To Find: Season 1 (Missed You Tape)

Story Tape #21

The tape begins with the sound of a loud electrical explosion, Just wakes up to reality from being in another plane of existence. I looked up at the ceiling, breathing heavily as I didn't move from my bed. Was it all real? Was it just a dream? It felt real. I slowly sat up on the bed, having a slight headache as I winced a bit. The atmosphere was quiet and dark, so I grabbed onto my face confused as to where my duck mask went since the events that happened at Dolls Delight. Whisper appeared against the wall in front of me, tossing me my duck mask.

"A lot has happened, has it not? Our first encounter at the Elevator, the Mother and Daughter in the Sewers, the Club, Dolls Delight. This is just the beginning, we haven't even scratched the surface. Even during everything that happened you are still here, I wonder... Is it luck or is it from the mercy of your God?"

After Whisper asked me that question he disappeared into the dark, I put my mask on along with my suit jacket and gloves. I felt drained, weak, so tired. The fact that I am still alive, how? How am I still alive after everything that happened? Stabbed, shot at, my face... Fucking melting. The dream that I had. All I remember are the names Bēlua, Sophismae and Quiesco. Were they real? I don't know. I'm so confused, I can't even think straight. But I remember that I've got Livious head, I need to go see the Merchant and obtain the key. I hope it won't be like the last time, honestly. I sluggishly opened the door leading into the outside world, feeling the cold wind brush my body. It felt like Death was teasing me, welcoming me back into Soren's Mind as the wind hugged my back. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, slowly opening my eyes as I looked up at the dead sky where the large Entity hovers over the city. I began to walk, no music to accompany me, just the sound of the icy wind and my footsteps. While walking through the alleyway I see the Merchant standing by his stand, smiling a bit underneath my mask to see a "friendly" face. I stood in front of the Merchant as he smiled at me, exposing his wide teeth.

"Well if it isn't my little duck friend, I see that my cartridges worked well for you it seems. Although, you were gone for a while. How have you been?"

I nodded my head as I spoke in a mono tone of voice, I just wasn't really feeling like myself.

"I'm uhh.. Here, I guess. That's all that matters, right? And yes, thank you for the cartridges. Unfortunately I don't have anymore and the rare material you spoke about, I couldn't find them aside from a gooey substance shaped like hands."

I stared at the Merchant and came to a realization, those were the rare materials as I sighed a bit while he nodded.

"Those were the materials... But they were up on the ceiling, I couldn't get it either way. It was just at the moment I wasn't thinking about it, I'm sorry Merchant."

The Merchant raised one hand up, reassuring me.

"Oh nonsense, it's fine Just. I'll happily give you some more dosages, but only two this time. This will be the last time I offer you these, after that, you'll need to pay for these."

I shook my head as I summoned Livious' head, placing it on the Merchant stand as I looked at him.

"This head belongs to Livious, a Queen doll from the place known as 'Dolls Delight'. When you said that the key has side effects it took me there. I fucking fought my ass for this, I've almost died for this. So please, a key, without any side effects. Make sure it is a regular key, alright?"

The Merchant noticed annoyance and frustration within my voice, tearing up a bit behind my mask as I tried to compose myself from having a breakdown. He grabbed Livious' head and examined it.

"Hm, this one is an interesting creature. There's no promise, but I will do my best. Give me a moment, yes?"

The Merchant began to start working on making a key, I called out to Whisper as he appeared beside me, placing my hand on his shoulder.

"I'm going down into the Sewers, collect the key for me, please?"

Whisper nodded his head, standing nearby the Merchant as I walked to the Sewers descending down the ladder as I felt weak. While descending down the ladder as I lost my grip, instead of falling back I slid down until I reached the bottom; leaning my body against the ladder as I felt my heart dropping while sliding down. I place one hand on the side of my head, hearing faint whispers in my ears as I walk stumbly to the dark figure sitting down on the chair. I just stared at it, and it stared at me with its hallowed eyes. Silent, the sound of the water dripping onto the dirty river of filth in the Sewers. Moments later Whisper appeared beside me handing me the key, nodding at him slowly as I handed the key to the figure. Same process as before, the figure gasps for air as it shrivels up and dies. The elevator appears in front of me, the door opening up. I hope this is just a regular key. Sometimes I wish that I could just stop fighting, is the point of my existence just to fight and suffer? Suffering this pain within myself, the guilt, the shame of being a boy instead of a man. I think Soren made a mistake creating me, maybe he should've just died. At least then it would be quiet. What am I even saying? I walked inside the elevator, turning around as the door closed. The sound of whispering once again invaded my mind, instead of questioning it I just let it happen. What happened in my dream? The elevator stopped, so I opened my hand to summon my bat but instead something else appeared. My eyes slowly widen as I look down at my hand, the Blades of Vengeful Gust appear between my fingers as I cover my mouth with my other hand out of shock. It... Was real. Oh God. Was it real? But how? How the hell did I get this? The whispers in the head become more clear, the sound of Quiesco speaking.

