Chapter 15: School Festival and Darkness

Beta read by Shigiya and Paragon of Awesomeness

.

.

.

-Sainan, Yuuki house-

Emiya felt an eerily familiar sensation as he gradually awakened from his deep slumber, the residual drowsiness taking a bit longer to shake off from having gone to sleep later than usual. 

The events leading up to this moment had been mostly him working on training his current body. While his Tracing had more or less retained its capabilities from his past self, this body was just… lacking on many levels. Against humans, Emiya knew he'd have little to no issue taking them down with his skills alone and perhaps a bit of Reinforcement in extreme scenarios. 

But to face aliens with superhuman strength and durability… a 'good enough' body just didn't cut it anymore. He needed to push every muscle fibre to their limit and improve both his stamina and endurance. So after spending a few hours hanging around Mikan and Rito, he returned to the shed for another three hours of far more intense training than his usual routine. After that, he had hoped for a peaceful night's rest to rejuvenate himself. 

However, as he opened his eyes, he was greeted with a sight that filled him with both frustration and bewilderment.

Beside him on his bed lay a young girl, her form not even concealed by a thin blanket as she openly slept naked on his chest. It took Emiya a moment to register who she was — Lala, the mischievous princess from the Devilukean Empire that apparently ruled most of the known galaxy. A mixture of surprise and exasperation washed over him as he tried to comprehend how she had managed to infiltrate his room yet again.

'I locked the door, closed the windows and even went so far as to set up a basic detection bounded field. Yet she bypassed all of that!? Don't tell me she perfected controlled teleportation without creating any sound or disturbance?' That thought was equal parts worrisome and somewhat expected from her. 

"Again?" he muttered under his breath, his voice laced with frustration. This was becoming an all-too-familiar occurrence. No matter how many times he voiced his discontent, Lala seemed blissfully unaware of personal boundaries, sneaking into his room for impromptu cuddle-time.

With a weary sigh, Emiya raked a hand through his disheveled hair, gathering his thoughts before addressing the situation at hand. He knew he needed to approach this delicately to prevent any misunderstandings with his siblings.

"Lala," he began, his voice firm but not unkind, "we've talked about this before. You can't keep entering my room without permission. It's not appropriate."

She stirred, her delicate features contorting into a sleepy smile as she slowly awakened. Her vibrant pink hair spilled across the pillows, creating a vivid contrast against the white linen.

"Good morning, Shirou!" she greeted cheerfully, stretching her arms above her head, once again ignoring Emiya's entirely valid complaints. Without an ounce of shame, she displayed her naked form to the boy before her without an ounce of shame or shyness. "I must have fallen asleep here again. Silly me!"

"Don't 'silly me', Princess, this is becoming a pattern." Emiya's brows furrowed with annoyance. "Lala, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but respecting personal boundaries is important," he explained patiently. "You can't just come into my room without permission and sleep on top of me naked. It's not proper."

Lala's sunny expression wavered, her pink lips forming a pout. "But Shirou," she protested softly, her golden eyes pleading for understanding, "I feel safe when I'm near you. Your room is so cozy, and you're comfortable to sleep with. Can't you make an exception?"

Emiya's twitching gaze went to the beautiful young princess before him. Despite her mischievous nature, she radiated an undeniable innocence and vulnerability — despite being a bit too comfortable walking or sleeping naked around him whenever she felt like it. He understood that her intentions were pure, driven by a desire for closeness rather than any devious intent.

But still… 

"You're not gonna stop even if I say no, aren't you?"

"Yep!" She answered instantly, grabbing his head and smothering between her breasts. "I watched a show with Mikan-chan yesterday and it showed me how couples show their love for each other!" 

First of all, Emiya was having a hard time breathing.

Second… he really needed to make sure to keep her away from any of Rito's secret magazine stash he knew the boy kept hidden away beneath his mattress. Same went for those porn videos Saruyama sneaked inside his brother's bag as a 'friendly' gesture. 

"Hgat hoff," his muffled voice was barely audible as Lala continued to happily hug him against her chest, humming a song while tightening her legs around him as well. 

"Shirou is so warm and yet you act so cold. Are you what Mikan-chan calls a tsundere? Kya!" Lala shook, her hold on Emiya loosening as she fell on her back with Emiya holding a twitching tail. "D-D-Don't touch it like that~!" 

"Hoh… this might be more useful than I imagined." He didn't want to admit it, but his mind started to accept this crazy reality with Lala and everything associated with her. From those weird inventions to having Zastin now work a part time job as Saibai's assistant. So the fact of her tail being a major erogenous zone was something he was also forced to accept in the end. At least this was one bizarre thing he could use to his advantage to keep the girl in line.

A flicker of disappointment crossed Lala's face as he let go of her tail before getting up from the bed. "Ah, shouldn't couples give each other kisses in the morning? I want to do that too!" She said excitedly, recovering from her weakness in an instant. 

"No," Emiya said, pushing her approaching face away with a palm. "Now get dressed. If I recall, today is the school festival, and you agreed to help Rito's class with some animal themed cafe." 

"Oh right! I almost forgot about that!" She exclaimed. "Peke!" 

The half asleep robot flew inside the room and nearly bumped itself to the door. "Good morning… Lala-sama… the upgrades have been installed successfully." It said with a weak voice. 

