Chapter Nine

Breanna moved to South Carolina with her father, older brother, and little brother to Nemo's house. While she hated it, she tried to adapt. It wasn't long before she stirred up trouble again. She was back in a bad relationship and was convinced that she wanted to be emancipated. It still isn't clear why this happened. Maybe she was tired of being angry and tired of feeling like she didn't matter. Maybe she wanted to get better now because she could feel that her father was already taking the steps. He had an issue with alcohol, which made sense. He was raising three children after the death of his wife.

The trouble that Breanna had stirred up ended badly. Her father took her downtown two weeks after they had moved. Breanna had no idea where they were and Paul was very upset. He said a lot of things that Breanna can no longer remember, but a few things stuck with her for a few years. "Your mother may have died, but she was my best friend." This was something that destroyed Breanna and she didn't know how to move passed it. After Paul went on a two hour rant, he left Breanna in the middle of downtown with fifty cents and a granola bar. It was at least ninety degrees outside and she wore black clothes. He also took her phone so that she couldn't contact anyone. She told him "That's alright. There are plenty of cars for me to jump in front of." At that moment, she meant what she said. She had promised her father that she would die before she hit the age of eighteen and she wanted to keep to that promise.

Breanna walked around downtown for a while and eventually came up with the idea to ask someone for their phone. The moment she asked, she burst into tears. Maybe she had held onto so much for too long and the fear that she was alone in a strange place caught up to her. She eventually got the number to her current boyfriend at the time and contacted him to tell him what had happened. Her plan was to get to the airport and fly to him when she could. Breanna looked to the sky to see a plane and decided which direction to go. When she got to a bridge over the marsh land, she contemplated jumping off. She wanted to give up, but thought that it wasn't her time. She made it to a hotel and asked to use their phone and asked for a bottle of water. The police were called and when they arrived to talk to Breanna, they told her that if her father didn't show up, they would take her to the airport. He did show up, though. He took her home and they didn't speak much for at least two weeks.

Breanna doesn't hold anything against her father now, but she used to believe that he hated her. She used to believe that he wanted her gone and that if she was, he would be happy. From then on, she tried to focus on herself. She wanted to get better even if she didn't believe that she would. She didn't know how to move forward in life and she always felt like she was being left behind. She felt like everyone else was doing so much better and that she would always be five steps behind. How could she not? Everyone else did seem to be better and coping. She was the only one constantly wishing for death.