Chapter 42 - Enies Lobby Pt 4

"So…I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this is bad?" Usopp gulped, his knees knocking furiously together.

"No shit," Zoro and Sanji bit out.

The four Straw Hats still in the Tower of Justice stared past the bridge and towards the massive steel horizon, the Gates of Justice. Said Gates were currently in the process of opening. Slowly, but with the inexorable slowness of a glacier. And it wasn't difficult to figure out why.

"We took too long. The Buster Call is here," Nami concluded grimly.

"Bit more than a Buster Call, kiddies," Kokoro noted as she yanked the cork of a bottle out with her teeth. "Check it out."

As if on cue, a cascade of golden light burst forth from the crack in the doors, causing the pirates to yelp and shield their eyes.

"What the heck?" Nami yelped.

"Ohhhh SHIT!" Cross roared, his voice dripping with terror.

"What is that, Granny?" Chimney asked in awe.

"Engrave this moment into your minds, kids," Kokoro chuckled melancholically as she poured her drink into her mouth. "Fleet Admiral Sengoku has come down to greet you himself. This here's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Or, well…" She shrugged indifferently. "The last moment of our lives, more like it. Either or."

"We're gonna die, we're gonna die, we're gonna diiiiie…" Usopp whimpered in a half-conscious rerun.

"For once, Usopp? I'm inclined to agree with you," Sanji muttered as he pinched his cigarette in place. "The Saint of Justice Sengoku himself… shit has just escalated."

"WAY MORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE!" Cross bellowed over their connection before anyone could say anything else. "SOUNDBITE, HOW MANY SHIPS ARE WITH HIM?"

"Ah… I'LL BE HONEST…" The baby snail started sweating bullets. "I DON'T HAVE A CLUE. The armada goes beyond MY RANGE AT ABOUT THIRTY SHIPS OR SO."

"FuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK!"

"Just to confirm," Boss said with more hesitation than he'd ever shown in his entire time on the crew. "We don't stand half a chance at fighting that many guys, do we?"

"Conshidawing how theyah all fwom Mawine HQ?" Carue deadpanned before bursting into laughter. "HAHAHAHAHA NO. Not even with Wuffy's schtupidwy high combat wevels."

"Especially not with Luffy's help," Soundbite groaned miserably. "UNLESS I MISS my guess? GARP THE HERO has also COME OUT TO PLAY."

Kokoro froze in place, her bottle cracking slightly in her grip. "…Okay, that's just cheating."

"…Right, it's official," Cross concluded in a strained tone of forced calm. "Matters have just left pear-shaped and escalated to the eldritch topographies of a taco warping through a tesseract."

That managed to snap Nami out of her stupor. "Cross!" she barked. "Snap out of it! You're our tactician, you're the one who handles our plans! Get your head back in the game and tell us what we need to do! That's an order!"

Cross jumped in shock before slowly nodding. "T-The Gate! We need to get to the controls of the Gates of Justice and lock them shut! T-The gatehouse is on our side, if we can shut the Gates and destroy the controls, the armada'll be trapped in the Tub Current, and by the time they get around the Gates, we'll be long gone!"

"That's perfect!" Nami smiled in relief. "Alright, where are the gate controls?"

"Ah… Ah! I got it! They're somewhere in the—"

BOOM!

"The hell—!?" Zoro cursed, looking around in confusion as an explosion rang through the air. "Cannon fire? But the Gates aren't open enough yet!"

"OOOOH NOOOO!" Usopp shrieked fearfully as he pointed out over the water. "LOOK! THE BRIDGE!"

The rest of the invaders followed the sniper's gaze to where, indeed, a good section of the Bridge of Hesitation was crumbling, and where a gun emplacement on one of the battleships flanking said bridge had smoke streaming out of its barrels.

"Looks like the Marines' gun crews decided to stay behind on their ships…" Kokoro nervously observed.

"…Third Pillar," Cross finished weakly. "The controls are on the Third Pillar… and we're now trapped on the Second and First. We… can't close the Gates… can't stop him from coming through…"

"…we just lost," Su summarized quietly.

The cloud fox's defeated voice managed to snap something in Nami's mind, drawing a determined scowl onto her face. "Oh, the hell we did," she hissed as she started fiddling with the straps over her chest. "Soundbite, where are the controls?"

"The hell are you—?"

"Now!" the Navigator snapped.

"GAH! W-WEST SIDE, TOP FLOOR!"

"Got it," Nami nodded. She then unslung her Waver, from her back, unfolded it and mounted the seat, revving its Dial Engine in preparation as she scrutinized the agitated waters. "I'll get over there and flip that switch in a minute flat!"

"EH!?" the rest of the Straw Hats exclaimed in shock.

"Nagagaga, you do realize that this is a suicide mission, right?!" Kokoro scoffed incredulously. "Those whirlpools are ship-killers under normal circumstances, but the fact that the Gates are opening is only disrupting things further!"

Sanji glanced fearfully between the bridge and the Navigator before shaking his head in denial. "N-Nami-swan, you can't go out there!"

The second mate of the Straw Hat Pirates narrowed her eyes. "Watch me."

And before the cook could stop her, she yanked on her Waver's accelerator and blasted off into the froth of Enies Lobby's rear entrance.

Within a second, the sheer difficulty of the task became clear: For all her bravado, the massive whirlpools and the subsequent ripples and waves had her fighting not to keel over from the moment she hit the waters. Nami grit her teeth as she fought to keep her balance. "Ugh… rough waters, typical of Grand Line storms," she muttered to herself. "Conflicting currents, rip tides galore… this would sink any experienced navigator in the best of ships within seconds…"

As if on cue, the sea suddenly surged up and disgorged a wave three times Nami's height.

Nami didn't miss a beat as she ripped up the inside of the surge and burst over the top, sticking the landing without a flinch. She felt her blood start to race, a grin of primal joy crossing her face. "Good thing I'm more than just experienced. I'm the best, damn it!"

And so it was that she continued rocketing towards the third pillar, unfazed by the currents and waves and far too fast for anyone on or beside the bridge to take a shot at her. At least, not if they wanted to hit anything besides ocean. As she approached the structure, the currents started to even out, allowing her to loose one hand from the Waver's handles and grasp at her Clima-Tact.

What happened next occurred in the space of seconds. A few feet from the pillar proper, Nami swung her staff out and let fly a mass of Eisen Clouds that formed themselves into a ramp leading up the stonework. Then, the second the ramp was complete, she gritted her teeth in concentration and pushed the Dial engine to its maximum throttle.

For the second time in her life, the resulting speed and force born from the Jet Dial's full power managed to overpower gravity and propel Nami up the sheer wall of the pillar. Granted, the Jet Dial only had enough force and power to keep Nami glued to the wall for a few seconds before it died down, but those seconds were all the time she needed to reach an opening.

Once she was just below the window, Nami snapped the segments of her Clima-Tact around so that they were doubled up and then tossed them ahead of her. The blast of the Cyclone Tempo launched her out from the wall, but before she could go too far, she caught the batons as they boomeranged back and snapped out the section with the Eisen Dial, an arm of iron clouds shooting out at the pillar.

One swift jerk of her fingers was all it took to reel the arm in and ram Nami through the window Waver-first, granting her access to the gatehouse in a shower of broken glass that drew the attention of the small group of Marines (eight, to be exact) stationed within.

The second the Waver's wheel touched down on the floor, Nami accelerated again and ran down half of them in a semi-controlled charge before swerving to bleed her momentum off and bring herself to a halt.

Then, without missing a beat, she leaped off her mount and pounced on the nearest Marine, lashing out with her fully extended Clima-Tact. A strike to the gut got one doubled over enough for her to ram her knee into his forehead. From there, a spin of her staff forcefully disarmed the two who'd managed to draw their guns, and a firm smack against each of their temples disoriented them enough for her to flip them off their feet.

The last of them, on the other hand, had enough sense to go for his blade and managed to draw it before Nami could stop him. He tried to cleave her head in two with an overhead swing, but Nami caught the attack with her staff and diverted it appropriately before spinning around him so that she was squarely in his blind side. The soldier tried to spin around to keep track of her, but that just gave Nami the angle she needed to ram her elbow into his jaw and knock his brain for a loop. She followed up with a fist to his nose, which laid him out flat.

The navigator took a moment to get her breath back before lashing her heel out with a grunt of exertion and kicking the blatantly obvious lever in the room into the opposite of its current position.

Nami took a moment to let a sense of victory wash over her as the mechanisms in the room spun and a bone-rattling CLUNK shook the air around her.

"DAMN IT!"

Then she had to take a minute to keep from pissing herself when an impossibly loud bellow rattled her world and her very existence.

Nami remained frozen for a while longer in the tense silence before shivering. "So happy that we have a literal mountain of metal between him and us," she muttered to herself. She spared just enough time to frisk the unconscious Marines before blasting out a few bolts of lightning at several important-looking parts of the gate mechanism, before turning towards the direction she knew was south, positioning her staff again—

"Cyclone Tempo!"

And blasting the poor, doomed wall into pieces. Nodding contentedly as sunlight streamed through the hole, she formed another ramp, this one better defined than the last, before re-mounting her Waver, taking careful aim and gunning the engines. With a renewed roar and a burst of hyper-pressured air, the cloud-scooter shot up the ramp and launched her through the air.

Fifteen seconds later, she stuck the landing on the larger remaining portion of the Bridge and skidded to a halt before her stunned crewmates.

Nami propped her fist on her hip as she adopted a smirk. "So," she purred. "How'd I do?"

The memory of Cross and Soundbite's jaws all but cracking the Bridge as they unhinged would be one that would stay with Nami for the rest of her life.

-o-

"I… bu-but… y-y-you… a-and the… with… my… you…"

Obviously, it was taking a not-insignificant amount of effort to restart my brain after that. Curb-stomping Kalifa as I knew that she had—not so much as a scratch!—was one thing, but that?

"Abuh… that… and then… COULD SOMEBODY HIT ME PLEASE!?" I finally yelled out.

THWACK!

"Thank you!" I nodded gratefully to Vivi as I rubbed the spot she'd clocked before refocusing on Nami. "And you! What the shit was that!?"

