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This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

When one reincarnates into the protagonist there are often two reactions. Glee or overwhelming terror. For her? There was not one shred of fear. After all, of all the Shonen protagonists, there was one above all that could so easily become broken in their setting with just a little effort. Sadly, it appears as if that Golden Thing that she had surprised had already thought of that, and so much more...

BalancedSelfInsert · Anime & Comics
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100 Chs

Farming

"You want me to send a clone to check out... a farming village?" The exasperation in Naruko's voice was obvious.

"Yes, I do. It's on the border between the Land of Storms, the Land of Fields, and us. There's been curious reports, and ninjas have reported subconsciously avoiding it."

Naruko let out a little sigh before nodding. "You want me to go 'cause the Genjutsu probably won't work on me." Hiruzen nodded in agreement. "Alright, fine. Shadow Clone Jutsu." Forming the cross sign and pumping a fair bit of Chakra into it, with a poof of smoke an identical clone of her would form. "You need anything else, Gramps?"

"No, that will be all Naruko, I can tell your clone the details." Nodding she'd form a handseal before disappearing from the office.

"That wasn't a Shunshin." The remaining Naruko would just shrug not commenting.

Letting out a little sigh he'd shake his head before saying, "Here's the details on where you need to go..." 

Jumping through the trees at high speed nearing the end of the day Naruko would pause. 'Oh. That's strong.' She took a step forward, only to pause. Very, every so slowly she would take a step forward and pause, her entire body twitching. 

Her teeth grit, her eyes narrowed, and sweat dripped from her forehead. 'This is obscene! Did Isobu cast this or something?' 'Kura, I think I actually need help.' A rumbling noise was heard before, 'Interesting. Keep going.' Chakra flooded her system as she felt Kurama's peer through her senses. 'The seal is crumbling more and more, whatever. We can talk that out later...' 

With the influx and mixing of their Chakras she slowly pushed through the Genjutsu, and a moment later came upon a large sprawling farming village. 'It's just... filled with ordinary people?' Confused, she'd open up her Mind's Eye of Kagura and.... yup. Just ordinary, she couldn't even sense the Genjutsu that had just been fighting her! 

With a confused look on her face, Naruko would flash through some handseals, "Dance of the Humming Cicada Fifty Step Revolutions of the Kami." Turning invisible and reigning in all of her presence she'd begin to walk around the fields and the village confused. 

It was just an ordinary village... what? 'The hell is going on here?' There were people going about their day. Animals strolling through the streets. Kids playing or working on their family farm. Pregnant women chattering while doing housework, and all sorts of ordinary villager peasant things.

'What the fuck? Why would anyone...' Naruko paused, blinking. 'Oh. That's not good.' Brown eyes stared directly at her as an older man in his sixties with grey hair that had flecks of blonde in it slowly patted next to him on the rocking bench. On his face rested a strange rebreather mask that covered his mouth, and most of his face. 'I'm so fucking glad I'm a shadow clone.' 

Dropping her Jutsu she'd slowly make her way up to him and hesitantly up to him, she'd sit on the bench.

"How are you liking the village?" His voice was aged, yet held an instinctive commanding tone to it as if he was used to being in power.

"It's... nice?"

A small snort escaped from his lips. "You can be honest with me girl, it's just a regular village. It's meant to be my retirement with no one knowing I'm still alive."

Naruko grimaced. "To be fair, I expected a cult, or it too just be Nature Energy being funny. Not Hanzo the Salamander. Maybe even a Kiri base using the Sanbi's chakra."

A small chuckle escaped from him. "You've put me in a conundrum. As a Shadow Clone, I can't stop you from popping long enough for Nagato to come here. But it would cause quite the havoc if the world knew I was alive..." His eyes turned distance as he mused.

Naruko shrugged and hesitantly pointed out, "I could just... not tell anyone?"

Hanzo looked at her before sighing. "I suppose that will have to do." Naruko went to respond before her pupils dilated and a sad sigh escaped her.

"Really? A poison that slows down my thoughts?" Hanzo shrugged in response. Her chakra surged as she channeled lightning chakra through herself, her head turning towards the skies where a red headed man was flying through the skies.

"It was worth a try, child."

Naruko would smile slightly at that comment before nodding to him. "It was nice meeting you Hanzo the Salamander, but I'm afraid I can't allow Nagato to use his Rinnegan Genjutsu, or to try to take the shard of myself in this Shadow Clone." With that, she'd pop.

-Back in the village.-

Nagato landed on the ground his face a blank mask. "You let her escape."

Hanzo shrugged. "Just because I agreed to your demands for the betterment of Amegakure and the Land of Storms, doesn't mean I have to willingly comply all the time. Besides, she broke through the Genjutsu and realized she was poisoned herself."

For a brief moment, his Rinnegan flared glowing before Nagato calmed himself. "I see."

Hanzo chuckled at him. "You can't have everything go to your plans child. Just like how you aren't strong enough to kill me, you aren't a God. You aren't Omnipotent."

As Nagato's hand rose up, Hanzo stood up himself, strange esoteric markings sprawling across his face as his pupils dilated to the point of a pinprick, before turning a dull, sickly purple. "Do you wish to fight again Nagato? In a village full of innocents? All because of your pride?"

Nagatos hand lowered. "Very well Hanzo." He took off into the skies.

'What a foolish and idealistic child, poisoned by war, and the whispers of the masked one.' He sighed before sitting back down, watching the village of peasants at peace. 

-Main Naruko- 

'What the fuck Gramps! When you said Genjutsu, I thought you meant something it was *feasible* for people to break. Not a Genjutsu cast by the fucking RINNEGAN!' Groaning she'd pause her training, pulsing chakra into her arm and leg bands. 'Bad news after bad news. Gramps can't make stronger leg bands so these will be the last set, and now apparently Hanzo is alive.' 

Creating a shadow clone that would head on over to Gramps to report, Naruko would get back to training. 'Definently don't try to send troops to the Land of Storms gramps. Fuck. Hanzo AND Nagato? Kami that bastard is scary. I couldn't even sense his chakra the entire time...' 

Hanzo farmed the Shinobi world with his scythe, now he's doing it with actual crops :eyes:

As a reminder the disco: gvu53aPBuX

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