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This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

When one reincarnates into the protagonist there are often two reactions. Glee or overwhelming terror. For her? There was not one shred of fear. After all, of all the Shonen protagonists, there was one above all that could so easily become broken in their setting with just a little effort. Sadly, it appears as if that Golden Thing that she had surprised had already thought of that, and so much more...

BalancedSelfInsert · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
100 Chs

The World Moves Forward

Blue eyes slowly slid across the scroll in her hands. 'I'm going to fucking blow my brains out.' Staring at the report she'd blink a few times, before re-reading the last line. Then again, and again. 'I can't even fucking remember what this says.' 

Letting out a groan Naruko would stand up and with a thought pop all the clones. Taking a deep breath through the surge of memories with a groan she'd crack her neck and roll her shoulders, before beginning to walk out of the library. 'This is horrific. If that old bastard makes me Hokage I'm immediately reforming that shit. Screw what anyone says.' Stepping out of the library she'd distantly note the seals flashing across the building as she left. 'Still haven't figured out how someone would sneak in here yet...' 

Shaking that thought out of her head she began to walk into central Konoha. 'Alright. Let's get some food, steal all the alcohol possible, and then continue ugh - reading more of these old war reports.' 

-????????-

He ducked under the red fist, and his own fist rose up to slam into the man, causing him to soar backward directly into a golden arrow that pierced the shoulder of the red monster.

With a simple flex of chakra, he surged forward ignoring the Genjutsu being played, leaped into the air twisting mid-air, and landed directly on top of the head of the archer. With a twist of his body, his legs were locked around the man's neck, and he'd land on the ground on his hands. Pushing himself in a forward motion he launched the archer directly into the flute player, and while still on his hands would flip himself up, curl himself into a ball mid-air, and then with a fair bit of strength unfurl himself, causing his feet to slam into the oncoming two-headed monstrosity.

Kimimaro stood blank-eyed as the famed 'Sound Four' in their Curse Mark stage 2 forms groaned pathetically on the ground without even making him use his own curse mark.

"You're still pathetic. The fact you even dare to declare yourself to be Orochimaru-sama's bodyguards should make me execute you, but sadly Orochimaru-sama still requires you. So you will get better. Every day, day after day we will train until you finally have enough power to be slightly useful. Am I understood?"

His only response was groans. "Pathetic."

-Itachi Uchiha-

"It's said the Kyuubi Jinchuriki is only growing more powerful by the day." Kisame looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "We'll slowly begin moving soon, you think we should go after her now Itachi?"

Itachi eyes scanned the forest ahead of them as he continued jumping across the trees before he shook his head. "No. You know as well as I do that the Leader said we can only deal with them in order. Besides, Hiruzen Sarutobi is still alive, and we can never pinpoint the location of Commander Dragon. It will be up to the spy to deal with the first Jinchuriki."

Kisame grinned at him, shark teeth flashing. "Speaking of Dragon you used to be ANBU right? Do you know who he is?"

Itachi didn't respond but continued moving and Kisame sighed behind him. Ten minutes later he said out of nowhere, "I don't know who Dragon is, but if you ever have seen him in action you'll never want to again. He's not as fast as me. He's not as strong as me. He doesn't have as much chakra as me. Nor chakra control."

"Sounds like an easy match then."

Itachi shook his head. "He's not the Commander of ANBU because he's the strongest Shinobi. He's the Commander of ANBU because he's the best Shinobi. If he wanted someone to die, they would die."

Kisame chuckled. "Sounds like you should be dead then. Not so scary then, eh?"

Itachi stopped looking behind him at Kisame. "No. I'm simply alive because I'm prey to hunt in the future. Do not underestimate the Greatest of the Five Kisame." With that said he took off again going even faster than before cutting off all possibility of conversation.

"Yeesh. He's still so bad at conversation, does he think I don't know that Dragon is scary?" Shaking his head with a chuckle Kisame would pick up the pace as well.

-The Spy of Suna-

"Understood Leader. I'll wait for the appropriate time to strike. Shall I defect afterward?" After getting the reply he nodded and stood up, cutting off the chakra going into the ring on his finger. Slipping the ring into his pocket, he would walk out of the shadowed room. With a soft smile on his face, he stepped into Sunagakure proper. 'Now, how to get the Ichibi Jinchuriki alone...' 

-Onoki- 

Setting behind his desk Onoki would let out a sigh. 'Damn Kyuubi Jinchuriki. It looks like this war will have to transition into large-scale battles soon. At least the Yellow Flash is dead.' 

Looking up to the ceiling he'd call out, "ANBU." A masked man dropped to the ground and the Tsuchikage would begin to give out his orders. "Relay these orders - effective immediately we are shifting to large-scale warfare, our Jinchuriki are to pullback, and for the Kamizura to head to the Land of Stone."

"Yes Tsuchikage-sama." The masked man flickered off to relay the orders given to him.

-Yagura- 

"Tell Utakata to fall back. There is no point in his probing efforts into Konoha, especially with Killer Bee constantly showing up."

"Yes, Mizukage-sama."

"Tell Mei she's now officially in charge of the Kumogakure warfront."

"Yes, Mizukage-sama."

"Have Zabuza and Haku take charge of the Konohagakure warfront. Ao will supervise."

There was barely a second of pause before, "Yes Mizukage-sama."

"That's all, go."

"Yes Mizukage-sama."

'Let's see how Haku and Zabuza's training have paid off. Ao will attempt to save Haku if necessary. Now, what should we do about you?' 

-Tsunade-

"Tsunade-sensei, Zabuza of the Mist, and an unknown shinobi have taken charge of the Kiri warfront."

Tsunade blinked before chugging down her cup. "So Yagura has decided he should focus on Kumo? Alright, regroup and reorganize. He's no longer sending probing attacks and will begin full-on assaults with assassinations hidden during the attacks. I'll tell the old man about it."

Shizune bowed. "I'll tell the Platoon Leaders."

Tsunade waved her off. "Yeah, do that. I have more important things to do." She accented that by pouring more Sake into her cup.

-Jiraiya-

"WOOH! Shake it girl!"

"WEEEEE! She movin' like the wind, and shakin' like the water."

Jiraiya grinned at Killer Bee as they peaked into the falls. "Yo, Legendary Pervert bro! After this we have to brawl or else Bro will give me the claw, ya feel?"

Jiraiya nodded. "Sure, sure. But first. Look at that BOUNCE!"

-Kakashi Hatake-

"13!"

"11!"

"Hah! Your youth is fading Kakashi!"

Kakashi sighed. 'I hate war. Always exhausted. Always fighting. No time to read.' 

-Yugito Nii-

Yugito sat with her eyes closed in front of the Waterfall of Truth, just like how they had been every day since coming to the island. 'How do I beat... myself?' It was a question she had struggled with for a long, long time. One she still had not managed to answer. 'You don't.' It was a statement both Killer Bee and the Nibi had said, but what did it mean? 'How do I beat myself, by not beating myself?' 

The world keeps spinning. On and on we go. I wanted to showcase what different people were doing, as well as different leadership styles.

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