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This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

When one reincarnates into the protagonist there are often two reactions. Glee or overwhelming terror. For her? There was not one shred of fear. After all, of all the Shonen protagonists, there was one above all that could so easily become broken in their setting with just a little effort. Sadly, it appears as if that Golden Thing that she had surprised had already thought of that, and so much more...

BalancedSelfInsert · Anime & Comics
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102 Chs

Chunin Exams 4/?

-Naruko/Sensei observation room-

Their little Jonin-sensei 'meeting' had been over for a little bit now, and Naruko continued to lay across the couch, but only she was now scrunched down it so that she could rest her feet across Kakashi's lap. If she used henge a little bit to elongate her limbs to reach his chair - well, no one had to know right?

'This is weird.' Not the whole disaster that was Anko Mitarashi interacting with teenagers thing, no - that was rather expected all things considered. What was weird was still her current fixation. Kimimaro. 'It's strange his power. His chakra is vibrant and strong. He's clearly not sick by any measure, so does that mean he was cured - if so how? If he wasn't sick, then why did Orochimaru not take over his body - OR, did he develop a different technique for immortality? But, still, that's the least of my problems, what's truly strange isn't that. It's himself. Sure he's hiding his chakra, but I can tell he isn't hiding the way he walks, moves, looks around, and the like. Which is what is strange...' 

As her keen senses reached out, tracking him through sound, scent, chakra, and the occasional mental fluctuation when she focused hard Naruko came to the same conclusion time and time again. 'He walks, talks, and breathes like a Jonin. He's not hiding it either, which is strange. When a Kage-level combatant enters a room, EVERYONE knows, unless their purposefully hiding it, yet he's only hiding his chakra from what I can tell. He doesn't have the gravitas even someone like Kakuzu has. He doesn't have the experience, the confidence, or anything of that nature... Oh sure, he seems quite intimidating even among Jonin, but he doesn't move and act like how he should. There's lacking that hint of care-freeness in knowing you are the Apex Predator no matter what room you're in. That you're a monster among monsters.' 

As she watched him stand up now that Phase 1 was over - more than likely to go back to his room, she only confirmed more and more what she had thought. 'He is a Jonin. A Jonin NINJA. Either he doesn't realize how powerful he is, or... he was trained and controlled to not realize his station in the world. No one could suspect he's something more than a Jonin, because he wasn't TRAINED to be in the Shinobi Arts.' 

Why that was, well, she had numerous thoughts. The first of course, was that Orochimaru only wanted him to fight, and so - why train him to be more stealthy? Why train him to be a proper Ninja in all the subtle ways? Why train him to have the gravitas of a Kage or someone on that level? 'The second is of course much more sinister, it's much easier to assassinate someone with Jonin-level stealth and detection abilities than it is someone beyond that. If this is true... it's quite devious, and honestly should be expected from Orochimaru.' Of course, she had a few more theories, which got a bit more interesting. 'The third one is that I'm just outright overestimating him, plagued by the realization that he's a Kimimaro who isn't sick and has the curse mark. But I find that... unlikely on this scale, especially when 'Rama agrees with me. Then that just leaves the last one.' 

It was honestly something she had never thought about and was hesitant it was even possible - not even someone from the Yamanaka clan could do it, at least - not at this level, and not this long. 'But, what if? In scenario number four, a Jonin has taken over his body temporarily, all to play the act, letting him infiltrate and catch us by surprise. Unplausible, seemingly impossible. Yet, it's Orochimaru.' 

As he left the room she waited a few moments, hearing his impossible-to-hear-for-ordinary shinobi footsteps go down the hallway. "Maa, what has you so cranky?"

At the drawl from Kakashi, Naruko let out a sigh. "There's something wrong about that guy." His eye darted to her questioning, and she subtly twitched her left ear, causing his eyebrow to raise. 'No, not his power Kakashi.'

He leaned back into his chair letting out a hum. "Well, he's from a new village, after all, bound to be a few strange things about him. It's a surprise such a new one could even field a proper Jonin."

Naruko nodded, her lips curling upwards causing her cheeks to scrunch. "True, who would have thought they'd have such an established Jonin, and it's said that they have a Kage-level fighter." For a brief moment, faster than anyone in the room bar her could notice, his eye squinted before it returned to normal. 'He got it and has now realized what I have He probably would have noticed it if he had the senses I did, too bad he focuses on smell...' 

