Chapter Ninety four

It was almost midnight when I made my way home, wrapping my coat tightening around me to chide me from the cold. The street now was empty with few people making their way home or somewhere where their be someone who would be at the door with a happy face to welcome them back home.

Thinking of it drove pain in my chest, their was no one to welcome and calm my aching heart. I slowed my pace hating to go home and sleep alone but this was the decision that I have made, after this night I have come to realization of what I want and what I'm going to do since the world haven't been fair to me and has shown no mercy then their was no readon for me to be fair.

The last thing I expected this night is to see Andrew seated at my porch with head resting on his knees. Immediately he held the noise he brought his face up to stare at me with a painful expression "Becca, he called out standing on his feet. I shook my head and walked past him. " I don't want to see or speak to you now" I tried to openy door but he held my hand. "Becca, please I understand how your feeling but please don't leave I need you" he pleaded holding me firmly "I don't I need anyone now, the only person I need now is my baby" I turned and glared at him, I know it wasn't his fault but I couldn't help but feel miserable and messed up.

"Becca, you can't just decided to let our dream together shatter please I need you don't do this". " It has already shattered when my daughter was taken away from me, do you understand that? I tried to make him lose his grip from me. "I love you Becca". Tears appeared at the corner of my eyes threatening to fall, I sniffed it back and turned toward him again.

" I love you, I do" the tears that I was holding back slipped down my eyes. "Then why are you leaving, leaving all our dream and love". " Because all that doesn't mean anything without my daughter, the future and is called dream can't be fulfilled when my daughter isn't by my side.

Andrew stood and stare at me with a hurt expression without saying anything I felt like reaching out to him to hold on to him but doing that would be going back to him, I can't just live knowing that It was all a charad their was nothing to live for anymore. "I'm sorry Andrew, I had enjoyed our time together but now their's nothing for me again I can't keep this relationship again". " No, don't say that! He half yelled clenching his fist tightly  "Theirs a whole lot of things Installed for you, you can't just give up and let everything you've plan...we've plan together just shattered....please Becca". Tears rolled down his eyes, it was so unbearable to stare but I can't do what his asking of me. 

I shook my head and step back from his grip. "I'm not giving up on anything just their is nothing even their to hold on to, I love you but... I can't go back to you, this world or fate...will I say was never fair to me...maybe if I have you again someone else would snatch you away from me". " This is all a lie Becca, no one is going to take me away from you and you should stop saying all...  "Andrew... I called cutting off his last word " we can't be together I'm very sorry it ended up like this..." I let the years go watching Andrew would didn't know the perfect word to say or act to make me change my mind then I did the only thing in my mind, this might be the last time. I reached up to him and kissed him first it was brief but then he held tightly letting his lips say all the things he couldn't saying in words, I respond him with tears sliding out from my ears.

I willed myself to let go, to push him away slightly I wasn't making it any easier this way. "I'm sorry" I mouthed and turn to push the door open but stopped midway. "And please... I turned to look into his eyes which begged me to turn back to the part and decision I was making. " Don't come for me" with this I turned away from him shutting the door with him still stand there in pain.

I felt numb, felt empty, I wanted to cry and shout out into the room but I couldn't I just stare at the dark space with a shattered and broken heart. "I'm sorry Andrew, I'm sorry Becca" I lean my back to the door and slide down, shutting myself out felt as it was the best now.

You can't do this! Emily shouted at me. "Why? I asked staring at my daughter's Bunny. " Because you can't give up everything you want and built because someone else has custody of your daughter". "Really? It that simple? I asked in anger. " It is not but you have to live not just exist, you have a life ahead of you and you don't have to think that Sunny Is gone, Sunny is still here, you can reach out to her she isn't dead, that's why you have to live Becca! Please! Emily pleaded almost loosing it.

"You... You don't get it, you don't understand the pain of having your baby taken away from you, she'ss not dead but every moment I spent without her hurts". " And did you think you're the only person hurting, did you think others don't feel the pain, we are your family and we understand the pain and everything your passing through, you don't gave to push us away just let us in, let us in Becca to soothe away your pain and be there for you, please".