5/6

Right on cue and interrupting Apis, we all turned to see Nami standing by the Sunny's railing, looking over at the cow in shock.

Said cow wasn't doing much better, head half underwater as he loosed a warbling, mournful moo.

"Huh?" Apis said, looking concerned. "What's he apologizing for? Mohmoo, what—?"

"Right before I joined the crew," I forced out, glancing aside with a grimace. "Luffy earned his first bounty by defeating 'Saw-Tooth' Arlong, a fishman pirate who had taken over an archipelago in the East Blue. Mohmoo was under his command, and while I'm pretty sure it was either not by his choice or he didn't know any better, Mohmoo was still involved in a lot of carnage. He… He hurt a lot of people."

Mohmoo moo'd again, and from the way he was nodding his head, it wasn't anything to refute my words.

Apis looked conflicted as she looked between us, Mohmoo, and Nami. The navigator was still looking at Mohmoo, more from shock and surprise than anything.

"I don't know about Luffy and Sanji, but Mohmoo definitely owed Nami an apology for what happened last time," I concluded.

I took the glare Nami shot my way on the chin. "I can speak for myself, thank you very much, Cross," she bit out. That done, she turned back to Mohmoo, gaze softening. "And what I want to say… is that I can already tell Mohmoo's sorry enough for what he did. I've put what happened back then behind me. I can forgive him, especially for crimes that weren't his."

I gracefully hid my flinch at Nami's words, and instead focused on… well, Apis focusing on whatever Mohmoo was saying. She then nodded and addressed Nami. "Mohmoo says that he's really sorry for what he did, and that he'll try and do whatever he can to make it up to you."

For a few tense seconds, Nami stared at the sea cow before nodding slowly, and even cracking a small smile. "Good enough."

Mohmoo closed his eyes in grateful relief before sinking back below the surface.

"…So, we can't eat him?"

OK, now Nami looked peeved. "Sanji?"

"Coming up, Nami-swan," the chef sighed, a well-placed boot upside our captain's ass sent Luffy flying straight back to the Sunny and into the tender (HA!) mercies of Nami's Eisen Tempo.

I stared after our captain for a second before tilting my head contemplatively. "Ya know," I mused to myself. "I only just realized, I came on to this ship for something completely different and I just got swept up in all this madness." I tilted my head even further. "Now, what the heck was it…?"

"Assassins at 5 o'clock," Soundbite flatly announced.

"RIGHT!" I barked, spinning on my heel and schooling my expression as I came face-to-face with 5 and Valentine's smirking forms.

"Gotta admit, Cross: you really are scary when you're mad," Mr. 5 said. "Last time I saw that cold an expression, it was on Mr. 1."

"But now that you've had your revenge, it's only fair that we get ours, too," Valentine chirped acridly, somehow making the act of spinning her parasol menacing. "Just a few weeks in traction to make up for all the hell you put us through on Little Garden and killing our chances at a quiet retirement—"

Valentine froze when a breeze brushed along her neck and resolved into a slender hand, a face that was the picture of serenity coalescing behind her shoulder in the next moment.

"Now, I'm sure I misheard you, Valentine," Vivi crooned, her fingers flexing tightly on the assassin's throat. "You couldn't have just said that you were upset about my family and my kingdom retaliating for the farce that got me my bounty just because it made you more likely to be arrested for… what was it? Ah, yes, attempting to destroy my country?"

"N-Nothing of the sort, Miss Wed—GRK! P-P-Princess Nefertari Vivi!" Valentine said in a voice higher-pitched than Chopper's as Vivi pinched down on her windpipe.

"Good," Vivi intoned. "Because otherwise, I would have had to take my very justified revenge. I'd suggest you keep giving me reason to put it off. Now, if you'll excuse me—" Vivi's once-serene face turned fearful with impressive speed. "I can't let Robin find me."

And the wind-woman dissipated, leaving us standing around in gape-mouthed astonishment. I took advantage of the pause to retrieve a pack I had brought onboard for this exact reason.

"Now, I do understand your grudge," I said, rummaging in the pack. "So, if I'm going to have you not wring my neck, you'll need some… incentive." Pulling out a bundle colored black, gold, and bright red, I handed it over to 5. "For you, a highly durable fireman's outfit." Reaching back into the pack, I pulled out a covered platter. "And for you, Valentine, some gourmet chocolate." A sheet of paper joined the platter. "The recipe, too."

Valentine took the platter, eyeing it suspiciously, and glanced over to her partner. He had pulled out the jacket of the outfit and slipped it on, and to her eyes it looked just a bit small. Small enough that it was likely his usual coat underneath that was causing the problem. Still eyeing it suspiciously, she peeled back the cover. Looked like chocolate. She picked one up. Felt like chocolate. A sniff. Smelled like chocolate. She popped it in her mouth.

Bliss.

"Oh, my God, this is the best chocolate I've ever tasted…" she moaned, swaying on her feet as she all but melted.

"And this jacket is a perfect fit," 5 added, actually emoting as he flexed and admired his own profile.

They glanced at each other, something passing between them.

WHAM!

Aaand then I doubled over as two powerful fists rammed square into my gut.

