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This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

When one reincarnates into the protagonist there are often two reactions. Glee or overwhelming terror. For her? There was not one shred of fear. After all, of all the Shonen protagonists, there was one above all that could so easily become broken in their setting with just a little effort. Sadly, it appears as if that Golden Thing that she had surprised had already thought of that, and so much more...

BalancedSelfInsert · Anime & Comics
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100 Chs

Chunin Exams Part 1/?

-Sai-

Sitting in the Jonin lounge for the exams, Sai looked to the side at all the Jonin seemingly not caring he was there. 'Is it because I came with Naruko-sama?' 

A large broad man suddenly appeared sitting down next to him, cigarette already lit. An amused smirk lifted up the man's cheeks causing his pointed beard to twitch. Having long since gotten used to Naruko and Danzo-sama's chakras, he didn't flinch as the roaring volcano-like chakra the man had suddenly appeared next to him. "It's because you'll be a Jonin soon kid. Everyone's heard your sensei bragging about her Team."

Sai's face broke his apathetic mask, his mouth dropping as his eyes widened. 'How did he-' "Just because you'll be one of us one day soon doesn't mean you are one now. Now come on kid, don't just sit here, we don't bite - that much. Look, your sensei is the only one that does that!" Glancing over, he saw Naruko actively glaring at a Jonin holding a steaming bowl, her teeth currently clenched around his hand like a feral dog. "Most of us all are at least on friendly relations, if not outright friends or family kid. When you've got someone like your sensei saying you'll be one of our strongest Jonin in a few years - of course, you're welcome to join in. Remember, there's only so many Jonin - let alone the true Elites that call Konoha their home and station."

With that said the man Sai only now connected the dots to being the son of the Hokage patted his shoulder, stood up, and swaggered off. 'Friends... family? Is it really that simple?' 

Then, his mind went back to all the Jonin he saw and knew stayed inside Konoha, and he realized... maybe it was. 'Everyone's connected in some way. Maybe... maybe becoming a Jonin isn't just about power, but about being a part of the 'family'?' 

He stood up and hesitantly began to walk over. 

"SAIII! Help me! Grab this buffoon. RAIDO! Give me my Ramen back! I need to eat before the foreign Jonin gets here!"

"Nope! You've had too much already, this is my snack during the exams now."

"Nooooooooo!"

-Sasuke POV-

Leaning against a tree in front of the academy with his hands in his pockets Sasuke idly watched unnoticed as Genin after Genin passed by without noticing him. "They're pathetic." At his cruel words, a nearly impossible-to-hear thud sounded next to him, Sakura appearing from a tree branch.

"Sasuke-kun, don't be so hard on them! They don't have sensei to teach them after all."

"Hn." Pushing himself off the tree he pulled his hands out of his pockets and raised an eyebrow towards Sakura in a silent question.

"Hai Sasuke-kun, I'm ready. Yeesh, would it kill you to ask out loud?"

Sasuke's lips twitched upwards even as he sauntered forward. "Hn." A smile broke out at the loud sigh that escaped from Sakura before she hurriedly caught up to him. 

"Are we acting like idiots Sasuke-kun like sensei suggested?"

"HN."

"Fine, we won't listen to sensei, but if she yells at us it's your fault!" Sasuke shivered slightly but continued walking forward, seemingly ignoring that haunting sentence from Sakura. "Remember rule #3 though, sensei said they would be here."

For a brief moment, Sasuke paused, before he nodded. "Hai. I won't stare at them." Sasuke could sense Sakura shivering slightly behind him.

"Good, they freak me out every time. How do they guard four gates and participate in the Chunin Exams at the same time? It's so freaky." Sasuke didn't respond to that, even if he agreed. "Alright, onwards Sasuke-kun!" 'She's gotten so assertive... it's a good look on her. She's no longer that weakling.' His lips twitched upwards again and he opened up the Academy doors.

 -Rock Lee- 

His orange legwarmers flashed in the light as he was sent soaring through the air and into the wall, cracking slightly even as he slid down. "Yosh.... this first exam truly is hard!" Even though he said that out loud, internally Rock Lee was focused on the team's plan. 'First step, make us look weak is done.' His eye caught TenTen who nodded.

"*GASP* Lee-san! Are you okay, oh my god how could they do this to you!" She came rushing forward blustering like the foolish fangirl she was meant to portray.

He grinned in response, saying with a big bright smile. "I'm fine TenTen-chan! It was just a single hi-"

GAHK!