Nami chuckled and shrugged casually, looking infinitely calmer than I had ever seen her. "Kalifa tried using her powers directly on my brain to wash my mind away, but instead she washed away a lifetime's worth of stress. And I guess it just made me a lot less hesitant about doing things, y'know?"

I goggled at her for a moment more, then blinked. "Uh… does that mean you don't feel like hitting me?"

Nami scrutinized me for a moment, and then shrugged as she looked back at our opponents. "Eh, for now, anyway. But at the moment!" She grinned eagerly as she popped a thumbs-up. "Now that the Gates are closed and the Marines can't get to us, how do we—?" She trailed off as she noticed our hesitant expressions. "…what?"

"Yeeeaaah, see… that's the thing," Soundbite hedged uncomfortably as he gestured with his eyestalk.

Nami slowly turned her head and then winced at what she saw. "…so, some got through, huh?" she said as she observed the titanic silhouettes that were steadily approaching us.

"The vanguard, to be specific," Boss chuffed as he exhaled a menacing cloud. "That Sengoku fella must really want our heads, because those ships slipped through as soon as there was enough space, and another got its prow crunched trying to go through when you closed it."

"Just how many are there?" Franky muttered as he thumbed his sunglasses onto his brow.

"Ten in all, carrying ten thousand, four hundred and twenty soldiers in total," Soundbite provided grimly. "In command are Vice Admirals Strawberry, Yamakaji, Doberman, Onigumo—"

"And Momonga," I muttered out under my breath. "The usual suspects… tch…" I then raised my voice as I addressed everyone present. "I suggest that you all get ready, it looks like we're going to be facing the Buster Call after all."

A shiver of fear ran through everyone as they exchanged nervous glances.

I then deepened my scowl as another thought came to me, and I looked up and past the approaching assault force. "Of course," I growled grimly. "That's only until the rest of the Marines on the other side of the Gates manage to force them open."

That got everyone to stare at me in shock.

"W-What!?" Nami stammered. "Cross, are you insane?! Those Gates are at least a dozen times bigger than the rest of Enies Lobby put together! Even with Sengoku with them—!"

SKRANG!

We all jumped as a sound akin to an off-kilter gong vibrated throughout the air. We all looked around in confusion for the source of the noise before freezing as one as we noticed it.

Specifically, as we noticed the presence of a fist-imprint the size of a mountain in the, to reiterate, flag-emblazoned metal horizon.

"…Right, what was I thinking? This is the Fleet Admiral of the Marines we're talking about," Nami chuckled hysterically.

"I… don't actually believe that that was Sengoku, Nami…" Robin whispered hoarsely.

Silence reigned for several seconds before Nami managed to force something out. "…eh?"

"Unless I miss my guess… that is the handiwork of Garp the Hero, also known as Garp the Fist."

"Ah… so, then—?"

SKRAAAAANG!

This time, not only did we reel from the vibration striking us with a slap of air, but we didn't even need to try looking for the source.

After all, we'd have to be blind to miss the island-sized palm imprint slightly buckling one of the Gates inwards.

"…now, that looks like something Sengoku would do," Robin concluded lamely.

I silently observed the imprints for a second before cracking my neck to the side. "Well!" I snorted. "At least they're going out of their way to keep things interesting."

My crewmates looked incredulously at me before each heaving weary sighs of defeat.

"Ugh. Ooof course, we should have known that it couldn't just be as 'easy' as beating all these reinforcements, or the expected ten battleships," Vivi bit out as she worked her way to her feet, her words contrasting the wry smile she was sporting. "So, great tactician… what's the strategy here?"

I took a few moments to run the situation through my head before nodding. "Well, first—!"

KABOOM!

I jumped when a massive explosion rang out, and a glance to the side revealed a plume of smoke to be rising from the waterfront, right… where the seastone fence was SHIT!

"They're already starting their bombing run, damn it!" I cursed before snapping a look at Soundbite. "Connect me to the guys still at the Tower, now!"

"—DANCING ACROSS THE STARRY SKY COULD NOT BE AS MAGNIFICENT AND ELEGANT AS NAMI—!"

"Less singing her praises, more watching your heads!" I barked urgently.

Sanji blinked in confusion. "Wha—?"

BOOM!

…I know. I know that I've said it a dozen times before, but you really can't understand just how much it bears repeating: the manga and anime could not and did not measure up to reality. Only this time… I didn't feel awe. Or at least, I didn't feel a positive kind of awe. Because really, the sight of half of a thirty-story-tall skyscraper crumpling like a soda can before falling into the abyss… what else could that kind of an image evoke apart from a stab of awe-inducing despair?

Once the remains of the building fell out of sight, all that remained was an all-devouring silence.

"T-The Tower of Justice…" Conis whispered numbly. "It's… It's gone…"

"What the hell is this?" Lassoo breathed, his lazy demeanor replaced with sheer incredulity.

"Endgame," I bit out before addressing Soundbite. "You guys alright?"

"I see a field, a beautiful field filled with golden flowers… Oh, and there's my mother, waving for me to come join her…"

"Usopp's dead on his feet, but other than that, we're fine," Zoro replied. "We're lucky they didn't aim lower."

"Oooh, trust me, they will," I growled venomously as I eyed the ever-advancing fleet of doom. "Look, we're out of time and options, you guys need to get your asses into the tunnel and make your way to the bridge, ASAP!"

"But wait, what about Lucci?!" Sanji demanded. "Luffy's still fighting him, right? How are we—?"

"It'll handle itself!" I interrupted. "Look, you guys trust me, right?"

"Duh."

"No shit, shit-brain."

"Hello mother, how have you—OW! Ah, sorry, what did he—? WHAT!? NOT ON YOUR LI—OW! Ergh, I mean yes, fine, I trust you too! Only once in a blue moon, but still."

"Then trust me now," I said patiently. "Just go down the passage and you'll get here safe and sound. Got it?"

"…I'll lead the way. Stay on my ass, mosshead."

"Cram it and walk, curly."

"I still don't like—! OW! STOP SLAPPING ME, DAMN IT!"

"Nagagaga! This crew just keeps getting more and more interesting!"

"They're really scary, but really fun!"

"Really, really fun!"

"Oi, hagfish!" I hastily added. "I'm trusting my friends with you, got that? Get them back here safe and sound, you hear?"

That brought Kokoro up short. She blinked in stunned confusion for a second before cackling louder than ever. "NAGAGAGAGAGAAAAA! You're a truly terrifying individual, Jeremiah Cross! I'm glad I'm on your side! Don't worry, you'll see them alive… though no promises on quality of life, if you know what I mean."

"Meh," I waved my hand casually. "What the hell do I care if they have a little bit of trauma banging around in their skulls? Give 'em hell, lady!"

"Can do!"

"Wait, 'hell!?' What the hell are you planning, Cro—!?"

"Talk later! RUN NOW! BYE-BYE!" Soundbite crowed before cutting the connection.

"Alright, alright…" I scratched the back of my neck as I wracked my brains. I could lower the interdiction field, tell the people at the courthouse to—no, easy money that they were high-tailing it already, they didn't need my help. And if I tried piping in with Luffy, I'd be more of a distraction than anything, so that only left…

"Alright, everyone, listen up!" I barked as I clapped my hands together and wrung them nervously. "As of this moment, we are entering into a war of attrition. These bastards are going to come down on our heads with everything that they have in an effort to break us, but no matter what, we have to hold out. Kick, scratch, bite, what the hell ever, I don't give a damn. Right now, our only priority is to survive until Luffy beats Rob Lucci—and he will beat Rob Lucci." I shot the last bit at down at the transceiver with extra emphasis before continuing. "Once Luffy wins, we'll be free and clear to get the hell out of dodge and leave this hellhole in the dust!"

"And how the hell are we going to be doing that, Cross?" Franky demanded incredulously. "They've cut us off from the only other ship here, and you already pointed out we can't commandeer a battleship! I don't want to sound like I've given up, but right now, I'd say we're SUPER! screwed!"

Honestly… I knew how Franky felt. How could I not? Battleships bearing down on us, certain death literally knocking at our doorstep. Honestly, it was an impossible situation.

But in spite of all that impossibility… I smiled. A genuine smile, not the least bit strained or mischievous, and that in and of itself seemed to unnerve everyone more than one of my typical smiles would.

And as for why I smiled, well… quite simply, I smiled because I had an image in my head. An immutable image that I had memorized and taken to heart, that I'd been expecting and dreading in equal measure since I'd arrived in this world. I had an image of hope, and so long as I had that image, I would not admit defeat.

I would not do her the disservice of failing her by falling before she arrived.

"We are getting out of here," I stated proudly.

"Cross—!" Nami started.

"We are getting out of here," I re-emphasized, pumping as much power and conviction into the words as I could. "I realize that things look bad, that matters have escalated to the point of no return, I do, but I promise you." I made a point of looking everyone in the eye as I spoke. "Each and every one of you, from the bottom of my heart, I swear to you, we will leave this place. We just need to stand strong, stand firm and stay alive. Once Luffy wins, once the time arrives…" I held up my fist and clenched it firmly. "We are going to leave this place and never come back. And when we do, everyone on the planet will know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we, the Straw Hat Pirates, fought the Marines, fought the World itself, and won. So," I spread my arms invitingly. "I ask you: Who's with me?"

There was a moment of silence as everyone glanced at one another, but I eventually received a reply in the form of a scattered blanket of affirmatives.

Well, that wouldn't do at all, would it?

"I don't think you all heard me. I SAID, WHO THE HELL'S WITH ME!?" I roared as I pumped my fist in the air.

"YEAH!" most everyone else roared vigorously as they mirrored my motion.

"Good." My smile wavered slightly as I looked around. "Because it's crunch time."

And indeed it was. While three of the battleships were splitting away and undoubtedly headed for the train station and four were moving to encircle the island proper, the remaining three battleships were slowly but steadily approaching the Bridge of Hesitation and moving to surround us.

While everyone prepared themselves for battle, I took a moment to glance at what was once Enies Lobby, and I shivered. If the Gates of Justice engulfed one horizon in metal and justice, then the Buster Call was slowly but steadily consuming the other in fire and devastation. It was, to paraphrase Rowling… incredible. Horrific, terrifying and downright sickening, true enough, but there was no other word for the sheer scale than incredible.

Hell, the constant bombardment almost managed to cover up the impacts of Garp and Sengoku's systematic blows on the gates, the rolling rumble of cannon fire shaking me to my—

Wait… shaking!

