8/9

"Luffy giving tips…" Cross chuckled, shaking his head. "What is the world coming to? But hell, you're the one who's got the highest kicks-to-ass ratio of the whole crew! Hit me with your best—!"

"LOOK OUT!" Yoko suddenly shrieked, genuine panic and concern written across her face.

"MEXICAN INQUISITION!" Soundbite swiftly added.

Cross spat out a curse and spun around. "Damn it, shoulda seen this coming!"

In all fairness, Cross probably couldn't have foreseen both of the Amigo brothers charging him with weapons drawn and their eyes rolled into their heads in signs of pure berserker rage, with how banged up they were. Cross braced himself for the oncoming clash, wincing as the motion pulled against his stab wound—!

WHAM!

And then he could only stare in dumbfounded shock when Corto was suddenly blasted into Largo on account of a white-and-gold pommel slamming into the stouter man's cheek with all the force of a cannonball.

For a moment longer, Cross stared dumbly at the now completely—and more importantly, effortlessly—pummeled bodies who'd once been his opponents. He then turned an indignant eye on the source of said pommel strike.

"I had that handled!" he protested in an almost whiny tone.

Zoro blinked at the lower-ranked mate in surprise. "What, were these guys important or something? Sorry, I was just looking for some training dummies I could practice my pommel strikes on, and they looked like they were convenient. Still…" He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder. "You gonna have a problem with it if I take them on too? Repetition and all that, you know."

"Take…" Cross followed the direction Zoro was indicating, and paled when he saw the Amigo Pirates' mooks all staggering to their feet. "What… What the hell?! The captain and first mate I can buy, barely, but I know that I put them down! How the hell are they still—?!"

"Dunno, don't care," Zoro grunted indifferently. "Come on, can I take them or—?" He suddenly cut himself off and scowled skywards. "Ah, damn it. Too late."

"Say wha—ah hell…" Cross groaned, looking up himself. Those dark clouds had most definitely not been there two minutes prior.

"Hey, boys!"

The sound of fingers snapping accompanied the cheerful greeting.

KER-ZAP!

And then came a shower of lightning that struck down every last one of the Amigos.

"How're things?" Nami continued pleasantly as she walked up to her friends, as though she hadn't deep fried several dozen enemy combatants at once.

"You… sonnuva… killstealer!" Cross blurted in offense. "I had dibs on those S.O.B.s!"

"And I needed the practice!" Zoro scowled.

Nami glanced between the two before waving them off with a sheepish smile. "Ohhh man, sorry, sorry! I didn't mean to jam you up, really! I just thought I was taking out some trash is all, honest mistake��� But…" She stuck her tongue out, her Eisen Tempo swirling into an aura most angelic. "You'll forgive me because I'm so cute, right?"

Cross and Zoro exchanged flat looks, before bringing their fists down on top of her skull. "Not on your life," they deadpanned.

"OW!" the navigator yowled, clutching at the growing lump on her skull and sticking her tongue out further as she glowered at the other two officers. "YOU MADE ME BITE MY TONGUE, ASSHOLES!"

"Bitch!"

"Grinch!"

"Morons!"

"Can't we all agree YOU'RE ALL JUST TERRIBLE PEOPLE?"

"SLIMEBALL!"

"And they completely ignore the bleeding wound," Fabre sighed indulgently. "That's the Straw Hats for you. I'd better go find that doctor of theirs…"

A few feet away from the bickering, Yoko could only stare on in shock. She stared at the leaders of the Amigo Pirates, who'd essentially been swatted like pests; she stared at the small army of pirates that had been deep-fried in moments; she boggled at the trio—quartet if you counted the snail—of pirates who were lobbing insults at one another all while sporting massively teasing smiles.

And finally, the girl could only fall back on her ass as her grasp on reality flatlined.

"Wh-What are you people?" the Marine girl stammered weakly.

"Shishishi! It's obvious, isn't it?"

The thump of someone sitting next to her drew Yoko's gaze, and she beheld Monkey D. Luffy shooting a wide smile at her. "We're the Straw Hat Pirates!"

