Chapter Ninety three

The pain of leaving him behind wax ripping me apart, but I have to there was nothing left for me again and staying behind with him was like I was cheating myself likewise Sunny. I stood outside my balcony, staring at the house that I thought I wouldn't come back to again.

But here I was, back to the square base. I wiped the tears that has appeared in my eyes I was back to the very first step I took just because of one person, I clenched my fist and swore. Calming myself a bit I pulled the door open, the place was a little bit dusty, I have to get myself busy. I have to build my life to revenge Sam for this, he took away my happiness and I wanted to take away more than his happiness, I dropped my bag on the floor and went to the kitchen where I had once lived with my daughter.

"What would she be doing now, how was she doing? I just need to know, I need to get to my Sunny" it just hurt, I can't live without her, I moved to the wall near the counter there was her handwriting "I love Mummy so much" was written in a childish scribbled. I laughed and at the same time burst out crying. "Mummy loves you the more and I'm going to prove to everyone that Sam is just a cheat, a goddamn monster. I stare at the writing for some minutes tracing my hand on the writing and letting the warmth fill my heart.

I swept and scrubbed the whole house drawing the window open for light to braced the house when I was done it was already late at night maybe a walk would help, I just needed to clear my head and what next I was going to do. I need to think straight but even doing that hurts as if there was a hole left deep in my heart. I put on my coat and jeans, I just wished that this would be enough to hide me away from the world to make me invisible. But that wouldn't help to cure my pain " I don't know if I can survive this" I whispered leaning on the wall to support myself "How I'm I going to survive a life without my child after years of nurturing and bringing her up". She was a part of my life now and theirs no way I'll just give up on her and resign to this cruel fate.

I walked into the cold night, walking slowly and bracing my heart to the wind. I looked up in the sky not knowing if any of my prayers ever reached up, not knowing if the Supreme being ever recognized or count me as one of his creatures. I wanted to shout out loud, wanted to draw his attention toward me then I'll ask him why he would allow my only child, my only joy be taken away from me, I just wanted to know if he ever loved me. 

I walked till my feet hurt I didn't know where I was walking or heading to, I just wanted to walk, maybe I'll find a way to escape from all the pain that seems to strike my heart. I dragged my hand through my hair and walked toward a bench I saw ahead of me, I sat there and looked into the street. A lot of people who didn't care or want to care about your problem, I watched as couples walked hand in hand and passerby. They seem so in love, so foolishly in love that I had once felt for that monster.

There was a time I had taken a walk with him when I was so blind with his love and didn't even want to know the foolishness of the decision I was taking. I shook my head and sign, I didn't want to remember anything about him. As much as I wanted to curse the day I felt met him on the subway, I couldn't bring myself to do so all because of Sunny. If he didn't come into my life Sunny wouldn't have been here with me, but now he has stolen the only thing that has kept me going in life.

I turned and my eyes caught a mother with her child. For a brief second, I thought it was Sunny, I had wanted to rush over and take my daughter away from an unknown danger. But when they have come into a clear view my heart ranked again, it wasn't her, it wasn't my baby, tears threatened again to slip out from my eyes but I sniffed it back and lay back with my eyes shut. 

" Did someone break your heart? Yeah, it's so common for men to go that" I jerked my eyes open and stare at the insane woman beside me. "Run!! My inside screamed at me but I was so tired to run or so anything my mind was telling me. I lay back my head again and shut my eyes

"You should have given him the beating of his life and come and live with me, I wouldn't leave you like him" she laughed enjoying the sound Of her voice I think so, I didn't spare her anymore glance I just shut my eyes and tried to deal with my pain, I wonder if Andrew has seen the later east would be his reaction? He would probably hate me for this but this was the right thing to do now the very best, I can't keep deceiving the both of us knowing that I wouldn't let the marriage happen again.

I remembered taking my baby to the part, to the supermarket thoroughly someone has broken my heart and the next question is what will I do that person?  "Sunny I'm coming for you, mummy is coming they wouldn't  succeed in taking you away from me, never"