Oh, fuck.

I hastily ran over to Robin, dropping down to my knees so that I was on her level and grabbing her wrists, dragging her arms away from her temples and forcing her to lock her eyes with mine.

"Robin, Robin!" I barked shaking her slightly to focus her gaze. "Look at me, look at me, Robin! Don't look at that, don't listen to it, ignore it. Look at me, alright? Look at us. This isn't that place, Robin. This isn't that place. This will not be like then. You're not alone, remember? You're with your friends now, and they are not hurting us; every shot they take is only hurting themselves. We're here, Robin. We're all here, every last one of us, and we are not going anywhere, do you hear me?"

For a single terrifying second, I didn't think I'd managed to pull it off. For a second, all I saw was a little girl shivering in terror and with fire reflected in her eyes. But then she was gone, and Robin was back. She was back, and she was smiling and… well, I just couldn't help myself.

"There it is."

That drew Robin up short, prompting her to blink in confusion. "Huh?"

I hesitated for a moment before shrugging casually and donning a slight grin. "A smile worth fighting for."

Robin stared at me with wide eyes before hiccupping up a laugh and lightly knocking her forehead against mine. "Never change, Cross," she whispered. "Never, never change."

I breathed a sigh of relief as I leaned my forehead back. "Not on your life."

We held the position for a bit until I felt the rumblings get closer, at which point I patted her shoulder and drew back. "Now, come on…" I drew Lassoo and held him at ready as I stood up and held my hand out to her. "Let's go and give 'em hell."

Robin nodded proudly as she took my hand and pulled herself to her feet. "Let's."

Sadly, while I talked a big game and while I did feel relatively confident, the fact is that anyone would have felt some doubt looming over them in response to the mass of Marines lining up on the titanic battleships' railings, all ready and raring to charge us.

As we waited, I noticed a certain absence and sent a curious glance Soundbite's way. "Hey… you've been quiet for a while now. Any reason for that?"

Soundbite glanced nervously back at me before darting his eyes away. "Just… looking for something APPROPRIATE TO SAY, YOU KNOW?"

"Ah, right…" I nodded slowly. "Fair enough. You manage to come up with anything?"

Soundbite's eyes swept the oncoming military titans with a heavy gulp. "How about… today is a good day to die?"

I felt a pit open in my gut at the sound of him of all people saying that, but for the life of me I couldn't bring myself to refute it. "Yeah… I guess that that fits…"

"Ah, I'm sorry, Cross?" I blinked in confusion as Conis spoke up and got my attention. "I realize that you're having a conversation, but do you mind if I may say something in response to that?"

"Uh…" I shared a confused glance with Soundbite before shrugging helplessly. "Yeah, I guess? What is it?"

Conis nodded gratefully, before adopting a grim glare and leveling her bazooka at the enemy. "Fuck that," she spat venomously. "It's a good day for someone else to die."

I swear to God that the world itself fell silent at that little display.

And in that silence, I took the time to think.

"…"

"Do you think he's gonna?" Su asked curiously.

I thought about how far we'd come, not just from Water 7 to here but from the East Blue all the way to here, to this very place.

"…pf."

"Yup, he's gonna!" Boss confirmed with a guffaw.

"Honestly, did you expect anything else from him?" Vivi said, shaking her head with a wistful grin.

I thought about what we'd managed to accomplish, I thought about the consequences that resulted from those accomplishments.

"Pffff…"

"Good gwief…" Carue groaned as he slammed a wing to his face.

"Never thought I'd get to experience this firsthand!" Franky laughed as he put his fists up. "Today really is a super day!"

And I thought about the fact that we were about to meet that force head on, with only the strength of our bodies and our backs to support us under the weight of the onslaught.

"PFFFFFFF…!"

"And in five, four, three, two," Nami counted down fondly as she spun her staff and clouds at her side.

In light of these thoughts, in light of this power and danger, in light of absolutely everything that had occurred over the course of the past twenty-four hours and six months alike…

What other option did I have…

"PFFFFFFHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!"

But to throw my head back and roar with gut-rattling laughter.

"PFFHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHA!" I cackled hysterically. "YEAH, CONIS HAS THE RIGHT IDEA! FUCK THAT NOISE! FUCK DYING, FUCK THE BUSTER CALL, FUCK THE MARINES! BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY!?"

I swung Lassoo up and delighted in the terror that suddenly appeared in the eyes of the Marines who I was aiming at.

"Fuck it all," I whispered rapturously.

And with that, I pulled the trigger, and the world went straight to hell.

-o-

"Come on, guys!" 'Black Bart' Bartolomeo roared as he pumped his fist. "I realize that this is scary as all shit, but think about it! At best, this is going to make us even more infamous! And at worst… well, I say that if we're going down, we do our damnedest to sure that this bitch never forgets us in the process! No matter what happens, let's make our names live on! A'RIGHT!?"

"AYE!" bellowed the Barto Club. All were assembled ready to fight, with only Valentine absent due to her… 'current condition'. All stood ready as the massive twin serpents and the ship they tugged drew near, and all tensed as it stopped beside the Cannibal.

"Alright, everyone…" Bartolomeo shot his fist forward with a roar. "CHA—!"

"Love-Love Beam."

A wave of presence swept over the deck of the Cannibal, and the vast majority of the Barto Club Pirates froze as they turned to stone.

"—AR—eh?" Bartolomeo paused in place, blinking in confusion as he tried to process what had just happened. And as he succeeded in doing so, his jaw promptly dropped to the deck. "Oh, fuck me."

"Well, this isn't good…" Miss Goldenweek muttered as she poked at Mr. 5's mineral forehead.

"I'm too young to die!" Apis yelped as she flung her arms around her dragon's neck, a motion that Lindy mimicked fearfully.

"Well, well, well."

The pirates all froze as a cool voice that absolutely demanded their attention spoke up, and slowly they turned their attention to the enemy ship.

The Pirate Empress Boa Hancock tossed her hair in a haughty manner as she strode onto the deck of the Cannibal, flanked on both sides by a pair of titanic snake-Zoans in their hybrid forms. "I will admit, Captain Bartolomeo," she drawled imperiously. "At first, I was… annoyed when the World Government laid the ultimatum before me that I would have to put effort into attempting to eliminate you and your crew. But now I actually find myself to be quite thankful for this turn of events. After all…" She swept a droll look over the surviving crewmates. "It's not every day that someone manages to evade the effects of my Love-Love Fruit."

The Warlord proceeded to cast her head back, waaay back as she looked 'down' upon the pirates. "Tell me the secrets of how you resisted my unparalleled beauty, and I shall make your deaths… painless."

"Otherwise…" Boa Marigold hissed as she slithered across the deck and flanked the pirates. "We'll be the ones to kill you instead."

"Trust us," Boa Sandersonia snickered sadistically as she mirrored her serpentine sister, picking up a stray barrel with her tail as she went. "It will be slow…" She then squeezed her tail and gradually squeezed the barrel to matchsticks. "And it will be nothing short of agony."

After a minute of hesitant silence, Miss Goldenweek shrugged slightly. "I hypnotize people via a specific painting design I discovered combined with different colors. People are forced to feel whatever emotions the colors signify once it's attached. One of my techniques is known as Colors Trap: Tranquil Green." She jabbed her thumb over her shoulder. "And I had it tattooed into my back some time, to help me with my focus. Green is a secondary color and is only surpassed by Terror White, which can surpass all other colors, and the primary colors of Rage Red, Sadness Blue, and Laughter Yellow, and even then, only when they're overwhelming. Lovesick Pink is a tertiary color. With Tranquil Green permanently affecting my emotions, I'm largely immune to such feelings."

"… Wait, you mean to say that you fuckin' hypnotically castrated yourself?" Bartolomeo demanded incredulously.

"What can I say?" Goldenweek shrugged indifferently as she drew a rice cracker from her bag and started into it. "Emotions are a hindrance, and I am nothing if not a professional."

"…right…" Hancock finally stated uncomfortably before shifting her attention to Apis. "And you, child? And your pet as well, seeing as my powers work even upon the non-human."

The Whisper-Girl flinched slightly at the attention before scratching her cheek uncomfortably. "Ah… w-well… honestly, the only thing I can think of is that I'm ten. I, ah…" She shrugged helplessly. "I don't really think about stuff like that yet, you know? And you're too scary for the more, uh…"

"Platonic forms of love?" Miss Goldenweek helpfully supplied.

"Yes? I think?" Apis nodded hesitantly before continuing. "And as for Lindy, well…" She looked up at the dragon in askance, blinking in confusion. "Ah… I don't really get it, but according to him, 'there is no human alive who could possibly comprehend my sexual preference,' whatever that means."

Hancock blinked in surprise and eyed the dragon curiously before shivering as it adopted an indecipherable leer. "Understandable…" she muttered nervously. She then regained her posture as she shifted her glare onto Bartolomeo. "And what of you, 'Black Bart'? What is your excuse?"

The fresh attention towards him served to snap Bartolomeo out of the awkward surprise that his unaffected crewmates had provoked. He took in the sight of his crew, his crew, reduced to the statue section of a garden store, and slowly bowed his head, his fists clenched at his sides. "Your powers… they depend on someone being attracted to you, huh?" the shark-toothed man muttered grimly. "Then… I guess that it's too bad for you; there's only one person in the world that I'll ever admire or view with awe, and it ain't you."

Hancock cocked an eyebrow in vague disinterest. "Oh? Is that so?"

"Yeah… yeah, it is…" Bartolomeo slowly let a lunatic's grin split his face. "Y'know… it sucks balls that I'm gonna die here, it really fuckin' does, but the truth is? I really can't find it in me to give a rat's ass. Why, you ask?" The light around Bartolomeo's arms warped and shifted, snapping into a pair of barriers as he snapped a vicious leer at Hancock. "I wound up in this situation for that person's sake, and if it were all in their name, then I would gladly do it all the fuck over again!"

Before anyone could react, Bartolomeo loosed a howl ripped straight from the very bottom of his soul and charged at Hancock.

"FOR THE NEXT KING OF THE PIRATES!" Bartolomeo roared as he took a flying leap at her, arm cocked back for the mother of all haymakers. "FOR STRAW HAT LUFFY! BARRIER-BAR—!"