"B-but… but!" Yoko sputtered incredulously, waving her hands frantically. "T-That's not… not right! Pirates, they… they aren't like that! They're not like you! They-they don't protect people, they aren't cool or awesome or… or nice! Pirates are… they're…"

Luffy's smile slowly fell into a frown, and he glanced at the tenderized brothers. "You think pirates are meant to be like them, right?"

Yoko bit her lip, but she slowly nodded in agreement.

"Well… yeah, I know what you mean," Luffy said, his arms crossed and head nodding. "I don't like it, and I always say those guys are fakers, but… I'm dumb, but not that dumb. I know that most pirates are like that. I know that to the rest of the world, we're not really traditional pirates, y'know? It's stupid, but it's the truth."

Luffy took off his hat and looked at it, smiling wistfully. "But… I made a promise, see? I promised, on this hat, that I'd become the King of the Pirates. The one who gave it to me is the greatest man I've ever known, he saved my life when I was a kid… and he was the strongest pirate I've ever met."

Yoko gaped in stunned disbelief as Luffy looked back at her with a grin on his face. "I'm never gonna break this promise. I am going to become the King of the Pirates… but I'm not going to change to do it. I'm not going to let the world change me so that I can achieve my dream. I won't let the world change my dream. So, if the world says that my dream is wrong, impossible?" He pumped his fists with a confident nod. "Then I guess I'll have to change the world to fit my dream!"

Though Yoko's jaw still hung open, it was now a case of awe rather than disbelief that was the cause. "Wh-What are you talking about?"

"The way I see it?" Luffy said as he shoved his hat down. "While I become Pirate King, I'm gonna do one traditionally pirate-y thing." He shot Yoko a massive grin that was full of pure steel. "I'm going to steal the word 'pirate'." Upon seeing Yoko's look of confusion, he elaborated. "Well… not the word… the… the idea? Concept! I'm gonna take the concept of pirates for myself, and change it! People like me, people who just want to see what the sea have to offer, we'll be the real pirates. And all those assholes just in it for the treasure and other stupid stuff like that, they'll be the fakes, playing around at things they don't understand. How does that sound?"

"…you're weird," was the only thing Yoko could finally muster.

"Duh!" Luffy laughed uproariously. "I mean, c'mon! What's the fun in being normal? You know what I'm talking about, right? I mean, you're friends with a really cool giant beetle!"

Yoko's expression wavered slightly at the reminder of the last time she'd seen Boss, but ultimately she decided to just look away and try to get her thoughts in order.

Seeing her confusion, Luffy frowned thoughtfully before nodding his head at Cross, who was now snorting and butting heads with Zoro, while Nami off to the side consumed by giggles. "If you're still having a hard time getting it… I dunno, maybe talk to Cross? He's really smart, and he's always talking about morals and stuff on the SBS. He'd know more about it than me."

Yoko looked towards them just as Zoro scoffed at Cross. "Didn't you say you were happy with how badass you were?"

"I did and I am! But that!?" Cross stabbed his finger at the carnage arrayed behind them. "Shit like that makes me feel inferior! And also, this is when you guys show up!?" Growling wordlessly, he swung his arms out. "I was going up alone against several dozen bastards here!"

"Eh, it wasn't that big a deal, you had it handled," Zoro waved him off.

Cross's eye twitched as he spun around and gestured at the bleeding wound in his back. "I got shanked!"

"Like I said, no big deal," the swordsman rolled his eyes.

"Didn't you even boast that it wasn't that big a deal?" Nami asked with a thoughtful frown.

"It is the principle of the matter!"

"…Since when do you have principles?"

"Now see here—!"

"AHEM!"

"GRK!" Cross froze mid finger-jab, his face paling dramatically as he slowly turned to see that Fabre had just returned with a glaring Chopper in tow. "Aheh… hiya Chopper… how's tricks?"

The human-reindeer cocked his eyebrow in an unimpressed manner. "What's this I hear about you getting, oh, what's the word you used… shanked?"