"Now we're even," the assassins gloated together.

"Yeah, I'll take it…" I woofed out, staggering in an attempt to stay on my feet.

"But you're not off the hook yet!" Valentine interjected, crossing her arms and straightening her back so that she was looming over me… kinda.

"Eh, he is with me," 5 said, having already turned to walk away. "You wanna go down this rabbit hole, that's your problem. Me? I'm good. See ya." Waving his hand over his shoulder, he ambled off.

Valentine glowered after him before focusing on me. "Alright, Cross, if we're going to be stuck together for who knows how long, then you're going to talk. How do you know so much stuff that you clearly shouldn't?!" She leaned in and stared me right in the eye. "How?"

I blinked at the reaction. "…you really want to know?" I slowly allowed myself to don a taunting smirk, and I relished how that alone put her on the back foot. "Alright, fine. I'll tell you." I stepped back and crossed my arm behind my back as I wistfully glanced skyward. "It all started fifty years ago to… no, wait, a week ago, fifty years a week ago."

-o-

[GRAH! DAMNED WORTHLESS FEATHER-RAT PIECES OF—!]

Unheard even to Soundbite, invective flowed in a steady stream from Su's mouth as she bashed her head against the walls of one of the few places on the Sunny that was soundproof. Her request on Thriller Bark had been fulfilled, and quickly. The News Coo network had pieced together a description that said where to find the Children of Inari, and consequently the power she needed to stand with the rest of the Straw Hats.

And this was frustrating to the cloud fox because, as she really should have expected from her smart-alecky species, it wasn't straightforward in the least. Not only was it in the form of a riddle, said riddle even lacked the basic decency to be written in only one language!

[Oh, suuuuuch a clear message!" Su snarled to herself. ['Delve unto the heart of the Eternal Firstborn, and there shall the pilgrim find their destination: Cradle of the Children of Inari and Grave of Blessed Tamamo, Kitsune ni Mitsukerareru Kakure!' GAAAAH!] Screaming wordlessly, the cloud fox smacked her head against the bulkhead. [Damn the yokai foxes of Wano and damn their moonspeak! 'Oh, we think it means Village That Can Be Found by a Fox', yeah, no shit, Coo! If these are instructions for a pilgrimage, then shouldn't they be fucking clear!?]

Rolling from back to front to back to front, furiously scratching her head, the fox continued ranting out of sight and earshot of anyone who could have detected her. [That SIQ boost'll help me bounce heads, but is that enough? NO! If I can't reshape geography at this point, the best I can do is run, hide, and support from behind the front lines! I want to be the one who makes people run! I want to be stronger! I want to be useful! Is that too much to ask? DAMN IT ALL RIGHT TO—!]

CLUNK!

"GWAH!" Su yelped as the tunnel suddenly opened up beneath her, dropping her into the open air and also back into range of Soundbite's auditory capabilities. The cloud fox hastily flexed her limber muscles, trying to spin her torso to land with grace. But much to her surprise, rather than the leg-rattling impact with the floor she anticipated, she landed much sooner than she'd expected, and much higher up too.

And on a… broad platform…

"Hey, Franky," Su smirked in her cockiest voice, raising her paw in a salute. "Thanks for the catch."

"Heh, no problem," Franky nodded back, tossing the fox onto the clearest table in the factory. "Lemme guess, Little Sis's tunnels aren't as stable as she thinks?"

"Eh," the fox shrugged indifferently. "Nah, I think the problem is I stepped on a latch-trigger by accident. These things happen. But enough about who was snooping through which pantry looking for a snack." She glanced around the workshop. "What about you, tin can? What brings you belowdecks?"

"You really wanna know? C'mere, c'mere, I'll show ya!" he said eagerly, turning towards one of the nearby workbenches. Su promptly hopped across the tables to clamber onto the larger pirate's shoulder.

Su expected some kind of a weapon on the table, a gadget, a gizmo, but instead, to her surprise, sitting there was a living, breathing Transponder Snail, there in the mucus and shell. Or, well, half a shell, given how the thing's rig was splayed out on the table. But, more surprisingly than that, she didn't recognize it as one of the three that were supposed to be on the ship.

"Is…?" Su sniffed the air. "Is she one of the Barto's?"

"Nope," Franky answered. "She's actually ours. Meet our newest snail, who I nabbed from the clutches of Shiki's palace! Cross and Soundbite named her Gif, and she took to it." He waved at the gastropod. "Say hi, Gif!"

The snail smiled and waved her eyestalk cheerily in response. "( ﾟ▽ﾟ)/"

Su blinked in surprise. "Eh? What the-? Hey, Soundbite, how come you're not translating for your cuz?"

"'Cause she's my cuz in more ways than you think!" Soundbite informed her from the next ship over. "FUN FACT FOR YA: VID SNAILS DON'T HAVE a vocal language!"

Su's tail shot out in shock. "Vid—? You mean that this new slimeball is a Visual Transponder Snail!?"

"(￣^￣)ゞ" Gif's eyestalk saluted in confirmation.

