5/9

"SO!" Cross barked, taking a step back from the Amigos. "I'm going to tell you this once, and only once, before I get madder than I already am: do the smart thing. Forget you ever heard about that beetle…"

Out of the blue, Cross lashed his left arm out, slamming his fist into a nearby tree—

SMASH!

And causing everyone nearby to jump when the bark splintered readily, creating a wide crater that was almost deep enough to compromise the tree's stability.

"And get the hell off this island," Cross finished coldly. "Before I throw your ass off it."

The Amigo Pirates all glowered ferociously. Corto especially looked to be supremely ticked off, and so close to taking a swing at Cross. But in a show of restraint atypical for people his build, the large pirate's only response was a derisive snort before he spun on his heel and marched off. His underlings glanced between him and Cross for a moment before electing it better to follow their First Mate's lead than take their chances with the Straw Hat.

A minute after the last of them had disappeared into the tree line, Cross spoke again. "Soundbite, warn the rest of the crew. The first mate looked to have half a brain, but if a captain who's so cocky he doesn't lead from the front doesn't come back to try a better assault, I'll eat a biscuit."

"YUCK," Soundbite gagged.

"Oh, yeah, and you should probably warn the village, too."

"…was that last part to me?"

Yoko stiffened.

"Nah…" Cross nonchalantly replied, to the point of digging a finger into his ear. "That last part was to the person who failed to consider that listening to the SBS would give knowledge about our fighting abilities." He then glanced straight towards Yoko and her hiding spot. "Like, say, the fact that Soundbite can hear everything that goes on within a one-mile radius, even if it's no louder than a heartbeat?"

Yoko abruptly remembered that all of those animals had been talking throughout her vigil, which she knew was the snail's doing…

"Or the fact that I could smell her a few meters away?" the dog-cannon added.

A dog-cannon. A dog… and of course it would have the nose of a freaking bloodhound!

"You're really not good at the whole clandestine thing, are you?" the sword finished flatly.

Her face red as a brick, Yoko finally hit her limit for how much bullshit she could handle, turning on her heel and bolting for the town, heedless of any attempt at stealth.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Cross grimaced at his primary partner. "IIII'm gonna guess that that all could have sounded better?"

"Liiiiiittle bit, yeah," Soundbite snarked. He then glanced aside. "BUT, MOVING ON FROM THAT…" The snail flicked his eyestalks at the mutilated tree. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

Cross dismissed Yoko as well in favor of ghosting his fingers over the crater he'd made in the tree. "Me acting out a hunch that I'm actually surprised paid off…"

"OKAY, LEMME TRY AGAIN: since WHEN could you do that?"

"If my hunch is right?" Cross grinned eagerly as he turned and started to walk back towards Little East Blue. "Probably for awhile now."

-o-

The mood inside the Xibalba was at once impatient and reluctant.

On the one hand, Captain Largo was still enjoying his siesta, and everyone had had the consequences of interrupting said siesta thoroughly impressed upon them long ago, which left them waiting for him to wake up on his own. On the other hand, they weren't exactly delivering good news, either, and every instant that they lingered on the island's shores after being told, explicitly at that, to get the hell out by one of the last crews anyone on the Grand Line wanted to piss off was an instant closer to them all getting their asses kicked seven ways from Sunday.

So great was their trepidation that Corto was actually entertaining the idea of suffering his brother's wrath if it meant they got off the island sooner, but the decision was taken out of his hands when Largo's snoring suddenly snapped off in a harsh snort.

For a full minute, the inside of the Xibalba was frozen, nobody breathing, nobody even twitching.

And then every one of the Amigo Pirates save for one flinched, as that 'one' lifted his head just enough for a single eye to glare out from under his sombrero at the person who acted as his First Mate.

"I believe," Largo intoned. "I told you… to go out and get me that beetle. And that unless you had a love for pain, you had better not even consider the idea of returning without it. This leaves two options. Either that beetle is both invisible and utterly silent, in which case mis disculpas… or you are just itching for me to introduce you to a whole new world of agony. So. Tell me."

Shivers wracked the pirates as Largo slowly rose from his resting position, looming over his brother and towering over the rest, and gave him a lazy yet no less lethal glare.

"Which is it," he inquired frigidly.

It was a credit to Corto that he managed to refrain from dying on the spot of heart failure, or even show terror to his older and seriously dangerous brother. Instead, he swallowed minutely (both saliva and his nerves) and met his brother's gaze. "We have a problem. Recovering the beetle has been rendered impossible."

"This had better be the best explanation of your life," Largo sneered.