"Ah…" Cross waved his hands defensively as cold sweat coated his brow. "I-It was nothing, really! So very shallow, barely even a scratch, I swea—!"

Chopper jabbed his hoof downward, his glare unwavering. "On your knees, shirt and jacket off. Now."

"Yessir," Cross yelped, swiftly following the orders.

Chopper gave the stab wound a single look before redoubling his glare at his patient. "Cross, you're savvy, you know stereotypes and tropes and such, right?"

"…right?"

"So you know how absolutely boneheaded it is to remove a penetrating object from a stab wound, right?"

Cross swallowed heavily, positively refusing to meet Chopper's accusing gaze. "Twisting the knife would cause more damage and I was moving around too much to be sure it wouldn't?"

"Nice story," Chopper crossed his hooves firmly. "What's the truth?"

The streams of cold sweat intensified further. "…Half intimidation factor, half adrenaline is both a steroid and an anesthetic."

Chopper snorted as he laid down his bag and started getting out his tools. "Well, if that's the case, then I'm sure you'll be able to go without my anesthetics for a bit."

"Wait, say wha—GAH YOU FURRY LITTLE BASTARD!" Cross howled as Chopper started to sew him up without warning or painkillers.

"Oh, suck it up, you took a dagger to the back, this is a sliver of metal, plus I need to ration out how much anesthesia I use with how fast you guys are burning through my supplies," Chopper said, rolling his eyes as he continued to work. "Meanwhile, let's focus on more important matters! You know, like how it's absolutely incredible that that thing didn't hit anything more important? Like your aorta. Or spine. Or a kidney. Or your lungs. Or liver. Or—!"

"Alright, I get it, there's a lot of important shit in my torso and I should stop blocking things with it, get off my—BACK!" Cross yelped at a particularly harsh tug.

"Unless you're going to get more armor, you probably should," Nami admitted.

"Psh, wishful thinking," Cross grumbled. "I might have just realized I'm stronger than I thought I was, but no way in hell am I strong enough to lug around a full suit of the stuff."

"Awww, that's too bad," Nami teased. "After all, isn't wearing a suit of armor a—?"

"MAN'S ROMANCE!"

"GO, BOSS, GO!"

"GAH!" Nami reeled in shock when Boss and his merry band of nitwits suddenly put on their usual show. "Where the hell did you all come from!?"

"I was summoned!" Boss shot a thumbs-up at her (somehow), a sparkling smile decorating his mug. For a moment, an illusion of a bowl cut and black, bushy, caterpillar-like eyebrows superimposed themselves over Boss' face.

And then, thankfully, it was gone.

There was a haunted expression on Cross's face as he clamped a hand over his eyes. "This ocean is going to kill me before we hit the damn Red Line again…"

"Like how this crew's shenanigans and blatant disregard for their own health is rapidly killing my childish sense of wonder and amazement?" Chopper asked flatly as he finished tying a knot in Cross's stitching. "Because I am far too intimate with you people's innards for comfort. Done, by the way. And I swear, if I check this again later and find it split—!"

"Hey, don't insult me! I am not Zoro!" Cross glared over his shoulder in offense.

"Bite me," said green-hair snorted.

Cross responded by holding out a leering Soundbite. "Don't tempt me. I will use this."

Soundbite opened his mouth—

"Arghghgggrgh…"

And then shut it just as swift with a blink of confusion. "UHHH… that wasn't me?"

"No, it was him," Zoro said, jabbing a thumb towards Corto. Following his gaze, Chopper's eyes widened; the luchador was shuddering on the ground, gurgling on the blood and foam that was shoving its way out of his throat.

"What did you do to him!?" the reindeer demanded, rushing over to the large pirate's side and starting to look him over.

"I did jack shit!" Cross growled. "Damn it, I knew them getting up was suspicious. I think they all dosed themselves with something to keep fighting, but Corto's ODing because his brother of the year gave him an extra dose earlier so that he could walk off a Gastro-Blast!"