"Peke, do the thing!" 

On her command, Peke turned into a bright flash of light that surrounded Lala and transformed into a perfect replica of her student uniform. Though Emiya didn't know if he was imagining it, both the skirt and uniform looked… shorter? It hugged her body more than he recalled. 

Seeing his skeptical gaze, the pink-haired princess immediately reassured Emiya. "Don't worry, Shirou. Yesterday I spent a lot of time and effort upgrading Peke's battery which will now last twice as long!" 

For some reason, Emiya wasn't exactly relieved by that piece of news. 

"Waaah!" 

Before he could answer, Rito's terrified scream came from the backyard. Emiya didn't waste a single moment. He rushed downstairs, running to the backyard with the worry that one of the aliens must have attacked his house. "Rito!" 

Vines, that was the first thing he noticed going outside. Adding to that was his disoriented little brother hanging upside down with his ankles held by a creature that resembled a mutated overgrown sunflower. Its razor sharp teeth made him fear the worst of this being an enemy attack. 

"Wait! Don't hurt it!" To his surprise, Mikan blocked his path. Panic flashed before his eyes as he nearly Traced a weapon before his little sister. "It isn't hurting Rito, Zastin-san said it's harmless and only does this kind of thing for fun. Just give it a bit of water — it's a harmless alien plant." 

"What harmless plant? Those fangs loo— what?" It took a second for her words to register, a trace of anxiety emerged in his heart. But he kept calm, maybe she didn't mean 'alien' in the literal sense. His narrowed eyes turned to the trio of Maul, Smutts, and Zastin next to him, all of whom were awkwardly avoiding his gaze. "…Well, it does look like something straight out of an alien sci-fi movie. Can't even imagine where these people could have—"

"From the planet Planta, it's usually given as a present to a friend or close ones. Though this one in particular is a rare breed that very few possess." 

"…" This time, Emiya couldn't lie to himself or think of a way to spin the situation. Somehow, Mikan learned about the existence of aliens, and if she knew about this plant then there was a large possibility that she knew about Lala as well. And the only other person who could have told her that is…

"Zastin!" 

Rarely did he truly get furious or even angered to such an extent. He had become numb to such a feeling during his time as a Counter Guardian. Though such extreme emotions would show themselves whenever he dealt with that delusional fool who wanted to become a hero. 

But as he lifted the Devilukean up from the ground by his armor with the help of a little Reinforcement, Emiya couldn't help himself from glaring at the idiot before him. Maybe he really went easy on the swordsman before, he should have used a more powerful Noble Phantasm that day. Though nothing stopped him from breaking a bone or two now.

"I told you to keep this a secret from my family. Yet you—!" 

"I-I-I didn't tell her anything, E-Emiya-sama!" Zastin hastily shook his head, cutting Emiya off, "I-I swear in the name of the Emperor! She trapped me! I was tricked and manipulated!" 

"Quite the nerve you have there to say such a thing about my sister in front of m—"

"—It wasn't his fault." Once again, Mikan interrupted him. "I figured it out myself." Both men turned their gaze to meet the young girl as she crossed her arms. A deadpan face facing them as she continued with a dry tone. "On that note, it seems we have a lot to talk about, don't we, Onii-chan?" 

.

.

.

'Why are we kneeling?' This thought occupied his mind. Mikan stood in the center of the room, hands on her hips, with himself, Rito, Lala, Zastin, and his goons kneeling before her. The air crackled with tension as Mikan prepared to deliver her scolding. 

"Um… why am I here?" Rito asked, having been dropped by the plant after his sister calmed it down with some water. 

Mikan answered him with a sharp glare that shut the boy up instantly. She then sighed, slightly exasperated, "Honestly, what were you thinking? Keeping secrets from me? Your own siblings? And to top it off, we have aliens living in our house! Shirou, care to explain yourself?"

"Eh, aliens!?" Rito shouted, looking at Zastin and Lala and gasping. "Y-You don't look like aliens… wait, that means you weren't Lala's weird relative who likes to cosplay! So that tail is real!?" 

'He caught on quick enough once things were spelled out, at least.' Emiya thought while rolling his eyes at his sibling's overreaction. 

"Before I answer that, how did you find out, Mikan?" He asked, wondering how Mikan found out the whole thing. 

"Oi, I'm not dumb." She muttered with a pout. "First off, Zastin keeps stumbling in his words and sometimes addresses Lala as 'Princess.' At first I thought it was just him acting like the character he cosplays, but then these other two kept doing the same thing." Her finger pointed at both Smutts and Maul, who were also kneeling beside them. 

"Of course, calling someone a princess is not enough for me to suspect her to be an alien of all things, but it did bring into question everything you mentioned about her to me. So, I visited Zastin at dad's workplace when they had just finished submitting a draft in time to make a deadline because I knew he would almost certainly throw a drinking party. I asked him a few questions while he was drunk and he told me everything without missing a beat." 

"…"

"…"

Everyone turned their attention to the ashamed bodyguard whose face turned crimson red as he hid it away behind his hands. "I… I am not worthy to be Lala-sama's guardian!" 

