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This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

When one reincarnates into the protagonist there are often two reactions. Glee or overwhelming terror. For her? There was not one shred of fear. After all, of all the Shonen protagonists, there was one above all that could so easily become broken in their setting with just a little effort. Sadly, it appears as if that Golden Thing that she had surprised had already thought of that, and so much more...

BalancedSelfInsert · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
100 Chs

Special Chapter Part 1

-Gaara of the Sand-

His feet softly glided across the sand as he stepped forward. With calm eyes, he looked around before finally landing on the sleeping titanic Tanuki in front of him. "Shukaku."

As Shukaku shifted the entire desert moved with him, and a moment later golden diamond eyes stared down at Gaara. "What do you want brat? I was sleeping, can't you see?!?" 

Gaara didn't even blink at the comment, nor the hypocrisy of Shikaku being allowed to sleep, and him not. "The Kazekage is planning something idiotic. I will need to borrow your chakra soon."

Shukaku let out a feral growl his eyes going insane, "Let's kill him! I'll give you all the chakra you'd ever want if you fight him."  

Gaara merely nodded, not even blinking at the mention of killing his father. "If necessary, yes. But that's not what I'm talking about." With that said Gaara cut off the connection to his seal, and his eyes snapped open in the real world. 

Raising his hand, the desert around him shifted, as a wave of sand came soaring upwards blocking the tsunami of iron sand that came towards him. His voice was dry, yet neutral as he stood up and spoke, "So it's true, one of the Puppet Core did kill the Sandaime Kazekage."

Cresting over a hill of sand outcame the puppets of the Sandaime Kazekage and the Shodai Mizukage. Staring at the chakra strings that went far off into a distance Gaara would shake his head. 'What a pathetic rat! But HAHAHAHAHA! We get to kill the Sandaime!' As Shukaku's bloodlust began to rise, so too did Gaaras. A mad grin spread across his face as killing intent leaked out of him.

"If you won't come to face me yourself, then leave your puppets here!" Titanic hands made out of sand came out of the ground reaching for the two puppets as Gaara thrust his hand forward, and in response, they both leaped backwards, Iron Sand coming up to counter the hands at the same time the Shodai Mizukage puppet began to make hand seals. 'Water Jutsu? Shukaku!'  'HAHAHA! Let's play!' As Shukaku madly cackled Gaaras eyes turned golden as a diamond surrounded by four dots replaced his pupil. His left hand thrust forward towards the Shodai Mizukage, and a wave of titanic sand covered in blue curse markings countered the gigantic blast of water that was loosened from the puppet's aged mouth. With his right hand, he focused, and dense sand filled with Magnet Release Chakra soared towards the oncoming Iron Sand, before merging with the Sand Hands he had already released, turning them into titanic Monstrous Arms that were filled with curse seals.

The battle was brutal as he faced off against the puppets of two Kage. The entire desert shifted and moved as the battle waged on, but eventually, Gaara once more spoke out loud. "Pathetic. This isn't even a fraction of the Sandaime's power. Even Shukaku respected him." Both of his hands spread wide, his palms facing the air, and then they slowly rose. With a groan of exertion, it seemed as if the entirety of the desert moved with him. "Sand Binding Prison." As what appeared to be an ocean's worth of sand filled with blue curse marks moved at the same time forming into a perfect ball capturing both the Shodai Mizukage and the Sandaime Kazekage, the chakra string shattered. With a mad grin on Gaara's face, he placed his hand on the desert floor and slowly gripped it. "Sand Waterfall Imperial Funeral." The sound of wood and metal shattering filled the area as the ball of sand encasing the Shodai and Sandaime rapidly compressed, and slowly, Gaaras face shifted back to normal.

Taking a deep breath Gaara would begin to walk back to the Village. 'Thank you Shukaku.' 'Hahaha! Don't mention it. Keep killing people for me kid!

An hour later he stepped back into his village his face remained neutral even as the mixed looks of fear, but also respect slowly began to spread upon the people's faces. Turning his head towards an ANBU that had appeared on the roof he spoke out still monotone, "Tell my Father that I will be meeting him soon after I see Temari and Kankuro." With that said he continued his walk through Suna.

-Shino Aburame- 

Staring at the baby bright-red Kikaichū on his palm for a brief moment his mouth twitched upwards. 'It worked.' The Kikaichū burrowing back inside of his body, he'd stand up and step out of his room, down the stairs, and towards his father's nesting room. Stopping at the door, he'd firmly knock. "Come in."

Shino opened the door and was immediately assaulted by the dry heat of the room, and the mixed smell of green apple with mildew. "Father the experiment was successful." His tone was perfectly even and slow, not showcasing his excitement.

His father turned around, a few purple insects sinking into his body as he did so. "I see. Inform me when they grow up about the parameters of this new mutation." Just like his own, his father's voice was dry, even, and straight to the point.

"Yes, father. Should I continue?" Shino adjusted his glasses slightly, a hint of a nervous tic seeping in.

His father stared a few moments before slightly nodding. "Indeed. When possible continue to expose part of your Kikaichū to increasing amounts of the chakra so we can see the limitations."