"Damn damn damn damn…" the doctor cursed, intently looking the pirate over. "Fever, low blood pressure… Cross, did you see where he was injected?"

"Uh… he grabbed his neck when he first got up."

Chopper gently tilted Corto's head back and forth, and his eyes widened in shock when he beheld a visibly growing discoloration on his neck. "What on… this rash looks like toxic shock syndrome, only it's on steroids! What the hell did he take?!"

"Going by how they all managed to get up after Cross kicked their asses? Something stupidly effective that doesn't like to be double-dosed?" Nami hesitantly offered.

Chopper's eyes darted about in frantic thought. "Shit shit shit shit, and I can't give him an antibiotic if I don't know what that was…" Suddenly, he clicked his hooves. "Ah! I can still see the infection spreading, meaning it hasn't had time to circulate yet! Still dangerous though…" Chopper eyed Corto for a moment before shrugging. "Meh, he can survive losing a pint or two."

"A pint or two of wha—HURK!" Yoko's question promptly died in her throat as Chopper suddenly withdrew an empty and very large syringe from his pack and jammed it in Corto's neck. Slowly, he pulled the plunger out, along with a considerable amount of the luchador's blood.

"Alright…" Chopper nodded with a relieved smile as he observed that not only had the luchador's seizure abated, but his rash had stopped spreading. "That seems to have done it, now let's see just…. What… the hell…" Chopper's jaw slowly dropped in shock and horror as he held the syringe up to eye-level and watched as the blood held within visibly shifted its coloration.

"Ah, holy hell…" Cross brought his fist to his mouth with a sickly moan. "That just can not be right."

Chopper stared for a moment longer before scowling in utter fury. He then marched up to one of the less fried Amigo mooks, grabbed their collar and wrenched them up to stare into his infuriated eyes. "Who gave you this drug!?" he snarled. "You bastards aren't smart enough to have made it on your own! Who gave it to you?! Who gave you this—this poison!?"

The Amigo pirate gurgled in terror, visibly struggling to stay conscious. "I-It… b-but that's not… i-it was… h-he told us—!"

"A NAME!"

Shivering like mad, the pirate stammered out a single word. "I-I-In… di… go…" And with that, the pirate's eyes rolled up into his head and he collapsed entirely.

"Useless!" Chopper swore. Dropping the pirate, the doctor went still for a solid minute. When he turned back to Cross, the cyan anger was still there, just… buried. "Please tell me you know this 'Indigo'."

"If this is the shit he's peddling?" Cross scowled down at Corto's ravaged body. "I wish I did, if only so I could let you dissect his most assuredly twisted ass." He shook his head. "The only guy I know of who could come up with something like this has a totally different name, didn't use aliases from what I saw, is on the wrong side of the Red Line, and is more into weapons than boosters anyway. Sorry."

"Tsk…" The human-Zoan ground his hoof into his temple before heaving a deep sigh and glancing at the onlooking mayor. "I need help hauling these morons back to their vessel, where I can make sure none of them are going to get melted from the inside out before we send them on their way. Could you spare a few of your townsfolk or…?"

"Oh, no, that's perfectly fine!" Fabre nodded hastily. "I think we have a few carts we can use, too! We'll fetch them right away for you."

"I'll come with you," Chopper nodded morosely, following the mayor back into the town.

The rest of the Straw Hats could only watch as their doctor walked off in silence, his shoulders slumped and speaking of considerable stress. Once he was out of sight, though, the captain of their ship's guard heaved a massive sigh and clapped his flippers together. "Well!" he announced in a lamenting tone. "Not that this hasn't been fun, but I've worn my flippers raw splitting trees all day, and I wanna put that practice to practical use. Either someone gives me a good fight, or—!"

"CAREFUL WHAT YOU wish for, blubber-brain," Soundbite snickered.

The dugong glanced at the mollusk in confusion—

"GWOOOOOGH!"