Though Mikan wasn't done, "And yesterday just provided the final nail in the coffin; I stumbled onto Lala trying to sneak inside your room through the window with bat-like wings. Then she used some bracelets before disappearing in a flash of light. Now, I can't say I'm privy to all the latest advances in technology, but I'm pretty sure we are a long way off from being capable of teleportation." 

Emiya didn't know whether he should feel impressed at his sister's impromptu detective abilities or annoyed at Zastin for basically being the one responsible for Mikan finding out the truth! But his rational self took over soon after, making him realize the folly of his ways by trying to keep this a secret with him being Lala's top fiancé candidate and the increasing number of aliens coming to Sainan. 

'It was bound to happen… I was just delaying it as much as I could.' 

In the end, Emiya had to face this reality without pushing it away anymore. Keeping them in the dark was an impossible task from the beginning, he should have known that… Rather he knew it would happen but just refused to acknowledge it. 

"I'm just baffled you thought it would be a good idea to keep this a secret from me. Were you really planning on handling everything by yourself?" His lack of response gave her the answer she needed. "Hah… you're such a blockhead, Shirou." 

Now that sounded just like Rin. He much preferred Mikan to turn out like her than himself. 

"I wanted to keep you all out of this. This is not a joking matter, but an all too serious one where you could get yourself hurt, and I couldn't bear the thought of that happening." He said, deciding to just come clean. "Honestly, it wasn't even supposed to be such a major issue. I initially believed that Lala would return to her planet in a day or two. But… let's just say things didn't turn out at all as expected." 

"And what kind of situation did you end up with by having an alien Princess here?" 

By threatening to harm the eldest daughter and heiress of the Emperor of the Galaxy, an individual possessing an army capable of destroying the entire planet. Shooting her bodyguards with a hail of arrows and swords. 

"Ah, that's easy, Shirou is my fiancé!" 

"…"

Was it just him or did the room become colder? And why did it feel like Mikan of all people was the source of it?

{Break}

-Sainan High, Classroom 2-D Cafe-

Just like he promised, Emiya helped out Saki's class with their bug cafe idea. For the most part, there wasn't much he needed to do. Saki dragged him here the first thing in the morning, with Aya and Rin already wearing a cicada and a praying mantis costume respectively. 

He nearly burst out laughing with how ridiculous Rin looked in her costume. 

"You look very threatening." He said to the girl working next to him as a cook — a role that Saki assigned her. "Are you sure those aren't real mantids? They sure do fit you." 

"Why don't you come here and find out?" She said menacingly, the kitchen knife awkwardly held with mantids hands gleaming with killing intent. 

He chuckled, feeling mostly fine from the fiasco from this morning. The fact that Mikan and Rito now knew about Lala and her origin worried him about their future involvement. But as if she could read him like an open book, his sister had given him an answer that even he wasn't ready for. 

"Alright, that's all I wanted to ask. Get ready for school or you'll be late. Just be safe, Shirou. Don't do anything stupid because I will ask Lala to give me the details." She mentioned it so casually, and then quickly left the house with her school bag. Though he didn't fail to notice the frown on her face as she gazed at the alien Princess. 

"Ah, Emiya-kun, another two orders of virgin mojitos and a strawberry parfait!" One of the student waitresses dressed as a moth came forward and placed another order. 

"Coming right up." 

Honestly, for him to end up as a barista and nonalcoholic bartender in a class for the school festival was… weird to say the least. The boys all hated his guts as usual, but didn't dare to cause any trouble with Saki around, while the girls were a bit too energetic in his opinion. 

"Two cups of coffee!" 

Well, he didn't hate it per say. 

The classroom had been transformed into a bustling cafe for the high school festival. Vibrant decorations adorned the walls, creating an inviting atmosphere—the air, permeated with a medley of excited chatter and the delightful aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Students filled the room, their laughter and conversations blending together in a symphony of energy and anticipation. 

Emiya, dressed in a refined butler costume complete with a tailored black suit and a white-gloved hand, stood behind the makeshift bar counter, serving the students who flocked to the booth. The sound of his polished shoes echoed softly on the classroom floor as he moved with graceful efficiency.

"He's like a pro!" Were some of the floating comments. 

"I swear he looks far too natural in that getup! He was born to be a butler!" 

"Oi, that's rude! But I do agree with you…" 

Most of the customers were girls, their eyes fixed on Emiya with a mix of awe and blushing admiration. They giggled amongst themselves, stealing glances at the handsome butler amongst a cacophony of ridiculous bug outfits. Emiya's stoic expression and piercing gaze only added to his allure, drawing their attention like a magnet.

The intensity grew by the second, becoming so obvious that even the redhead found it to be far too inconvenient. 'This damn suit.' 

But he was not the sole magnet of attention in this cafe as someone else attracted an equal amount of attention from the girls, his eyes wandered to the back of the cafe. There, he spotted a familiar face — Ren, also dressed as a butler, carefully cleaning glasses. Emiya couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the sight.

'I'm getting a bad feeling here.' Just recently, this boy saw him as his worst enemy and continuously tried to compete against him in literally everything. Sure he managed to reason with him that night at the park, but would it really incur such a big change so quickly? Wanting to confirm his doubts, Emiya approached Ren, still maintaining his usual demeanor. "I didn't know you were going to help with the drinks, Ren." 

