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This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

When one reincarnates into the protagonist there are often two reactions. Glee or overwhelming terror. For her? There was not one shred of fear. After all, of all the Shonen protagonists, there was one above all that could so easily become broken in their setting with just a little effort. Sadly, it appears as if that Golden Thing that she had surprised had already thought of that, and so much more...

BalancedSelfInsert · Anime & Comics
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99 Chs

The Teams Perspective

-Sasuke-

"My ink snakes are going in. Wait three minutes for Naruko-sensei to distract them, and then we'll go in as well."

Nodding along, Sasuke would take a deep breath and close his eyes. 'You can do this. You're Uchiha.' His hands did not shake, even though his first kill was about to be in fact numerous first kills. He calmed himself. 'I can do this. I am Shinobi. I am Uchiha.' Taking another deep breath his eyes would shoot open, a Two-Tomoe and a Three-Tomoe Sharingan spinning in his left and right eyes.

Yet, when he did so horror struck him. "JUMP!" The second he said it he jumped, and so did Sai, but Sakura was too slow and was blown closer to the Bandit Camp by a swell of water, a mere blur chasing after her.

Sasuke lunged trying to stop the blur from going after Sakura, but another Shinobi wearing a pale-purple flak jacket and a Kiri headband stopped him by throwing a handful of Shuriken in his path. "Tch." The Tomoe in his eyes began to spin rapidly. 'I'll just deal with you first then!' 

He went through hand seals as the Kiri Shinobi approached, "Fire Style: Great Fireball Jutsu!" A fireball left his lips as he pulled out a pair of Shuriken and threw them through it, before rushing forward.

-Sai-

As Sasuke said jump, he reacted instantly. Leaping through the air, he pulled out the ninjato on his back, before using it like a tip of a brush to quickly scribble out multiple beasts. With a flick of his sword, the scroll went flying forward a myriad of beasts bursting forth and towards two oncoming Kiri Shinobi, giving them no time to react. Landing on the ground he continued forward. With a lunge, he would knick one of the Shinobi on the cheek and cut off some of his blue hair, before ducking underneath a Kunai. 'Now.'

A snake burst forward from the grass and with a hiss wrapped around the legs of the first Kiri Shinobi. A large cat rushed forward at the same time, and with a "ROAR!" leaped forward intending to headbutt him.

All the while this was happening, Sai himself had managed to recover and was clashing with the second Kiri Shinobi. Positioning himself, he looked over towards Sasuke and assessed the combat. 'Slow. An Experienced Chunin, but nothing special. Sasuke will survive.' With that conclusion, he focused on his own combat. 'The first one is stuck for now, but more snakes will be needed. So I need to deal with this one. Focus the beasts on him, giving me more time to draw...' 

Taking his second hand off his sword, he unfurled an already-prepared scroll and thrust it forward. 'It's still fresh enough, good.' Surging his chakra through it. Directly in the face of the man he was facing a titanic black & white lion lept out of the scroll and attempted to bite his head off. 'Alright, this should give me enough time.' 

Jumping backwards he pulled out another scroll and started to quickly draw. "Fuck! What the hell is up with these kids?" With a growl showing off his fanged teeth, the Second Shinobi managed to form a Water Clone to temporarily help him with the beast facing him and began to go through seals. 'I have enough time.' With a satisfied grin on his face, Sai slammed his hands onto the scroll. "Super Beast Imitating Drawing: Pride of Lions & Hoarde of Snakes!" Out of the scroll came four lions and a dozen snakes. The lions surged towards their target who was just completing his Ninjutsu, and the snakes went towards the first Kiri Shinobi that was about to get out of his snake binding.

Sai stood up from the ground, "Please surrender, you have already lost." He didn't expect them to surrender, but it was a part of being a good Konoha Shinobi. 'Or at least that's what Naruko-sensei says!' 

As expected they both shouted out.

"Like hell!"

"I'm gonna rip you too shreds, kid!"

'Danzo-sama is correct. Kiri shinobi do say death threats when they feel fear.' 

Sai lunged forward once more, sword held tightly in both hands.

-Sakura-

Hearing the shout of jump, there was a brief hesitation, and that's all it took. A swirl of water collided with her. Her ribs creaked as she was pushed back, water filling her lungs.

A moment later she collided with a tree and started coughing. With shaking legs and throbbing ribs, Sakura slowly stood up. 'What happened?' It was through sheer luck that she stumbled to the side while standing up, barely dodging the strangely pronged swords that inserted themselves into the tree where her chest just was. 'No!' 

With pure fear and adrenaline fueling her she barely managed to dodge the second swing. "Hah! You're a pretty amusing kid. Let's see how long you can dodge!" The red-haired woman grinned at her showing off pointed teeth, and lunged forward.