The heavyset luchador swallowed uncomfortably, still looking his brother in the eye even as his mask became increasingly muggy. "We are landed," he whispered in a hoarse tone. "Directly beside the Mil Soleado."

Those words actually got Largo to pause, and it was to the Amigos' immense relief that their captain slowly sank into a sitting position on his bed. "The Straw Hat Pirates," he confirmed. "You're sure."

Corto nodded with almost frantic desperation. "Completamente! I spoke with Jeremiah Cross himself, and he made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that we weren't welcome on this island! The beetle is here, sí, but the Straw Hats are protecting it! And before you say it, sí, I could have absolutamente punched the little weasel's head off his shoulders, but then I'd have gotten the whole crew down on our heads! I might be afraid of failing our employers, and I might be terrified of failing you, hermano… but one thing I absolutely am not is estupido enough to anger the pirates who invaded Enies Lobby and lived to tell of it!"

By the end of his diatribe, Corto was panting and staring at his brother in outright terror, silently begging him, begging him, to do the right thing, and for once, let them just walk away.

And for a few glorious seconds, as Largo was thoughtfully silent, Corto felt hope that that would happen.

Finally, Largo spoke. "You are right about one thing, hermano… To tangle with the Straw Hats is to court disaster."

Corto let the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding slowly leak out of his nostrils, relief flooding his being.

"But."

And just like that, all that hope and relief turned to dread and bile.

Largo slowly rose from his bed and cast his gaze out over his crew. "We will go through with our mission nevertheless."

Terror overrode his survival instinct—or more accurately, half his survival instinct drop-kicked the other half—and Corto did the unthinkable and grasped his brother's shoulders to shake him furiously. "¿Estás completamente loco? I repeat! Straw Hats! Enies Lobby! We have one Devil Fruit, yours, and not only do they have almost half a dozen of their own, but their unpowered members have managed to take out almost a dozen total ability users on their own! They will chew us up and spit us out before you can even ask '¿Quieres leche con tu horchata?'! Hermano, I respect you and I fear you, and I will die for you… but not like this, man! Not like��"

"Corto."

The larger pirate froze under his older brother's half-lidded stare. It was a stare that he'd seen many times as they'd grown up together and had thankfully seen less and less as the years had gone by. It was a stare that screamed—

"Are you done?"

Yeah, that, only a lot less politely.

"I… think so?" Corto hesitantly squeaked, before reasoning that yes, he was indeed done. "Yeah, I'm done."

"Thank you," Largo deadpanned. "Now, you all listen to me, and you all listen good."

Every last sombrero-clad man nodded, facing their captain with complete and terrified attention. Largo graced them with a flat gaze before he spoke again.

"The Straw Hats are strong. Stronger than most crews, and undoubtedly stronger than us. I acknowledge this, sí. They are also insane, insanely lucky, and all around some of the most dangerous pendejos to sail the Grand Line. This too, I acknowledge…" Largo nodded slowly, before giving them all a chilling glare. "But you all must acknowledge this: that if there is one man who the Straw Hats are not stronger than, it is the man whose patronage we seek. Whose favor we have garnered."

The tall bandito started to pace back and forth. "That man is not merely a New World veteran. He was a contemporary, a rival, of the Pirate King, Gold Roger. He was feared by Marines and Pirates alike the world over, and he clawed his way out of the blackest pits of Impel Down itself, a feat never accomplished before, or after. That man…" Largo let loose a grim chuckle. "He is, without a doubt in my mind, the single strongest human being in all of Paraíso. And we are working with him. Do you truly believe that rookies like the Straw Hats, no matter how strong, can stand up to him?"

"Yeah, sure, they'd fall before him of course, hermano!" Corto agreed before grimacing as he tugged at the collar of his poncho. "But we aren't him! We're just… us!"

"Sí, sí, we're us…" Largo grinned venomously as he jabbed a thumb to his side, indicating a crate stored in the corner of the room. "And in case your memory fails you, we have in our possession the trump card our benefactor left us. A means through which our victory shall be confirmed. In light of this detail… do you still think we have any chances of defeat?"

Corto looked aside, thinking furiously. A good amount of the crew's fear melted away in favor of confusion and amplified respect for their captain. There were some, however, who were still nervous.

"Ah, but of course…" Largo spoke up again, apparently noticing the hesitation. "I am not without mercy. Should anyone still harbor any doubts as to the chances of our victory, feel free to speak up, and I shall hear you out as I would any other."

A moment of silence, and then…

"Ah, w-well—!"

BANG!

