6/7

"How stupid do you think I am?!" Soundbite snarled indignantly. "ACTUALLY, DON'T ANSWER THAT. The point is, I know that that shit would kill me. IT'S ALREADY GOING TO DO A NUMBER ON YOU two… AND I WANT TO BE THERE WHEN IT DOES. I want to make a difference, however I can… for once in my life…"

Nami blinked in shock, her expression slowly shifting to pity. "Soundbite…"

"I COULDN'T DO SHIT TO ENERU, ONLY JUST MANAGED TO STOP THE WHITE FEATHER-RAT, and there's jack-all I can do for him now," Soundbite listed off in a dead tone. Then, he slowly lifted his eyestalks and gazed at her in tears. "Don't… don't take this from me… please…"

While Zoro and Kuma stared back at the snail with vaguely pitying dead-eyed expressions, Nami shuffled over to him and pick him up. Wordlessly, she carried him back towards Kuma and Zoro, who were already moving alongside the spheres of pain.

They moved in silence, most of their strength focused on getting their legs to move, and eventually came to an area that had already been mostly flattened from the war against Moria. Zoro stopped, and Kuma positioned the ball of Luffy's pain before him and the one of Cross's alongside it.

Nami hung back, using her Eisen clouds to place Soundbite on a branch within the view of the action, but far off the ground. Then she discarded the majority of her staff, the clouds retreating inside, as she moved back to face her fate with a benign tube of metal clutched in a deathgrip. Kuma regarded them both for a moment.

"…You would truly sacrifice your dreams for their lives?" he asked at last.

"…We're Straw Hats. Any of us would sacrifice our dreams for the rest of us without a second thought if that was what it took…" Nami picked up, hesitating for a bare moment. Then her resolve crystallized.

"But it's not just that. All of us have dreams of changing the world; Chopper's going to invent a true Panacea, Robin's going to uncover the Void Century, Vivi's going to become queen of an entire kingdom! And sure, we're making an impact…" She shook her head. "But Cross is doing so much more. He's doing the impossible, taking a crowbar to a monolith that's been crushing us all for centuries. He's started something incredible… and I can't, in good conscience, let it end here. Too many people depend on him, there's too much weight in his words. He just… he can't die now. So…"

Nami's mouth slowly lifted into a serene smile. "If the price to pay for him to follow his dream is my atlas, a dream that someone else can and will pick up, and can and will accomplish? Well…" she chuckled self-deprecatingly as she scratched the back of her head with a projected air of nonchalance. "You know how much of a miser I am, right? No way in hell I'd pass up that kinda bargain!"

"As for me," Zoro said, a smirk on his face that was somehow bestial as well as peaceful. "Kuina may be pissed at me… but I made my decision long ago. The World's Greatest Swordsman has already sworn his life to the King of the Pirates."

"Ehhh?" Nami glanced at him with a catty expression. "Is that so? That's not how I remember it. Didn't you once tell me that you swore, and I'm paraphrasing here, that you'd always follow your own ambitions first, and that if Luffy ever got in your way he'd have to, oh what was it again… oh right, end his life on your sword?"

Zoro smirked right back at her. "Have you forgotten, witch? I'm the big bad drunken oni. Who knows what crazy shit I say, right?"

Nami chuckled lightheartedly as she looked back at the ball of agony, newfound life injected into her smile. "A witch and an oni, sacrificing themselves for the King of the Pirates and the Voice of Anarchy…" Her smile twitched ever so slightly. "It's almost like a bad joke…"

"You can take out the almost," Zoro growled as he double-tied his bandanna around his skull. "After all… we both know that the punchline is going to suck."

And so, the Pirate Hunter strode into his captain's suffering, and the Weather Witch followed him into her own ordeal barely a second after.

What followed next will not be described, for the sake of all reading, due to the universally horrific nature of the event.

And yet, for all that what transpired was horrific, for all that it was gruesome and terrifying in every possible regard, it did not leave so much as a trace of an impression upon 'The Tyrant' Bartholomew Kuma.

"Did they know that such banter would comfort them…" the hyper-advanced cyborg mused. "Or was it sheer happenstance? And were they attracted to him because he was a D.… or was such confidence inspired because he's your son…?" He remained silent for a moment before sighing and shaking his head slightly. "In the end, it is not so much the 'how' that matters as what comes of it. The only true question that remains is how far he will be able to continue at his current level."

And with that, the bio-metallic giant fell silent, and continued his vigil.