And then grinned in absolute elation as an insectoid war cry warbled out, and a massive shadow shot over the meadow. Before the onlookers' eyes, Boss Kabuto, even larger than he'd been when the Straw Hats had first laid eyes on him, landed on a nearby hill, roaring and snorting as he pawed at the ground and swung his beady eyes around in search of a good brawl.

"HE CAME THIS WAY BECAUSE he smelled a load of strangers AND HE WANTS TO TEST OUT HIS NEW UPGRADES…"

Boss Kabuto's gaze latched onto the downed Amigo Pirates, and as soon as he processed that there was no fun to be had, he slumped with a disappointed warble.

"AND that SHOULD REQUIRE NO TRANSLATION."

"Boss!" Yoko cried, running forward and embracing her friend's horn. "You're looking great! But you shed so early, are you alright?"

The beetle grunted reassuringly, though his demeanor was tense. It didn't take Yoko long to realize, and she looked down. "I'm sorry about earlier, Boss. I was… I was being stupid."

Boss slowly blinked, and then began rubbing her gently with a couple of feelers. Before long, Yoko was laughing uncontrollably. "HAHAHAHA! S-S-Stop it, Boss, that t-tickles! A-And!" She shoved the feeler away with a tearful smile. "I-I still have to say something important…"

The feelers pulled back, and Boss followed, his expression one of confusion. "I… I'm sorry for being prejudiced," she apologized sincerely, soothingly rubbing his carapace. "The Straw Hats… they were right, I was wrong. About… a lot of things. The most important thing being that not all pirates are bad." She glanced over her shoulder and gave the Straw Hats a sad smile. "Especially not these ones."

"Don't worry about it," Nami cut in, waving off her concerns with a kind smile. "Many of our crew members used to feel the same way, myself included."

Yoko nodded in acknowledgement. "Yeah, I was wrong about you guys…" Then, sloooowly, she allowed a wide grin to spread over her face. "But there was one thing I wasn't wrong about!"

And with that, she spun back around and used Boss-K's horn to make him look her in her eager eyes. "My best badass bug-friend in the whole wide world can still kick the asses of your rubber brained idiot and your smelly blubberbutt, at the same time and with every single last handicap you can think of, all without breaking a sweat! Isn't that right, Boss!?"

Boss Kabuto only hesitated long enough to give his best friend a look of shock before rearing up on his hind-legs and roaring his defiance to the high heavens.

"THAT'S A FIGHTING ROAR RIGHT THERE!" Boss Dugong cackled euphorically, unwinding his rope-dart and spinning it into a blur.

"GO, BOSS, GO!" The TDWS cheered as one from a safe distance.

"FINALLY!" Luffy whooped, shooting to his feet and windmilling his arm just as fast as his aquatic Boss. "I'M STUFFED, I'M PISSED AND I'M READY TO BRAWL! LET'S DO IT!"

"Back the hell up!" Zoro called out, leading the charge away from the prepping fighters. "These three aren't going to stop until this whole field's a crater!"

"And it's going to be glorious!" Nami cheered, beri signs flashing in her eyes even as she used her Eisen Cloud to cart away the fallen Amigo Pirates in a… less than gentle manner. "All three fighters are local celebrities, and this is the prize fight of the decade! I'M GOING TO CLEAN UP WHAT PROFIT THIS TOWN HAS TO OFFER! FIVE PERCENT OF THE HAUL TO WHOEVER HELPS ME WITH THE BETTING!"

"AYE, MA'AM!" the TDWS barked, hot on Nami's heels as she charged into town.

Yoko was no exception to the general evacuation, and she only paused as she ran to glance up at Cross. "You think… that we're… far enough yet?"

The tactician opened his mouth, before almost choking on his tongue as an earth-shattering impact, an ear-shattering roar, and a skin-blistering blast of blazing air washed over them. "Signs point to nope!" He glanced over his shoulder with a cocked eyebrow. "And just for the record, your badass beetle breathes fire?! I am officially jealous."

"Hey, what's going on?! Are you idiots stressing your—?! IS THAT THE GIANT BEETLE YOU GUYS TALKED ABOUT EARLIER!? AND IS IT BREATHING FIRE!? SO COOOOOOL!"