In a blur of motion, Hancock's hand snapped out and grabbed Bartolomeo out of the air by his throat as though he were a passing pigeon.

"—GWAGH!" Bartolomeo gagged as he scrabbled at the iron-hard fingers that were throttling him. "Y-You damn bi—!"

"Be quiet."

Any motion on the deck of the ship snapped to an immediate halt as everyone, save for the snake Zoans, stared at Hancock in terror.

And for good reason, too: The Pirate Empress's expression had morphed itself into a mask of authority that was practically gorgonian, her terrible beauty untarnished, but a semblance of some great predator permeating her countenance.

Bartolomeo got it worst of all. For a single second, he swore that he might as well have been a tiny, insignificant rat, clutched in the coils of a world-encompassing serpent, whose fangs were about to devour him whole.

"Explain what you meant," she intoned frigidly. "When you said that you did this for Luffy."

Bartolomeo swallowed heavily around the vice grip on his throat, and just as he opened his mouth to answer her—

"Ahhhh, now that was a good nap!"

All attention on the deck shifted again, this time to where a door in the Cannibal had opened and a thoroughly refreshed-looking Miss Valentine had stepped out onto the deck. "Sorry about earlier, everyone, I just got a bit overwhelmed, is all!" She grinned happily. "Turns out, all I needed to get my head back together was some time to cool down! I'm much… bet… ah…"

The ex-assassin trailed off as her eyes swept over the deck. Her petrified crewmates, the enemy ship with the easily recognizable flag next to the vessel, the Warlord of the Seas holding her captain at her mercy…

She was about to say something…

"Hi, there!"

When the grinning face of one of the massive serpent-Zoans onboard suddenly filled her vision.

"My name's Boa Sandersonia!" the Amazon stated pleasantly. "It looks like there's a good chance our crews are gonna become friends! Do you think you could point me to your storeroom? We left Amazon Lily in a hurry to hunt you guys down, so I'm parched!"

Valentine blinked slowly as she processed the words before an utterly broken smile plastered itself upon her face and she fell backward, her body blissfully fluttering to the ground.

Sandersonia blinked in surprise before shooting a sheepish smile at the rest of the people present. "IIII think I might have broken her. Sorry?"

"Meh, it's not your fault," Goldenweek droned as she bit into a rice cracker. "She's had a rough few hours."

"I can only imagine…" Marigold muttered dryly as she watched her sister poke at the ex-assassin.

-o-

"Oooh my. They're gettin' quite worked up down there, aren't they?"

These words, while drawled in a carefree manner and utterly innocuous, were spoken by a rather unique individual.

Said individual was about fifteen feet in height, lanky in such a manner that he appeared both non-threatening and menacing, and was clad in a bright yellow striped suit.

Said individual was also standing on a relatively out-of-the-way part of the deck of a battleship that was over a mile out from Enies Lobby's Bridge of Hesitation, observing the ongoing conflict with only the most wishy-washy kind of interest.

Said individual's name and title were Admiral Borsalino, codename Yellow Monkey, 'Kizaru'.

"Hooo…" the Admiral whistled appreciatively as a particularly sizeable explosion blossomed on the deck, downing about two or three dozen Marines at once. "They're really givin' it their all, huh? And they're only Paradise pirates? Geeeze, this new generation is proving itself to be filled with nothing but the scariest of Monsters, ain't it?"

"'Monsters'? Pch, what, ya ain't heard yet, Monkey-boy?"

Kizaru glanced over his shoulder and observed as another Marine, this one a Vice Admiral with a massive grin and a lit cigar, strode up to stand by him. "Hey, Yama."

"There's more than just 'Monsters' down there, Monkey," Vice Admiral Yamakaji continued as he watched the fight. "Apparently, that there crew's got its own fair share of 'Demons', too."

"Hooo…" Kizaru shook his head slowly. "Monsters and Demons… what scary, scary people."

"Yeah, some of the scariest." Yamakaji's grin widened slightly as he glanced up at the Admiral. "But you're scarier than all of them, aintcha? Stronger too. You could end it all right now, couldn'tcha?"

"Hmm…" Kizaru hummed noncommittally for a moment as he scratched his five-o-clock shadow before nodding. "Yeah, that's true." He held up his palm towards the battlefield, the very center of his hand starting to glow. "I could wipe 'em all away in the blink of an eye, the Bridge too…" He then shifted his fingers so that he was pointing a finger-pistol, the digit unerringly following Jeremiah Cross's head across the distance as a bulb of light built up on the very tip. "Or I could just kill them all one by one before they even knew what hit them…"

He then proceeded to lift his arm higher… and then used it to scratch behind his head with a sigh. "Buuut I dunno. That all seems like a lot of useless hassle. Why not just hang back and let the boys in white have their fun instead?"

Yamakaji shrugged indifferently as he chewed on his cigar. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Though really, if I was in yer shoes? I'd take the paperwork inta account."

Kizaru blinked curiously as he glanced down at the Vice Admiral. "Paperwork? What of it?"

Yamakaji waved his hand through the air. "Eh, it's just that I've always found after-action reports to take a lot less time than explanations for lack of activity, 's all. 'Spose it don't matter to you what with you havin' light speed an' all, but still, one has Sengoku pissed at you, the other don't, ya know what I mean?"

The Admiral hummed thoughtfully, scratching his stubble as he considered the options. After a few seconds of thought, he sighed, and his entire body started to glow. "I guess I might as well go down there and kill 'em quickly then."

A slightly predatory sheen crept into Yamakaji's grin. "Sounds good ta me."

-o-

"Hey, Soundbite? Remind me why you're not acting like the 'god of noise' you apparently are and blowing out all of these bastards' eardrums!?" Nami demanded as she slammed a wave of Iron Cloud into a group of Marines.

"You actually think that these shitstains ARE THE CREAM OF THE CROP? Fat chance OF THAT!" Soundbite scoffed from a few meters away. "THESE ARE THEIR CHUM. THE SECOND-STRINGERS, MEANWHILE, are waiting in the wings for the order to knock OUR BLOCKS OFF. I'll blow my best ONCE THEY BLOW THEIRS!"

Nami frowned but conceded the point with a nod. Refocusing her attention on the fight at hand, she turned to lash out another wave of cloud and lightning before freezing in place.

The reason for the pirate's sudden paralysis was because, by necessity, Nami had become extremely competent in the practice of spotting even the smallest glint in her surroundings in her eight years of treasure hunting for Arlong. She had come to develop this unique skill for two separate reasons, one obvious and commonplace and one more… exclusive, for lack of a better word.

The obvious reason, of course, was that gold glinted and she couldn't spare half a beri. The exclusive reason, however, was that after the first time she'd gotten a bullet in her leg from someone she couldn't even see, she made damn sure there wouldn't be a second.

So when Nami managed to catch sight of a glint flashing on a far-off battleship, she didn't even hesitate to snap out as vast a mirage as she could manage, hiding the entire side of the bridge facing the ship. "SNIPER, GET DOWN!" she screamed at the top of her lungs before throwing herself to the ground.

After taking a moment to catch her breath, Nami glanced up and towards the battleship with a scowl. "Now we just have to hope that that damn bastard doesn't try again."

-o-

Vice Admiral Yamakaji blinked in bemusement as he confirmed that yes, an instant after Admiral Kizaru had shifted into pure light to transition to the Bridge, a second flash of light had shot out from the Bridge and off to parts unknown.

Acting on a hunch, the Vice-Admiral drew a spyglass through his coat and peered through it, looking for… yes, that shimmer right there was definitely the light-refracting natural phenomenon known as a mirage.

Which only meant one thing.

"Well, shit," Yamakaji sighed wearily as he returned his spyglass to his coat. With great care, he extracted a Baby Transponder Snail and punched in a number. "Wonder where the hell he wound up this time… Fleet Admiral Sengoku? Now, I know that yer rather upset right now—"

"Get to the point, Vice Admiral Yamakaji. In case you haven't noticed?"

SKRRRAAANG!

The Vice Admiral shivered in terror as the next palm imprint appeared in the Gates, even deeper than the previous hits.

"Nothing can make me angrier than I am now."

"Um, well then… I'm afraid that Admiral Kizaru forgot to look before he leaped in his… eagerness to join the fightin'. As such, his attempt to utilize his Sacred Yata Mirror to reach the Bridge of Hesitation just went awry thanks to a, er…" The Vice-Admiral coughed into his fist. "Unfortunate turn of events. In short, we, ah… have no idea where he is, but going by his angle, I'd say… Admiral Kizaru is no longer anywhere near Enies Lobby."

The barest moment of silence followed, and Yamakaji made the prudent decision to hang up his snail.

The silence stretched on for another couple of seconds. "Well, looks like he took that well after all," the Vice Admiral mused to himself.

SKRONG!

The Marine then jumped in shock when another impact sound rang out. Only this time, it was rounder than the others. And higher—?

Yamakaji swallowed heavily, his smile gone and cold sweat trailing down his forehead as he gnawed on his cigar. "I really hope that you're enjoying yourself wherever the hell you are, Kizaru," he muttered. "Because when you get back, you're gonna wish that you'd stayed."

-o-

The Red Line: an insanely massive wall of stone that circumnavigated the world. Impossibly tall, impossibly wide and impossibly impassive. Over the timeless years of its existence, this geological marvel and nightmare has seen countless entities smash into its side and meet their doom, splattered over the unmoving stone.

Most of those entities, though, were such things as Sea Kings, ships, and Island Whales. Today may have been the first time a lone person had tested their bodily integrity against the might of the Red Line.

"Note to self…" a pained voice wafted out of a newly formed and relatively large crater in the face of the continent. "First: Outlaw the presence of any mirrors or other reflective surfaces anywhere that I'm assigned. Second… ooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww…"

-o-

"Yow!" I yelped as a salvo of musket fire crackled through where my head had been a half-second prior. A series of explosions followed, from Lassoo if the recoil shaking my left arm was any indication, and I took a moment to process our situation.

Honestly, it wasn't nearly as bad as my near miss had just indicated. Between Nami's area attacks, Robin littering the battleground with her arms, and Franky bull-rushing every big group that tried to form up with fists and cannon, the Marines attacking us had no cohesion whatsoever. Instead, they were a mob, and not even a particularly huge one, and we could handle that.