~o~

Lassoo and Funkfreed stared at the sniveling snail as he came to the end of his story.

[No wonder you couldn't tell Cross that…] Funkfreed breathed. [Or even Luffy, for that matter…]

[If those two ever found out that Zoro and Nami put their dreams of the throne and a new world ahead of their own…] Lassoo muttered, more to himself than anyone.

[If they managed to come out of that without the knowledge completely tearing them apart inside,] Soundbite sniffed woefully. [Then the resulting butting of heads would almost definitely rip the crew in half. I… I can't tell anyone about this, you hear me? If this ever got out…]

[The end of the Straw Hats… and you're trusting us with it?] Funkfreed said incredulously. Soundbite looked up, puzzlement on his face beneath the tears.

[Ummm…] The snail swung his eyes between the two in honest confusion. [No duh? Why wouldn't I? You're Cross's partners, too.]

[In case you haven't noticed, you've been a bit of a little shit to us the whole time we've been on the crew.] Lassoo only managed half of a deadpan, unable to fully hide his disbelief.

[I'm a little shit to everyone on the crew, why would that mean I consider you lesser than anyone else?] the snail questioned in genuine bewilderment.

The two Zoan-weapons locked eyes, a silent exchange passing between them. After a mutual nod they gave the snail reassuring smiles.

[Well, look, it's going to be alright, alright?] Funkfreed softly offered. [Nobody's ever going to hear about this, because you've gotten it off your chest, and we'll never say squat.]

[I mean, come on,] Lassoo chuffed, the vocalization shaking his bulky frame. [You know what we did way back when. If there's anyone who knows a thing or two about keeping mum, it's us. You've done everything right, so now all that's left is to—]

[Let it go?] Soundbite finished with a shaky smile. He bowed his head and chuckled, shaking his eyestalks. [Heh… never thought I'd draw comfort from that earworm, especially after Aokiji…] He held his position for a bit before perking up. [Ah… say, seeing as we've still got some time… wanna go fortify that excuse into an actual fact? I wouldn't mind some feedback on the best frequency to vibrate you at for maximum damage.]

Funkfreed nodded proudly, picking the snail up with his trunk. [You got it… partner.]

And with that, the trio started to make their way out of the depths of the forest they'd ensconced themselves in, but after taking a few steps, Lassoo slowed his pace and lagged behind, sniffing inquisitively at the air.

He kept his nose raised for a few seconds, but ultimately chuffed dismissively and loped back up to his fellow weapon before either of the animals could notice his absence.

Of course he'd noticed their tail, how couldn't he? Even if Soundbite was too absorbed in his grief and self-loathing to pay attention, Lassoo had sniffed them out as soon as they'd started hanging around at eavesdropping distance. But really, it was no problem. After all, if there was one person on the crew the dog-cannon trusted to be circumspect under the right circumstances, then it was definitely this one.

-o-

[Guuuuh, damn it damn it damn it,] a certain peeved gull cursed to himself as he flapped his way back down onto the island-ship once known as Thriller Bark. [Doing something so rookie as forgetting to deliver the damn paper?! I know that we're breaking ties with that over-fluffed moron and I know that his rag's barely worth lining my roost with, but still! Bah, with any luck he'll at least gimme a good tip or somethi—WAGH!]

Without any forewarning, the coo was suddenly knocked clean out of the air by something small and furry and fast shooting out of the window of a structure that was still standing, tackling him in midair. The impact knocked the wind out of Coo's sails, and more importantly, the rhythm out of his wings, sending both himself and his attacker plummeting to the earth.

The bird slammed into the ground with a "Woof!" of pain, and the second he got his bearing back he started scrambling desperately to get his wings back in motion.

[Don't.]

[Urgh!] Coo winced when a heavy weight landed on his chest and, more importantly, a paw slapped down onto his neck and held him in place.

[Don't move,] his attacker intoned. [Don't cry out for help, and don't give me any shit, or I swear that I will ground you permanently. Do I make myself clear?]

[Ggh… w-what the hell—? Who are—?] Coo cracked his eye open and tried to twist his head around to get a glance at his attacker. He promptly blinked in shock when he actually recognized both what and who had him pinned. [What the—Cottontail?!]

[In the flesh,] the fox responded coolly, her normally squinting eyes opened enough to pin the newsbird with enough ice to give Fire Fist Ace a nasty case of frostbite.

[Wh-What's the big idea?] the bird squawked indignantly, trying and failing to get some leverage to move. [I've been nothing but helpful to your crew—!]

