Chapter Fourteen

In August 2020, when Breanna was nineteen, she moved to Virginia with the hope of fixing her life. She was determined. She would get a job, lose more weight (her menstrual cycle stopped for six months due to being overweight and messed up hormones), go back to school, and do what she wanted to do in life. She moved in with someone she had met when she was seventeen because they had grown closer while she lived with her grandmother. Things escalated between them quickly and not because she wanted them to. Her new roommate was Morris and he had recently gotten out of a relationship with someone he believed he loved. He wanted a rebound and Breanna was so confused with everything, she thought that maybe he would learn to love her. She was wrong. He only wanted her for her body. He didn't want her for who she was.

Breanna tried to be his friend and be helpful any way that she could. He soon tried to start controlling her, wanting her to clean up a house that hadn't been cleaned in ages, wanting her to do the dishes, and be there for him even if he got off of work at midnight. Breanna was working herself and by the time she walked to and from work and dealt with work, she was too tired and stressed to be his house wife. After he tried to use her for her body several times, she told him that they could only be friends. He still tried to get her out of her clothes often even though he told her that she wasn't good enough for him. About two weeks after she moved, her depression was at it's peak. She told Morris that she was going to hang herself from a cell tower in three days time and he shrugged at her. She saw this as her sign and continued with her plans. On the day that she was planning to do it, she met up with someone she met of an app called Bumble. The app didn't work well on her phone, but she tried anyway. She was desperate to find a reason to keep going.

She walked to a park a few miles away where she would meet this person. She didn't really want to go, but thought that maybe this was what she needed. She waited an hour and a half and figured that the guy stood her up. She didn't have service on her phone so she couldn't see where the guy was or if he had decided not to come. Breanna walked on a little wall, studying her shoes and dress. Her hair was growing out into an afro because she had cut it. She wanted it to grow out and was in the awkward stage of the process. Breanna was hot and slightly irritated, but she held onto the hope that she had. Close to two hours, a black car pulled up. She wouldn't look because she figured that it wasn't the person that she waited for. It was, though. He walked down the few steps to her and as he got closer, she looked up. The first thing she felt was hidden pain. It made her stop and look to his eyes. Breanna was fascinated by eyes, but she was always creeped out by them. She believed that the eyes are the windows to the soul and if you know how to look, you can see the pain, happiness, boredom, and more that they may feel. You can see their story even if they don't want you to.

Breanna saw a light in the storm that swallowed her up. She always saw herself as drowning in a dark ocean trying to stay afloat as a dark storm erupted all around her. When she looked to him, light broke through the dark clouds onto her and allowed her to float with ease. She could breathe. It terrified her and also peaked her curiosity. They sat at the park for a while then decided to get something to drink. Afterwards, they went bowling and Breanna had one of the best days of her life. She didn't feel like she had to worry and that she was going to be okay. The guy she had met was named Adam and he teased her about the fact that she said she hadn't been bowling in years and still managed to beat him. She told him that it was because she had pretty good aim. When they finished bowling, they went to a restaurant named Giuseppe's. She didn't want this day to end, but like she always told herself, all good things come to an end.