Case in point: as I stood up, three Marines were rushing me, two with cutlasses and one with a big iron club. Fortunately, they had strung themselves into a single-file line. I sidestepped the first sword swing, stamped on his foot, and Lassoo took the opportunity to chomp onto his oversized nose. The second one hesitated since his buddy was in the way, but that just gave me time to let Lassoo toss the first Marine away and swing my baton upside his jaw, the impact lifting him an inch off the ground and the shock knocking him out.

That just left the third guy, and before either of us could even move another Marine flew from out of nowhere and knocked him into the water.

"Kill-stealer!" I shouted in Boss' direction.

"Sorry!" the dugong shouted back, his tone and the glare Chopper was sending his way saying otherwise.

Huffing, I turned back towards the line, just in time to see a lightning bolt fry a group of Marines that were held in place by hands sprouting from the ground, and Franky using one unusually large Marine as a club.

"Yeesh," I muttered, shivering.

"The Straw Hats are tearing us apart!" I heard one Marine wail.

"That would imply you were putting up any resistance at all!" Su taunted as Conis pumped another grenade at one of the battleships' crow's nest.

"Would somebody shut that damn puffball up already!?" another soldier shouted.

"OI!" Soundbite barked indignantly. "The only one who gets TO INSULT THE COTTONTAIL IS ME!"

"And she's my puffball in the first place!" Conis picked up.

"WELL, SHUT HER THE HELL UP, HER PISSY VOICE IS GIVING ME A DAMN MIGRAINE!"

"Better idea," Conis snarled venomously. "Su, lower their morale!"

"Can do!" Su saluted before clearing her throat. "Attention, Marine dipshits! To clarify your current situation, the reason you are fighting against a crew that your bosses know you have little to no chance of defeating is that you are what is commonly referred to in the business as fodder! For those of you who find the truth of your lot in life too disturbing to contemplate, I suggest that your next course of action be to curl up and kiss your asses goodbye!"

I promptly came to a halt as I exchanged a look with Soundbite. "Why the hell didn't we think of that?" I questioned incredulously.

"Because we're idiots…" Soundbite lamented with a sigh before casting a glare over his shell. "By the way, ON YOUR SIX."

I promptly jerked my shoulder back, ramming Lassoo's stock into the face of the Marine who'd thought it would be a good idea to try and get the drop on me. "Thanks. And I'm guessing that you're not going to let Su take all the glory lying down?"

"NOT ON YOUR LIFE!" A second after the proclamation, his telltale whine filled the air. "Attention, Marine pisswidgets! Allow me to OFFER SOME MUSICAL ACCOMPANIMENT FOR this shitshow!"

Following his proclamation, an electronic baseline started thumping against everyone's ears. After a few seconds, Soundbite put an actual voice to the music. Suffice to say that the lyrics were…

"When a fight is just plain wrong/We all sing the Curbstomp Song!"

Telling, to say the absolute least of matters.

I snickered as I watched the collective decorum of nearly all the Marines on the bridge plummet. "Anything for you but mindless good taste, eh?"

"I AIM to please!" Soundbite confirmed with a cackle.

I smirked as I got back to the fighting, but my grin shrunk a bit as I glanced around uncertainly. We'd been going at it for a fair amount of time now, but nothing was really changing. At the moment, what I'd give anything for would be some way of telling when in the timeline we were, but I suppose that was asking for a bit much, wasn't—?

BOOM!

A ripple of shock ran across the bridge, along with a literal tremor as a gigantic fist punched out the wall of the First Pillar.

I blinked in surprise as I watched the fist snap back into the tower and the smoke of an impact appear on a nearby battleship. "Well, that works as well as anything…" I muttered. I then grinned viciously as I watched a blur leap from the pillar towards the battleship and start pummeling the vessel into splinters. "Soundbite, for the love of all that's holy, tell me you have a lock on Onigumo."

"YOU BET YOUR ASS I DO," Soundbite leered sadistically. "And I'm gonna let the world in on things, because matters on his ship are GETTING… INTERESTING."

I grinned maliciously. Then, in a spark of inspiration, I reached into the bag at my side, felt around for the dial that controlled the dead zone, and spun it as far counter-clockwise as it would go. And not a moment too soon:

"—is fighting CP9's Rob Lucci on battleship no. 4, identification BB-26! They're—!" The soldier who was speaking winced as Luffy put his inflated fist through what I could only assume was the ship's powder room, going by the size of the explosion. "They're tearing the ship apart!"

"Hmph…" And going by the sneer that Soundbite was sporting, that particularly pleasant-sounding individual was none other than Vice-Admiral Onigumo himself. "If it's Rob Lucci, then chances are he won't die. And strong as Straw Hat might be, he doesn't have Moonwalk." There was a click of a transponder's mic being picked up. "All gunners put vessel number 4 in your sights. Fire in five seconds."

The sheer matter-of-factness in the bastard's voice as he condemned countless soldiers to a pointless demise sent shivers running up my spine, but I got one hell of a thrill out of the fact that the entire bridge froze as the announcement swept over them.

One soldier on Onigumo's ship, however, was rather more animated. "B-But Vice Admiral, sir!" the poor doomed man protested. "Y-You can't be serious! There a-are more than a thousand of our soldiers on that ship, if we—!"

BLAM!

The gunshot and subsequent death gurgle were audible in the near perfect silence.

"Does anyone else," Onigumo growled. "Have a problem with doing whatever it takes to stop one of the world's most dangerous criminals?"

The silence that followed was thoroughly telling.

"That's what I thought. All cannons fire at will."

KRAK-BOOM!

The detonation of battleship no. 4 was titanic. And observed by countless shell-shocked Marines at that.

"D-Did they just…?" a nearby soldier whispered.

"Yeah, they did…" Soundbite nodded solemnly, his eyes tracing a particular speck as it flew through the air and back to the bridge. "And only two survivors at that. THAT WAS…" He shuddered in revulsion. "NOT FUN TO LISTEN TO. At least they never knew WHAT HIT THEM."

I snorted darkly as I tore my eyes away from the pillar and refocused on the Vice Admiral's ship. "And neither will he." I adopted a sadistic grin as the whine that pierced the air indicated that Soundbite had gotten my meaning. "Hey, Vice Admiral Onigumo! Do you mind if I quote you on that little line you used earlier when you executed that Marine in cold blood?" I then made a show of slapping my forehead. "Oh, wait, now I remember! We're live, so it's a bit late to be asking that, huh? My bad!"

"SMILE, MORON! You're on Candid Snail!" Soundbite announced.

"Jeremiah Cross," Onigumo's voice growled.

"That's my name; I live to see the day that it's worn out!" I mock-saluted. "And while I have you, would you care to share your rationalization for, well, you know, sacrificing an entire battleship and the thousand lives still onboard it?" I prayed that the response I got would serve to bury the bastard.

"Tch… 'rationalization'?" And as the spider scoffed incredulously, it was clear that I would not be disappointed. "Why would I have to rationalize anything, you damn pirate? I had a clear shot at ending the life of a criminal, and I took it. There was nothing wrong with my actions, it was simply common sense. So what if I had to sacrifice a few lives in the pursuit of it? Those men forfeited their lives in the name of Justice when they chose to take up our banner, and they'll serve it as the Navy sees fit. One way or another."

I positively relished in the sight of several dozen Marines staring down at their uniforms in naked horror. Wondering how far I could push the buck, I tilted my head to the side as I took on an innocent expression. "Is that so? Well, I suppose that that makes some measure of sense with your soldiers, they knew they were possibly giving up their own lives." I allowed a demonic grin to spread across my face. "But what about the lives of civilians?"

My heart soared as Soundbite's secondhand scowl deepened…

"SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU DAMN SPIDER!"

Before skipping a beat or three when a world-shaking roar erupted from the direction of the thoroughly pummeled Gates of Justice.

I shot a hopeful look at Soundbite once I managed to get my hearing back, but to my disappointment, he shook his head with a grimace. "Damn gag orders…" I cursed under my breath before shaking my head. "Ah, well, it was worth a shot. At least we got something out of that, neh?" I chuckled a bit before turning my attention to the still shell-shocked Marines around me. "And by the way, if anyone here feels like making a run for it, I'm sure that we can come to a—"

"Dot dot dot dot!" Soundbite suddenly sounded out. "Helluva sense OF—dot dot dot dot!—TIMING!"

"But it could be constructive," I shrugged as I pressed the appropriate button. "You're on the SBS, what's—?"

"HURK!" Soundbite's head suddenly rocked forwards as he gagged on something.

"Soundbite! Crap, what's—!?" My concern morphed into terror when my snail started coughing up smoke. "Oh, shit… oh shit shit shit!" I hastily scrabbled for the button to hang up the call—!

And jerked back as the action produced a cloud of smoke and a faint sense of burning from the few nerve endings I had left in my hands.

"Let me be perfectly clear," Soundbite rumbled murderously. "Any soldier who dares to take so much as a step back will be met with a firing squad upon their return to Marineford. And if you think for even a second that I will not find out the names of each and every last traitor to Justice?"

The heat somehow coming off of Soundbite tripled, to the point I could feel it radiating off of him. For the briefest of instants, so brief I'm still not sure I actually saw it, I got the impression of a volcano spewing lava and ash over the poor, defenseless countryside.

"THINK AGAIN."

And then the connection cut off and I was left shivering on the Bridge with a wheezing, still-warm snail on my shoulder.

It took me a second to get my bearings back, but once I did? I didn't even need to turn around to know that every Marine on the bridge was shakily raising their weapons as they prepared to start fighting again.

"For the record…" I huffed regretfully. "I do understand why you're doing this, and I do forgive you for it."

Before any of the Marines could react, I snapped Lassoo up and squeezed off a trio of Cani-Cannonballs at them, the resulting blasts giving me a nice sizeable chunk of breathing room. I took the opportunity to drop Lassoo off my shoulder and jerk my head at the mob. "Buy me some space for a bit, would you, boy?"

The dachshund-cannon drew his hackles back in a savage grin. "With pleasure." And with that, he started belting out a barrage of firepower upon the Marines, keeping them well away from me.