[And you're going to give us a little more help,] the cloud fox calmly interrupted. [Specifically, you're going to help me, and you're not going to let anyone else on the crew know about it, especially Soundbite. If anyone ever finds out, I will track you down and feed you your own beak. Are we clear?]

Something in Su's tone gave Coo pause, and after a moment he nodded frantically. [Alright, alright, my beak is sealed! Now let me up, damn it!]

The fox quickly acquiesced, stepping off the gull, and immediately began barking out a blue streak when he flapped into the air. [SON OF A—!]

[Oh, calm down, I'm not going anywhere,] Coo groused as he landed on a nearby piece of rubble, well out of Su's reach. [I just want to actually talk to you without giving you the chance to bite my head off if I say anything you don't like. And before you say anything, this isn't just for my sake, I'm actually worried about you.]

Su twitched in place, honestly taken aback at that. [Wh-What? What are you—?]

[You're a Straw Hat Pirate,] Coo snapped impatiently. [For all that you guys love to screw around and be smartasses, you're also almost all genuinely good people. You wouldn't do something like this unless the reason for it was serious, and I'm not doing anything until I know what that reason is. So talk.] The bird's gaze softened, ever so slightly. [What's this about?]

For a second, Su fought a very visible war with herself, her diminutive frame shaking and twitching as her pride clashed with her pragmatism. Neither won; she slumped, defeated as the weight of the past twenty-four hours crushed both sides wholesale. [My best friend, Conis, is enamored with Cross,] she whispered in a broken tone.

Coo blinked, trying to make sense of the sudden non-sequitur. [That's… ah…? I'm… happy for her? Happy for me too, seeing as it means I win that thousand-to-one betting pool—!]

[Not romantically, you moron!] Su snarled at the bird, hackles drawing back in a momentary burst of energy. [She admires him in a mostly platonic way and that's it!] And then, as fast as it came, the energy left Su and she shrank in on herself. [Cross… Cross was the entire reason Conis became a pirate. She admires Cross as an inspiration; his tenacity, his intelligence, his will to go forth and venture, she holds them all up as the standards that she aspires to every day.] Su's head drooped as she sighed. [And… she's not alone…]

Coo's eye-feathers shot up as he connected that with the oddly specific threat she'd pinned him with earlier. [You admire Soundbite?]

[How could I not!?] Su demanded incredulously, sounding as though she were on the verge of tears. [He's just a snail, for crying out loud; his physical abilities are jack, he's rock bottom on the food chain, he's barely bigger than my paws, he's not even two years old, and in anyone else's limbs, his powers would be practically useless… and he's still earned every beri of his bounty! He's defiant in the face of the world's dangers, he fights like a wolf even when against a Sea King, and…] She sagged in defeat. [And he never, ever fails to support his partner… no matter what…]

Another piece fell into place for the gull. [This is… about Eneru, isn't it?]

[Cross gave Conis the chance to see the world,] Su whispered tearfully. [Soundbite let me fight. He gave me a voice and a chance to ask for help, when in the past all I could do was suffer in silence, incapable of lifting a paw as my best friend in the whole world died, a little bit more each day. He gave me the courage I needed to leave the only home I've known my whole life, and support Conis as we sail through every kind of hell imaginable. That snail… h-he's more than one of my best friends… he's my hero…]

Coo remained silent, unsure how to respond to such an explanation and not wanting to risk the cloud fox getting angry again. That seemed to be a fool's goal, however, as the fox slowly uncurled and looked at him, cold fury back in her eyes.

[He's my hero… and today, he was made to feel worthless,] she bit out. [Not ten minutes ago, he was brought to tears at the mere memory of what we endured. What he went through? It's never going to leave him. I'm never going to be able to look at him again without remembering how low this day brought him… and I refuse to ever see him that way again if I can help it. But…]

She glanced away, scowl still marring her features. [The fact is that I literally can't help it. I can talk as big a game as I want, but at the end of the day I'm just a small fox with a big mouth, and unlike Soundbite, I can't make that work.]

She kept her position for a bit before slowly looking up at Coo, the scowl now steely with determination. [And that's where you flap in.]

Coo flinched back, more than a bit unnerved by the sheer conviction in the fox's gaze. [And… what do you think I can do to help with that?]

