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This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

When one reincarnates into the protagonist there are often two reactions. Glee or overwhelming terror. For her? There was not one shred of fear. After all, of all the Shonen protagonists, there was one above all that could so easily become broken in their setting with just a little effort. Sadly, it appears as if that Golden Thing that she had surprised had already thought of that, and so much more...

BalancedSelfInsert · Anime & Comics
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100 Chs

Preparations

Blue eyes surveyed the forested training ground, with a prominent frown spread across whiskered cheeks. "This place is bigger than I thought, did they expand it recently?" Hearing roars off in the distance, the slithering of snakes, the humming of bugs, and the twittering of birds the frown remained on Naruko's face.

Reaching out with her senses a hum escaped from her lips as her eyes shuttered closed. 'I was wondering if anyone would put Shinobi in the forest before the exams, but it appears not. Unless they're managing to hide from me?' Deciding to switch it up, instead of reaching out with her Mind's Eye, a finger touched the tree and a vibrant yellow chakra pulsed outwards invisibly as Naruko used Tobirama Senju's famed sensory technique. 'Nothing with this one.'  Standing up straight her eyes would open once more, and she began to ponder. 'Curious. I could have sworn Orochimaru, Rasa, A, or Ohnoki would send someone to try something. Is there really nothing in 44?'  

The Chunin Exams started in just a singular day, and finding absolutely nothing was disturbing, to say the least. No invaders, no spies, no traps, nothing. Not in the first exam venue, not in the forest for the second exam, and not even in the tower. 

Nothing. The only thing that had even alerted her to something being off was her past life memories and the Suna squads that came, and more specifically - him—Gaara of the Sand.

To say that when Naruko saw him she was surprised, was an understatement. She had expected a tiny ball of rage and malice, a psychopath. Instead, there was simply the tamed fury of the sands and sheer power. The chakra coiled in his form was far beyond what a mere one-tails Jinchuriki should have, and was a sign of not only his Kage lineage but also the fact that Shukaku was sealed into him while in the womb - the perfect Jinchuriki and Weapon. 

Even now, all this distance away, Naruko could feel the ground howling, begging to be turned into sand to be used by its master. It was disturbing, and only just one of the many signs that the Bijuu truly were a shard of a world-devouring entity made out of pure natural energy.

But, that was beside the point. His appearance here could only mean one thing. Blue-slitted eyes narrowed as a fanged grin stretched across Naruko's face. 'Rasa, I thought you were smarter than this - you led me to believe so. Surely you don't believe in what Orochimaru or others whisper in your ear?'

Yet, the fact that Gaara was here would speak to the opposite of this fact. One could argue that 'canon' Gaara lacked the qualities of Chunin. Leadership, tactical thinking, and the like - although she did not know this Gaara, there was a honed edge to him, a look in his face, and the grace of a true Shinobi - nay a Kage. 

Although she had only observed this Gaara for a few moments, he moved like the most experienced of Jonin, and in many ways so did Temari and even to a lesser extent Kankuro. 'So then... You send a Kage candidate, a possible Jonin, and an experienced chunin to our exams labeled Genin. There are no signs of traps, spies, or anything like that. So - it's obvious, you'll be attacking either in the month break - which is unlikely as the Shinobi delegates will be out of the village during that month. OR - you'll attack in the third exam. The plan is very similar to canon in that case, but will Orochimaru try to get a Curse Mark on Sasuke?'

That was the tricky part, and one she wouldn't be able to answer. This Orochimaru was strong. By all accounts, he was a Perfect Sage, a master of every form of Shinobi Art, and only surpassed by 3 living Shinobi, and 2 dead ones. Could Itachi beat him? She didn't know, this Orochimaru was a member of the true legendary Sannin, much like back in the original Naruto where both Itachi and Kisame had to flee from Jiraiya alone. 'At that level of power, a regular Sharingan is useless. Especially if not empowered by Six Paths chakra. But if he believes his Senjutsu could empower it he may - nay he definitely would go after Sasuke, even if he's confident in his power a bout with an unequaled Genjutsu Master isn't worth it. So, why not go after the far weaker younger brother?' 

A breath escaped from her lungs, and Naruko shook her head. 'Too many questions, I can't formulate a proper response. The only thing that can be expected is that he won't do anything in the first Exam. I'd be too close, and no matter how arrogant he is, he wouldn't take on both Gramps and myself at the same time - let alone Gramps, Gai, and myself.' 

Staring at the bark of a tree still deep in thought Naruko slowly nodded her head, a plan formulating. 'First things first...' 

-Hokage Office-

Four ANBU silently stood stock still in their hiding places, watching over their Lord and Master the Sandaime Hokage. It was a usual day, no different, apart from the surge of meetings due to the number of foreign Shinobi in the village.

At least to their eyes. 

Cold inhuman blue eyes stared directly into aged brown, and a small frown marred the wrinkled face of Hiruzen Sarutobi. "You reported that you couldn't use Genjutsu."

"I lied." There was no vibrance, no light to her voice. The words, tone, and pitch were cold, short, and to the point. The frown on Hiruzen's face got deeper as he witnessed something he had only seen once, the day Iwa would forever weep and mourn - the day Minato Namikaze marked the world as his and his alone.  That same look that had even sent a shiver down his spine a few short two decades ago. "There's over a 97% chance that Suna has turned against us, and that Orochimaru will attack during the Chunin Exams."