Taking advantage of the small area of relative peace he was affording me, I hummed thoughtfully as I scratched my head and got my thoughts in order. "Alright, ship's blasted, Luffy's back on the pillar, which means…" I muttered too quietly for the SBS to hear before snapping my fingers in realization. "The passage is flooded, good. So the guys should be getting here soon." I frowned in realization as I glanced down at the water churning far below the Bridge. "Save that Kokoro got out on the boat and in calm waters. Right now, we're high up, and the maelstroms are at full force." I gnawed on my thumb as I glanced to the side. "I know that mermaids are good in the water, but can she really—?"

SPLASH!

I blinked in confusion as the sound of water splashing reached me. "Eh? The hell?" I looked downwards in confusion. "What the heck was—?"

A blur of motion and then—

"NAGAGAGAGA! MISS ME, BRAT?"

MY EYES!

"OH, THE HUGE MANATEE!" Soundbite caterwauled as he snapped back into his shell.

"IT BUUURNS!" I howled, falling back on my ass and clawing at my face in agony as I rolled back and forth on the bridge. "SOMEBODY GET ME SOME ACID, I NEED TO REMOVE MY EYES! NOTHING CAN HURT MORE THAN THIS!"

"Wha—? Aw, c'mon kid, you're exaggerating! I know I've let myself go, but—!"

"Cross!" I dimly heard Conis call out and start to run over. "Are you al—AUGH!" She suddenly cut herself off with a terrorized scream. "THE HORROR! THE HORROR! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!"

"IT BURNS WITH THE INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND SUNS! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MERMAIDS BEING BEAUTIFUL!?" Su wailed fearfully.

"YOU TRY PUSHING SIXTY AND HOLDING ONTO A SUPERMODEL BODY, WHY DON'T YOU!?" Kokoro snapped in an annoyed tone before shaking her head with an annoyed huff. "But fine, fine, I get the point, I'm putting my damn shirt back on! Tsk, damn kids, way to make a woman feel insecure! Be a bit more appreciative, why don'tcha! I saved your friends' lives, you know!"

"We'd rather have drowned…" a trio of pained voices gurgled.

"But it's not too late for the rest of us," moaned… well, pretty much every Marine in earshot, many of which were looking longingly at the edges of the bridge.

"How could the very incarnation of a man's romance have such a cruel reality?" one particular soldier lamented.

"OI, DON'T YOU DARE BESMIRCH MAN'S ROMANCES WITH YOUR LUST-ADDLED PERVERSIONS!" Boss snapped indignantly… though a second later he hissed uncomfortably. "Ah… though in this case, you bastards may have a point, yes."

At that moment, I heard something that I hadn't expected ever to hear:

"THAT DOES IT! MERMAID KICK!"

Kokoro shouting angrily. Apparently, there was only so much that she could take.

After a few deep breaths, I felt confident enough to open my eyes again, and I let out a sigh of relief when I saw the now-clothed Kokoro… though I then proceeded to gain a sweatdrop as I watched her punt around a dozen or two Marines with her yet-uncovered fin-feet. "OK… not something you see every day. Anyways, where was—?"

"CROSS!"

I abruptly found myself cowed beneath the wrath—and hovering sole—of an insanely furious chef.

"Why. Didn't. You. Warn us?!" he snarled.

I stuttered for a moment as I tried to think of a response that wouldn't get me pasted into hamburger meat, and then I remembered something and gathered myself enough to reply evenly. "Instead of answering that question, may I suggest that you turn your anger towards the Marines? Who, might I add, actually put a sizable scar on Vivi?"

As expected, that succeeded in redirecting his anger. He froze briefly, glanced at Vivi, who was remaining beside Carue and fending off anyone who attempted to come near, while simultaneously grimacing every time she strained her abdomen, before slooowly turning his gaze to the nearby Marines.

I was then forced to scramble back a few feet when he suddenly burst into flames. "They did WHAT?" an infernal voice rumbled.

I chuckled venomously as I waved goodbye at the pants-wettingly terrified soldiers nearby, before flinching back in terror myself when a flaming finger jabbed itself in my face.

"This isn't over, crap-mouth," Sanji warned me, his hellfire burning radiant in his eye as he shot off and started tenderizing the opposition.

I swallowed heavily as I watched him go at it, wiping away a goodly amount of cold sweat that had broken out on my brow. "Sweet shit, that was close, I seriously thought that I was going to die…"

"You still might."

I froze up as a particularly bloodthirsty blade laid itself across my shoulder, and the sound of an elastic stretching sounded out right behind my skull.

"Now, guys—!" I started hastily.

"Save it, Cross," Zoro scoffed as he withdrew Kitetsu III. "We're smart enough to know that we've got more important things to worry about."

"This is just a friendly warning is all." The sound of rubber reversed. "Once we're out of here, though? Watch your back."

Since when the hell could Usopp manage to sound that badass and terrifying!?

"For now, though…"

A pair of projectiles flew past me and slammed into a few more unlucky Marines.

"We'll focus our attention elsewhere."

I held my breath as the pair walked past me and joined the fray, eventually releasing it in a massive gasp as I collapsed on my back. "I'm a dead man once we get out of here, aren't I?" I whimpered fearfully.

"ONLY IF YOU get out of here alive," Soundbite pointed out. "By the by, 3-o-clock."

I didn't even miss a beat in flexing my palm and shoving my right arm at the same time. "Impact." The resulting blast did the dual trick of propelling me to my feet and destroying the Marine's footing, giving me just enough time to jam my baton into his gut and take him down for the count.

"Wooow…" Chimney breathed in awe as she poked the stunned soldier's cheek before shooting me a sunny smile. "You look and act like you're all weak and stuff, but you're actually pretty scary, huh, mister?"

"Nagagaga!" Kokoro chuckled heartily. "That's a pirate's life for you, Chimney!"

"That's a pirate's life FOR HIM!" Soundbite concurred.

"'Tis a pirate's life for me!" I concluded with my arms spread wide. "Now, if you'll excuse me!" And with that, I turned around and charged back into the fray, scooping up Lassoo back onto my shoulder in the process.

If the Marines had been disorganized before, now they were in utter disarray. It was a credit to them that they hadn't collapsed into an outright rout. Usopp was even more effective at close range, hitting pinpoint targets with a speed he hadn't been able to show off from the tower. Zoro was… well, Zoro. Opposition in front of him just melted. And Sanji?

"Apéritif!"

A blast of razor-sharp, flaming air sliced through a half dozen Marines… and then through a deck-mounted mortar on one of the battleships… and then into the mast behind it, lighting it on fire and drawing out a swarm of panicked men with buckets.

Well, I suspect he was working out some… admittedly not entirely misplaced frustrations.

The point is, there simply weren't any leakers, so I had to do something I'd been trying to avoid up until then: I had to dive into the thick of the fighting. And luckily, a Marine turned around just in time to catch a boot to his face courtesy of a jump I definitely wouldn't have managed to make before joining the Straw Hats.

The mook went down like a sack of potatoes, KO with a bootprint in place of his face, while his two comrades turned to me with brandished swords.

I responded with a brandished dachshund. "Cani-Cannon!"

A hip-fired baseball took care of them. A whisper from Soundbite, and I sidestepped a desperate lunge from another Marine, my baton meeting the back of his skull as he pitched forward. That done, I turned around to look for anyone else trying to get a piece of me or for me to get a piece of.

Instead, I blinked in surprise when a Marine… no, all the Marines ran by me. The Marines were… apparently in retreat. An organized retreat, not a full-out run-like-hell falling back, but they were retreating.

"Uh… what the hell?" Nami wondered aloud. "That death threat was pretty clear, why are they all running away?"

"Maybe because they finally got a clue and realized that they can't win against us anyway?" Franky laughed confidently as he slammed his knuckles together.

"Considering the size of the gun at their collective heads, I sincerely doubt that," Robin countered.

I briefly considered the matter. Then all too soon the beri dropped, and I ground the heel of my palm into my forehead. "Robin's right, guys…" I groaned wearily. "This isn't the end of the fight."

"Attention all hands!" an amplified voice blared out over the battlefield, originating from the battleships. "As of this moment, all Junior Officers and enlisted hands are to return to their posts! As of this moment, all further combat operations—"

I slowly looked up and cast an evil eye at the lines of Marines who had taken their positions upon the battleships' railings and were glaring down at us. "It's only the end of the first wave."

"Will be carried out by officers of Lieutenant and Captain rank!" the voice of God continued. "With the strength of our 300 elite, we will crush these criminals without delay!"

I choked slightly at the number. "I expected that there'd be some more than usual, but that's just unfortunate."

"We shall fight them in the shade, HUH?" Soundbite chuckled dryly

"That didn't work out well for either side," I hissed back.

"Captains…" Conis breathed in soft horror.

"Damn, I was wondering when they'd call these guys out," Vivi grit out as she cast her gaze around.

"Uh… I'm really hoping that I'm wrong, but wasn't Smoker a Captain?" Usopp whimpered fearfully.

"Don't worry, Smoker's not representative of the Captain rank," I cut in. "Between his Logia fruit and sea prism stone jutte, he was probably under-ranked when we met him. There's a reason everyone bought him beating Crocodile. But on a related note, I haven't ever heard of Marine with a Devil Fruit who's been below Captain Rank, so these guys are either using abilities or capable of holding their own against people who do, so no matter what, watch your backs."

"Psh," Zoro shrugged as he rolled his shoulders. "What are you all getting so worked up about? All this proves is that they're too scared of us to try anything else."

"Your mouth is talking shit, mosshead," Sanji chuckled grimly as he blew out a smoke cloud. "But that ratty bandanna you're putting on is saying something entirely different."

Zoro snorted dismissively as he glanced back at the cook. "And what, you're just chewing on the filter for the hell of it?"

"Hey, listen, you—!"

"As well, I have a status report from ships no. 3, 8, and 9 at the island's main gate. The traitors Oimo and Kashi, as well as the Straw Hat Pirates' allies, have been eliminated."

My crewmates tensed around us, but a hasty cough of 'Bullshit!' into my fist served to calm them down.

"The battleships will return to the Bridge to aid in the final elimination of the Straw Hat Pirates! For now, all Marines present, assault the Straw Hat Pirates! Forward!"

"You… you dare claim that you defeated my boys that easily?!" Boss snarled as the Marines leaped onto the bridge and started charging at us, his Thermal Dart spinning so fast it blurred into a red-hot circle. "I'LL MELT YOU ALL INTO TAR FOR SUCH AN EGREGIOUS INSULT!"