The alien looked up, a bright smile forming on his face. "Aniki!" he exclaimed with enthusiasm. "I wanted to learn from the best, so I thought who better than you? I want to be a true man!"

Emiya's expression instantly turned sour. "A true man? I'm pretty sure you might have the wrong impression. Being a true man is not about dressing like a butler or imitating someone else."

Ren's eyes gleamed with determination. "No, no, no, aniki! I've been watching you lately, your actions, and your silent, cool demeanor. I want to embody those qualities and become the perfect man for Lala! I want her to accept me as her fiancé! Please let me observe and study you even after school hours!"

"That's called spying or stalking, so no." He turned him down instantly. Emiya sighed inwardly, realizing he was about to be dragged into a conversation he wasn't particularly eager to have. "This is a waste of time," he mentioned, his voice laced with a touch of exasperation. "If Lala is going to appreciate you, it will be for who you are, not for how closely you imitate someone else. Also, stop calling me aniki, it's weird."

"…She chased me around the hallway this morning for over an hour to force a pink dress on me coupled with a nano machine make-up invention she wanted to experiment with on me." Ren said pathetically, a steady stream of tears running down his face. "She doesn't see me as a man at all!" 

"…"

He honestly had nothing to say in return.

But Ren seemed undeterred by Emiya's advice. "I get what you're trying to advise, aniki." Emiya was certain the boy didn't get his point. "But I believe that if I spend enough time around you, I'll learn all the right lessons. I'll become a man worthy of Lala's love!"

This forced another sigh to escape the swordsman's mouth, "Right, whatever." shrugged, resigning himself to the situation. "Suit yourself, Ren. Just try not to annoy me more than usual with the 'aniki' thing. It's already getting on my nerves."

Ren nodded eagerly. "Of course, aniki! I'll do my best to learn from you and become the perfect man!"

"…"

Emiya returned to his duties in the kitchen, occasionally stealing glances at Ren as he continued cleaning glasses with unwavering determination. He couldn't help but feel a spark of pity for the young man's misguided efforts. 'It's his fault if it doesn't work, not my business.' 

Meanwhile, in the background, Kūjo Rin and Fukisaki Aya skillfully prepared various bug-themed dishes, adding to the unique atmosphere of the bug cafe. Emiya observed them, intrigued. Rin cooking was a rare sight and the fact she knew how to cook in the first place impressed him. "At least she's not going to burn the whole place down just by boiling water." 

As the day went on, he found himself engaged in multiple conversations with students, serving drinks, and exchanging pleasantries. Ren, on the other hand, continued his diligent work, occasionally coming over to seek guidance, trying to decipher the secret to being a true man.

Though there was one matter he wanted an answer for. He gazed at the person before him who'd been watching his every action intently for the last hour — just like Ren.

He spoke dryly, "Saki, do you care to explain why I'm dressed like this?"

Tenjōin Saki, dressed in a queen bee costume with intricate details and glittering wings, sat at the counter with a dreamy expression. Her gaze seemingly lost with her mouth open in a dumb smile, as she'd been like that ever since he started working. 

Though a couple of finger snaps brought her back to reality. "Oh, Emiya, you look absolutely stunning in that butler outfit! It's a shame we ran out of bug-themed costumes for you. But fear not, you make an extraordinary butler!" 

He sighed, rolling his eyes at Saki's over-the-top admiration and blatant lie about there being no bug costumes available. It was suspicious enough how this current suit fitted him so perfectly. He couldn't deny the flutter of amusement that danced in his chest, though he tried to maintain his usual composed demeanor.

"Well, lucky me. I always dreamed of being a butler in a high school cafe." He said with a hint of sarcasm, expertly filling glasses with a variety of virgin  cocktails without even looking at them. 

Saki's eyes sparkled, her cheeks reddening as she struggled to contain her excitement.

"Oh, why don't you serve your mistress the best drink on the menu? I want to experience being served by a charming butler like you~!" 

{Break}

Next to Emiya, Rin and Aya carefully observed their mistresses' interaction with the boy. The latter was quite shocked at how bold and forward Saki acted at this moment when just a few days ago she struggled to even think of approaching him! 

"Looks like it's working." 

"Eh, what's working?" Asked Aya, wondering about Rin's weird comment. The kendo master gazed at her while secretly before sneaking a small empty sake bottle — much to the horror of the bespectacled girl who realized what her friend had done! "You spiked her drink!?" 

"No." 

'Phew,' relief flooded the poor girl's heart as she chuckled at herself to come at such a ridiculous ide— 

"—Yuuki Emiya Shirou would have noticed my attempt if I had, so I added it to her meal instead." Rin said casually, not noticing the crumbling Aya next to her. "I initially wanted to add just a drop or two, nothing much to harm Saki-sama. But the alcohol just kept burning away from the heat so I just dumped the whole bottle into the sauce." 

Aya wondered if Rin finally started to lose it after all those failed attempts to defeat Emiya for so long.

{Break}

Emiya couldn't help but smirk at Saki's enthusiasm. He reached for a crystal-clear glass and began the intricate process of crafting her chosen beverage. The clinking of ice cubes, the gentle sound of liquid being poured, and the careful selection of ingredients created a captivating symphony of mixology. 