"Ugh. Will you two stop with the code, you know it's gonna drive everyone here crazy." Blinking to re-center her train of thought Naruko looked over at one of the few true Jonin the Nara clan had - which while she didn't know the full numbers, estimated was less than 20. 'In canon, they only had 4 or 5. So, quite impressive in all honesty.' 

"Code? What code? I have no idea what you mean Daen. Kakashi and I were just having an ordinary conversation." At those innocent words from her, he let out a sigh before closing his eyes.

A low chuckle rumbled through the room and Naruko found her eyes snapping toward the one true Sunagakure Jonin in the room. 'A member of the Netsu family.' It was obvious - both from intelligence and the fact that his chakra had a scorching heat to it. "You Konoha ninjas are always interesting." 

"Maah... it's just Naruko that's so unique, everyone else is boring, just like everywhere else." At the drawled-out words from Kakashi, Naruko let out a huff.

"Pfft! Yeah, right. If anything I'm the one acting Normal, and you're all the insane ones!" With that, she popped like a balloon, exploding in a cloud of smoke that quickly covered Kakashi. A moment later, just as the cloud of smoke disappeared, a pile of leaves rained down on his head.

"Well, I can't help but feel that was unnecessary." At the proceeding burst of laughter and chuckles that came around the room, Kakashi let out a sigh that was mirrored by Daen.

-Naruko Clone #???- 

Standing on top of the tower in the center of the Forest of Death where the second phase of the Chunin Exams would take place, Naruko let out a hum at the flood of information that the Phase 1 Sensei Clone just relayed after popping. 'Interesting. I had wondered whose chakra that was. But what's truly curious is the primary team Sound is fielding. It appears that they're really forcing themselves into this final round. Dosu I expected, but two of the famed Sound Four? With those curse marks of theirs and how their chakra felt, I wonder if they could even give some of the superior or 'Elite' Jonin like Asuma an even fight?' 

At that thought her eyes squinted. 'Orochimaru is truly going all out for this, far beyond what he did in Canon. He's guaranteeing his way into the Third Phase of the Exam and even sent Kimimaro. But... what worries me is the two members of the Sound Fours strength. At least, from the perspective of Chakra they're far stronger than they should be, even for this world. They had to have some serious fucking training for this, and that's worrying...' 

There were a lot of things that Orochimaru didn't do in the original Chunin Exams. He only summoned the former Hokage, he didn't use his army of failed experiments, Jugo, Kimimaro, or Guren. There was probably more that he had kept secret, that had never shown up in Canon or Filler, or perhaps a novel she had never read or came out after she had died. 'But, what's so important about this attack on Konoha compared to the Canon one? His goal clearly can't just be to kill his sensei, both to vindicate his chase for immortality - and to in his mind reprieve his precious sensei of old age. So in that case, what's different here? What's his true goal for this Invasion? There's no way this version of Danzo would allow this unless he's truly tricked even me when I have every reason to be suspicious of him. So Orochimaru should know to expect ROOT forces and Even Danzo too.' 

It was a troubling prospect - but she couldn't start looking wearily at her comrades now, not when an Invasion was coming. Letting out a sigh, Naruko focused back on her duties. 'Let prime me figure it out. For now, my job is just to oversee everything.' 

As time passed she sensed the Genin, Anko, and hidden ANBU make their way to the outside rim of the Forest of Death. Being a mere clone that Kura-chan wasn't focusing in on, alas, she was stuck sensing their chakra and not getting bits about their emotions, and as such couldn't exactly tell what the genin were feeling. 'Albeit there's probably lots of fear. Anko and the Forest of Death are pretty good at it.' 

However, as she recognized a certain signature, her lips twitched upwards. 'So, the plan is being put in place. Wonder who the poor kid was though...' 

With that, she pulled her senses away from the individual she sensed and continued her overview of the area. Time passed, the Genin entered, and inevitably - the first couple of teams made rapid progress before entering the Tower. 'Gaara and that team were expected. Surprised Sasuke and Sakura haven't passed yet though, bad luck? Or maybe their just having some fun.'

Shaking her head, mid-motion she paused. 'There's no fucking way that works. No ONE is gonna believe that.' Looking across the tower, her face spasmed for a moment, before an amused sigh left her lips. "Well, and they say I'm an insane prankster, and my ideas are horrible. What are they gonna say about this blatantly illegal, horrendous lie?"