I gritted my teeth slightly as I watched the officers approach before casting a glance at Soundbite. "You about ready to blow your best now?" I growled as I took a knee for the second time that day.

Soundbite grinned viciously as he furrowed his eyestalks. "All the better to BLOW THEM AWAY. NOW THEN, IF YOU DON'T MIND…" The ambient sound on the bridge suddenly died off. "A LITTLE QUIET, IF YOU PLEASE." He then closed his eyes. "In the land of silence…"

I blasted out a Cani-Cannonball at the approaching Marines. The projectile detonated about a meter in front of the crowd—

"Gastro-Cani Combo: BASS CANNON!"

And a nice little swathe of the opposition and a goodly chunk of the bridge were both sent flying from whence they came.

I chuckled venomously as I stood back up. "I'd say that that's about twenty, twenty-five down."

"And an assload left TO DEAL WITH…" Soundbite groaned as his eyes spun in his skull. "AND FOR THE RECORD, SEEING AS I THINK I BLACKED OUT FOR a second there, I'm not pulling that party trick again ANYTIME SOON."

"That's fine by me!" Boss scoffed as he cracked his neck in anticipation. "Just means that there's more for us!"

"Speak for yourself…" Usopp groaned.

"Like it or not, it doesn't matter worth shit." I squared my shoulders and snapped my baton out, jamming its button as hard as I could. "Here they come!"

And then, just like that, the Marines' fighting brass was upon us.

I don't remember much of the next… ten minutes? I think? I dunno, the point is, I was too busy trying not to die to keep track of things. It was all a blur, occasionally interspersed with sharp objects trying to lodge itself in my vital organs, fists trying to punch holes in me, and myself retaliating by breaking… basically everything within grabbing range.

Alubarna had nothing on the sheer and utter moshpit that the Bridge of Hesitation had become, because in the end? While Alubarna was damn bad, at least there I was something to be ignored in favor of more important things, namely killing each other. Here? Taking me and my friends' heads off was that 'more important thing.'

And as if the definite spike in quality and the relative spike in quantity of enemies weren't bad enough—!

"Cross, duck!"

"Woahshit!" I cursed, snapping my head below one of Vivi's Lion Cutters as she slashed a Marine I hadn't caught sight of out of midair.

"Than—ON YOUR LEFT!" I cut my thanks off in favor of showing my gratitude by sending a base-cannon-ball down the throat of the Captain who'd been aiming to put a bullet in her skull.

Vivi gave me a grateful thumbs-up, but that was all she was able to do before she had to catch a blade with her chains before it could gouge a new hole in her skull.

—and sweet shit, was it beyond bad enough, but on top of it all, we also had to deal with an absolute sideshow's worth of Devil Fruit users.

I swear, throughout that fight, I saw the human body do countless things that I neither thought it could nor wanted to know that it could do. The abilities that were displayed in the fight ran the gamut, from stretching (liberally à la Mister Fantastic, as opposed to Luffy's rubber-style abilities) to secreting copious amounts of acid to throwing cannon-ball sized chunks of rock as fast as baseballs (and that was a power and not pure muscle like Garp, because the guy pulling it was a fricking beanpole) to—

"STRONG RIGHT!"

"GAH!"

—to transforming into… berries apparently, hel-lo there.

"Well, this bastard's sure a weird one!" Franky chuckled sadistically as he held a visibly freaked out head in his hand.

"Oh, wait, I've heard about him!" I snickered tauntingly. "You're supposed to be a very good example of the Marines, right?"

The head stopped freaking out in favor of shooting me a look drier than Alabasta. "Spare me, Jeremiah Cross. I have heard every joke in the book, not even you could say one I haven't endured before."

My grin slowly widened by several teeth. "Yeah? Well, I doubt you've ever had this happen to you before. Franky, if you'd be so kind as to wind up the pitch?"

The cyborg promptly cackled as he caught on to my intentions. "Oh, it would be my damn honor!"

"Huh? What the hell are you—?" Very Good paled before struggling furiously when he saw me draw my foot back. "Nonononono—!"

"Franky the Cyborg pitches to the Straw Hat Pirate's pinch-kicker!" Franky roared as he bowled Very Good at me.

I waited until he was right where I wanted him and then—!

"PUNT!" I roared, swinging my foot forward—

THWACK!

"GAGH!"

—and right into the Berry-man's chin, sending his head flying up and away.

"HEEEEE'S OUTTA HERE!" Soundbite crowed ecstatically.

"Yes!" I pumped my fist with a victorious whoop. "It's a Grand Slam! The Straw Hats do it again! The crowd goes wild—!"

"CROSS, ON YOUR LEFT!"

"HOGEEZE!" I cursed, only just managing to catch a crab claw with my baton before it could snip my face off. "Make that they go wild-er. And as for you—eh?" I paused and blinked in confusion as I looked the guy over in confusion, specifically focusing on his forehead. "The hell? A crab claw and—? What are you, some kind of a goat-man with one of the Crab-Crab fruits or a crab-man with one of the Goat-Goat fruits!?"

"Why don't you go to hell and find out!" the Marine snarled as he raised his other claw-shaped arm.

I promptly sobered up and hit the Marine with a dry look. "Why don't you go first?" I then activated the baton's lightning function, allowing me to deep-fry the bastard and slam my forehead into his, dropping him for the count.

I chuckled to myself as I straightened back up and started spinning my baton in my fingers. "Guess he forgot about the Taser! Sucks to be him!"

"Guess you forgot about the current situation you're in."

I blinked in confusion. "Wha—?"

Then there was a familiar swish of air, and I found myself holding onto only half a baton, which was itself starting to crackle ominously.

The Marine who'd cut my baton in half smirked as he leveled his sword at my face. "Sucks to be you, huh?"

I stared numbly at the bisected rod of metal before slowly looking up at the Marine. "That… was a gift," I stated slowly.

"It is truly incredible how little I give a damn," the Captain drawled. "Now, put your hands above your head and—!"

"I don't," I interrupted him with a dry chuckle. "Think you quite understand what I'm saying to you. Allow me to re-emphasize."

I promptly whipped my other hand up and blasted my Flash Dial in his face, with Soundbite amping it into a straight up Gastro-Flash.

"GAH!" the Marine howled, clawing at his eyes and ears.

"That was," I snarled, stepping up and grabbing the Marine's collar. "A gift!" I then stuffed the baton's remains, which were starting to reek of ozone, down the man's shirt. "YOU BASTARD!" I capped it all off with a roar as I kicked the selfsame bastard in the gut and knocked him into his comrades.

It was thoroughly cathartic to see him fry everyone who he came in contact with as a result of the undoubtedly fractured Thunder Dial he was carrying discharging for a final time.

Unfortunately, I couldn't take the time to linger on the sight because for all that it felt nice to get some vengeance for my fucking baton!, the events also meant that I was without a melee weapon. An advantage the Marines were eager to capitalize on when some jackass with a blade too long for me to catch with my gauntlets or Lassoo started taking wild swings at me.

I only just managed to throw myself to the side and dodge the slash-happy bastard, and he would have chopped my head in two if I didn't grab up the nearest of many stray swords and happen to lock blades with him.

"Shitshitshit!" I bit out as I locked hilts with the bastard and held him off.

As if matters weren't bad enough, I just so happened to catch a telltale flash of green out of the corner of my eye, spiking my blood pressure a few more degrees out of sheer terror. "Sorry about this—GRAGH!" I grunted forcefully as I shoved back against the bastard and took a swipe of my own. "Mockery of swordsmanship I'm pulling, Zoro, but currently my options are kind of limited!" The last line was bit out as I swung Lassoo's bulk down like a club.

Zoro responded with a dry scoff. "Trust me, Cross."

SLASH! "GAH!"

I felt a surge of relief as our crew's swordsman did me the courtesy of finishing my opponent off before my blood froze as I caught sight of what he'd finished him off with.

"I have no room to complain at the moment," Zoro muttered acridly as he hefted the forcibly appropriated standard-issue Marine cutlass he was wielding.

I glanced down at the black sheath hanging at his side in concern. "Yubashiri, is it—?"

Zoro followed my gaze to the hilt before shaking his head. "Bloodied, badly, but ultimately unbowed," he growled around Wado. "The bastard snuck a touch in before I noticed and took a good chunk of the blade with him in the process." He grit his teeth as no small amount of what was presumably rage drew a shudder from him. "It's whole, but I won't know how bad it really is until I've had a blacksmith look at it."

I nodded in relief at the news, before tensing uncomfortably as a thought occurred to me and I glanced around. "Everyone! Status updates, now! How are you holding up?"

"Could be better!" Nami reported from the shroud of iron cloud she'd erected, Usopp and Conis periodically poking out their weapons out to take potshots at clusters of Marines. "I'm doing fine, but Usopp and Conis are running out of ammo!"

"I'm not doing so hot, either!" Franky reported, punching a Marine right in the face, and right as he pulled it back, his hair deflated, flopping in front of his face. "Dammit! I never should've given you that cola earlier! Weapons Left!"

The loud clicking sound that sounded out did not inspire any confidence.

"Ah, hell."

"I'm starting to run out of my Cherry Blossom explosives!" Chopper provided next. "I-I can probably make more, but—!" He suddenly stumbled out of the blue and only managed to keep his head on account of a quick swap from Heavy to Brain points. "But, ah… uh, I know this is a bad time, but I might have overestimated the duration of my stimulant."

"No—ergh!—kidding!" Vivi groaned, visibly fighting to stay standing. Sanji was there to pick up her slack in seconds, but the fact that he was fighting with a black leg rather than a blazing one wasn't encouraging in the least.

"I know I might consistently put on airs of strength," Robin huffed as she kept her eyes clenched shut and arms crossed, systematically snapping limbs and joints across the bridge. "But the human skeleton is astoundingly resilient." She flinched as blood started to trickle down from her palms. "Even I have my limits…"

"You all are total wusses!" Boss laughed uproariously as he bodily flung a Marine into his comrades. "I mean, come on! Where's your fighting spirit, eh? After all, to face impossible odds, standing defiantly to the end and eventually emerging victorious…" He drew his fists back as he adopted an intense stance. "Is that not one of the purest and most sublime definitions… OF A MAN'S ROMANCE!? SIX OCEANS PISTOL!"

