed to be Kami? I'm honestly disappointed."
Bristling at the dismissive tone, the man coughs pointedly to change the subject. Straightening his suit, he says in a no-nonsense tone, "I'm Charon. I escort souls so they can meet their judgement. What would be your preferred mode of payment? You have to pass through me before you can-."
Charon stops abruptly and gapes when Kakashi ignores him and walks to the boat behind Charon leisurely. Snatching the back of Kakashi's flak jacket, Charon proceeds to scold the upstart, but is startled when Kakashi lets out a huge wave of killing intent.
"Unhand me immediately." Kakashi says quietly. Coldly warning not to push him over the edge. Although Kakashi doesn't look like he minds where he is presently, he's been seething internally for a while. Only his innate restraint as a ninja cautions him to tread carefully.
Kakashi never really liked being manhandled.
Charon tenses and scowls. Although he knows that this spirit can't possibly hurt him, he's still wary at the otherworldly aura he emits. Lifting Kakashi easily like a particularly mischievous cat back to the line, Charon continues. "You need to pay before you can ride that."
Swiping at Charon's head viciously, Kakashi gets a good hit in – bruising the other man's cheekbone – before he is pinned by the neck and frozen stiff at the coldness of Charon's glare. His self-preservation instincts that sadly abandoned him a while ago make a comeback with a vengeance as they whisper how dangerous and unnatural the creature in front of him is.
Crooning dangerously, Charon says softly with a decidedly snake-like smile. "You'd do well to learn how to control yourself, boy."
Letting go of Kakashi roughly, Charon fixes his blonde hair and rumpled coat sharply –tugging out non-existent specks of dust. Focusing on Kakashi's form intently, he is somewhat satisfied at the look of wariness at the young man's eyes. However, the stare-off is apparently taking too long. The people waiting in line behind Kakashi begin to protest. Loudly.
"Are you wasting our time or what?" one shouts from behind.
"Get on with it."
"Hell, get a room and kiss already."
Both twitch at the last remark. Kakashi, although unfamiliar with the language used, can at least accurately deduce from the tone that it's most likely a derogatory statement. He's appeased at least when Charon, letting a bit of his power leak out, commands loudly. "Silence!"
The grudging mutters stops abruptly.
Charon waits for a moment, but with no reply from Kakashi, he continues. "Well, if you're not going to pay, then get out of my sight." Turning to the next one in line, he proceeds to speak his customary offer, but is interrupted by a shrill voice of a Fury.
"Oi Charon, you tight-ass!" an old and wrinkly thing with wings shouts with a screech. "Lord Hades especially asked for this one. Get him in the boat immediately."
Without waiting for Charon's reply, the Fury lifts up Kakashi in the air and deposits him inside the boat. Kakashi shrie– ahem manly screams in response but manages to at least land gracefully on his feet. He averts his eyes at the Fury who toothily grins at him and focuses instead on the mutinous look on Charon's face.
Although admittedly bad for his well-being, Kakashi can't help the smug look under his mask. He tries to wipe it off, but according to the increasingly agitated look on the Charon's face, he hasn't quite succeeded.
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The journey through the river is strangely fun. The change in Charon's appearance to a cloaked, withered old man with eyes like dark pits make Kakashi start at first, but he got used to it quickly enough.
He tolerates the er–hungry stares from the strange flying creature he remembers seeing earlier too. It's not like he can do anything about it.
The open Icha-Icha – the rare edition one with tentacles and slime by the ever venerable Jiraiya-sama – floating in the dark and murky river probably contributed the most to the enjoyable experience though.
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Kakashi thinks he prefers an angry withered homicidal Charon than this strange hybrid of a fangirl who's currently hanging off his arm.
When his mask is taken off after showing the three-headed dog who's Alpha, the creepy winged creature actually swoons and attaches itself to him like a tattoo to skin.
Kakashi doesn't get himself out of its hold for the fear of the wrath of a scorned woman.
As they cruise towards weird places like the Fields of Asphodel, Fields of Punishment and 'Tartarus', Kakashi can't help but cringe as he realizes that this is probably his first date with anyone in general. With all the missions Kakashi has been through, he's been too busy to form relationships aside from casual flings in the red-light district.
He doesn't know if he's any different from the souls or ghouls shrieking all around him or not. Kakashi's actually betting on the latter, because in his own opinion, what he's experiencing is a special brand of torture in and of its own.
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When the strange monster then clings to him closer than what he thought physically possible, Kakashi seriously considers exchanging places with the man in the hot tub enjoying freaky singing. Although the sound's annoyingly high and admittedly grating, the grimacing man have it better since he doesn't have the torturer practically plastered on his form.
He quickly discards the idea though when he sees the calculating glint in the she-beast's eyes.
Kami knows it would probably backfire and make this experience more hellish.
Kakashi's face grows increasingly horrified as his thoughts veer to wrinkly bikinis and soggy skin.
When Kakashi sees the ridiculously tall pale man in what appears to be a throne room, he wants to kiss him in gratitude for taking the horrendous fan-girl off him. Fortunately, he has enough sense not to do so when he realizes the sheer power this person has. Heck, this person could easily rival and surpass Pein – the self-proclaimed Kami-sama in the Elemental Nations with his Rinnegan and ability to revive as well as destroy thousands of life on a whim.
Kakashi wonders if he should bow or not.
"Hatake Kakashi." A deep voice rumbles. "I'm Hades, Kami of the underworld."
Kakashi nods in acknowledgement and respect. Noting the mesmerizing dark eyes, writhing screaming clothes, and panther-like grace of the creature before him, Kakashi tenses accordingly and straightens his posture.
"You have come here to our world because, according to Thanatos, a passing shinigami in your realm stole you before your time and brought you here. You were not supposed to die yet however, we can't get you back due to technicalities." Frowning thoughtfully, Hades continues. "Have you ever heard of the Pure World?"
"Yes, Hades-sama."
"That is where the souls of brave shinobi pass, however, since you were snatched before you could get there, Thanatos and I decided on a compromise." Standing up like a predator, Hades saunters closer to Kakashi who stiffens cautiously at the action. "If you were to live and die again as a hero, you would be back to where you should be. Do you understand?"
"Hai."
Without further ado, Kakashi is once again lifted against his will and transported into a pretty blue lake with nary a warning or a thought. Refraining himself from cursing, he hears one last reply from the Kami before he passes out.
"Tsk. I forgot to bring him to the River of Lethe."
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On a particularly late and tense evening, at the barracks of a military outpost, a seemingly frail woman screams loudly as she gives birth to her child. Many military men tremble and whisper worriedly at the tortured sound as they wait outside the building. This ruckus continues until everything falls silent.
Several minutes pass tensely. A firm voice breaks the silence as it asks a question, uncharacteristically trembling. "Is my baby, okay?"
The doctor who is handling the birthing process smiles hesitantly before replying. "Yes, ma'am. Although strangely quiet, your baby's fine. She's just a bit tired."
"She? It's a girl?" the mother says in wonder.
"Yes." Passing the newborn to her mother, the doctor backs up a bit to give them space.
Smiling gently at the bundle in her arms, the mother says softly. "I'm going to call you Amirah."