The gaze cooled off as Su sat down on her haunches, her tail lashing back and forth. [You not only work for an organization made to gather information, you're founding one yourself. Your flock is spread all over the world, and you're going to put each and every last one of them to work, finding me exactly what I need to stand a fighting chance in this mad world of ours, and actually make a damn difference.]

Coo thought it over for a moment before slowly nodding his acceptance. [And… what they'll be looking for would be…?]

[An old legend. One that my mother told me when I was a kit. One that all foxes, no matter where they're from and despite all the endless variations and mutations, know by heart.]

Su's eyes cracked open, shining from within.

[You're going to find me everything you possibly can on the Children of Inari.]

-o-

I've gotta admit, even after living in this world for somewhere over half a year now and living through the craziest and most unique experiences imaginable? I might not have a dearth of experience in the field of such things, but I'm certain that there isn't anything in the world quite like a Straw Hat party, victory or otherwise.

And I'm certain that these parties are unique because nowhere else in the world will you find sights or experiences even remotely similar to what a Straw Hat party has to offer.

Nowhere else will you find a Five-Star East Blue cook from the North Blue fending off a rubber captain from the buffet with kicks capable of shattering concrete, all while lovingly serving whatever female might come by him and tossing measured portions of food down the aforementioned captain's mouth whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Nowhere else will you find a tengu-nosed sniper leading whoever he possibly can in seventy unique songs all praising his crew, with a living skeleton providing background music.

Nowhere else could you find a band of martial-arts-practicing dugongs trying to wrestle a sleep-walking scientist that is also a mad doctor into submission, while an artillery-toting angel scrambles with said mad doctor's bag to find something to put him back down.

And certainly nowhere else in the world will you find a demon-witch tangling with a monster-oni on a couch on the outskirts of said party. Or, rather, a monster-oni snapping at the demon-witch who was baiting him while wearing a grin befitting a certain gaseous feline.

"Still don't get why you get off scot-free, while Luffy's still riding my ass and calling me an idiot! Him! Calling me an idiot!" Zoro groused, scowling furiously into the bottle he was holding with the hand Chopper hadn't triple-bandaged to his chest.

"Well, while I'll admit that Luffy calling you that is a bit hypocritical…" Nami grinned cattily as she stretched her threaded fingers above her head, only slightly hampered by the bandages that had been freshly applied to her arm. "I think I can give you an honest and completely logical reason as to why I'm being left alone."

"Why do I get the feeling I'm going to want to cut you?" Zoro grumbled, his scowl twitching into a half-smirk.

Nami's grin grew in both size and innocence as she got on her knees and pushed her head into the First Mate's personal space, the image only emphasized by the halo of pure white shining around her. "Because I am a cute and adorable lamb of innocence, who can do no wrong~" she practically sang to him.

"I resent that!" Merry called from nearby, not pausing in her consumption of an entire barrel of hot pitch.

Zoro, meanwhile, turned his head to the navigator entirely and butted his forehead with hers, a rictus grin on his face, a vein bulging on his temple and murder gleaming in his eyes. "The shit cook is currently occupied with our idiot captain. What the hell is keeping me from doing what I should have done a long time ago and kicking your ass right here, right now?"

Nami's eyes cracked open and her grin grew malevolent as her halo darkened ominously. "Because if you do, I will fry your smarmy ass into a briquet and use your ashes to fertilize my beloved tangerines."

Zoro's own grin widened significantly as his free hand started to drift towards Wado. "Bring it—!"

"WELL, NOW!"

"GAH!"/"HOLY—!"

My erstwhile superiors promptly almost sent themselves tumbling ass-over-teakettle when I suddenly leapt over the back of the couch they were sitting on and landed between them.

I gave the pair my best winning grin as I watched them scramble to get their composure back. "You two are acting quite lively! Feeling better, I take it?"

My cheeky smile remained in place even as Zoro's hand slapped me upside my head. "Good enough to kick your ass twice over," he growled good-naturedly at me.

And it still didn't change when Nami gave me her own brand of 'attention' in the form of a chop to the skull. "And make it thrice for me!" she laughed, sounding like she was more than a little drunk on the atmosphere.

Amused chuckles sprang from my throat as I received proof that my friends were hale and hearty. Once they subsided, I sent a glance at the bandage on Nami's arm. "So, I take it you got your tattoo touched up?"

Nami hesitated briefly before adopting a light smile as she ghosted her fingers over the bandages. "Ah… yeah, yeah I did. It'll take a week or so for the scars and ink to finish settling, but… yeah." She nodded, before continuing with considerable more conviction. "Yeah, good as new!"

