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This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

When one reincarnates into the protagonist there are often two reactions. Glee or overwhelming terror. For her? There was not one shred of fear. After all, of all the Shonen protagonists, there was one above all that could so easily become broken in their setting with just a little effort. Sadly, it appears as if that Golden Thing that she had surprised had already thought of that, and so much more...

BalancedSelfInsert · Anime & Comics
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100 Chs

After Mission / A house

Hovering over the two bound Kiri shinobi, Naruko would stare down at them still Henged. "Now, you two gonna be good and tell me why you were here and attacking my team?"

One of them tried to spit at her, and she simply stepped back dodging it. "Fuck off bitch!"

Naruko let out a sigh before flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Alright, I tried to be nice, but I suppose you'll have to just do your best not to get your brain splattered." Her pupils dilated as her mind flicked a switch.

The next moment both of them started spasming, their eyes blown wide in horror. The entirety of her malice lovingly molded by the void itself slammed onto them. "Are you going to tell me what I want to know?" Her voice deepened and started to echo in on itself, her head tilted ever-so-slightly as her pupils slowly got smaller and smaller. "Or would you like to play more?"

They both stopped breathing and she clicked her tongue. "What a bunch of wimps." Narukos killing intent receded back into her as she flipped that little lever again. "Wake up!" She slapped both of them and with a gasp, they woke up screaming. "Oh be quiet! Are you going to tell me what I want to know, or should we try that again?"

They started hyper-ventilating before one of them rapidly nodded. "Yes! I'll tell you everything!" 'Damn. What a bunch of wimps. I didn't even need to use any of K-chans chakra. Maybe the standards for Chunin should be higher, y'know?' 

-A little while later-

"Alright team. Sai thank you for getting the hostages. I'll have a Shadow Clone escort them somewhere safe, it's time to get back home!"

"Sensei, what about the bandits?" Looking at Sasuke Naruko would blink slightly.

"Oh? The bandits? The second I realized something went wrong I slaughtered them all. Now team, back to Konoha!" 'Shame she managed to pick up both her arm and the Kiba Blade. Imagine how much Ramen I could buy by turning that in!' 

-Konohagakure- 

"Alright team, head on home and get some sleep. Tomorrow I'll expect your written reports so we can turn them in, I'll deal with the verbal report for now, alright?"

"Yes, Sensei!" Naruko nodded and walked off heading towards the Hokage Tower. 'Sakura was looking rough, and so was Sasuke. Sai seems fine, however, just a bit tired... They certainly aren't in any position to be reporting right now.' 

Strolling up the side of the Hokage Tower and towards the office window, like usual Naruko ignored all possible proper procedures and simply knocked on the window. 'Just made it in time too. He should be going home soon.' The window slid open, and she hopped on it.

"Guess what Gramps?" Looking at the cheeky smile on her face, he paled.

"No. Again?!?"

"Mhm. Namikaze curse, y'know!" She accented that by patting her usual shade of blonde hair with a smile, her form having returned back to normal once they got near Konoha.

He sighed slumping into his chair. "What went wrong?"

Twirling some hair around her finger she'd shrug sitting down herself, "Well. Does meeting one of the Seven Ninja Swordsman of the mist who had alongside her a Chunin Squad that ambushed my team when I was about 12.3 seconds away from them count as going wrong?"

He closed his eyes and she frowned slightly. 'Sorry Gramps. That must be really bad news. Knowing that once again the Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist managed to infiltrate this deep into our nation.' A moment later he gathered himself and opened his eyes straightening his posture. 'Aah, there he is... Hello Hiruzen Sarutobi. Nice to see you again finally.' "Tell me what exactly happened, and what you know."

-Post mission report, behind the Hokage Monument-

"So this is it?" Looking around she was a bit, well, unenthused. It was an open piece of grassland with nothing inside of it. In response, Gramps simply nodded.

"Yes. The house is invisible of course, and protected from those who try to break in. Good luck."

Naruko stared at the disappearing after-image of a Gramps who decided to fuck off immediately after bringing her to an empty field. 'Well. I can't help but feel like that's a bit of payback.' Letting out a little giggle Naruko would grin. 'But I wonder, will this work?' 