He spat out blood onto the floor, face whitening. It was at this point Neji strode forward, face blank. "Idiot, get up." 'His acting has gotten better, just as TenTen's and I's have! This plan should wor-' 

Rock Lee paused spotting beautiful pink hair and vibrant emerald-like eyes, the prettiest he had ever seen, even prettier than his bodysuit! "SAKKKKKKKKKKKURAAAAAAAAA-CHANNNNNNNNN!" His voice echoed out as he disappeared from the floor appearing across the entire hallway. Behind him, at the same exact time, twin sighs echoed out, even as noises of confusion echoed out from the other teams.

"Damnit, we were so close... why did she have to appear now?" 

But, his teammate's words didn't matter to Rock Lee right now - because the most beautiful woman in the entire world was in front of him! "Sakura-chan, how has your week been, it's been so long since I last saw you!"

A smile appeared on her face. It was beauty incarnate. It was beyond anything his mind could comprehend.

He passed out.

"Sage damn it LEE!"

-???-

Her cruel eyes observed the pathetic buffoonery that was happening, and with a disgusted snort, she elegantly walked out of the hallway her team following behind her as the mongrels should. 'Pathetic. Having to act. They are a disgrace to chakra, and he is a disgrace to his blood.' Her purple nails dug into her hands, even as her regal brows furrowed. 'He will need to be punished for such things. How dare he act like that as a member of such a noble clan?' 

-Ibiki-

As more and more people filtered into the room, he remained hidden. Even before the exam had 'begun' the tests were already starting. How would such a large group of Shinobi from different villages act? Would they group up? Would they ostracize themselves? It was all a mind game and was why no proctors were currently in the large refurbished lecture hall. Yet, testing the random Shinobi was his subordinates' duty. As the head of the Interrogation Core, Jonin, and well respected A-class Shinobi he had many other duties...

His gaze landed on the Suna team filled with the Kazekage's three children, and in response, the youngest child of the Kazekage, and host of the One Tail locked gaze with him, even through the one wall mirror he was hidden behind. 'Impressive... but he didn't notice her.' His scarred lips turned upwards into a horrifying smile as one eye moved in a direction towards where a clone of Konohagakure's own Jinchuriki rested, like a beast ready to maul all in its path at the merest provocation. 'Now that's a true monster, heh.' 

Ibiki's gaze turned away from the Kazekage's children, skipped over the Amegakure participants, and landed on his next observation target. Kabuto Yakushi. It was only with leaked information from someone that they had even begun to think the teen was some kind of spy, instead of the medic utterly incompetent in combat that he portrayed himself as. 'Of course, that's in public. We also know that he's a retired ROOT Anbu, but who would have thought he could have possibly hidden himself even deeper? ' It was a shame, his former comrade had been paid quite nicely to be in the last few Exams as protection for Konohgakure's teams, yet it seemed like he was a spy...

'Damn Orochimaru.' His gaze turned towards the last observation target - the team from Otogakure. The three members clearly had a high-ranking Chunin's chakra they didn't even attempt to hide, but it was only because of the previously mentioned Jinchuriki pointing out the other type of chakra on two of them, that they became true observation targets. After all, the new village holding back their best of the best to make a statement was to be expected. 'But two of them have that dreaded curse mark. What are you planning Orochimaru? Sending at minimum 2 Jonin-level Shinobi into Genin Exams... why? What do you need them to do?' 

He observed for a few more minutes, watching idly as target #2 Kabuto talked to the rookie Konoha teams, before finally as the clock struck an exact second, he and his entire team for this part of the exam appeared in the room with a puff of smoke.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP MAGGOTS!" 

-Naruko POV-

Leaning on the wall next to Kakashi, with her eyes closed she gently tapped Kakashi's back. At that sign, his chakra subtly surged forward, and both of their chakras intermingled.

A second later she found herself in a bleach-white room, with titanic bars holding back Kurama behind her, and Kakashi curiously looked around. "So this is the new Jutsu you developed..."

His eyes snapped onto the titanic cage, 3-Tomoe lazily spinning, before he glanced away. "What did you want to speak about Naruko?"

"The Otogakure Jonin." There were no upbeat tones in her voice, instead, it was deadly serious. 

"Mhm...?" 

At the leading unasked question, she let out a sigh, before reluctantly saying....

"He's stronger than me." 

Both of Kakashi's eyes widened in shock, which only got wider as a deep rumbling from behind Naruko could be heard. "Even if this seal was gone, with that Curse Seal that snake brat made, he might be able to match us at least for a short while." 

At that information, Naruko could see his pupils dilating, but she understood. Truly, she did. For even the great and mighty Kyuubi to admit that...

It meant Orochimaru had a subordinate stronger than the Legendary Sannin! 

named by part numbers so there is no spoilers, and I don't have to think ;)

Also, DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNN!

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