"Great!" I clapped my hands and rubbed them together eagerly. "Well, if that's the case, then what say the three of us celebrate, eh?" And with that, I dug through my bag and withdrew the items I'd temporarily left the party to gather.

It wasn't anything special, really. Just a small bottle of sake and three saucers, perfectly average.

Still, however average the items were, Nami and Zoro took one look at them and froze up, looking like they'd seen a flying purple people eater sprout from the table.

Don't ask me how I know what that looks like. Seriously, South Blue tequila: never again.

"Uh, Cross?" Zoro said, cold sweat shining on his brow. "I, ah, this could be a cultural thing or something, but this is—!"

"Eh?" I hummed idly, my innocent smile not shifting an inch as I filled all three saucers, with plenty of overlap between them. "You say something?"

Zoro fell silent as for once he read between the lines, and Nami picked up the torch in his stead, snapping her head around in frantic desperation. "Cross, I-I don't think Robin would—!"

And then our navigator's words died in her throat when she caught our archaeologist's eye, and her only reaction was to smile knowingly and raise her glass in toast, a motion that Luffy eagerly mirrored with his own frothing mug of… what I really hoped was Cola. Drunk Luffy is not something the world will ever be prepared for.

Nami held her open-mouthed stare for almost a minute, and when she finally returned her gaze to me, I met it with a saucer raised in salute. "Cheers?" I offered.

It took a few minutes before their shock finally grew numb enough that they could respond with any semblance of composure.

"You are serious about this, aren't you?" Nami softly stated.

I could only keep my cheeky grin up for a moment longer, at which point I slowly sobered up. Gazing into my saucer, I traced the bottom of the cup through the clear liquid. "Ever since I came here," I said softly. "You two have stuck by my side. Through thick and thin, hell and high water… through every troubled time, all the heartache and pain. You've only ever doubted me with damn good reason and have never let me down. And then today you put your lives on the line for me… and… and…" I swallowed heavily before saying what I had to. "If you… honestly agreed to do this… this downright crazy thing with me… I would be honored and privileged… and I swear that I will stand by you through every inch of whatever comes next… just as I know you'll stand by me."

Nami stared at me with wide eyes, every gear in her brain visibly turning at full speed in an effort to make sense out of everything I'd just… poured out to her. And finally, her expression still dumbstruck, she slowly raised a finger to point at me. "You," she breathed in a low tone, her voice raw with emotion. "Are an insufferable bastard. And you—" She snapped her attention to Zoro. "Are a suicidal moron…"

And then she scooped her saucer up, head shaking. "And God help me, I'm worse than the both of you combined because for the life of me I can't think of anywhere else in the world I'd rather be!" she spat out in a single breath.

Zoro mulled that over for a bit before heaving a sigh of defeat. "Well, you're right about one thing…" The swordsman leaned over and raised his saucer, smirking all the while. "Only someone with a real death wish would agree to try and keep you clowns safe."

I slowly looked between the two, scarcely able to believe it, to believe that they'd actually agreed to this, and when I did, I steeled my gaze and nodded firmly. "OK… OK then. Let's do this. On the count of… ah, screw it!" And with that I knocked my saucer back, my fellow officers doing the same moments after.

We all drained our cups, holding our positions for a few moments…

"GAH!"/"HOLY HELL!"/"URGH!"

Before we all hunched forward as we suddenly experienced the wonderful sensation of having our faces kicked in by a heaping helping of—!

"THAT WAS VODKA, YOU JERK!" Nami and Zoro raged at me together, slamming the back of my skull at the same time, not that I could notice at the moment!

"Not my fault! Who puts vodka in a sake pitcher!?" I wheezed, massaging my burning throat. "And aren't you two supposed to be our resident anti-drunks?!"

"Not against South Blue COMЯADE-grade Spirits!" Nami hacked, furiously wiping tears from her eyes.

"Those ice-toting bastards use it to tan Sea King hides!" Zoro choked out.

"Alright, alright, my bad," I conceded, waving him off. "Should I, what, go and get an actual bottle and we try again or—?"

"NO NEED!"

"GAH!"

We all jumped when Luffy suddenly bellowed from the rafters, where he was swinging like the animal that gave him his surname.

"YOU GUYS DID IT!" our captain whooped. "CONGRATS, ALL OF YOU! C'MON! PARTY HARDER!"

We all stared at him and the intensifying celebrations before collapsing bonelessly onto our couch.