Pulling out a kunai she'd slash her arm open before beginning to wave it around like a mad woman, splattering her blood everywhere. A moment passed, and for a brief second, she contemplated her life decisions. 'I just cut myself wide open for nothing. This isn't going to help my reputation people already think I'm a Sadomasochist!' With internal dread fueling her, it was obvious that Naruko would let out a sigh of relief the second the ground slowly began to rumble.

Appearing out of nowhere like a mirage a small two-story house appeared in front of her. 'Hah! See world! Now everyone that learns about this can't say anything.' Grinning she strolled on up towards the house and pulled on the door. Then she pulled on it again, and then again. 

A vein appeared on her forehead. 'Really?!? You hide it, then you decide to lock it? This better open up with my chakra Mom and Dad, or else I'll kick your asses, y'know?' Placing her hand on the door, she pushed chakra out of her hand and into it. Not even a second passed before 

CLICK!

The door swung open, and Naruko stepped in, instinctively closing the door behind her. Unknowingly, the house once more disappeared, and the ANBU meant to 'guard' her were left watching over an empty field.

"Anti-dust Fuinjutsu, neat." Looking around, she'd take a deep steadying breath to ignore the pounding in her heart and the gut-wrenching feeling she experienced staring at the walls with pictures on them. 'Alright. Kitchen table. Kura-chan said it should be on there.' Walking through the house she'd occasionally stop to stare. 'All of this. These pictures. The artwork. The furniture. This was their life...' 

Finally reaching the table, as expected there were two open scrolls, one of which had an old dried-out brush next to it. Taking a step forward she'd stop and stare at the ink written into the table.

If you ever see this, sorry - Dad

Exhaling Naruko shook her head to clear out the tears bubbling in her eyes. 'It's alright.' Taking another deep breath, she rolled up both of the scrolls before placing them back on the kitchen table. 'Let's see what else there is in here...' 

Stepping out of the kitchen, she ignored the bedroom - because she wasn't ready for that, and instead stepped into another room. It had two couches, a low set table, and a higher table in the corner, and was absolutely filled with bookshelves of scrolls and books. 'Is this all?' 

Stepping forward to look at the bookshelf shock lined her face. 'It is. All of this. Every single one of these...' Her eyes widened slightly. 'Theories. Theories that Dad and Mom had. Wait this shelf it's!' 

Her eyes would widen as she stared at a shelf that held simply three scrolls. "Elemental Rasengan Theories", "Space-Time Fuinjutsu Theories", and "Soul Manipulation" Her hands shook as she stared. 'This... is this all the knowledge they deemed forbidden that they found or learned themselves? That they didn't want to add to the Uzumaki or Namikaze scrolls? Things they never fully realized or completed?' Her eyes roamed across the bookshelves, her heart rate slowly increasing. 'I knew Shinobi could manipulate their souls. Dan Kato and Tobirama could at least. Surely the Uzumaki could at least on some level - but an entire scroll?' 

Naruko slowly sunk down into one of the couches. 'This room doesn't exist. It can't exist. No one can ever know it exists. I'm surprised it even DOES.' 

-Minato Soul Fragment-

His eye twitched. 'For fucks sake Kushina. You removed the destruction seals while I was fighting the masked invader?' 

-Kushina Soul Fragment-

A wide grin spread across her face, 'Get fucked flaky! Baah. 'No Kushina, this information shouldn't exist! What happens if we die? Even we should never use it! Let's destroy it if we ever die early!' This is why I wouldn't let him take the Uzumaki name!' With a giggle, she closed her eyes again. 'You're lucky I don't know Senjutsu Minato-kun! Or else I would have guided her to this earlier!'  

As a reminder for the special chapter, YOU can recommend scenes for other characters! You want to see what Gaara is doing? What about Mei? Then say so! I'll be taking a few things viewers want too see and putting them into the special chapter.

I also updated the Ninja Info Card specifically because of the whole 1k/1k/100k thing. It was painful to do so and I had to add numerous caveats simply because we haven't been exposed to as many combat situations and clear differentiation in powers as Canon Naruto. So it's not the most useful thing, but *shrug*

"Forbidden knowledge? What's that?" - Kushina

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