Alone

(Warning: Mildly sensitive)

Sebastian p.o.v

Alexis left the room to let me deal with my silence alone. I dragged my feet towards the window and peeked outside.

The view of two love birds standing in the garden,  locking their lips with each other made me envious in my heart.

I'm more powerful, handsome, and wealthy than Alexis but I still felt more impoverished than him on the account of love and feelings.

At least he found someone with true feelings, who is ready to die for him, and here I'm fighting with my demon of loneliness.

I always wonder what kind of feeling would be to love someone that made you fearless even to your death.

But no matter how much wealth we owned, we are beggars in the matter of love and feelings.

Our life is short and unpredictable and Alexis knew this well and that's the reason he grabbed the opportunity to be with someone.

Alexis is one of my most loyal men and there are not many I trusted. He is one of those whom I can trust my life without any hesitation and on the other hand, Sofia is nothing to me in his comparison.

Out there are many women who are ready to do anything for me and I knew it is all because of status.

But still, there are only twenty in my northern wing and fifteen from them only to entertain my special guests and these fifteen know nothing about me.

They never stepped inside the main Castle. I only reserved five for myself and these women never expected anything from me and that's the best part of the deal.

They understand why they are here, they do their job and left without any emotional drama at all and I respected these women for their charity.

They were just like my assassins who are loyal and ready to do anything for me. They took our demons without any complaint in exchange for protection and peaceful life and provide us with some tranquility.

But I respect more those women who choose to be an assassin than be a piece of entertainment as Remeta, Natasha, Aurora, Sage, and Freya these women are the best assassins in my squad of twenty and they are free to live their life unless it doesn't bring any harm to the gang.

Women are respectful, adorable, and loyal but in my twenty-eight years of life, I craved a single soul who can make my heart go wild, who can control my heartbeat with her smile, and who loved me as crazy as Sofia does to Alexis.

I must say Alexis is one lucky ba$terd. 

I'm feeding on my thoughts while gaping out of the window, suddenly I heard the sound of a knock at my door. The knock is a single to assure the person behind the door is 'Rosalie'.

" Come in "

A loud command from me as she opened the door and entered the room. She is wearing a red dress and owned beautiful skin, thick brown hair, and light blue eyes with full lips.

She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen but still, it is not enough for me to kiss her or adore her as a partner, she is just a tool for my needs.

" Good evening..... master"

She bowed her head and greet me in her sweetly and waited for my instructions.

" Pour me some wine Rose and placed it on the table."

She does as I ordered and after that, without wasting a single moment she removed her clothes and bend on the couch.

And yes, these women are smart enough to know what to do, without enunciating a single word.

I don't touch her and never remove my clothes just dig inside her. The room filled with my groans but never a single moan escaped from her mouth. She trained well for this. I let her go as soon as I finished, I'm sweating so she is.

" Clean the room before leaving Rose"

I instructed her as I strode toward the bathroom.

" Yes....master"

l heard her vulnerable response from behind. I entered the restroom and get rid of my sweaty clothes to take a bath.

S*x is just working as a momentary escape from my reality, it's not a permanent solution. But this is all I have, just a fu*k not an ounce of love.

I stepped out of the restroom and examine my room. Rose is not there as I expected and she cleaned the room too. 

I plopped on the couch and grabbed the wine glass which she placed on the table earlier and drink the content with one go.

Then I lit up a cigar and pick up the intercom to dial Daniel's room code. He answered the line in the first ring.

" I'm going to attend a banquet, tomorrow and for my security, I'm counting on you, Daniel. Get ready sharp at seven in the morning, I need to attend some meetings before, the banquet.

Did you get it? "

I acknowledged Daniel about my schedule over the line in a monotone.

" Yes master"

He answered me firmly and I cut the line immediately. I knew it is rude but that's what made me...me.

I smocked out the stick while sitting on the couch. I'm lost in my thoughts again and throw my head back to let it rest over the headrest.

After a while, I get under the cover and tried to get some sleep but it's like asking something more than you allowed.

Sleep is a luxury to me and whenever I shut my eyes, their blood-covered faces started to wander in my head.

Even after twisting and turning for some time, I decided to sit and write something. It's one of the habits I developed in my defiance.

I opened the drawer from the night table beside my bed and grabbed a journal from it. I held the pen and think about the woman I love the most who used to advise me about life.

And recalling her golden words, I decided to build a small rhyme with them.

" Alone "

In birth

In death

In life

You are alone

In pain

In Suffering

In surviving

You are alone

In Happiness

In tear

In fear

You are alone

In crib

In coffin

In the middle of both

You are alone

These are my mother's words, maybe she lives too closely her life to figure out the truth of it.

I still remembered her beautiful oval-shaped face, the forced soft smile on her lips, and the loneliness in her eyes.

After finishing my writing, I placed the journal back in the drawer and tried to drift into my darkness.