A mariachi-themed pirate in the back of the room crumpled with a cry of pain as a ball of lead tore through his knee. Nobody saw this on account of the fact that all eyes in the room were glued to the pistol that Largo had drawn and fired near-instantly.

"Anyone else?" he queried, his voice cool enough to give a polar bear frostbite.

Dead silence.

The man spun his gun back into its holster.

"Didn't think so."

-o-

Yoko's breath came in ragged gasps as she sprinted back into town. She had to warn them all… not just about the Straw Hats and their nefarious plans, but also the far more imminent threat of these new poncho guys.

It was disappointingly easy for her to locate the mayor, considering that he was in the village helping set up a party to celebrate the presence of the Straw Hats. Well, she'd see to it that that didn't last. She quickly came up to the portly man, and spent a few moments catching her breath.

"Yoko?" Fabre asked in confusion. "What's wrong?"

What the girl tried to say was something along the lines of, "I've got proof the Straw Hats are actually hostile, and there's another pirate crew that's trying to kidnap Boss!" What actually came out on account of her lack of breath was "Proof-Straw-host-pirate-kidnap-Boss!"

The town's mayor blinked in surprise before slowly heaving out a sigh as he brought a hand up to massage the bridge of his nose. "Yoko, I know you don't like them, but I thought the Straw Hats made it very clear that they have no intentions on kidnapping—!"

"Not the Straw Hats, someone else!" Yoko snapped, oxygen finally refueling her lungs. "The Straw Hats are evil pirates, but there are other pirates that just came to the island looking for Boss!"

Fabre's relaxed demeanor vanished in an instant. For a brief moment, he looked panicked, before covering it up by attacking his pipe. "Blast it all… they just had to show up when he began molting."

Any thoughts Yoko might've had of a continued rant fled once she processed that statement. "Wh-What? But that wasn't supposed to be for—!"

"Dooon't worry about it."

'I… am getting very tired of all this mood whiplash,' was the incongruous thought Yoko had as that voice brought her anger back to life at full cylinders. Spinning around, she glared bloody murder at Jeremiah Cross as he approached, weapons crossed on his back and a casual grin on his face.

"There's a pirate crew coming up, sure, and they look to be utter bastards, sure," the pirate continued, waving his hand dismissively. "But we'll handle them. Although…" He then gave Yoko a flat look. "I'm guessing none of that is going to make you hate us any less, am I right?"

Yoko initially confirmed the accusation in a nonverbal manner by flushing furiously and sputtering. It took a moment for the actual words to come out. "You… You bastard! Idiot! Murdering, bloodthirsty… shiitake!" Admittedly, her true feelings were a bit garbled due to her not having even hit puberty yet, but at least she was trying.

Cross blinked before slowly tilting his head in confusion. "I'm… a homicidal mushroom that's delicious with noodles?" he asked in honest, bemused confusion.

"Never call someone a word you don't understand, KID. That's Insults 201," Soundbite helpfully informed the Marine child.

"What, it's not 101?"

"NUH-UH!" Soundbite shook his head with a shit-eating grin. "101 DEALS WITH sentence structure, run-on sentences and the like. I COULD GET YOU A COURSE CATALOG IF YOU—?"

"WILL YOU TWO BE FUCKING SERIOUS FOR ONE SECOND!?" Yoko practically screamed, several veins bulging in cross patterns on her brow.

"Language, young lady," the pair deadpanned at her, before breaking down into uncontrolled snickers. "Nah, we're just fucking with you," Cross chuckled.

Fuming impotently, Yoko whirled around to glare up at Fabre. Her mood did not improve when she saw that he too was muffling chuckles. "Mayor Fabre," she grit out. "I have evidence of the fact that the Straw Hats are no less the same scum than every other pirate alive! They are not good people because good pirates don't exist!"

Fabre's good cheer evaporated at the announcement. "Yoko…"

"And she decides to tell him this in front of the very pirates she's denouncing?" Soundbite stage whispered to his partner.

Cross could only shrug in response. "It's probably desperation. She's not thinking straight and all that, you know?"

"Fair point. YOU'VE DONE SOME STUPID THINGS YOURSELF."

"I choose to take that as a compliment."

"EVIDENCE!" Yoko furiously repeated in an effort to retrieve the attention she'd lost, jabbing her notepad at Fabre, who eyed the paper with no small amount of dread. "Evidence, right here, that every last one of these pirates is up to absolutely no good!" She flipped the pad open to the first page. "My first piece of evidence, pertaining to their Captain, is that he was—!"

"Surveying the local geography for more efficient pillaging."

"Surveying the—Wha?!" Yoko boggled at Cross in shock when he answered before she could.