Shino bowed his head. "I will do so father, I have team training now. I will be back for dinner."

His father turned around. "Very well, remember not to use the new mutation until proper testing is done."

"Yes, father." Stepping back out of the room and closing the door, he'd make his way out of the house, out of the Aburame complex, and into Konoha proper. A dozen minutes after navigating his way through the sparse streets, he'd find himself inside the training grounds, a proper 20 minutes early. 

Sitting down, Shino would slowly begin to eat his breakfast, so that the time any conversation and warmup was over it would be digested. 'Today is sparring. As usual, it will be ineffective for me. The Hyuga taijutsu can be countered in any other situation except for this one, and Kiba is still subpar.' He did not sigh, but simply packed up his breakfast when finished and closed his eyes, ready for the day of training that was coming.

-Masked One- 

Stepping through the rain their Akatsuki cloak and a swirly orange mask would protect them and hide their identity. A singular eye-hole on the right side of their face allowed them to navigate the streets and find themselves in front of a small house. Not even knocking on the door, they'd simply phase through the wall. "Yahiko." Their voice was rumbly, yet overall neutral in gender, and tone.

The orange-haired man sitting at the table would blink before standing up hurriedly. "Tobi." There was a guardedness to his tone before he coughed slightly paling, bits of blood spilling from their lips.

"Sit down Yahiko. If I wanted to kill you I would have done it long ago." Following their own command, the one named Tobi sat down, and Yahiko did so warily as well. "Inform me of how the Akatsuki is doing in the capturing of the Bijuu."

Coughing slightly, and his eyes still wary Yahiko would begin to explain. "We recently failed in our attempts to grab Gaara of the Sand, but our spy assures us that they'll do it properly next time. Outside of that, we've found that Yugito Nii has finally re-appeared in Kumo, and so we are preparing our spies to figure out her schedule and patterns. Yagura himself remains mysterious. Roshi and Han have been frequently seen surrounded by Shinobi, and have constantly been near the frontline."

Taking a moment to hack into a napkin Yahiko would continue, "Utakata has for now retreated to Kiri, but it's expected he will soon leave again. Fuu has been guarded by Kakashi Hatake, Might Guy, or the Earthen Wall, but we're confident when the time comes we'll be able to grab her. As for Killer Bee, he was last seen fighting Jiraiya of the Sannin, before heading back to Kumo and has not been seen since. Finally, the Kyuubi Jinchuriki remains the most active and has been spotted all over the nation, particularly with her clones. As you know we'll be saving her for last because of the might of the Kyuubi within."

Behind the mask, Tobi's one visible eye would narrow. "I see. Very well then, I shall continue to fund the Land of Storms. I expect the next time we speak to have at least one Jinchuriki captured. One last thing - do not underestimate Kakashi Hatake or Might Guy. They are not the same as the Earthen Wall." With that said appearing beneath Tobi's mask, a Mangekyou Sharingan became visible to Yahiko. With a pulse of their chakra a black blocky, yet strangely circular rift in space would appear, and Tobi would stand up and step through it. A moment later they'd arrive in front of a house. "Zetsu." Their voice remained neutral.

A black figure rose up from the ground. "Yes?" Yellow eyes stared into Tobi's Mangekyou.

"The Akatsuki are taking longer than I wish. Inform the spy inside of Suna that if they succeed I will grant them the body of Sakumo Hatake."

Zetsu bowed. "I will communicate it."

Tobi stared for a moment before nodding. "Very well." The Mangekyou in their eye socket spun slightly, and what seemed to be a whirlpool made out of space itself sucked them into their pocket dimension. They landed directly in front of a glass tube, and for a long, long while Tobi simply stared, before shutting their eyes and letting out a sigh.

-Madara Uchiha-

Sitting on a rickety old beach chair the aged Madara who was nearly completely wrinkled and with white hair could be seen with his eyes closed. He softly, yet harshly breathed in and out with his eyes closed, before coming from the sand came a white figure with a swirl much like Tobi's mask for a face. "Madara-sama! Madara-sama! The Akatsuki failed to grab the Ichibi." Madara groaned, his eyes opening. Shifting slightly so that he would be able to eventually stand up, the cracking and cracking of bones could be heard, and his labored breath got even worse.

"I see." With a great hacking cough, he would begin to let out a chuckle. "Have they tried anything on any of the others?"

"No Madara-sama! It appears they're just going around doing ordinary missions and getting money. Even their spy in Iwagakure isn't doing anything." Madara would nod slightly before grabbing his Gunbai and with a great heave force himself up onto his feat. 

"Alright Zetsu, it's time for us to begin our plans as well." With a groan, he would begin to walk forward stepping onto the waters of the ocean in front of him. "How embarrassing isn't it Zetsu? That I have to use Hashirama's damned cells to stay alive for this long, even then I feel so weak."

"At least you don't have to poop any more Madara-sama!" Letting out a sigh at his companion's stupidity, Madara would continue across the ocean, before inevitably leaving sight of the beach...