Permission to Go

Vera turned around. "We'll see! We never pay for the birth of two babies at once. You know that, honey! They're going to cost a lot. We're going to need to buy more milk. Believe it won't work!" Vera said in a choked voice.

But Vera knew she didn't mean what she said. She asked from the bottom of his heart if he would mind having twins. The answer is, he doesn't mind at all! Who doesn't love having two cute and look-alike kids? Seeing both, can be a satisfaction in itself. But on the other hand, it's two little critters who will need extra clothes, lots of food, and all the other trifles. All that is not a problem if they are able to suffice it.

Vera secretly felt guilty. But isn't it Vera or even Matthew who is to blame for suffering from all kinds of shortcomings that befall him? They never chose to be created poor.

Matthew hugged his wife tighter. He also experienced the same thing. But he was sure, the two of them would get through it together.

"I know that, baby...! And I promise, we'll get through this well!"

***

Matthew watched Vera who was preparing lunch for him without commenting. Vera's eyes were still puffy. Matthew was sure Vera didn't sleep last night. She lay with her back to him, so Matthew couldn't tell whether Vera had really closed her eyes or not. But several times Matthew caught Vera's head shaking. And though softly, Matthew could also hear Vera's sobs. He wanted to stroke Vera's hair to calm his heart. But he knew it wasn't the right time.

Yesterday, after dinner, Matthew had said that he had made up his mind to work at Warrandyte.

"You didn't hold me?" Matthew asked cluelessly. To her surprise, Vera didn't show any reaction of rejection.

"Well..., I can't stop your wish! You know that, ask yourself!"

"I didn't really mean to..."

"I know!" cut Vera quickly. He lifted the last dirty plate from the table into the kitchen.

"Then?" said Matthew quickly. He jumped, preventing Vera's steps.

"Are you asking me to stop you? Are you not sure about your decision yet?" Vera knew Matthew was trying to persuade her. He is trying to get support. Or vice versa, they would argue all night long. Free! Vera was sure that Matthew had a thousand good reasons to suppress Vera's disapproval of his decision. Matthew would win and that would also be a kind of signal that "Vera should have backed him too."

Matthew stared at Vera's back. "So you allow?"

Vera just shrugged, then she continued walking past Matthew who was just speechless.

"I'll be home soon!" Matthew promised, when Vera handed him a box of bread to eat for the trip.

Vera is silent. Then she started crying again. He knew he had no right to blame Matthew for his decision. Matthew meant it well. It is proof that he really cares about family life. If Vera keeps holding on, it means she is selfish. The situation would not be as difficult as this if they did not live in a circle of poverty line.

These last days Vera felt like she had cried too much. His eyelids darkened slightly and his cheeks looked even thinner. The twins knew the change. Cassie, the most sensitive, rubbed her mother's eyelids as she slept. When Vera woke up, Cassie flashed her angelic smile while saying there were dark circles in her eyes.

Vera tried to smile. Her lips trembled, while her tears were still falling. He promised, the guts this time and next, he must be more resilient. These are all trials. And as Matthew said, they would get through it together.

He then remembered that night, when he had spoken of his anxiety about having two children at once. And after that, it was proven that they could get through it well. Even if it meant Matthew had to work overtime and work a few more hours each day. At first Vera felt lonely. She realized that she often lost the figure of her husband in the afternoon.

When evening came, Vera stared at the orange-red dusk. Like a cut on his chest. But his longing was replaced by the presence of Carren and Cassie who were small and cute. They always make him lose track of time. It doesn't feel like every day goes like that. For months. Vera got used to it.

"Be careful, dear!" Vera said as she hugged Matthew's body.

Matthew waved his hand as he was about to get into his car. He looked at Vera's face, as if seeking reassurance. Vera smiled and raised her hand.

"Go! I will look after the children for you!"

Matthew nodded. Sadness filled his chest. He drove his car.

Vera stood straight behind him without flinching. Until Matthew's car disappeared around the corner. He took a deep breath before walking back into the house.

"Carren... Cassie... do you want to go to the park today?" Vera asked. His face began to look cheerful. She would wait for her husband Matthew to come home, just for her and their two children.

***

Matthew did not expect the interview process to be this easy. And he felt he had done well. The part where he talks about his role as Rover is what earned him the most appreciation.

Coming out of the interview room, there was a feeling of pride and a bit of arrogance. He passed another applicant who was waiting for his turn to be interviewed. Their faces looked worried. Matthew knew what would make them even more depressed, if he had told him what had happened to him in the room.

At the end of the selection, the three interviewers experienced warm and friendly hands. Matthew felt, it was a welcome greeting to him. And when one of them said that the notification letter would be sent as soon as possible, Matthew couldn't wait to see his name listed as a potential applicant who passed to the next stage. Honestly he felt it would be more profitable if this selection was held consecutively in one day, because there was no need to go back and forth to this city.

Warrandyte is actually a beautiful city. Everything here is natural. The Yarra River, very different from the one he had always seen in Philadelphia, ran through the city. Native natural rocks and greenery thrive on both sides of the river.