Sakura managed to pull out a Kunai in time to help her deflect one of the swords, while she stumbled out of the way of another. "Ooh~ you did it again. What if I go a little bit faster?" The woman was a blur, and it seemed like sheer luck as once again Sakura managed to dodge out of the way.

A hint of anger seeped into her voice as the red-haired Shinobi stared at Sakura, "Alright. Enough of this. It was funny, now it's just annoying!" The woman's killing intent leaked from her, and Sakura instantly froze as her mind was filled with numerous different scenes of her death. 'I have to.... move! I can't die! I don't want to die!' Tears falling from her eyes, she managed to slowly move her body, but it wasn't enough.

"Get away from my student Ameyuri Ringo!" A voice fueled by sheer rage, and the clanging of swords was what alerted Sakura to the fact she was still alive. She fell to the ground in shock, taking deep breaths. 'Ialmostdied. I almost died. I almost died!Her vision began to turn fuzzy as ringing filled her ears. Her breaths came out weak, and rapid.

'Why? Sensei said this was supposed to be an easy mission! I thought...' Her thoughts froze for a few moments as a choked sob left her, before a voice whispered inside of her, before growing stronger. 'Get up. GET UP! Stop being so PATHETIC! Get up and HELP!' Sakura's breath stilled for a second, before with a grunt of exertion she stood herself up.

'That's right. I almost died. But I'm alive! I'm alive!' Blinking to clear her eyesight, she took a deep breath, before going through hand signs. She poured her chakra into it, and when that wasn't enough - for she knew it wouldn't be, she converted more and more of her Stamina into Chakra. 'It's not enough!' She poured more and more into it, before at the final seal, she managed to whisper out, "Genjutsu: Mirage"

The next second she began to fall to the ground. 'I hope... I helped.' There was a small smile on Sakura as her tear-stained face hit the dirt and passed out.

-Sasuke-

Panting, the moss-green-haired woman would grin at him. "Not bad kid. Sadly, it's not good enough. I'm sure Mizukage-sama will reward me for taking those eyes."

Slowly, as if taunting him, she began to go through handseals. 'No! I won't die here!' He unknowingly began to go through the same exact handseals as her. 'I won't! I won't die until I kill Itachi and avenge my clan! I REFUSE!' His left eye began to rapidly spin, before from two tomoe came three.

Standing, finally blazing in his eyes, was a complete 3-Tomoe Sharingan. As he instinctively printed the last seal, his chakra shifted and changed. It grew in size and power as the heritage of the Uchiha was once more shown to the world.

A Jutsu he learned on the fly spewed out of his mouth, perfectly matching and counteracting the Kiri Shinobi. "What?!? Impossible!"

"No. Nothing is impossible... in front of a Uchiha!"

He rushed forward faster than ever. "Now die!" While the woman was still in shock, both at the Jutsu he used and his new speed, his Kunai thrust forward.

Blood sprayed across Sasukes grim face. A moment later he sheathed his Kunai and turned around. "Rest in the purelands, knowing the gift you've given me this day." With that said he began to rush towards where he last spotted Sakura.

-Sai-

Lunging forward he was methodical as he worked with his beasts. They pincered the Shinobi, attacking at all angles, and began to overwhelm him. "You fucking brat!" With a groan of pain and exhaustion, the man tried to use another Jutsu, but a lion leaped forward and took a bite out of his arm. "FUCK!"

Sai took that opportunity with pain overwhelming the man to grab his blade with both hands and slam the handle directly into the back of the man's head. A moment later the Kiri Shinobi crumbled to the ground. 

Looking over he'd nod slightly at the sight of his snakes having choked out the other Kiri Shinobi. Focusing slightly on them, half of them would uncurl around the first unconscious Kiri Shinobi, and come on up to this one to tie him up.

'I feel Naruko-sensei, and Sasukes moving towards her. Everything is okay then.' He began to head back. 'Now the books say I should say some quip-like in situations like this. What should I say? What about, that was easy? No. Maybe are we sure those were Shinobi and not toddlers? No, that's not funny. Or is it? Oh! I know.' 

"Sensei. I don't believe this is a C-Rank Mission." As Naruko-sensei broke out in laughter Sai nodded. 'Good. It was funny!' Sasuke sighed. 'Why did he sigh?!?' 

Almost 1000 Collections. Almost 1000 Total Powerstones. Almost 100,000 Words.

We're coming up on MASSIVE milestones everyone. So I'll let you all choose, what side chapter do you want to see? Pick just about anything, and I'll write it. Maybe I'll even choose a few of them for a Giga-chapter.

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