'She looks drunk,' he was certain that none of the beverages he made contained any alcohol. "Don't drink too much, you might be one of those rare cases of people who get drunk from even carbonated drinks. I'm not sure how that works, as even I haven't figured that one out yet. And what are you doing ordering food yourself? We're supposed to be serving the students from other classes!"

"Unacceptable!" She said while slamming her hands onto the counter, her words getting slightly slurred. "You're my butler… mine! So give your queen the treatment she deserves!" 

Hers? How absurd yet funny for her to say that. Guess she really got drunk somehow, not that he cared as it made Saki's behavior so funny to watch. 

She leaned in, smirking with a flushed face as the girls nearby watched the scene with both fascination and frustration. Feeling the uncomfortable atmosphere settling in, Emiya just played along. "Here you go, a drink befitting your royal status, oh great Master of mine." He said without backing down, going so far as to touch her hair playfully with a large grin.

Saki's heart skipped a beat as her mind slowly started to process what just occurred, her fingers brushing against Emiya's gloved hand. Suddenly, a nosebleed erupted from her nose, and she collapsed onto the floor in a faint.

"Saki-sama!" As expected, both her shadows appeared by her side, carrying the blonde's body to the back of the room behind the curtain instantly. 

Emiya raised an eyebrow, "Well, that was unexpected."

Amidst the commotion caused by Saki's fainting, a familiar face decided to pay a visit to the cafe. Someone who stole the attention of every boy in the area as their previously sour mood about Emiya hogging all the attention disappeared in an instant. Mikado glided towards the counter with her usual smile, which to most looked more seductive than anything else. Her curvaceous figure and nurse uniform that nonetheless exposed a great deal of cleavage exuded a certain charm that simply couldn't be ignored. The male students, now fully immersed in the high school festival atmosphere, watched with wide eyes as the alluring nurse approached the so-called butler.

"My, my, Emiya-kun, don't you look dashing in that butler attire. You've certainly captured everyone's attention." She said teasingly, "I've never seen so many inside a… bug cafe?" 

"Don't try to sugarcoat it, it's a horrible idea that somehow ended up working." He said knowingly, the frown on his face growing steadily with how many of the girls had been sneakily taking his picture.

"I think it's cute, which is why I must commend Tenjōin-san for this idea, she knew what she was doing." 

He rolled his eyes, "Thank you, Mikado-sensei. I must admit, this costume has truly brought out my hidden talents as a charming butler."

"Oh my, you speak so politely but I don't feel a scrap of sincerity in your words. It's not good to always be so sarcastic, or else you won't have any friends." 

"Oh the tragedy, whatever will I do?" 

"Fufufu~! I guess you don't need an old lady like me to tell you that." Emiya felt the glare of the male students around sharpen considerably. 

Mikado leaned closer, her body language exuding confidence and allure. She toyed with a lock of her hair, her eyes dancing with mischief.

"Or are you perhaps more interested in hanging out with grown ups? In that case, why don't I invite you for a small cup of tea in my office later?" 

Would it be wrong for him to say that he didn't mind the sound of that? While it was clear she was just messing with him, Mikado made for a good conversationalist and listener. But he knew that if he played along and agreed to her request, the entire male population would riot once more. If Lala was a princess in both the literal and figurative sense in this school, then Mikado would be the unofficial queen. 

'Oh, he's actually considering it?' Her lips curved into a smile as she watched his reaction. Though he didn't show much, there were certain cues she managed to pick up. 

So she went forward and continued with a whisper, "Of course, Emiya-kun, attending to the needs of the students is always a priority. But it wouldn't hurt to have a little fun on the side in a more personal setting, don't you think?" 

"Is that your professional opinion, Mikado-sensei?" He asked rhetorically, but was also quiet in his response, as if to keep this conversation between themselves.

Mikado's eyes twinkled, her voice laced with playful insinuation. "Oh, I don't know, rather than me being a professional, I'm just trying to help out one of my favorite students in my full capacity as a nurse by offering to tend to all his needs and desires. So in a way, I'm just doing my job."

He rolled his eyes again, this woman always had some way to spin the conversation her way no matter what he said — it was like a special talent of hers. "Care to share how the others are doing? I'm certain you visited my brother's class before coming here. Lala is helping them out as well." Better to change the subject entirely, their conversation had started getting too many suspicious stares from everyone.

Mikado's playful demeanor faltered for a moment, her eyes flickering with a mix of emotions. She composed herself, leaning back on her seat with a thoughtful look. "It's a cafe with cute girls dressed in sexy animal-girl outfits. You can already imagine their popularity. While this place is somewhat busy with the number of girls coming over, it's nowhere near as crowded as that class."

The redhead agreed with her, Sainin High's female to male student population leaned quite heavily on the latter. It most likely contributed to the fierce competition and jealousy whenever he even spoke to random girls with whom he had no relations with. 

A second passed and he placed a glass of freshly squeezed juice before the nurse while she looked at it with confusion. 

"Hm? I haven't ordered yet?" 

"You were going to get the black coffee." He stated, knowing what she liked to take everyday. "You drink that stuff throughout the day, every day. It's not good for your health to consume it that much." 

