Doctor's Orders

The words that Riley had said to me that day left me restless. They keep replaying in my head, as if it were my favorite song, which I had on repeat. What did he mean by saying he had no more time left to be with me? I could not ask any more, for I was scared—scared of the words that would follow the ones Riley had already spoken, scared that they would sound exactly as I thought, scared that I would hear the same thing that was running through my mind at that time. That was why I chose to be silent. I let Riley take me home in his car without exchanging words or glances toward each other. My mind, which was already noisy and messy as it was, had already made me imagine things that were obviously non-existent, but the fear and the thought that Riley might leave me one day did not leave me; it haunted me even in my sleep.

"Dr. Do! Watch out!" That scream snapped me out of my train of thought, but I reacted too late. I was tackled to the ground by a person whom I suspected to be a patient, based on his behavior; he had his hands around my neck so tightly that I could hardly breathe. I grabbed his arm, trying to pull it off of me, but he was stronger. The man looked into my eyes with gritted teeth and strangled me even tighter, squeezing out all of the air from my lungs so that I began to cough.

"It was you!" the patient exclaimed, his angry eyes never leaving mine, and I felt terrified. "It was you! Everything was because of you!" He shouted those words with so much anger that I think he had held on for so long. I gasped out for air; my veins felt as if they were about to explode, and my eyes rolled back as I coughed once more. The whole hospital was filled with the screams and cries of the nurses, the doctors, and the rest of those that were present at the scene. My eyes were closed, and I was ready to draw out my final breath when the strong and unwell man flew across the room and met the ground with a loud thud. I sucked in a lot of air, as if it were my first time being born in this world.

"Sedate him this instant!" A voice roared. My head turned to the other side, and there was Hunter, with a pale face and angry expression, kneeling in front of me. "Quickly! Before he hurts anybody else!" Our fellow doctors followed Hunter's command and pinned down the patient on the ground, while my hand touched the place the man had held tight, still catching for my breath. Hunter looked at me, grabbed my cheeks, and made me look upward, checking on me. He asked, "Are you all right? This might leave a bruise, Kat. What the hell happened?"

I gently pushed his hands away and turned my gaze towards the man, who was now calm and being brought back to his room. "It was my fault," I confessed. "I was spacing out, and he saw me. He pushed me to the ground."

"And why were you spacing out? Did something happen?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm fine. Thank you for saving me, though. I really thought I would die."

Hunter grabbed my hand and pulled me up to stand. "You're not fine, and I think that you need a doctor right now. If not that, then a friend, and I am your friend, Katarina. Talk to me."

"No, Hunt, I'm really..." I could not finish my sentence when Dr. Cha approached the two of us with an apologetic face.

"I'm so sorry, Dr. Do. That man was my patient, and I don't know how he had managed to escape from his room. He has borderline personality disorder, which explains his aggressive behavior. Please, what can I do to make it up to you?"

Hunter pushed me behind him as he glared down at the female doctor in front of us. "Take good care of your patients, Dr. Cha. You are their doctor, which means you are responsible for them. Dr. Do could have died if I hadn't made it on time to push him off of her. I cannot believe the rest of you just stood and watched; if it were you who was underneath him, I would not do a single thing to save you just as you did."

I tugged on the sleeve of his hospital gown and asked him to leave with me. It was the first time that I saw Hunter angry, and I am positive that it was the same case for the rest of them. He was always laughing, cracking up boring and lame dad jokes around, and to see his brows crease together today was new not just to me but also to everyone else.

"You did not have to say all of that to her; she is still in her two years of being a doctor. I understand if she's still trying to figure out everything about handling her own patients. You could have empathized with her."

"I would have, if no one's life was in danger. It seems to me that you'd rather comfort her than mind your own safety." I swallowed when he said the last sentence. "She is a doctor, and she must do her job properly if she wants to keep her license with her for a long time. Have you thought of the possibility that she could lose her profession if you had died? Would you still recommend that I empathize with her rather than scold her due to her negligence?" I could not think of a reply because everything that he said was right.

Hunter led me into his office, and I sat down on the chair in front of his desk. I could not believe that I am sitting here right now as his patient and not as somebody who had just come to tell him the most random of things that had happened with me for the day. He sat behind his table and said, "While I am not the perfect doctor to treat the bruise around your neck, I can listen to whatever is weighing on your mind. This is the second time that you needed to see one of your kind, Katarina; I hope you did not forget that just last month, you sprained your foot because of Riley. Would the reason for your absentmindedness also be him?" I could not answer his question, but Hunter smirked, and I knew that he knew he already had his answer by me evading it.

"Do you believe that one could be from the future?"

Hunter laughed. "Have you been watching too many sci-fi movies?"

I nodded my head. "Yes; that would be the normal reaction, right? But then, would his life be in any danger because he was not from that world? I get that he would need to come back to his own world one day... But, hasn't he been here for as long as he could remember? So I do not understand... Why did he say that he's running out of time?"

Hunter tapped on the table three times, and I looked at him. "Can you explain to me all of this? What are you talking about? Who is 'he'?" 

"Riley," I whispered. "I do not know if he had told you about it, but he is not from this world, our world. He is from the future." I chuckled, realizing how funny I must have sounded, and Hunter must be thinking I've gone mad for saying all of this, but I am afraid that I might lose my head if I am the only one who knew about this, and besides, I can trust Hunt. I looked into his eyes. "He and I knew each other longer than I thought, and he did not want to let me know because it'd scare me away, and it did. But everything he told me was very convincing; I could not find any reason not to believe him."

Hunter turned his hands into fists and asked, "Are you sure about all of this?"

"You think I am crazy, don't you?"

Hunter shook his head. "No, definitely not! I have heard a lot more stories that are just as hard to believe as yours; however, as we are doctors, we do not believe things like this so easily. To see is to believe, isn't that right?"

My shoulders drooped low, and a sigh came out of my mouth. He is right; I was not wrong to decide to tell Hunter everything that I know. If it had been someone else, then they'd most likely recommend that I get admitted to this very hospital where I am working, but although I agree with what he said, I think Hunter would not understand why I believed Riley. Hunter is someone whom I only work with and am friends with; he barely knows a thing about me, and I would not like to tell him the story of my traumatic childhood just to make him understand—that is one thing that I never wanted anybody to know, yet Riley, whom I have been loving for God knows how long, knew all about it.

"I recommend that you take a month off work." Hunter took me back to reality by announcing those words; my eyes grew wide and my mouth agape. He was writing something on his desk, and I prayed that after he signed it, he would not tell me the words, which, by the time I deeply hoped to never hear, Hunter sternly told me: "Doctor's orders."

This is the first time I have ever gotten something like this after becoming a psychiatrist, and even though I tried to reason with Hunter that I cannot, now of all times, take a break from work, he remained unmoved and the decision was clear. I was told that this might just be what I needed, and by the time I return, I might feel refreshed. But he could have made it in a week! A month is way too long! What am I going to do in a month? How is this going to help me? Am I supposed to sit in one corner of my home and think about all of the nonsense I've told my physician?