"Don't worry, you're not that predictable," the pirate assured her with an impish grin.

"But you ARE kinda careless!" his snail snickered.

"Soundbite was listening in on you talking out loud while you were writing," Lassoo informed her. "Don't take offense, he does it to all of us."

"Th-This just proves my point!" Yoko jabbed a finger at the uniquely packed quartet. "They're not denying my point, they—!"

"Actually, I am denying your point, based on a supremely relevant fact that renders your suppositions null and void." Cross smirked as he folded his arms behind his head. "It's simple enough: Luffy doesn't know how to pronounce even half the words you had written down on that page, much less their meanings."

The girl swore she pulled something with how hard her eyelid twitched. "You're telling me," she grit out. "That your excuse is that your captain is too stupid to be evil!?"

"It's a good excuse!" Cross protested with almost honestly affronted indignation.

"Er… one that I can confirm," Fabre cut in, weathering the betrayed look she gave him. "Straw Hat Luffy has a good heart and a healthy appetite, but I wouldn't exactly call him… ah, well…"

"To reiterate: the excuse that Luffy's too stupid to do something is a valid excuse," Cross said.

The eye-twitching intensified. "They. Are. Pirates. You can't believe anything they say!" Yoko snapped.

"We're not here to cause trouble," Cross droned.

"YES, YOU ARE!"

"We've never killed ANYONE," Soundbite added.

"LIKE I BELIEVE THAT!"

"Your name is Yoko," Funkfreed piped up.

"NO, IT'S NOT!" Yoko roared, before grimacing and slapping a hand to her face. "Dang it."

"Yoko, you really need to try listening a little more," Fabre pleaded.

"No, you need to listen to me!" Yoko protested, rapping her finger on her pad. "He might have an excuse for that instance of his captain's actions, but I have dozens of pieces of evidence! He can't explain them all!"

"Oh, you would be surprised," Cross hummed pleasantly, his mouth never shifting from the smirk that had been there the whole conversation.

Sighing, Fabre gave his town's guest a long-suffering look. "I am so sorry," he apologized.

"Don't be, I'm having the time of my life!" Cross laughed, waving his hand in a gesture that was both dismissive and good-natured. "Trust me, I've heard worse, and once this is all over, it'll be good for a laugh."

"You won't be laughing once I'm done with you!" Yoko swore, flipping to the next page in her pad. "Second instance of nefarious wrongdoings!"

And so it went: Yoko ran down her list of dastardly deeds and nascent plans of varying levels of notoriety…

"The smelly blubber-butt faker that calls itself Boss has been denuding the island!"

"You're planning on poaching the Unusual Animals!"

"Your captain's eating all our food and that… that skeleton is using his music to control people's minds!"

And every time, Cross and his compatriots had answer after answer to reply with, all delivered with varying but invariably elevated levels of teasing snark.

"It's called a training exercise. Maybe you've heard of them? If this boggles you, know that normal people split mere bricks for training. It's just that Boss—Boss Dugong, I mean—has higher standards than most when it comes to his strength."

"Yeah, because we haven't seen way more unusual animals during our journey. Oh wait. Hwee hwee hwee!"

"TRUST ME, that's nothing new. Luffy tries to eat everything he can get his teeth on. BUT, AH, WE ARE GOOD FOR IT, just to clarify. AND AS FOR BROOK… huh, interesting trivia. He says he was helping that cook, Mitsuboshi, keep pace with Sanji. Apparently it's an old trick used by SHIP'S MUSICIANS THE WORLD OVER!"

Suffice to say that by the time Yoko had reached the bottom of her list, she had truly bypassed 'infuriated'… and was more than a little desperate, to boot.

"Mrgrggh…" Yoko grumbled furiously as she flipped to another page in her book. "T-T-Then what aboooout… ah, the sniper, the cyborg and the girl!?" The glare this time was challenging. "They're building—well, they built a mansion for Miss Luigia! They're obviously trying to wile their way into her will so that they can steal her fortune! What do you have to say to that!?"

That actually got a change of expression out of Cross. He boggled at the girl for a moment before slowly exchanging wide-eyed looks with his snail. "I… am honestly stumped," he admitted in a blank tone. "Congratulations on accomplishing that. Seriously, I… am kind of at a loss for how to respond."

"That's where we differ…" Fabre groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yoko, up until today, Luigia lived in a shack that had a mock-up of a mansion nailed to it. You acknowledge that, yes?"

"Uh… yeah, why?" Yoko nodded in confusion, pointedly ignoring Cross's outburst of "Wait, we've met two loonies with the same delusion!?"