The dugong pounded his fists forwards, blasting a nice, sizeable opening in the enemy's lines before keeling forward and panting heavily as he rested his fists on the bridge. "On, ah… on second thought…" Boss huffed wearily. "I might, hoo… be starting to see, ha… where you're all coming from, geeze…"

"Even Boss admits it? We must be in trouble," Lassoo huffed heavily. "Ah… and by the way? I know that this might be a bad time, but I'm starting to reach the 'fumes' stage myself. We getting out of here any time soon or what?!"

I glanced nervously up at the gun before gritting my teeth and brandishing my weapons prominently. "We just need to hold out until Luffy manages to beat Lucci! Once that fight finishes—!"

"Cross…"

Even in the midst of the madness, Soundbite's tone brought me up short, and one glance at his dumbstruck expression was all I needed for my guts to fill with ice.

Soundbite slowly turned his eyes to me, his gaze full of numb disbelief. "…I think it just did," he breathed in horror.

It took a moment for the implications to sink in for me, but once they did, I ran like a bat straight out of hell, charging down the length of the Bridge towards the flame-engulfed horizon. I took more than a few hits in the process, a graze from a gunshot here, a nick from a sword there, but it didn't matter to me. Nothing mattered to me other than getting to where the Marines had blasted the bridge to the First Pillar early on, to getting within sight of the secondary battlefield, to catching sight of my—!

I skidded to a halt a foot from the shattered cut-off of the Bridge, my momentum sending a cascade of pebbles and stray debris careening over the edge and into the froth below. But I didn't pay it any mind, in favor of witnessing the horrifying sight before me.

"…Captain…" I breathed weakly.

It was… almost like a scene straight out of hell. Luffy, just lying there in a pool of his own blood and only barely twitching, Lucci standing above him and huffing heavily as he caught his breath.

My mind briefly stalled as I observed the scene, but I quickly managed to kickstart my brain back into work. And once I did… once I did, I didn't consider the enemies behind me who my crewmates were cutting down. I didn't contemplate how this was different from canon. I didn't think about how Usopp should have been the one standing here and not me, and I didn't think about how he was supposed to make a triumphant return and give Luffy the strength to go on either.

I didn't think about any of that. Rather, the only thing that I thought…

"LUUUFFYYY!" I screamed desperately, my voice cutting through the cacophony and echoing through the void.

…was that my captain was down, and that more than anything in the world, he needed to get back up right the hell now!

Far below, Luffy shifted slightly in his prone position, moving his head just enough to glance up at me. "Cross…" Luffy's voice wheezed in my ear.

I choked at the sheer amount of weakness I heard in his voice, a weakness I had never thought I'd hear from him of all people, but I sucked it up and pressed on.

"Luffy…" I gasped before raising my voice again. "DAMN IT, LUFFY, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING JUST LYING THERE!? YOU NEED TO GET UP, DAMN IT!"

I wouldn't know until Soundbite told me much later that many combatants had directed their attention towards me at that moment, and my crew began fighting them with vigor drawn from who-knows-where to keep them away from me as I kept talking.

"I KNOW…" I choked on the words as tears streamed down my face. "I KNOW THAT YOU MUST BE HURTING LIKE HELL, LUFFY! IT'S SO OBVIOUS, AND I KNOW THAT YOU'VE FOUGHT AS HARD AS YOU CAN." I bowed my head and shook it miserably. "BUT… BUT DAMN IT, LUFFY, THIS ISN'T THE END!"

I flung my arms out wide. "LOOK AROUND YOU, LUFFY! LOOK AT WHERE WE ARE! WE'RE STILL IN PARADISE, LUFFY! WE HAVEN'T EVEN HIT THE HALFWAY MARK, WE'RE BARELY EVEN A QUARTER OF THE WAY THERE! THIS PLACE… THIS HELL OF WRATH AND TEARS, IT'S NOT WHERE IT ENDS! IT'S NOT WHERE WE END!

"WE STILL NEED TO ENJOY SO MANY ADVENTURES, WE STILL NEED TO GO SO FAR, AND YOU…" I craned my head back and choked back a sob. "YOU NEED TO LEAD US THERE! BECAUSE WITHOUT YOU… WITHOUT YOU, NONE OF THIS MEANS ANYTHING!"

I snapped my head back down and glared bloody murder at Rob Lucci. "AND AS FOR HIM, THAT LEOPARD-BASTARD…" I snarled murderously. "SO HE'S MANAGED TO TAKE YOUR BEST ATTACKS SO FAR AND KEEP GOING, SO THE HELL WHAT!? AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE STRONGER THAN HIM! YOU'RE STRONG ENOUGH TO TAKE THIS KIND OF DAMAGE AND KEEP GOING! YOU'RE STRONG ENOUGH TO FIGHT ON, NO MATTER WHAT GETS IN YOUR WAY! YOU'RE STRONG ENOUGH TO BEAT HIM, DAMN IT!"

There was a single second of silence that seemed to stretch for a lifetime. Then it was broken by the last sound I expected at that moment.

"Dot dot dot dot!"

In hindsight, I really should have seen it coming, but either way, it didn't make it any less the most downright awesome thing I had experienced up to that point. Admittedly, it was a bit of a reckless move, but I didn't even hesitate to snap my hand down and ram the appropriate button to patch them through.

"Straw Hat!" hollered a voice that I didn't recognize. "You might not know me, but I've placed all my hopes on you! An all or nothing bet a mile wide and with odds straight from hell, but I placed it knowing that you would succeed! You've come this far, don't fall at the eleventh hour!"

Not even a moment after the caller hung up, Soundbite started to ring again, and I answered again.

"Come on, Straw Hat! You've fought this far, and you're calling it quits now!? That's total BS! Kick that cat's ass!"

"Give 'em nothin' short of hell, Luffy! Pirate pride, ever and always!"

In between calls, Soundbite shot an ecstatic grin at me. "You're gonna have to hold that button down, CAUSE OTHERWISE YOU'LL BREAK YOUR FINGER!"

"You got it!" I nodded eagerly as I rammed the button down and threw the floodgates wide.

-o-

"Come the hell on, Straw Hat!" Bonney roared as she pounded on the table. "You need to walk out of there in one piece! We still need to see which of us is the bigger glutton! I need my pride as a woman and an eater, damn it!"

"I'm with her, Straw Hat Luffy," Law nodded firmly, the way he was drumming his fingers on his sword's sheath betraying his emotionless demeanor. "You've been interesting thus far, and the insanity you've pulled could be useful in the future. Get the hell out of there and get out alive."

-o-

"Are you fucking kidding me!? You come this fucking far, and then you topple here!?" Kid demanded acridly as he strained against the chain-like bandages that were all but holding his body together.

"Damn it, captain, will you stay still already!?" Killer protested as he tried to hold his superior in place. "That cyborg bastard nearly ripped you in half!"

"To hell with you and to hell with me, I'm more concerned with the rubbery moron who's giving us all a shit-name!" Kid spat before continuing to curse at the snail in the room. "Yeah, that's right, I've got a bone to pick with you, rubber-brain! You've been the gold fucking standard for every pirate of this generation since you beat Crocodile, and now you come this close to losing to a fucking cat?! If you die and make us look bad, I'LL CLIMB DOWN THERE AND TURN YOU INSIDE OUT WITH MY OWN TWO—GRK!"

"DAMN IT, KID!"

-o-

"My predictions have never failed me yet, Straw Hat, and they state quite clearly that you will not die today," Basil Hawkins enunciated coldly as he systematically shuffled around the full deck of cards he had splayed out before him. "I will not be pleased if you are responsible for tarnishing my reputation. Get up. Fight. Win."

The dinosaur Zoan that the mage had formed a brief alliance with stood impassively to the side as he plied his arcane trade. Drake said nothing, but the fire in his eyes, the twitching of his fingers and the grimace on his face as he stared at the snail said all that needed to be said.

-o-

"Are you certain that this is the right way, brother? Should not more energy be invested in these actions?"

"Let others roar and cajole freely, brother. For now, we shall take another path." Urouge kept his palms pressed together as he bowed his head. "And offer our support in solemn silence. A mad monk I might be and fallen monks we may be called, but I have not forgotten my teachings. While the rest of the world offers support in an earthly manner, we shall seek it from the heavens."

"As you say, brother."

-o-

"ONE AND TWO, ONE AND TWO, APAPAPA!" Apoo roared as he pounded his fists on his chest.

"ONE AND TWO, ONE AND TWO!" the rest of the On-Air pirates shouted back as they beat their instruments in synch with their captain.

"LOUDER, DAMN IT!" Apoo howled at the sky. "LET THEM HEAR US! MAKE THEM HEAR US ALL THE WAY IN MARIEJOIS!"

[DO IT, STRAW HAT!] Captain Dugong shouted, slamming his fists together. [I'M SPEAKING TO YOU CAPTAIN-TO-CAPTAIN, FIGHTER-TO-FIGHTER, MAN-TO-MAN! IF YOU CAN BEAT ME, YOU CAN BEAT DAMN NEAR ANYONE! DON'T YOU DARE DISGRACE ME NOW! FIIIIGHT!]

[FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!] the rest of the Great Kung-Fu Fleet chorused.

-o-

"You provided me with an inestimable opportunity, Captain Straw Hat Luffy," Capone 'Gang' Bege drawled as he looked over a golden ingot he was holding, taken from one of the countless stacks of similar ingots that surrounded him. "And now, I owe you a debt of gratitude that I will require many years to repay."

The gangster pirate exhaled a heavy cloud of smoke as he replaced the ingot he was holding and cast an eye to the snail in the room. "I do not forget my debts, Straw Hat. As such, I am ordering you to live, so that I can settle my tabs once and for all. It's that simple."

-o-

"KICK HIS ASS, LUFFY!" Captain 'Black Bart' Bartolomeo and Warlord Boa 'Pirate Empress' Hancock cheered in unison.

Or at least, they tried to cheer, anyways, their words slurred by a degree of inebriation that was made clear by the luminescent blushes they were both sporting.

And they were far from the only ones, either, seeing as the crews of both the Cannibal and the Quetzalcoatl had congregated to throw one of the most roaring parties in the history of the Calm Belt.