His response earned a surprise reaction from the physically older woman. "Who would have thought I'd see the day when a student worries about a nurse's health in this school." 

"Because they are more focused on your body. Though that's partially your own fault with the amount of cleavage you're so brazenly showing off." Like seriously, she was doing it intentionally and fully knew the effects that it had on the male students and even quite a few female ones. 

Mikado casually inspected her shirt, going so far as to slightly pull the pink fabric away from her chest, which made a few boys have the same reaction as Saki before. 

"Oh, I honestly think this is fine. What's wrong, doesn't it suit your tastes?" She said genuinely, actually liking these types of clothes as they didn't restrict her breathing. "If you want, I can wear something else, though I'll need your opinion on which clothes to choose."

"I'm not answering that." 

They continued to converse for a bit until she needed to return to her office. Though before parting, she left him with a few words that caught the Counter Guardian's attention. "Be careful, Emiya. They've placed a bounty on your head. And those are usually taken by unsavory assassins you don't want to deal with. Trust me."

"—!

His eyes widened at her words, his head jerked to the side where she sat, about to demand what she knew. But to his dismay, the nurse was already near the door waving him goodbye. Her lips moved, a touch of concern in her eyes, "Be careful," was what he read before she left.

"Damn it, don't tell me she's not human…" Out of every single person in the school, Mikado was perhaps the last person he suspected to be an enemy or even an alien for that matter. 

.

.

.

As the bustling cafe continued to serve the enthusiastic students that came by, Emiya couldn't shake off the nagging feeling that something was amiss. Mikado's warning had put him on edge, and he couldn't ignore it. The thought of a bounty on his head didn't sit well with him, especially considering the recent events and the increasing number of aliens invading his life.

With a deep sigh, he decided to take a short break from the cafe and stepped outside the classroom. The festival atmosphere enveloped him as he absentmindedly gazed at the students enjoying the various attractions and booths set up for the event from the window. 

As he stood there, lost in thought before walking back inside, a loud commotion caught his attention. Turning towards the source of the noise, his eyes widened in surprise. Bursting inside the classroom was Lala, accompanied by Momioka Risa and Sairenji Haruna. The three girls were wearing revealing and attention-grabbing costumes — a leopard-themed outfit for Lala, a wolf-girl bikini-like costume for Risa, and a cat-girl costume for Haruna who was visibly very uncomfortable with the attention it attracted.

"Lala? What are you doing here?" Emiya asked, his voice laced with a mix of surprise and wariness.

The princess beamed at him, her pink hair bouncing as she skipped over to his side. "Shirou! I finally found you! We've been searching for you everywhere!" she exclaimed, her excitement evident in her voice. "You look so good in a suit!" 

"Uh… thanks? So why are you here?" 

Risa chimed in, holding up her camera. "I wanted to take some pictures of you as a butler and sell them to the Emiya fan club. Gotta make some good money when I can, you know? Of course, I'll keep the originals for my personal use." She winked playfully.

Haruna, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment, simply said, "I-I was just tagging along."

Emiya couldn't help but chuckle at their replies, before turning his attention on Lala who started to attract a large crowd of male students within the cafe. "Well, you certainly know how to make an entrance. Again, why did you come here?"

Lala looked at him with a mixture of affection and determination. "I missed you, Shirou. And I wanted to be with you during the school festival. Plus, I thought it would be fun to help out Saki's class with their cafe."

"You're going to be more of a nuisance than anything." He didn't bother holding back his words. "You've been here for less than a minute yet half of the boys in school are now waiting outside, ready to kill m—" 

"Waaah!" He didn't even have time to finish his words before Lala suddenly stood next to a terrified Ren with various tools in her hands. "Ren, you don't look good at all in a suit! But don't worry, I have Pon Pon Dress-chan which can change you into any princess outfit in the galaxy!" 

"Noooo!!! Get that thing away from me! Why do you also have a bra in your hands!?" Filled with terror, the poor boy ran out of the class at superhuman speed, leaving Lala behind confused.

"Eh? Why did he run away? He would have looked so cute in these!" 

Now Emiya started to understand Ren's deep obsession with becoming a man in Lala's eyes.

Though the commotion didn't just stop there. 

"Hey, isn't that Lala?"

"What's she doing here?"

"Oooooh!! Will she also be serving here? I'm all for it!" 

"Notice me, Lala!" 

"Oh my god this is so much better than the bug costumes!" 

One by one, both the boys and girls started to crowd around Lala and Risa, the latter enjoying the situation more than anyone else. Haruna, feeling too shy with all the attention, came over to the bar with him to get as far away from the commotion as possible. 

"Not going to join the party?" Emiya asked, minding his own business and just keeping an eye on things in case they started to get out of hand. 

"Not really," she said, pushing her index fingers together. "I-I was just hanging out with them during our break and Lala-san dragged us along to visit you. I'm s-sorry for the commotion!" 

"Oi, don't bow, I don't care that much in the first place. As long as they don't cause trouble then I'm fine with it. By the way, how is Rito doing? I'd imagine he'd be happy to have you around keeping him company." He hoped that hint was enough for Haruna to get what he was insinuating. 