There was no response for a moment before a brown snake with two rather large horn-like attanaes slowly slithered up the railing of the tower before staring into her eyes. Naruko stared back, and for just a moment - she knew she had a comrade in the utter absurdity and disbelief of what she had just sensed. "It can't be just me that thinks that this shouldn't work right?"

The snake let out a hiss before nodding its head. "I have to brutally rip your head off now though, y'know?"

"HISS" 

"Oh, don't be so snappy. We both know you weren't going to do your job anyway for Orochimaru because Anko is here." There was a moment of silence, before with a pop the snake disappeared. "Tch, damn Tsundere's. Why can't anyone admit when I'm right?"

-Kakashi Hatake-

His eye lazily tracked as Sensei after Sensei filed out of the room, until it was just him, a sleeping Daen Nara, one of the five senseis, and only Jonin of Takigakure in Konoha. His piercing black eyes burrowed into him. "She's safe and fully recovered."

At those words from the Jonin he knew to be Kegon - one of the two guards of Fu the Seven Tails, Kakashi hummed. "That's good. Naruko will be glad she's okay."

A moment of silence passed before, "Ugh. Troublesome, couldn't you two have waited a few hours?" Daen opened his eyes, shifting slightly. "Damn Hatake, damn Foreign Jonin, making me hear that..." His lazy tired eyes sharpened, "But I have a message for you anyways Kegon. Your team and all the Takigakure teams were expected to fail in the 2nd Phase, Hokage-sama is requesting one pass so that Shibuki-sama and Fu-sama may attend the Final Phase." 

Kegon raised an eyebrow at the sudden seriousness but reacted smoothly with a nod of his head. "That's wonderful and all. I would be glad to see that happened, truly I would - if we had been informed a couple of weeks before when we selected the teams that we did when you all requested us to fail before the Third Phase, on top of the fact that my team should already be in the forest by now, and hopefully setting up some kind of trap."

'I wonder...' Kakashi's eye trailed towards the wall and with a flex of his chakra the seals on his headband activated, turning it into a one-way mirror. 'Aah. I see.' "Maah, don't worry about it Kegon-san, it appears that your team has already made it to the tower, strange how they made it so fast. I wonder if their luck will hold up in the preliminaries."

At that, a chuckle escaped from Kegon, and Daen let out a snort, before closing his eyes again. "Troublesome, why don't we rig the Chunin Exams even more and put you in the exams?" Kegon chuckled at that. Kakashi didn't. 'Well actually, that actually sounds like a-' The next second Daen's eyes snapped open, "Please don't actually do that!" 

A subtle breeze passed through the room, a cloud of leaves shrouding Kakashi's sitting form. "I just said don- and he's gone...."

(Sneak Peak of the Special Chapter for 100 chapters, will not be happening at chapter 100.)

"So it's you..."

"Indeed, I'm afraid I can not allow you to take another step forward."

There was no emotion, no flicker of surprise. Both of the men standing on the same tree branch didn't even twitch to face each other.

"You will die stopping me."

"Perhaps, but you will not touch my village." There was no hesitation, no fear, just conviction. At these words as in reaction to his proclamation, four figures surrounded the duo, one of them radiating chakra on par with any of the Five-Kage, two of them dwarfing even the Kage, and one? One was so incalculably large that even the second and third Shinobi seemed like mere children. It was upon their arrival, that the first man's eyes widened slightly, showcasing emotion for the first time in his rippled purple eyes.

"Impossible..."

One of the two men radiating chakra beyond that of even the Kage had a kind smile on his face as he looked at the second man, ignoring the first one's words, "No Captain. He won't touch OUR village."

The second man's eyes widened for a moment, his first and only sign of emotion throughout the entire encounter before a small smile made its way on his face. "Thank you, Sa...."

(End of Sneak Peak)

1. My other story is officially on hiatus, as after dozens of attempts to write the next chapter, I am just fully writers blocked. I do however an idea for another Naruto story, I know what I want to write, but not what character (not one of the two protagonists) Any clan or canon character ideas y'all want to see? Female or gender bent obviously. Feel free to say literally anyone that isn't Naruto/Sasuke/Hashirama/Madara

2. There will be far less POV spamming from here on out for this exam (bar maybe the Crush itself, and idk how I want to write phase 3 fights)

3. Enjoy the sneak peak, you'll see the actual special chapter at some point during or after the 'crush' ;)

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