"Great. So tell me this!" Fabre swept his hands out in frustration. "What fortune!?"

Yoko sucked in a breath to respond as she raised a finger… then bent her finger and let out a choked gurgle as that one week the old woman had eaten nothing but miso soup forced its way into her conscious mind. "Gugh…"

"Yoko," Fabre said kindly, kneeling before the girl and grasping her shoulders in his large hands. "I understand your pain; I knew your father well, and I miss him, too. And I will admit without reservation that most pirates are the same kind of monsters that took him from us. Even the Straw Hats admit it!"

"True that; we're an exception, not the norm, and we know it," Cross piped up, and his voice was no longer playful.

"But even so!" Fabre forged on. "You cannot continue denying the truth! The truth that we have all accepted, that the world itself has accepted!" The mayor pointed at the pirate. "The Straw Hats are not just good pirates, they're good people. Yoko, please, I am begging you… enough is enough. Just in this one instance, for this one crew… please, see reason and acknowledge that these are the last people in the world that we need to be protected from! For your own sake, if nothing else!"

A tense silence fell over the small gathering, everyone's breath held in tense anticipation of the girl's answer.

Finally, with tears welling in her eyes, Yoko gave a dry sniffle and began to shake. "Dad… Dad would never forgive me if I collaborated with criminals," she whispered as tears slowly dripped down her cheeks. "It… It goes a-against everything the Marines stand for."

For a long moment, Cross just looked at her, apparently considering something, before glancing up at Fabre, expression questioning. Once the older man nodded hesitantly, he spoke.

"Yoko, you need to understand that when you heard my broadcast, you heard it out of context," Cross gently stated. "I wasn't talking about how the Marines are corrupt, I was talking about how there is corruption in the Marines. Being a Marine doesn't automatically make someone good, even if it should… just like being a pirate doesn't automatically make someone bad, even if it should. Underneath the black and white, we're still human." When he saw how Yoko was considering a response, but also that she looked thoughtful instead of hostile, he pre-empted the words. "Consider: Would your father want you to carry on with this vendetta, or would he want you to reconsider in the face of evidence?"

Okay, now the attention was hostile. "You never knew my father," she spat with surprising venom. "So don't you dare say you—!"

"No, I didn't know your father," Cross cut in. "But I do know Marines like him, Marines who would sacrifice everything for the sake of the ones they swore to protect, for the sake of the spirit of their oaths, not just the word. And I know that all of them would tell you to think, not blindly follow. That's all I want you to do: listen to what your eyes and ears are telling you, and draw your own conclusions."

Yoko's body shuddered as her gaze fell to the ground, indecision and hesitation literally wracking her body. Finally, she looked up at Cross, and he was gratified to see a glint of reason in her eyes, but he could only wince at the far more prominent haze of deep-seated pain that clouded her gaze. "Even if what you say about the Marines is true," she whispered harshly, tears gleaming in her eyes. "I will never trust a pirate."

A swift chomp on his cheek silenced an aggravated grumble, and instead Cross settled for a conciliatory waving of his hands. "Mah mah, that's fine," he chuckled tightly, barely masking the disappointment in his voice. "I'm pretty sure you'll be singing a different tune when we cast off to leave. Everyone does. But for now, you're entitled to whatever you want to think."

Yoko… didn't respond to that. Couldn't, really, and as a result an uncomfortable silence settled onto the small group.

Thankfully, Fabre was unburdened with any serious thoughts, and thus quickly clapped his hands to break the silence. "I!" he announced in an almost grandiose tone. "Have just realized that I am famished, and I'm almost completely certain that neither of you two have had much to eat all day, either. And if there is one thing that I've learned in my meager career as a politician, it's that talking about important matters on an empty stomach is an idea that's destined for disaster. What say we all go to the Mini-Baratie and treat ourselves to what little Luffy hasn't gorged himself upon, hm?"

Yoko twitched slightly at that, but wiped her eyes clear with a petulant grumble. "Food's always your answer to everything… 'ts why you're so… big."

Fabre let out a jolly chuckle as he patted the girl on the back and slowly led her towards the island's premiere restaurant. "Yes, I suppose that's true, isn't it? But if anything, I'd like to think that my girth is a testament to my success rate! And as such, I take pride in it!"

"Eh, makes sense to me," Cross commented, his arms folded behind his head as he walked alongside the two. "I mean, I've been on over a dozen islands and I've certainly seen and heard people take pride in weirder things."

"Heheh, if that ain't the damn truth!" Soundbite chortled in agreement with his partner in prime. "SERIOUSLY, THIS ONE TIME—!"