"RIGHT ON THE MONEY!" Soundbite agreed. "Gif's my opposite, all about the eyes. AND WHERE HER SPECIES IS CONCERNED, IT'S ALL ABOUT FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. I can't translate because there's jack-all for me TO translate, but she gets the point across well enough. AIN'T THAT RIGHT, LOOKY-LOO?"

"(｡◝‿◜｡)" the snail beamed.

"And that's not all! FRANKY, WHAT'S TONIGHT'S FEATURED PRIZE?"

"Oh, only adding a SUPER amount of insult to all the injuries we already gave Shiki," the cyborg grinned in a way that Su hadn't seen since Enies. "Cross and Soundbite have already worked out the way Shiki bounced video feeds from snail to snail: the transceiver can hook up to more than one snail at once, but it's up to the first one to connect if anyone else gets in, so Gif just kept reaching out to the right snails and sending their feeds instead of hers. But, with Soundbite and Gif running two specialties at once, and Shiki's worldwide delivery of all those visual snails—"

"He just set the stage to upgrade the SBS to be aural and visual from now on?" Su finished, gaping.

"BINGO!" Soundbite cheered.

"(o✪‿✪o)ｼ" Gif's eyes glimmered in agreement.

"AND WITH WHAT WE GOT THE SUPER—!"

The cyborg snapped into his trademark pose. "SUPER!"

"IRON MAN working on, ohohohooooh," the verbal snail trailed off into a malevolent chuckle. "Oh, and make sure SANJI doesn't find out. NO WAY IN HELL IS HE DITCHING HIS POSTER WHILE I CAN HELP IT! Ain't that right, sistah from another shell?"

"＼(^O^ )＞*" said sister saluted in agreement.

"You are so mean," Su snickered behind her paw.

Said paw then hid her muzzle as it dropped into a frown. 'And tenacious,' she morosely thought to herself. 'And determined. And you refuse to let yourself be squashed…'

The cloud fox's hackles split in a snarl. 'And I swear… I swear, to Blessed Tamamo, to Inari themself… I will come far enough to stand at your side!"

-o-

"…And so, while the Civil War didn't start out over slavery, Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation made it about slavery. Make sense?" I concluded.

"Hm… yeah, when you put it that way, I understand perfectly," Valentine nodded in complete understanding before popping up her finger. "Just one question, however…" The assassin's expression twisted in aggravation. "WHAT DID ANY OF THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR UNHOLY KNOWLEDGE?!"

I blinked and stared at her in the picture-perfect image of obliviousness. "Oh, jack all, I was just jabbering random nonsense. What on earth made you think any of that had anything to do with my knowing that you dream of being a chocolatier one day?"

"√¡$∂£X¥œ¡γ¿∫=ƒ‰£ç∞¢ç∫ߥ!"

Valentine's response was… less than coherent.

"If it's any consolation?" my personal parasite blandly piped up. "From the sound of things, THIS MORON FAILED HISTORY CLASS."

I snapped a glare at the mucus stain. "I've been away from home for nearly a year, I'm just happy I got even some of the names right!"

Incoherent outburst over, Valentine settled for just glowering at us, and I schooled my expression into a more serious one.

"Dropping the joking, the real explanation is going to be even more taxing on your sanity than what I just did, and I'm not planning to spread it beyond my crew, the leaders of the Masons, and their most trusted allies." I jabbed my thumb towards the last place I'd seen the other captain Supernova. "If Barty wants to tell you, fine. But you of all people should understand discretion; you're still not even using your real name."

Valentine's eyes narrowed briefly. Then, just as quickly, she schooled her expression into a pleasant smile. "Alright, Cross, I can't argue with that. I'll keep what little sanity I've got left and I'll bug Barty if I decide I need to know. Thanks for the chocolate."

And with that, she walked away. I blinked in surprise and glanced at Soundbite, who was even more surprised.

"SHE WAS SINCERE," the snail explained. "They're not usually that understanding."

I shrugged and began making my way back toward the Sunny. "I guess it was gonna happen sooner or later."

While I walked back, though, I caught sight of Bartolomeo himself hobbling onto the deck, his arms mummified in slings, plaster and bandages, while a crescent-shaped barrier behind his shoulders formed an arm of translucent energy at either end.

"Doing alright, Barty?" I asked, coming to a stop as I looked him over.

"Yeah," he grunted, flinching as he accidentally tried to shift his real arms and instead used the left-hand side of his barrier-substitutes to scratch at his jaw. "Probably gonna be using my powers as a literal crutch for a month or two, but nothing I can't handle. Marines back home hit harder than that gilded asshole."

I smiled and nodded proudly. "Good to hear. Thanks for everything; we and the entire East Blue owe you big time."

Bartolomeo's head bowed, shadows from his hair hiding his expression, and I suddenly felt a sinking feeling.

"Yeah… you know, I really couldn't enjoy being right there beside you guys through that mess, because the whole time, I kept thinking about Gambia and the rest of my boys back in Loguetown," he said. "Shiki the Golden Lion… yeah, I think I might even give Gin the credit he's due; I could punch out a dozen of those bastards, and it wouldn't be as satisfying as watching Shiki fall out of the sky."