"Really? I think he's doing fine, Saruyama-san is keeping him company. I don't want to disturb him." She said with a smile, making him question whether she was purposefully dodging his question or playing dumb. 

"Ah, Shirou!" Lala ran over along with Risa. "Are you cooking as well? I want to have something to eat made by you!" 

"Ah, me too, Emiya. I never actually had a hit meal from you." Risa said while taking another picture of him, "Can you strike a pose for me? Those girls in your fan club would pay a pretty penny for it. If possible, I would prefer if you could go shirtless. Hehehehe, I'm gonna be Saki-level rich." 

"Buzz off." He said, not wanting to deal with her antics. "And no, I'm not a cook today. Those two disappeared somewhere, and I have no idea when they'll be back. Oh wait, they're back." 

As soon as he said that, the door to the classroom opened with Saki having returned, still blushing and swaying a bit on her feet. Instantly her eyes widened in horror as she gazed at the counter where Emiya casually spoke with three girls dressed in revealing outfits. Worst of all was how one of them happened to be her worst enemy! 

"Lala Satalin Deviluke!" Saki screamed with rage. "She's trying to steal him away again along with ruining my bug cafe!" 

"What should we do, Saki-sama?" Rin asked, wondering what her mistress had planned. 

Instead of answering, Saki walked right up to Lala and declared, "You! I challenge you to a beauty contest, and the winner will have Emiya for themselves!" 

"Eh? But Shirou is already mine!" Lala said with a frown, making Emiya facepalm himself. "So I already won! But the game sounds fun, so I'll play it anyway!" Ignorant of Saki's hidden hostility, Lala cheerfully accepted the challenge, viewing it as nothing more than a fun game.

"Why you!!!!" Incensed by that response, Saki tried another approach. She kept her composure and smirked, "Heh, just you wait and see… you'll be the one losing, and Emiya will realize that I'm the most beautiful girl in all of Sainan!" 

As word spread, a crowd circle formed around the two girls, eagerly anticipating the contest. Saki, wearing her bee costume, struck a series of poses, hoping to win over the boys. However, much to her chagrin, her efforts garnered only a lukewarm response, with only Rin and Aya cheering her on from the background.

'Why is no one looking at me? I spent a fortune on this designer bee costume!' Not to mention how cute she looked… it baffled her how no one seemed to be noticing that.

Lala, on the other hand, earned their attention with her usual carefree energy. She twirled, radiating an infectious joy that captivated the crowd. The boys couldn't help but cheer for her, enchanted by her natural charisma. Emiya, ever vigilant, stood nearby, keeping his attention primarily on the enthusiastic spectators in case they got a bit too excited.

Saki's frustration grew as she watched Lala steal the spotlight effortlessly. Feeling the pressure, she shouted at Rin, "Prepare for Plan B!" In a matter of seconds, Saki reappeared before the crowd, transformed into a revealing dominatrix outfit that sent the boys into a frenzy of excitement.

"Woah! That's awesome!" The boys shouted, now gathering around Saki. "She's even got a whip on her waist!" 

"Use it on me!" 

"No me!" 

"Oh no…" Emiya initially believed the heiress to be quite bold and prideful. Though she stuttered here and there whenever they met in the past, she got better each time and spoke more effortlessly. But he never expected that she would feel comfortable enough to walk around in public wearing something like that! "That idiot is just asking for trouble." 

"I think she looks sexy," Risa said, taking a few pictures. "The anti-Emiya alliance will love this. Are you sure about not reconsidering the shirtless pic? I'll give you half of the profits." 

"Risa…"

"I'll shut up." 

While they had their conversation, Peke shared just as much enthusiasm as Saki for this contest — Lala's clothing robot was not one to back down, or to be outdone when it came to fashion. With a determined glint in its eye, Peke transformed Lala's clothes with a large cloud of smoke into a whipped cream ensemble, leaving her private parts tastefully covered. "Now, Lala-sama, repeat after me: 'Want to have a taste of me?'" Peke encouraged with a whisper, wanting to give its creator the edge in this fierce competition. 

Lala, ever the innocent soul, followed Peke's lead, unaware of the underlying implications of the phrase. "Want to have a taste of me?" she repeated, her voice filled with innocent curiosity. The crowd erupted into a mix of lustful roars and cheers, completely enthralled by her unintentional charm.

"Ooohhhhhh!!!!! I think I'm in heaven!" 

"Just a bit more! I can almost see them!" 

"I'm so happy to have been born!" 

Saki's frustration reached its boiling point as she witnessed Lala steal the spotlight once again. In a fit of rage, she attempted to tear open up the zipper a bit more to showcase a larger part of her cleavage for a grand finale, but fate had other plans. The costume snapped accidentally, leaving her perilously close to being exposed in front of everyone.

"—!" 

"Saki-sama!"

Both her and everyone in the room heard the sound and watched with shock as the fabric fell to the ground. 

As Saki hurriedly used her hand to shield herself, her face flushed with embarrassment, though a certain passing perverted principal's lustful gaze fell upon her. 

"Ohhh!!! A naked girl!" Driven by his uncontrollable desires, he made a misguided attempt to pounce on her, fueled by the chaotic atmosphere.