"Do not be frightened, it's me. We've lost touch since our last interaction due to an uninvited guest showing up. Not sure what happened since the massive explosion you've made, but we're here. You remember the Vanesco spell, yes?"

I was breathing heavily as I leaned back against the elevator wall, subconsciously performing the Vanesco spell before the elevator door opened. I saw my body disappearing and blending with the darkness, nervous at first as my heart was beating fast; stepping out from the elevator as I looked around to see Shadow-Walkers patrolling the area. I slowly walk down the hallway, checking my surroundings as I see Soren's Cell hearing the song (Missed You, By The Weeknd) faintly playing. Hearing the song made me tear up as I started to remember things before venturing into his mind, leaning back against the wall as I started to cry. Quiesco spoke to me.

"Just, if you're going to cry, do so when you reach Soren's Cell. In case you've forgotten, Vanesco only lasts for a moment."

My face was hot, tears running down my cheeks as I stood up straight; sneaking and making sure I'm not touching any of the Shadow-Walkers I walk by. Two Shadow-Walkers were standing by Soren's Cell, looking at the Blades on my hand as I angrily threw the Blades at both of them as it impaled their chest in quick succession. They both become paralyzed, not being able to call out; grabbing both of the Blades as I puncture into the side of their heads. Their bodies fell on the ground, unlocking the door as I brought both of the dead Shadow-Walkers inside; dropping them on the ground as Soren was sitting down on the chair crying. I closed the door behind me as I walked up to the table as the Vanesco spell wore off. Soren got nervous at first since he didn't know who I was but later on sighed in relief.

"Oh, it's you..."

Soren relaxed himself, looking at the pictures on the table as I asked him a question.

"Pictures of you and Ara, yeah?"

He nodded his head, taking his skull mask off but not making it visible for me to see with his head down; his hand on his face as he cried.

"In the end I've lost her... I've.. Lost her. Now she does whatever she wants, right, Just? What does she do now, hm?"

I tried to keep a straight face, tears slowly running down my cheeks as I clenched my fist tightly. I answered with a saddened tone of voice, my lips quivering

"She... Ara has her own life... She doesn't check up on me, you, us, I... She doesn't talk to me that much anymore. The friends we've made, the people we've talked to..."

I couldn't hold my emotions anymore as tears freely flowed down my cheeks, getting down on my knees as I cried out from the pain in my heart, the loneliness. Soren got up from his chair, looking down at Just.

"I-I... No one talks to me... For what? For a few hours, a few days? Th-Then what? S-S-Sile..."

I struggled to get a word out, Soren walking up to me as he kneeled down; giving me a hug. An old, withered soul; a new, reborn soul. Each with their own flaws, their own pain, their own suffering. Soren held onto me tight, I held onto him tighter as he whispered in my ear while sobbing.

"Please Just, get me out of here. I don't want to be here. Please.. please please. Please please please please please..."

Soren couldn't stop saying please, both of us crying to each other. Before I was born Soren felt isolated and lonely. Waking up in his room, crying in the darkness. He cried out to me, thus I was reborn as Just. To be better than he was, but even then, I felt lonely and isolated. Lost and confused. Before entering his mind, I would look at a knife wondering... No. Don't have that thought. It does you no good but adds more sorrow. I pulled away from Soren, placing my hands on his shoulders as we both got up off the floor. The atmosphere turns blood red, the loud siren playing throughout the building as the TV turns on as D.E.F.E.A.T appears on the screen laughing.

"Such A Touching Moment. The Depressed Boy And The Duck. I've Heard A Lot About What You've Been Doing Just, Very Very Impressive. But You've Made A Mistake Coming Here, I Would Love To Meet You Face To Face After My Shadow-Walkers Capture You. See You Soon."

Soren had fear written all over his face, looking at me panicking. The sound of whispering invaded my mind again, but of another voice. I shook my head as I walked away from Soren, heading towards the door.

"I'm going to get you out of here, okay? Wait just a bit longer, I promise. We'll get out of this together, you hear me?"

Soren nodded his head as he sat back down on the chair, exiting the room as I saw a group of Shadow-Walkers heading this way. I felt determination within my heart, I felt courage, I felt brave, I felt good about myself. I'm going to save Soren and get rid of D.E.F.E.A.T. I'll kill you all, all of you, every horrific event that comes my way. I'll handle it because I know that I am not alone anymore. I won't die like a coward, I will die as a Wanderer, who I was meant to be. To explore the known, the unknown, to have a journey with my Lord. The tape concludes with Just yelling out loud at the Shadow-Walker approaching him as he summons the Staff of Rotten Deceived, Sophismae appearing behind him with her arms around his shoulder.~

-End of Story Tape #21-