"Fuuuuck that sucked so hard…" I breathed through my still-burning throat, my eyes clenched shut.

"Yeah…" Nami and Zoro nodded in agreement, in much the same state.

I paused for a second as I considered things before tilting my head slightly. "…either of you regret it?"

Even without looking, I could tell that the pair had both adopted shameless smiles. "Nope."

"Yeah…" I could tell, because I'm pretty sure I had one myself. "Me neither."

And that, as they say, was that.

-o-

"Don don don don!"

"Oh, thank goodness," Kaya sighed in relief, laying aside the pen that had been writing her thesis on Devil Fruit-inflicted illnesses as Merry moved to pick up the snail. "I was starting to get worried with the delay."

"Given that they seemed to have all but won when last we heard them, I will admit to sharing the sentiment, Miss Kaya," Merry responded as he dutifully made his way to his master's side with snail in hand—or on-platter, as it were. "But it is Luffy and his comrades. I suspect that they've earned some modicum of faith, no?"

"Just to confirm, when you say Luffy…" Kaya spread her fingers against each other as she raised her gaze heavenward. "You mean the brilliant young man who got lost on his way to the north shore because he thought he was supposed to head in the direction that felt coldest, yes?"

Merry chuckled… well, sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head. "Point taken, m'lady: Faith with a grain of salt."

"A lot of salt!"

"A big pile of it!"

"The whole shaker!"

Both mistress and servant looked to the window to see the Veggie Trio perched on Usopp's old branch outside.

"One day I'm going to pour syrup on that branch, just to see how you three react…" Merry mused thoughtfully.

"One day!" Pepper laughed.

"But not today!" Carrot snickered.

"Now c'mon, c'mon! Pick up already!" Onion whined.

"Patience, boys," Merry chuckled, removing the receiver from the snail. The sounds that came out removed what tension remained among them; it was easy to pick out the sounds of a party going on in the background.

"—take one down, pass it around, no more bottles of rum on the wall! So, how many of you believe that I actually made it all the way down from a thousand bottles?"

The occupants of the room all glanced at each other.

"No way he did that," Onion finally said. "It'd take him, like, five hours to do that! Even Cross wouldn't talk for five hours straight."

"Well, I don't know about that…" Merry hedged. "Jeremiah Cross does love to talk. But I do agree that singing down from a thousand bottles is unlikely."

"Also, how did you get to five hours, Onion?" Kaya asked.

The boy immediately flushed, not-so-surreptitiously glancing towards his buddies. "W-Well, I saw how long it takes to count to a thousand in a book somewhere—"

"Neeeeeerd!"

"—a-and then I timed one of the verses and did a little math—"

"Neeeeeerd!"

"Well, the answer should be obvious, but for now?" Cross grinned cockily, saving Onion from further embarrassment. "We have more important matters to attend to—WHAAAH!" Suddenly, the feed was overwhelmed by a choked squawk. "WHAT ARMMPH!" This was followed by the snail the pirate was talking to gagging on its own tongue.

"RISKIES! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU—mmph?!"

"Got them both gagged!" a foreign voice cackled impishly. "Rolling Pirates, altogether now!"

"START THE SBS!"

"GAAAH!" Cross bellowed, veins bulging on the snail by proxy. "I'M GETTING FREAKING SICK OF PEOPLE DOING THAT TO ME!"

"GET BACK HERE, YOU TWO! TAKE YOUR BEATINGS LIKE MEN!"

"They're gonna get it!" the ex-Usopp pirates sang, Kaya and Merry snickering in agreement.

"Alright, fine. You want to play hard to get? FUNKFREED, PACHY-RIOT!"

The laughter cut off into somewhat confused awe when the snail started transmitting the noise of a lot of rushing, cannoning water all at once.

"…Oh, dear," the five said together.

-o-

"Huh, so Moria actually kicked it?" Charlotte Pudding mused to herself as she stirred a bowlful of chocolate. For the most part, listening to the SBS was just background noise while she laid foundation for a new building she was planning to add to Cacao Island. "Sheesh, and after Crocodile went down, too? Either the Straw Hats are really just that strong… oooor the Paradise Warlords are just a bunch of weak bitches, and Hancock doesn't count because she's in the Calm Belt." She glanced over at her personal homies. "What do you guys think?"

Nitro and Rabiyan glanced at one another, and the returned to grinning blankly at their mistress.

"Little bit of both?" Pudding nodded. "Yeah, you're right, probably a bit of both."