Aged brown eyes narrowed and with just that motion for a brief barely there moment there was a groaning sound as the floorboards began to shake and quiver, and the glass rattled. A pressure unlike any she had ever felt at the mere mention of the Snake Sannin escaped from the Aged Kage. It was not titanically large. It was not sharp. It was not overly oppressive. One couldn't even call it impressive for a Kage. Yet, somehow, Naruko had to lock her knees even with a minuscule amount of Kyuubi Chakra seeping into her system empowering her. 

She managed not to lose her breath as she continued on at his orders, "Suna sent their Jinchuriki, and he's nothing like our reports mentioned, not even like what our guards and ANBU who checked on him when he entered. He's controlled, and sharp. By all accounts, you couldn't even differentiate him from the likes of Kakashi by how he moves. The sister - Temari while fresh is obviously almost if not a Jonin, and the puppet brother Kankuro is clearly an experienced Chunin. As for Orochimaru..."

Her eyes narrowed even as she once more was battered by a wave of pressure, "It's something he said to me in our fight, the move against Jiraiya, and most importantly - who Rasa would trust enough to be strong enough to turn traitor against us. If it were just Kumo or Iwa - we would crush them into the dirt. Kiri wouldn't dare, not with their Kage being a Jinchuriki, and losing most of the Yuki to the purge and all of the Kaguya clan mysteriously. So that leaves Ame or Orochimaru, and if was Amegakure-"

"He'd be floating in our skies right now." Hiruzen leaned back into his chair after cutting off Naruko, eyes still narrowed. "Even though you have no proof, I am inclined to agree. Very well then, what I need...."

-Danzo Shimura- 

His cane tapped onto the floor as he materialized out of the wall, a vaguely disgusted look on his face as he looked at the ANBU still under Genjutsu - this time his own. "This new generation of your guards and ANBU are disgustingly incompetent Hiruzen. The girl is right, there needs to be a reformation."

His old friend remained staring out of the glass of his office, aged wrinkly hands unlike his own tightened behind his back. "It's not the time Danzo."

"It never is." His cane tapped throughout the office as he walked up next to Hiruzen. "I was right, was I not?" His voice was not smug, yet Danzo knew Hiruzen would pick up on it, they had known each other far too long not to.

"Yes."

"Don't be so dour old friend - I told you that when you let Orochimaru go, he would one day come back, and not in the way you wanted. The question remains, will you deal with him - or will you make the girl deal with him?"

"We both know she is not his match, no matter her prowess. Orochimaru would tear her into pieces the moment he entered Sage Mode. The gap between those on the level of a Kage, and those that are beyond it is unfathomable to even the greatest of Shinobi."

"Indeed. She is strong for her age, even stronger than her parents. But, she is getting closer by the day." A sharp look passed by Hiruzen's face, but he didn't comment his thoughts on that. So instead, Danzo pressed on. "You don't believe I'm correct?"

"In your eyes, she may be close. Perhaps using the greatest extent of the Kyuubi's Chakra, she may appear so, but it's shallow still. Power not your own is merely temporary. Her skill, and control of her body can not match the power she gains, and to one of Orochimaru's prowess and strength, the gap will always be obvious." Hiruzen was silent for a moment before saying, "Naruko is smarter than Kushina, possibly even Minato. She's certainly stronger than Minato when he was a young lad. But, that's not enough. It will have to be I that faces Orochimaru, and it will have to be the rest of you - including her, that faces everyone else."

"You believe he'll use Edo Tensei?" Even to him - the Shadow of Konoha the thought was disturbing, even if he didn't show it.

"Yes, and more. I don't know what forces Orochimaru has cultivated, but he would not just arrogantly attack us with a few rotting corpses, he'd need living, breathing Shinobi - and the Sand Village will not be enough."

Danzo's hand clenched around his cane as he thought before his eyes widened. "She knows." Hiruzen turned around slightly, a look of confusion in his eye. "Naruko - she knows what his forces will be, or at least the bulwark. Think about it, she went into no detail for the other village, but for Kiri..."

"She laid out exactly why, particularly mentioning the strange disappearance of the Kaguya clan..." An exhale escaped from Hiruzen's lungs as he turned back to the window. "She wanted us to be prepared to face the Shikotsumyaku but not be able to question us on how. She was distracting me with her demeanor and the usage of Orochimaru to drop that subtle information."

Danzo nodded at that, "Because how she got that information is unexplainable, either because it would be treason," Hiruzen turned towards him once more a mighty glare on his face, "or because it truly is unexplainable."

"Like the Great Elder of the Toad Clan." Hiruzen completed Danzo's thought, his glare turning into a pondering look. "Perhaps. But this is speculation and irrelevant at this moment. I want your two Commanders scouring every single inch of the Arena and 44. Have your Captains replace the proctors of phase 1. Dragon will be undercover as an observer for all phases."

A glint appeared in Danzo's eyes as his friend rattled out orders. 'More and more you show your true self. Good. Maybe we will once more survive the storm, especially if we can finally have the Kami no Shinobi lead us, and not the pathetic old man you portray yourself as.' 

Can I start writing people bashing each other's faces in? That was way too much thinking and dialogue.

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