But in a flash, Emiya appeared, his roundhouse kick landing square on the principal's chin, sending him flying out the window. "Quick, put this on," With a blanket in hand, he swiftly wrapped it around Saki, shielding her from further embarrassment. "This is what you get for doing stupid things!" 

"E-Emiya!" In a panic from her naked body getting exposed to the man of her dreams, Saki tried to move backwards quickly but ended up slipping. "Ah!" Her arms instinctually went to grab onto Emiya's arm and dragged the surprised boy down to the ground on top of her. 

"Urgh," the fall wasn't painful, Emiya tried to get up but froze when his hands grabbed onto something soft, round and warm. "Damn it," it didn't take long for him to discover what he had grabbed hold of. He watched as his hands now pushed against Saki's breast while the girls met his gaze with incredulity. 

"This… this is a misunderstanding." Something he only expected to happen to Rito had now occurred with him. And weirdly enough, a sense of deja vu settled in his mind with his current dilemma. 

"Y-You t-touched…" Unexpectedly, Saki didn't react with shame, embarrassment or rage as he expected from her. Rather, the blonde turned her gaze to Lala and showed the princess a large victorious smirk before uttering, "I win." 

She soon passed out with a blissful expression on her face as the bloodlusted gaze from the boys now focused on Emiya. 

"I'm not participating in the school festivals next year, Yui can chew me out all she wants." He said, knowing that there was a big chance he would need to bring out Torashinai once again. "I want to go home…"

{Break}

Deep within the forest near Sainan, a young girl walked out from a spaceship with soft plumes of white smoke still emitting from the engines. With features that captivated some of the passing cars as she arrived near a road, the girl had long blonde hair, dark red eyes, and a child-like figure. This was in sharp contrast to her all-black gothic-style leather outfit which had a star shaped gap at the chest of her clothing. It also featured two waist belts, five leg belts on both of her legs, and two sleeves that attached to her upper arm… via belts.

Having received a crucial mission from her client — she made haste to arrive at this planet within the designated time frame. "I'm here." She spoke, her crimson eyes flickered with curiosity as she listened to the details of her next target. This particular assignment carried a significant bounty and required utmost precision and secrecy.

"About time! You better not fuck this mission up like the previous assassin I hired! That useless idiot didn't even reach the planet before getting destroyed by a random passing asteroid! Argh! I wasted so much money on that fool. Shows what I get for paying in advance." 

The girl barely reacted to his rant, keeping a stoic expression.

As the transmission from her client continued, Yami's eyes narrowed. The image of her target appeared on the screen, revealing the face of a redheaded boy, a seemingly ordinary human. She couldn't help but feel a tinge of skepticism about the reported urgency and danger associated with eliminating him.

"Yuuki Emiya Shirou?" Darkness read his name, her voice calm and composed.

"Don't ask questions about why and who it is, that's not your job. But since I'm such a magnanimous prince, I'll grant you a small explanation." Her client's voice crackled through the channel, filled with a cold and ruthless tone. "This fool is the brat that somehow managed to become my sweet Lala's prime fiancé candidate as announced by the Emperor himself. Meaning he's probably the closest to the throne aside from the princesses themselves."

Yami's gaze remained fixed on Emiya's profile picture as she processed the information. She did wonder how a human like him could have encountered Gid Lucione Deviluke's daughter in a place as far away as Earth.

Curiosity getting the better of her, Darkness decided to probe further. "What powers does the target possess? Is he dangerous?"

There was a brief pause on the other end of the channel before her client responded. "The human is nothing more than a pathetic piece of trash like the rest of his primitive race. The Emperor, Gid Lucione Deviluke, purposefully spread false information about him defeating his own champion, Zastin. It was a ruse to deter any potential threats. Emiya is merely a boy, a pawn in this elaborate game. Humph, as if someone of my intellect could fall for such a simple trick!"

Yami's eyes remained the same, lacking any emotions or reaction for the most part. If that really was the case, then this mission would probably last a day or two before she tracked down her target and ended his life with a single slash. Though it was possible for the princess to be by his side, and hurting her would incur the wrath of the Emperor which even she wished to avoid. 

"I see," Darkness murmured, her voice tinged with contemplation.

Her client, displeased with her lack of response, went on another rant. "Hey brat, don't mess this mission up when I've given you such a weak and easy target, or else I'll be sending someone after your head instead! Just go to his last recorded location and kill every human in the area just to be safe. No one will care about them anyways."

Yami's gaze hardened, but she only answered with a single word. "Noted." 

With those words, Darkness severed the communication, her mind already set on a new course of action. She knew that blindly following her client's orders would lead to more trouble than necessary and she wasn't fond of useless slaughter. It wasn't professional for an assassin to eliminate anyone who wasn't their target.

So with that in mind, she started to head straight for the town. Her target's last recorded appearance, according to her client's informants, was near a park, so that was where she would begin her mission.

--------------

The next 5 chapters of Snafu, and my other Fate fics (Fate Coiling Sword with 3 chapters, A Fake Familiar Reborn with 3 chapters, Steel Eyed Faker soon to be 3 chapters, Hound having 1 and To love a sword having 4 chapters) are already available on my P@treon. With 4 more Broly chapters at /NimtheWriter. Also, I post commissioned arts on each story, already posted a few on an Archer's Promise, Broly and Snafu.