"Oh, that's nice!" Cross sighed with an honestly relieved smile as a euphoric squeal sounded out. "Chopper's been so serious lately, it's a relief to know he's still got some kid in him, you know?"

"Heh, if you say so! And you didn't see Boss's fire before? Yeah, he's awe—wait, what?" Yoko glanced at the fight, and then did a double take as she saw what her friend was doing, a massive grin splitting her face. "Whoa, that's new! It was just fireballs before, not an actual flamethrower! Boss is even more awesome now!" Said grin slipped as she started to lag behind. "Or… not if I wind up getting roasted by it…"

"Can't have that, can we? Alley-oop!"

"Say wha—WAGH!" Yoko yelped as she suddenly found herself getting scooped onto the pirate's back. "Watch it, you stinking pirate bast—ah…"

Cross, meanwhile, just barked out a laugh. "Make me, you stuck-up Marine brat!"

Yoko blinked in surprise before snickering right back. "Swashbuckling ne'er-do-well! Ah, but, before you reply," she hastily cut him off with a sheepish grin. "While an insult back-and-forth would be fun, your captain said something about you, uh, being smart and knowing a lot about how the world works and stuff?"

Cross immediately perked up, adopting a truly devilish grin. "Ooooh, a chance to corrupt the mind of the youthful, ignorant and innocent?"

"'TIS AS GOOD AS OUR BIRTHDAY! WOOHOOHOO!" Soundbite chortled in agreement.

Yoko swallowed heavily as her face drained of blood. "I suddenly regret absolutely everything ever."

"Too late!" Lassoo and Funkfreed laughed from where they were bringing up the rear.

Cross started to nod, before suddenly casting a glare over his shoulder at Funkfreed. "And we're not riding you why exactly?!"

"…yoooou never asked?"

"If you make me, so help me, ivory farm—!"

"Up and at 'em!"

"WHOA!" Yoko could only gape in shock as she suddenly found the pirate she'd been foisted on himself foisted onto the back of his elephant sword. She blinked slowly before gracing Cross with a goofy grin. "…I take it back: you guys aren't weird. You're fun!"

"All that and more, little lady!" Cross swept his hat off in a mock-bow before giving her a toothy smirk. "Now… where would you like me to start?"

And so, with a brawl for the ages as the backdrop, another soldier in the war against immorality and injustice was slowly and surely forged.

-o-

A world away, a large and imperious man puffed on a cigar, his eyes scanning over the dominion he had claimed for himself. The dominion that would be the vehicle of his conquest… and his vengeance.

At the sound of farting rubber behind him, said man cocked an eyebrow but didn't look away from his view. "Something you need to tell me, Doctor?" the Imperious Man rumbled.

"Piro piro piro," a high-pitched voice chuckled behind him. "Oh, nothing too critical, I assure you. I just thought I'd inform you that I've just gotten a report: the Amigo Pirates have been soundly defeated."

"…the who?"

"Piro piro, I'm not surprised you don't remember them." The Laughing Man grinned as he crossed his arms behind his head, his shoes flatulating quite loudly as he shifted his weight from side to side. "They were the crew that applied to be our 51st Division. You set them the condition of retrieving an old prototype of the Kaen Kabuto line that managed to escape a few years back. Long obsolete by now, but it would have been nice to dissect it, see how time affected its evolution. But, ah well."

The Imperious Man was silent for a few seconds before scratching his head and grunting. "Ah, right, I remember 'dem now. Eh, no big loss, they were just intended to be cannon fodder anyway. Still, so long as we have an opening…" The Imperious Man reached a hand into his jacket and held a sheet of paper over his shoulder. "Send an invitation to them. They've quieted down recently, but they did raise some impressive hell in a short amount of time. They'll fill in our ranks quite nicely."

"Piro piro~! As you order, Captain!" the Laughing Man sang as he snatched up the paper.

The Imperious Man glanced back at the laugher. "What's got you in such a good mood?"

"Two things, sir!" The Laughing Man donned a massive grin as he held up a gloved finger. "First, even though they were total failures, the plant I had in the Amigo's crew has sent me back some excellent data on a project I've been working on!"

"Which would be?"

"Behold!" The Laughing Man proffered his hand, displaying a pair of vials that contained a viscous, reddish-orange solution. "Booster IQ, or BIQ for short. Basically IQ Serum for the common footsoldier. Heals wounds, replenishes stamina, the whole nine yards. In essence, a supersoldier elixir!"

"Hmmm…" The Imperious Man took a long drag from his cigar before side-eyeing the Laughing Man. "And I take it the reason you had yet to tell me about it is that it's still incomplete? And you used these… Amiibo Pirates or whatever as lab rats?"

"PIRO PIRO PIRO PIRO PIRO!" the Laughing Man cackled, eagerly tossing the vials in the air and juggling them about. "The morons never suspected a thing! Bought my spiel about it being 'a sign of our allegiance and trust' hook line and sinker and didn't even ask for change! Ahh, but for all that they were weak idiots, at least they gave us some valuable data!" The Laughing Man's grin then became downright savage as he clutched the vials. "In more ways than one."

The Imperious Man snorted out a cloud of smoke. "How could a bunch of weaklings who couldn't even capture a single obsolete beetle be good as anything other than warm bodies?"

"Why," the Laughing Man sneered as he replaced the vials in his pockets. "Precisely because it wasn't the beetle that defeated them."

"Oh? Then what did?"

"Who, sir, not what. And in this case'…" The Laughing Man withdrew a sheet of paper from his lab coat and held it out to the Imperious Man, displaying the picture printed upon it to him.

The picture of a widely smiling kid.

"The 'who'," the Laughing Man chuckled grimly. "Was none other than the Straw Hat Pirates."

The air around the Imperious Man suddenly tensed as he stared at the bounty held before him, and it was with slow and deliberate movement that he grasped said paper and for himself. "Is 'zat so?" he asked in the rumble that was his version of quiet.

"I'm completely certain," the Laughing Man nodded politely. "In fact, it was the Voice of Anarchy himself who personally dealt with the lot of them. Hard to mistake that voice when it's throwing out taunts, you know."

The Imperious Man tuned out the Laughing Man's words, instead focusing all his attention on the bounty. On a single aspect of the picture.

An aspect that had been burned into his mind on that fateful day twenty-two years past.

"That… damn… smile," the Imperious Man snarled, the paper crumpling in his grip.

"Pi~ro pi~ro," the Laughing Man sang, swinging back and forth on his flatulent heels. "I take it this means we're taking a detour after we reintroduce ourselves to the good soldiers of Marineford?"

The Imperious Man exhaled a malevolent rumble of smoke, his mouth set in a deep scowl. "You've got that damn right, Doctor."

"PIRO PIRO! Wonderful!" the Laughing Man sang gleefully as he clapped his hands together. "I'll go and prepare that which I can for the festivities! If we don't sink them outright, then they'll make wonderful whetstones for my creations! See you later~!" And with that, the Laughing Man turned to swagger off.

"Hold it."

Before suddenly freezing in place, cold sweat coating his body as existential terror filled his body.

"Relax, relax, you're not in trouble," the Imperious Man waved his hand dismissively, causing the Laughing Man to relax. "I'm just curious is all. You haven't been miming your responses lately, Doctor. Why is that?"

And just like that the Laughing Man tensed up again, but for a completely different reason, as his tense smile revealed. "Forgive me, sir, if I've been a bit serious lately. But I've quite simply had no other choice but to double down and focus on my work. After all…" The Laughing Man's hands snapped into trembling fists, his teeth starting to grind against one another. "At the cusp of the unveiling of my twenty-year masterpiece, I'm at risk of getting shown up by a little pirate brat who hasn't been on the sea for more than a year, and who hasn't even reached the age of majority! Why do you think I came up with BIQ, hm!? I need to prove that that little furry rat doesn't have shit on me! I—ah…piro piro piro…"